Chapter 1

Post Her

"Damn Namjoo. Damn mukbang. Damn SugarPlease. Damn cravings. Damn Namjoo again." I silently muttered under my black mask and my black cap. I was a bit thankful though that the weather today is pretty cold, I wouldn't be accused as a snatcher or some sort.

 

If it wasn't for Namjoo, I wouldn't be here walking around the streets of Myeongdong, looking for that damn fishcake she had recently reviewed to be excellent, chewy, gooey, and yummy.

 

Well, okay, one-fourth my fault because I binge-watched my friend's Mukbang channel on Youtube but entirely all her fault for not assisting me here, saying I'm all grown-up, Am I A Baby?, and suddenly having a scheduled video-taking of her damn Sugar Please.

Wow the audacity of that rascal. So much for coming to all of her late-night shenanigans to feast her tummy's desires when I could've just chased all of my precious sleep due to playing PUBG.

 

Yeah, I'm a Youtuber as well, a well-known at that, that's why I'm here at an evening, really covered up, so that no one would take notice of me.

 

"Yah! Where in the world is that stall?" I shouted slash whispered at Namjoo who, magically all of a sudden, quickly picked up on the first ring.

 

"Yah, Unnie! I'm currently filming right now. Come on! Say hi to my Sugarplums." Namjoo answered back, doing a parkour—from annoyed to cheerful.

 

"I can't introduce myself here, you fool!" I shouted slash whispered again. I figured out that changing my voice would just strain my throat, making it hard for me to speak and make videos, and would probably attract eyes in my direction. And those are not a good combination.

 

"K fine, whatever, I'll just edit you out." I heard her say before munching God-knows-what in .

 

"You seriously just made chewing noises, huh, as in right now, in front of my grumbling stomach" Seriously. Damn Kim Namjoo.

 

"Correction. Right in front of your non-existent salad." I can even see her accusing no-sweetie-this-ain't-it finger and hear how she swallowed the food. Mukbangers are really something. It's like they're eating the mics as well.

 

"And my foolish Unnie, I seriously can't remember where. You watched my Myeongdong Street food Haul! Why in the world would you not use that as like a guide, duh?"

 

"My wonderful dongsaeng, who could've come with me in the first place and could've made my life easier but did not, I thought you're brainy enough to know I don't have data for your damn videos." I swear I'm not grumpy and stupid. This is just my stomach functioning instead of my brain.

 

"Aish! I'm just wasting time and food on you. That stall has a really unique smell. No joke, maybe that's why it's really tasty. I remember it's somewhere near to a store of merchandise and an internet cafe. I can't believe I will have to edit this part out. I already ate the juciest, biggest and meatiest part of this cra-"

 

"Alright, alright. Thank you for increasing my cravings." I said as I hung up. She literally did that in front of my non-existent salad.

 

After years of strolling around, carefully and quickly pulling up-and-down the mask between my nose and my mouth, I think I have found it.

 

There goes my shining glory, Mulgogi Cakes, inbetween an internet cafe and a shop. Just like what my pain-in-the- dongsaeng described.

 

I thought I was about to reach the gates of heaven when suddenly I felt a strong pain in my , making me fall straight to the ground.

 

What in the ing world?!

 

"You! Who would've thought I'd see you in person, huh!" It was a high-pitched voice and definitely belonged to a woman, her kick excluded.

 

I groaned while pulling myself back up. "Excuse me! What in the world is your problem?!"

 

Standing in front of me, a petite baby-faced girl in crossed arms was glaring and huffing in annoyance.

 

"You're Yoon Bomi, right?! I cannot have mistaken you. I saw your whole face with my own two eyes." She shouted. I can see some people turning their heads to us. I even heard some of them saying, "Is she Yoon Bomi?" "She does look like Yoon Bomi!"

 

Damn it! Thanks to this loud woman here, I am now forcing to squeeze my already dried up brain for more juice.

 

"I am not Yoon Bomi. I'm sorry, I don't even know her." I said, fighting the urge to pull my hair and her own. My head is really starting to hurt now! I can hear some people gasp. "Omo! She sounds like Yoon Bomi!"

 

Great. Just great.

 

"Stop lying. If you're not then remove your mask." She demanded once again, making her arms now more tightly crossed across her chest.

 

Girlie here is great at grabbing attention since a number of people decided to stick their asses on the ground, watching us like some blockbuster movie.

 

"If you won't, I'll do it then."

 

I don't know if I was just that slow or was she that fast because I found her stepping a foot forward and before I could even react, my head was already in her arms.

 

"Wait! Wait! Please! I haven't eaten yet for days. Please spare me!" I said while holding one hand on to her arms and the other on my mask like my life depended on it.

 

"She really does sound like Bomi! I swear! That's how she sounded when somebody shot her head that one PUBG session where she's playing with EXO's Sehun."

 

Thank you, my dear Bominator. I am now truly going headless in this harsh world. All I wanted was to eat fishcakes in peace.

 

"You can't buy me with your lies now, you ." The unknown loud woman said. Wow, never in my life was I called an in that tone.

 

"Please! Don't! Just order fishcakes for me and I'll remove it! Please! I feel like fainting n-"

 

She stopped whatever the pulling heck she was doing when my stomach grumbled. Hard.

 

Oh, I love you, my dear stomach. I vow not to keep you empty and neglected anymore.

 

It was weird how she did what I pleaded without any complaint but what's weirder is that she really dragged me to the stall in this position.

Her arms tightly locked in my head.

 

"Ahjussi, one order of fishcakes please."

 

"Rong-ah! Is that how you treat your good friend, huh?"

 

Rong, huh? So this is this psycho's name. Thought it was Satan.

 

"Just give me one please! She's not my friend."

 

Hallelujah! Finally, this fhsndhjdjd snack has now reached my hands. Thanks to the kind Ahjussi.

 

The devil decided to dig some coins in her pocket using her free hand.

 

"Let me pay for it."

"Shut your ."

 

Now what the heck was that.

 

Shutting my down, I happily munched on the heaven-made fishcakes. Oh damn, gotta thank my brat of a dongsaeng later.

 

My that was already shut down was shocked when I felt tightness in my neck.

Damn that fishcake made me forget the world.

 

"So you decided to just eat peacefully, huh?!" the Satan said. Her face was now damn close to me now though.

 

Feeling my brain cells getting regenerated, I did what I had to do.

Using the fork from the package with the fishcakes, I did a wonderful thing. I believe my Bominators would be so proud of me.

 

"Just because I told you to shut your a-" I have successfully inserted a fishcake in . Hah!

 

Shock was evident in her face but I decided to put all of the fishcakes continuously until the box was empty.

 

"Aigoo! My cute, cute girlfriend, Rongie-yah! You must be super duper hungry that you thought I'm your favorite idol, huh?" I deepened down my voice and purposively shouted at the unwanted attention this girl ordered. Wow. Youtuber Yoon Bomi going soreland.

 

"Nyah! Woon Mwom-" I cupped her cheeks because I know she'd be shouting once again.

 

Gosh, this girl.

 

"My cute, cute, Rongie-yah!" I said as I pinched her cheeks real hard. My cheeks, I have avenged your death.

 

I started to drag her away from the crowd. I loved how the tables have turned and I was now in full control since I had my whole left arm wrapped around her waist, the other hand pinching whole of her small face.

 

Whew. Finally my so loved Bominators simmered down. I love y'all but I just want serenity. Damn it.

 

After dragging Satan away from the crowd, I let her go.

 

"Now. Care to explain?"

 

Kick.

 

WHAT THE HECK?!

 

"What was that for?!" I shouted but immediately covered my mouth. "Yah! You know I can file a complaint against you, right?"

 

"And I can file a complaint against you as well! You left me hanging for a month and now you appear and pretend as if you do not know me!" She shouted back.

 

What in the world is happening?! Swear, if this is some sort of prank pulled by someone I'm gonna throw some fists.

 

"Rong-ssi, I bel-"

 

"Don't call me that."

 

Wow. She cut me off.

 

"Okay. Satan-ss-"

 

I hissed in pain once more as a kick was flown again to my poor .

 

"You really love kicking, don't you? I can kick you back, you weird bastard!" I shouted, massaging the cheeks of my . This girl is really crossing the line.

 

I was shocked that she didn't fire back so I decided that maybe I??? can??? now??? leave???

 

I turned my back and patted my whole parka hoodie to remove the dirt from my unexpected diving lessons.

 

"Aish! Now it has a hole!" I loudly exclaimed as I noticed something had pierced inside of my most favorite winter clothing.

 

Okay, I repeat, this is my stomach speaking. I only ate one fishcake okay. I am now grumpy.

 

Thanks to Miss Loudass, I had to devour myself with the nearest stall I saw. The vendor was an old man and since there weren't much people in this side of Myeongdong—if this still even is Myeongdong after all that dragging with Miss Loudmouth. I slightly pulled down my mask up until my chin. In fairness, they have chairs and this ramen tastes so good.

 

I thought Satan was long gone until I turned around and saw her standing right behind of me.

 

"Ah! What do you want, huh? I would appreciate a brief solitary moment to satisfy my cravings. A me time? A time for myself? Me, Myself, and I?"

 

Girlie Satan here is looking at me with doe, puppy eyes. I think she's playing games with me mind, telekenisis-ing me brain to talk into whatever crap she was spouting minutes ago. Well not today satan.

 

"Alright! I've had enough. Here was I feeling sorry for kicking you as that was not a nice way of us finally meeting in person. You were this talkative. Now tell me why you decided to cut ties with me without any explanation, huh? Did you even know how many sleepless nights I had, thinking where in the world did I go wrong?!"

 

Oh, she snapped.

Whatever my twin look-a-like did to this girl, I can never know. But I can tell it was not that good.

 

I stopped slurping the noodles and stood up and faced her. I think I now know the problem.

 

Before I put a stop in this senseless crap of a loophole, I put on my mask up my nose.

 

"Miss-Not-Rong-ssi,-Not-Satan-ssi,-Miss-Do-Not-Kick-Me." I said as quick as I can. Whoo! Fortunately the horse inside of her didn't neigh the soul outta my . "I am sorry once again for what happened to you but believe me, I do not know anything about what happened. I am a Youtuber mostly known as Pub-Bomi because I like to upload videos of myself playing PUBG. I believe that the person you were talking to was not me but instead, a poser. I hope that the incident awhile ago between us will be for ourselves only. Please do understand the reason for my rash actions is solely because I do not want to attract unnecessary attention. That is all."

 

Now, that is my brain speaking. Aye aye captain.

 

"P-poser?" She muttered.

 

"Yes. A poser. A person who pretends someone they are not. Where did the both of you talk? 'Cause for real I don't do that so I don't know."

 

"Tinder."

 

Damn it.

 

"See! That clearly was not me. I am busy uploading videos to have time to go Tindering, Miss."

 

That seemed to have knock some sense on her as she was suddenly quiet.

 

"Now that I see that our problem is now resolved. I may now proceed to go home." As I get the noodle cup, ready to leave, she abruptly stopped me.

 

"W-wait! Help me find her."

 

Excuse me. What.

 

"Miss, help you find her? How in the world are you sure that's a her? For all I know, there are a lot of people in the world. The person behind that account can be some old man taking advantage of you or some sort of ert."

 

"If that's what he wants then he should've set a date for us to meet. Not ghost me out of the blue."

 

Well, she does have a point. But that's not the point.

 

"Again, I am sorry for what happened. But I am in no way connected with this business of yours. If you really want, go to some cyber police to ask for help."

 

I repeat. I'm not grumpy so as a decent human being I am, I looked at her straight in the eyes.

 

"Take care on the way home" And may we never meet again. Damn Loudass Satan Rong-ssi.

 

 

Author's Note: Alright, I'd like to apologise for fshhdgdh-ing the fishcakes. They do not deserve the disrespect. Whew. Since y'all have an idea who Miss Loudy-Pants is.. 

 

Fun Fact: I seriously have no idea what to call the magical fishcakes so I decided to search what 'fish' is in Korean and wow it's "Mulgogi" and Miss Loudass is "Mulgokizary". Coincidence? Heh! 

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Comments

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prkchrng1991
#1
Chapter 6: authornim please come back 🥺
Panda0619
#2
Chapter 6: Wow I really like this story.. love the funny moments!!
LurJade9
#3
Chapter 6: Please come back soon!!
ckaz99
#4
Chapter 6: Oh my god I swear this is so funny ㅋㅋㅋㅋ your depiction of Bomi is the best I love it! I keep chuckling to myself throughout the chapter! Mistaking Joohyunnn AHAHA~ gosh, and Namjoo getting that tea mmhmm. The banter is also so good. And what a way to end the chapter damn!! I think what’s really funny is imagining Eunji’s face when she realises Chorong actually found contact with the idol she was posing as hahahaha. Omg can you imagine her face when she sees the video with Chorong in it *wheezing laughing* Is this what you call karma XD
The chapters are getting more warm and fuzzy as we go along~ Thank u for the updates <3
ckaz99
#5
Chapter 4: Uhguhugug Chorong is showing more of her endearing laughter, that’s so cute~ Bomi’s answers to Chorong’s questions were also entertaining. What if that’s how they get to know each other?—asking personality trait questions that line up with the poser, hoho. It’s adorable how they’re warming up to each other.
KwonJoYeon
#6
Chapter 6: Eunji is the poser. ㅋㅋㅋ
Ms_Interesado
#7
Chapter 6: And here I thought Naeun will appear...*sulks internally*. Just joking, thank you for the update, Author-nim!
Loverong #8
Chapter 4: Please update soon authornim!
I need chomi fanfic updates.
So my wild thoughts of Chorong might be dating someone right now will go away!