It's been 3 days I am sitting in this room alone.. I was just sitting ,thinking ,and stalking my own news on internet... How did it all came to this? How did my life change this much? When did I grew up this much to be an idol to feel hurt to feel lost to feel insecure of even having a friend who is a boy. When I was kid everyone said my looks were so precious and that I should be an actor or model, boys would be in line for me even in middle school. Now I grew up like a princess but I cant even look at someone without being insecure.. I never credit my true self so when I got older it looks like i came back ten times over. And now I am sitting on the hospital bed, looking at my never stopping thoughts. Tears dropped down my face as i read the hate comments saying i am a and untalented and etc.. When did I became so stupid when did I became lost like this I had a lot of moments that didn't last forever and I am trying to put it together how to love.. Why is it so wrong for me to love someone? Me loving Taemin,or me being seen with Myungsoo. Is it because I am an idol only? They don't deserve this... Why did my life became so complicated .. I am far from my usual... I couldn't ever figure out how to love, so I just kept on hurting and hurting because of my own feelings. They deserve better than this. "Naeun ah..."my mom was on the door with her watery eyes "Mom.."I cried more as I run and