Every so often Yunho took a step back from his life just to look in and wonder how exactly it had ended up like this.

            He lived in a rundown apartment with an almost unbelievably lazy roommate; a roommate he was ashamed to say seemed to be the only friend he actually had. He hadn’t had a girlfriend in years, and, although he wasn’t that interested in relationships, the physical aspect was certainly something that he missed. He hated his job with a burning passion, and he was starting to believe that even the paycheck he so desperately needed wasn’t worth the struggle and the hours of frustration that came with going to work.

            Sometimes, and recently more and more often, Yunho found himself searching through his memory in an attempt to figure out just where he had gone wrong.

            Maybe he could have worked a bit harder in high school, but that was true of every student, not just him. He could have listened more to his parents, for sure. But all kids had their rebellious stages. It was simply a part of growing up.

            No matter how much Yunho waded through the missteps and small mistakes of his childhood and his young adult life, he could never find one glaringly obvious error that had effectively ruined his chances at a better future. To continue dwelling on it would be completely futile – this he knew this full well.

            But as he stood face to face with Junsu, trying not to let his extreme exasperation show on his face, the obvious futility of such an endeavor couldn’t stop him from doing just that.

            “Ah, Yunho! Thanks for staying afterward. This will only take a minute.” Junsu said with a polite smile as he welcomed Yunho into his office. Junsu had somehow managed to call for him just after class had ended, mere seconds before Yunho was about to sprint out the door and go back to his piece of trash apartment that was somehow still better than being at work.

            Yunho had no idea what it was Junsu wanted. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Yunho couldn’t help but hope that maybe Junsu was firing him. It certainly would save him the trouble of having to quit himself.

            “Take a seat, take a seat.” Junsu insisted. Yunho nodded politely and sat down across from Junsu’s desk. His office was nicely decorated, decently sized, and certainly better than anything Yunho could possible claim. He found his eyes wandering around the room, inspecting the various books that lined the walls and the carpeted floor beneath his feet that was much different from the dull gray linoleum of the school that he had become used to. He couldn’t help but feel the familiar burn of envy as his fingers ran along the dark leather of the chair he found himself sitting in. Jealousy had become all too familiar whenever he was around Junsu.

            He hated the feeling.

             “So you’re probably wondering why I called you in here so randomly.” Junsu said, snapping Yunho out of his daydream.

            Yes, he was wondering just that. He hadn’t done anything wrong – or, more wrong than the usual. He certainly couldn’t think of a major reason for him to be in Junsu’s office. Yunho simply nodded, unsure of what to say.

            “It’s about one of your students.” He said. Yunho frowned. He wasn’t sure he liked where the conversation was headed. “He’s not a bad kid, but his grades are slipping.” Junsu stated. Yunho found himself exhaling rather loudly. It seemed he wasn’t in trouble after all. For anyone else this would be a cause for relief, but for Yunho, this only served to anger him further. “Would it be possible for you to tutor him after school maybe once or twice a week?”

            Yunho’s hands clenched stiffly against the leather of the seat as he forced a smile onto his face. “Of course. Not a problem at all.” He said, the bitter tone in his voice remaining undetected by an ever-grinning Junsu.

            “Good, good!” Junsu said as he clapped his hands together. Though none of this was the older man’s fault, Yunho still found himself wanting to reach across the table and punch that smirk right off of his face. “You have a few options. You can do it in the library here, at his house, or at your own. I’ve spoken to the student earlier and he will come approach you. You two can choose whatever works best.”

            Yunho nodded through his completely forced smile. “Sounds good.” He muttered, voice sounding like a low growl as he spoke between clenched teeth. Staying for five minutes after school for this meeting was torture enough. He wasn’t sure how well he could manage doing it for an hour or so once or twice after school. “Which student, may I ask?”

            Junsu laughed and placed his palm on his forehead. “I almost forgot to mention that! Ah, I’m so forgetful lately.” He said with a laugh. Yunho nodded and smiled, as he always did, in understanding. “His name is Jaejoong. Kim Jaejoong.”

            And just like that Yunho’s heart froze in his chest.

            If he were to sit down and try to figure out just where his life went wrong, he’d probably waste hours upon hours thinking and never even find a decent answer for himself.

            But as he sat there, doing his best not to stand up and throw his chair across the room in anger and trash the office in an uncontrollable fury, he couldn’t help but do just that.

            Because for Yunho to have the extreme misfortune to see him outside of school as well as in it, there had to have been somewhere in his life, somewhere he just couldn’t remember, where some major accident had completely and totally derailed his chance of a better future.

            And even if he couldn’t figure it out right then, there was not a doubt in his mind that it would show up sooner or later.

            This time the sound of the bell didn’t sail through his body in a wave of beautiful relief. This time, it only made his stomach clench up in knots and his fists tighten even further.

            He watched with a feeling of burning jealousy as all the students packed their things and scampered out the room while giggling and laughing to each other, their eyes wide and eager to finally be out of class.

            All but one student, that is.

            He sat with his arms folded, eyes settled in his usual piercing stare. And he certainly didn’t look like he was going to move anytime soon.

            The room was painfully quiet as they simply stared at each other. It was almost painfully obvious that neither one wanted to approach the other. They seemed to be stuck in a bit of a standoff, the tension almost impossibly uncomfortable as they said absolutely nothing, the only sounds between them the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall.

            Yunho sighed loudly. As much as he didn’t want to be, he was, technically, a teacher. And unfortunately, that position forced a bit of maturity on him that he had to get used to sometime or other.

            And right then was a perfect time to start.

            “Alright.” He said. He walked up to Jaejoong’s desk and placed his hands on the cold wooden surface. “Let’s get this over with. Shall we go to the library?”

            Jaejoong only looked away and said nothing, his arms still folded tightly across his chest as his facial expression remained fixed in one of stubborn defiance.

            Yunho found himself sighing once again. “Fine, you don’t have to talk.” In fact, Yunho could say quite confidently that he preferred it that way. The one thing he hated more than his pitch black eyes was his uncharacteristically gentle voice. Luckily Yunho didn’t have to hear it often, seeing as the boy was usually too stubborn to say a word during class. “I’m going to the library. If you actually want to get this done, come with me.”

            Yunho headed out the door and down the hallway at a rather quick pace, trying to speed up the painful process anyway he knew how. He didn’t have to turn around to know that Jaejoong was following at a distance behind him. He could hear his light footsteps treading gently on the dull floor beneath them. They were quiet, subtle – like he didn’t want Yunho to know that he was there at all. It seemed like his stubborn defiance knew no bounds after all.

            Much to Yunho’s disappointment, the library was nearly abandoned that particular day, though it was usually teeming students all in a panic about their homework, their next essay, their next test they had convinced themselves they would fail unless they studied upwards of ten hours.

            Of all the things Yunho hated about his own school years, he could say with confidence that he hated those students the most. The students who did nothing but study day in and day out, ripping pages out of the library textbooks just so their classmates couldn’t see them. The students who would do anything just to get ahead in life, who wouldn’t even hesitate to run over fellow classmates for the sake of a good grade.

            They titled themselves as geniuses when they were nothing but cowards, terrified that they wouldn’t get the grade they wanted, that they wouldn’t get to have that feeling of superiority, the coveted feeling of self-righteousness that they just thrived on.

            It was the epitome of pathetic, yet it was that very behavior that the school encouraged, that the school praised as the golden standard all students should strive for.

            He slammed his bag on the table as he tried to push back the memories of school from worming their way back into the crevices of his brain. Taking a seat, he pulled out an English textbook and a pencil and prepared himself for the hour of torture that was sure to follow.

            To his surprise, Jaejoong didn’t sit across from him, or even a few feet from him at the already much too small square table where they were situated. He grabbed a chair, placed it right next to Yunho, and plopped himself so close to him that he could feel his shoulder brush his own every so often, could feel the heat of the boy against his arms.

            Yunho frowned. He felt uncomfortable being in the same room as the boy, let alone being in such close quarters with him. He shook his head and decided to ignore it, attributing his positioning to perhaps mere social awkwardness. The kid just didn’t know how to act around people, he convinced himself.

            “So what are you having trouble with?” Yunho grumbled.

            Jaejoong said nothing. He simply trapped his bottom lip between his teeth and held it there, playing with his fingers all the while.

            Yunho knew full well that violence against kids was a detestable and vile act.

            But he was slowly starting to see just how it happened.

            “Okay, fine. Don’t say anything. Just give me your homework. We’ll go over it.”

            Jaejoong pulled it out of his bag and handed it to him without a word. After giving it a once over, Yunho knew that they had a long way to go.

            He rubbed his forehead with his head. Was this kid really this stupid?

            Yunho wasn’t quite sure where to begin with all the problems on the page. But he had to start somewhere.

            “Okay, first of all…” He said with a sigh. “Your tenses are all screwed up. Do you even know the difference between present and future tense?”

            And Jaejoong said nothing.

            Although Yunho had said that he preferred silence from the younger boy, this kind of silent stubbornness was somehow even worse.

            Yunho went slowly through, outlining every single problem he could find on his homework – which was many, to say the least.

            He wasn’t at all sure if the boy was listening or not. It certainly didn’t seem like he was. He didn’t give a single sign that anything Yunho was saying was sinking in.

            He just sat there silently, playing with his pale fingers and staring at his lap. Yunho wasn’t sure if the boy even noticed it or not, but every so often Jaejoong would lean up against Yunho’s shoulder and remain there as Yunho spoke.

            Yunho only gritted his teeth and continued the lecture, sure if he brought it up it would just bring about a whole slew of problems he didn’t even want to begin to deal with.

            “So if this word is the direct object, then –“

            “What’s your first name?” Jaejoong asked in a raspy voice that made Yunho shudder from head to toe.

            Yunho could do nothing but stare at the boy. After nearly an hour of grammar patterns, spelling rules, and even a bit of pronunciation practice (with Yunho only speaking, of course) the boy had that question to ask? 

            “None of your business.” Yunho hissed. He could feel the boy’s eyes now, but he didn’t want to meet them with his own. He suddenly felt afraid of his stare. He didn’t want to see that boy’s face, his infuriatingly gorgeous features that haunted him at every chance they could.

            He felt Jaejoong's hands yanking on the nametag all the teachers were issued. He leaned close, much too close.

            “Yunho.” He said. Yunho jolted at the sound of his own name coming from the boy’s mouth. It felt much too familiar for his tastes. It made him sick to his stomach to hear.

            “Congratulations, you can read. I almost thought you couldn’t for a while.” He spat.

            And Jaejoong simply smiled at him.

            It was the first smile he had ever seen from the younger boy. It was slightly crooked, his teeth almost unnaturally white, his entire face glowing with a bizarre kind of brightness he had never witnessed from someone before.  It was somehow more beautiful than the rest of him. 

            And Yunho hated it.

            “I like your name. Yunho.” Jaejoong said. Yunho shuddered again. The way he said it, his name, made him want to wipe that smile off of his face with whatever methods he could.

            “Call me Mr. Jung.” He insisted. He didn’t want to hear it from him again.

            “But that makes you sound old.” The boy said. "How old are you, really? You seem young.” The boy asked. He sounded strange. He was talking to him normally for the first time ever, yet that stubbornness, that distinct stubbornness that somehow only he could pull off, was still there.

            “This lesson’s over. Time to go home.” Yunho said, picking up his things and heading for the door before he felt a gentle tug on his sleeve.

            “I need a ride. Give me a ride home.” The boy whispered.

            “No.”

            “Yunho, Please.” Stop saying my name. “I don’t have a ride home.”

            “That’s not my problem.”

            The boy looked up at him. His eyes, dark, wide, much too pretty for such a boy to have, seemed to look straight through him. “Please, Yunho.” He begged, his voice low and flat.

            Yunho clicked his tongue. “Fine.” He hissed before spinning around and heading out the door.

            He knew he shouldn’t have agreed. He didn’t want to spend another minute with the boy, let alone give him a ride home.

            But he just wanted him to stop saying his name like that. With that pathetic, pleading tone. Yunho wasn’t used to people begging for things before. And it made him uncomfortable. Especially since it was him.

            The car ride was silent.

            Every so often Yunho glanced out of the corner of his eyes to see just what Jaejoong was up to. What he saw was utterly uninteresting. He simply held his chin in his hands, gazing out the window with those damned eyes of his. Every so often Jaejoong would mumble which turn to make in a completely quiet, disinterested voice.

            Yunho clenched at the steering wheel until his fingers turned white. He was giving the kid a ride home; he could at least sound appreciative.

            “This is it.” Jaejoong muttered. Yunho pulled up and parked on the street outside his apartment complex.

            “Get out.” He demanded.

            Jaejoong folded his arms and sat there, biting his lip as he seemed to always do.

            “I hate teachers.” He said after a few seconds of silence.

            Yunho scoffed. “That makes two of us.”

            “I hate teachers. But I don’t hate you. Why is that?” He asked, eyes squinted nearly shut in anger.

            Yunho could feel his heartbeat quickening in his chest. He wanted the boy to hate him. He wanted to boy to detest him, to leave him alone.

            He just wanted the kid to get out of his car and never speak to him again.

            “Look, I don’t know, and I don’t care. Now get out.”  

            Jaejoong sighed loudly and opened the car door. “Thank you for the ride, Yunho.” He grumbled before slamming the door and running inside.

            Yunho didn’t want to watch him until he had disappeared into the building, but for some reason that’s exactly what he ended up doing.

            He collapsed his head against the steering wheel, trying to settle his rapid heartbeat that seemed to be speeding up as he found himself becoming more and more enraged by the second.

            Maybe Yunho hadn’t made one giant mistake in his childhood that had completely ruined his future.

            Maybe that mistake, the mistake that would set off a chain reaction of disasters that he could never repair, was taking the damn job in the first place.

            He pulled away and started speeding down the road, the boy’s voice ringing in his head like a funeral toll the entire way home. 

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A/N: Hey all! This chapter is short because I was a bit pressed for time. I have soccer and lacrosse tonight and I'm already dead tired from babysitting a bunch of brats this morning. Like Yunho, I detest kids.  Let's hope I don't pass out :(

Thank you so much for your comments. You guys really are the best. 

See you Sunday!

-Gelisi