(A/N: This is pretty much the rough draft of the story, so there are alot of grammatical errors and typos. I didn't edit it at all.)

 

 

I smiled as I looked over at Hanbin, enjoying the cool weather of spring coming upon us. We’re walking home from school. We already dropped off Jennie on our way and we were on our way back to my house to study. Jennie would have came along, but she was in a bit of trouble with her parents. This was the first time in awhile Hanbin and I walked home alone together since he started dating Jennie, so it was nice. It was nice having my best friend to myself.

 

And as if he read my mind, I heard him start to speak “Sorry I haven’t been able to spend time with you. It's just you know. With Basketball, School, and Jennie. I just haven’t had the time.” He smiled apologetically at me.

 

I nodded “Don’t worry Bin, I understand you’re busy. But so am I, the only difference is I don’t have a boyfriend. So i may not be as busy as you are” I laughed as he rolled his eyes.

 

He laughed “hayi, I was always curious….how come you’ve never had a boyfriend?”

 

I looked over at him. Because of you, i thought. But of course I would never admit it. I just shrugged “No one likes me, I guess.” I smiled up at him. “I’m not exactly a guy magnite Bin. If you haven’t noticed guys don’t seem to find me attractive, cause you know, I’m Piggy hayi” I said jokingly.

 

He smiled “ Hayi, a lot of guys like you. They’ve even tried to talk to you. But they all say you seem to like someone else”

 

I looked over at him, he stared at me waiting for an answer.  “Uhm, I guess i’m just not interested in dating and plus I don’t really like anyone.” I lied. Hoping he would believe and he did. I saw a sense of relief wash over his once serious features. I blinked, was I seeing things. I quickly shook my head. No i’m just being crazy.

 

We finally had finished our peaceful walk to my house. As we got inside, I quickly stiffened as I saw who was in my home. I heard Hanbin abruptly stop, but before he could even ask what was wrong, I felt him tense up too. It was a strange and rare sight, but sitting in my living room looking at us, was My father and Hanbin’s parents. What could this be about?

 

“Appa” I bowed and I felt Hanbin doing the same. “Abeoji, Omoni” I heard hanbin saying.

 

My father spoke first. “ Oh, Hayi and Hanbin. You are just in time. We wanted to speak with both of you, come sit with us.” He smiled. Weird.

 

We both nodded as we both took seats beside our parents. I stared at hanbin curiously, wondering if he knew anything. But he seemed as clueless as me.

 

“We have some news for you guys” Hanbin fathers spoke, and I saw Hanbin's mother hold Hanbin hand, as if trying to comfort him. I suddenly felt very nervous.

 

“Hayi, Hanbin. We are merging our companies” Our fathers smiled at us. “We decided to work side by side.” I felt a wave of relief. “Oh appa and uncle, that's great I am so happy for you!” I smiled at my father. I looked over at Hanbin, but he suddenly seemed to be very serious.

 

“Appa, what do you mean merge the companies…..How?” Hanbin looked at his father. Why was his tone so dark, wasn’t this supposed to be happy news? Didn’t this mean our companies would do better? And then it all clicked and suddenly I felt sick. I remembered what elitist world Hanbin, I and our friends lived in. The word “merge” meant one thing in big companies, no one ever did it so easily.

 

“Well, Hanbin” My father spoke, I heard a certain edge in his voice. This wasn’t going to go well. “You are going to marry my daughter Hayi, since you are the eldest and only boy between our two families and you will be taking over your father's company someday. We thought this was best.”

 

And suddenly the world stopped and I felt sick. The next thing I heard was yelling, hurried footsteps and the front door of my home slammed shut. But I couldn’t make out the words. I just couldn’t believe this could still happen in this day and age. Hadn’t we grown past this as a country. Had my father really sold me off to better his company?

 

   X

 

He had been avoiding me since we got the news, we hadn’t talked in days. We were best friends, but now every time he saw me, his eyes flashed with anger and he hated me. He hated my guts, and I felt dirty. Yes, I had feelings for him, but I knew he only saw me as a friend. I just never expected this outcome.

 

“Hanbin, will you please talk to me?” I pleaded. I finally caught him, after days of trying to confront and talk to him. I guess today was my lucky day.

 

‘’ Why are you so angry at me? I don’t want this either! ” I felt hurt, I understood he was angry, but it still really hurt.

 

He looked at me with cold eyes, as if trying to analyze me. I could feel his anger emitting from around him. I wanted to runaway from him but I was stubborn and he is my best friend. “Bin please, I’m sorry it turned out this way. I don’t want this to happen, I don’t want to lose our friendship over this. Maybe if we both talk to your father he would understand.”

 

He wasn’t responding, just looking down at me. As if I was scum of the earth. “I tried hayi. But it seems like my father is on board with this and there is nothing that can be done. Apparently, your father said he did this because it was what you wanted.”

 

I took a step back in shock “Bin…You don’t think I have anything to do with right Hanbin?” Did he really think I would plan something so elaborate and cruel just to be with him? Did he think that low of me? Didn’t he know me? Didn’t he know how much I cared for him?

 

“ Jennie told me. She told me you have feelings for me. I couldn’t figure out why your father would want to merge with my families company, it’s doing well all on its own, he doesn't even need our help and then it clicked when Jennie told me about your feelings.” I felt like he stabbed my heart  “My heart lies with Jennie and I don’t know what you told your father for this to happen. But I will never forgive you.” yep. He hated me and that hurt more than the rejection.

 

I grabbed his wrist in attempt to get him to listen to me. “Bin, please. I didn’t plan this, yes I have feelings for you. But I’d never do this, I care about our friendship too much and I care about Jennie. I beg and pleaded to my father.. If there were anything I could do, you know I would.” I felt the tears streaming down my face.

 

He scoffed “Always the spoiled Hayi, always have to have your way. Just know Hayi, I will find a way out of this. Don’t talk to me anymore. I hate you.” I already knew it, but hearing him say it really destroyed me. He looked at me with pure disgust as he whipped his hands away and walked away. Leaving me a complete mess.

 

I hate myself too Hanbin. I hate myself too.

 

He hadn’t spared me a glance as the days went by, we had some classes and lunch together. But I knew better than to sit with him. We did share the same friends. But I felt like they all had a different image of me now. Like they all hated me just like Bin did. Yes, they still talked to me, but it wasn’t the same.

 

I looked over at Bins table, and I saw him laughing with all of our childhood friends. Smiling at them as he held onto Jennies hand for dear life. I hadn’t realize I was staring so long, until I met his gaze, anger replacing his once happy ones as he turned and kiss Jennie on the lips. I quickly turned away. Feeling my already broken heart, break even more.

              X  

 

I walked home alone for the first time in my 16 years of life. Hanbin and Jennie use to walk with me. But I guess they both hated me now.

 

Jennie. Jennie use to be my best friend. She was my first girlfriend, none of the other girls use to talk to me because they all thought i was too fat and ugly. I use to get teased a lot, until Jennie stood up for me when we were in 7th grade.

 

I felt the tears b against my eyes as I sat in the bathroom stall as I heard the other girls on the other side.

 

“How did Hayi become friends with Hanbin, she is so fat and ugly” One girl said.

 

“I know, and she walks around and tries so hard to be friends with everyone. OMO! Do you think she slept with him” Girl two said.

 

“O my god. She must have. Ha that makes so much sense. How else would they want to be friends with her. She must’ve been easy and that's why he keeps her around. I mean look at how she follows him around like a love sick puppy. What a !” The pair of girls laughed.

 

I looked at the floor as the tears started to fall. I tried to be as quiet as possible, so they wouldn’t hear me. But I knew they knew I was there. That's why they were saying it, so I could hear it. I heard the stall of the door next to me open.

 

“That is just rude! Hayi is a nice girl and you shouldn’t spread fake rumors of her just because you like Hanbin!” the voice startled me, no one had ever defended me before.

 

“Jennie! We...we were just joking around” One of the girls stuttered.

 

“No you weren’t, you know she's in here. That's why you said it. If you guys don’t leave her alone I’m not going to let you rest.” No one messed with Jennie, she was one of the prettiest girls in school and everyone wanted to be friends with her because she was so kind. “Leave now before I tell hanbin all the things you said and make sure to leave hayi alone too!”

 

The girls apologized to Jennie and quickly ran out.

 

That was the day Jennie and I had officially become friends.

 

I open the door to my house as I just got in. “Hayi! Welcome home! Are you hungry?” I smiled and nodded to my nanny Bom. She pretty much was the head maid in our house and kinda acted as my father secretary since he trusted her so much. But first and foremost, she was my nanny. She had taken care of me since I was 3 years old and when my mother passed away. She was pretty much like my mother. “No unnie, I ate alot at school. I was actually wondering if my father was home?”

She looked at me with knowing eyes, she knew why I wanted to see him. But I could tell she was hesitant of telling me. She sighed “yes hayi, he is home. But i think it's best if you don’t talk to him right now. The last time you guys talked, it wasn’t good. Hayi, I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

She was right. The last time we talked my father slapped me, saying I was ungrateful and that I should be thanking him for the fact he had arranged for me to marry hanbin because with my looks, no man ever would. I left his room in tears thinking of all the things he said to me. My father and I weren’t close, after my mother died he never looked at me or ever spoke more than two words to me. My presents angered him, so I stayed far away, I was a victim of one too many times of his anger, although it wasn’t physical his verbal abuse didn’t sting any less.

 

I nodded “okay unnie, I’ll be going to my room.” She gave me a worried look. She knew the announcement of the engagement between Hanbin and I destroyed our friendship and frankly destroyed me. I never dreamt of the day that my father and hanbin's father would arrange for all of this, yes we both came from wealthy families but I never thought they would do this.

 

I set my books on my table as I prepared to study and get some homework done. I’ve been doing this alot lately so I could distract myself, I softly laugh. The only good thing about not being friends with Hanbin anymore, my grades were doing better, since no one was talking to me any longer. I felt the tears coming again, but quickly whipped them off my face as I heard the door to my bedroom open. It was Bom.

 

“Hayi, someone is here to see you” i felt my heart quicken, as I looked cautiously looked at her, was it bin?

 

She looked at me sadly, “It's not Hanbin, its the other boy, Kim Jiwon? He said he wanted to see you”

 

X

 

Bobby and I were inside the corner store near my house, so no one could hear us talk. I was nervous, I hadn’t spoke to bobby since the news. We were friends and always nice, but he is Hanbin's best friend. Bobby and I didn’t interact much unless hanbin was around. This was strange to me.

 

Bobby spoke first “How are you doing Hi?” I was taken back, mostly cause I didn’t expect anyone to talk to me, especially not Bobby.

 

“I-- I’m o-okay, i’ve had better days” I smiled softly at him as I nervously fiddled with the top of my soda can.

 

“Hayi, you don’t have to be nervous, I’m not going to attack you or anything. I was just worried. I hadn’t talk to you since the news with hanbin. But you are my friend too. I know this has been hard on you too.” He said to me as he patted my head.

 

I didn’t know tears had already left my eyes, until Bobby was whipping them and held me against his chest. “Hayi-ah, I’m sorry it took so long for me to come check up on you. But don’t worry, you can talk to me too. Don’t feel like you’re all alone.”

 

I cried into Bobby’s sweater, my emotions taking over me. I knew I shouldn’t rely on Hanbin’s best friend, but it was so nice to have someone to rely on, it was nice for someone to comfort me when I felt like I was all alone.

 

Bobby slowly release his grip on me as I finally stopped crying. I looked up at Bobby for the first time. “How is he doing?” I asked. I knew I should be angry at hanbin too, I knew I should hate him too for the way he was acting, but I didn’t, I stilled worried about him.

 

Bobby smiled softly. “He’s not doing any better than you. He’s pretending to be okay but it hurts him too. I know he regrets saying those hurtful words to you, but he has too much pride to admit it. He’ll come around Hayi, I’m sure he’ll realize he ed up and come running back for your forgiveness, he knows this isn’t your fault.” bobby my arm as he tried to comfort me.

 

“I want to believe you Bobby, but you didn’t see the way he looked at me. As if I was scum at the bottom of his shoe.” I tried the mask the hurt, but of course I failed.

 

Bobby looked me in the eyes as he grabbed my hands “ He will come around hayi, besides me, you are his best friend. you guys have known each other since you were in diapers. Believe me hayi, he knows he messed up. He knows you didn’t set this up. He just want someone to be angry at, and you were his easiest target, because no matter how many times he ed up, when he turned around you were always there, he depends on you hayi, more than he shows. When he realizes he ed up, I hope from the kindness of your heart you will forgive him, even though I would understand if you don’t. He made a lapse of judgement through anger. He will come back hayi, don’t worry.”

 

Bobby smiled at me as we finished talking, I hadn’t realized how much his words strengthen and comforted me. I wanted to believe his words. But I wouldn’t get my hopes up. I thanked him for checking up on me and he walked me home.

 

I felt a huge weight release off my shoulder. I hugged him when we got to my house “Thank you so much bobby, you have made me feel so much better.” I felt him smile into my hair as he hugged me tighter. “No worries Hayi, always know you have me and of course the other guys too, you may think they hate you but their worried about you too hayi. They just don’t know how to deal with all this so they were nervous. That's why I came, they were worried they all would up trying to comfort you.” He laughed softly. He pulled away and looked at me. Realizing the shock on my face, he continued to speak, as if reading my thoughts.

 

“None of us hate you Hayi, so don’t feel like you can’t talk to us. We are all still your friends and still love you very much. Even if you and Hanbin aren’t talking, we still want you around.” He smiled at me as he patted my head. “Okay?”

 

I nodded “Okay Bobby, thank you so much.” I hugged him and gave him a peck on the cheek as I waved goodbye. I felt really thankful for Bobby and I felt a lot better too.

X

 

The next few days were quiet. I spent most of my lunches in the library, I just couldn’t bare the glare that Hanbin threw my way every time he saw me. The guys still talked to me though, even if Hanbin hated me. They still took care of me.

 

I took out my notebook as I wrote down all the notes from my books and tried to get some extra studying time in. We had Midterms coming up and I couldn’t risk failing. As I was turning the pages, I saw a familiar figure making their way through the shelves, make their way towards me.

I thought nothing of it, until the person coughed to make their presence known. I looked up and it was Jennie.

 

We were seated on a bench near the courtyard. I haven't talked to Jennie since the news either. I guess with all my emotions and cowardice, I couldn’t find the strength to talk to her. I figured she hated me too. But I figured I shouldn’t be a coward anymore.

 

“I’m sorry jen--” she cut me off. “I can’t believe you would do this hayi, I thought we were friends” Jennie gave me a glare that could almost match Hanbins.

 

“Jennie, no! I didn’t plan this I swear. I had no idea of it. I would never do this to you or Hanbin. You two are my closest friends”

 

She rolled her eyes and scoffed at me. “Really hayi? Are you serious? You think I would believe that. You are so pathetic. So desperate that you would go this far.”

 

“jennie , please” I felt the tears coming. I hated this.

 

“You are such a piece of Hayi-ah. You knew you wouldn’t win against me so you use your fathers wealth as leverage.” She sighed. I tried to grab her arm to get her to listen to me, but she slapped my hand away. “Don’t touch me you filthy pig. I’m only letting you live peacefully at this school because of Hanbin.”

 

I couldn’t believe her words, they replayed in my mind as she started to stand up “Oh by the way, stay away from Hanbin's friends, we’re all starting to get tired of your pathetic . It's becoming burdensome, so if you care about hanbin at all. Leave us all alone.” she sent me one more glare as a warning as she walked away.

 

How come they didn’t believe her? Her two closest friends didn’t believe her.

 

I gathered my things, as I got ready to leave the school at the end of the day. I pretty much ran out because I was so upset. Jennie’s words still ringing in my ears. I almost made it out until I felt a pair of arms slow down my pace by grabbing my elbow. I looked up to see none other than bobby with a concerned expression.