Jinki and Kibum were inseparable from the day their parents met as neighbours when Kibum's family moved to Seoul from Daegu. At that time, Jinki was just turned 8 and Kibum was barely 6 years old. Their parents became closer with time and so did they. 

Since then, their parents made sure that they enrolled in the same school and did activities together whenever they could. As a result, they became too attached to the point that Kibum and Jinki always found refuge in each other even when they slept. 

They would always sleep on Kibum's comfortable bed huddled together in each other's arms. It became a habit that they were unable to let go of and as a result, none of them were able to fall asleep if they were not together. Not when their parents took them on individual family trips, not when they had to make different school trips because they were not in the same class in school. Although the school trips could not be avoided, the boys started to accompany each other even on family trips and the parents never protested because they were always happiest when together. 

Although they used to do mostly everything together when they were young, as time passed- their differences started to show. Kibum only had two close friends - Jonghyun and Taemin while Jinki became popular and more of a wild child after he started college. Kibum had only dated once while Jinki dated and slept around too often for his own good. Kibum was only attracted to guys while Jinki swung both ways. No matter who he dated or played around with, and no matter how late he got back home, Jinki always ended up snuggled with Kibum at the end of each day. After Kibum's first relationship ended, Jinki was there for him through every stage and comforted him, holding him close every night when he bawled his eyes out crying. 

Somehow along the way, Kibum started to realise that he might just not like Jinki in a platonic way.  It's not that he didn't love him already, he did love him and treasure him so much. But he started to realise that his heart beat a little too fast when he was next to him and he was also always blushing furiously when his heart was being like this. He was helplessly falling for him but he knew that Jinki's heart wasn't his and it broke his heart seeing his Jinki kissing, loving, cuddling someone else. 

Soon enough, they both graduated college two years apart from each other. Jinki waited for Kibum to end his college life so that they could finally move in to their own apartment. Soon after Kibum graduated, they both moved in to a cozy apartment not too far away from their homes. Until date, they always needed to sleep in each other's arms no matter how many women and men Jinki dated, he always cuddled with Kibum every night. They still watched movies together on weekends, went for ice cream when they felt like it, made breakfast together ( if Jinki woke up on time) and just did things that made each other happy. They still celebrated their birthdays and wrote small notes to each other. Although Kibum was hurting seeing Jinki dating others, Jinki was still his too and he was happy and thankful for that.  

On Kibum's 21st birthday, they decided to celebrate together and ended up going to the arcade to play the UFO claw machine games. This was Jinki's favourite and he always, always won toys for Kibum. This time, since it was his birthday- Jinki was trying for a huge monsters inc. cushion that Kibum wanted and after six tries, he managed to win it for Kibum as his birthday gift. Kibum was so giddy and happy and ended up attacking Jinki with a hug to which the elder warmly responded, kissing the crown of Kibum's head wishing him happy birthday. Kibum was happy and content at that very moment although somewhere in his heart, he knew that Jinki would never really be his. 

When they were on their way back home that night, Jinki told Kibum that he was starting to see this new noona called Jungah and that he thought that maybe she could really be the one for him. Jinki said that he was happy being around her and  she made him feel special.  

After a happy day, Kibum heard the tiny sound of his heart shattering to pieces.  

Jinki started to bring Jung ah to their apartment and they would literally make out from the door to his room along the way. It literally broke Kibum to see this right in front of his eyes so he slowly started to spend more time in his room instead of the shared common space. Jinki still made sure that he went to Kibum even after he was with her end of the day but somehow, Kibum just felt like his heart was broken beyond repair. He smelled of her, and it hurt so much to have him so close in his arms yet know that his heart was not his but someone else's. 

Jinki began to notice the little changes in Kibum. The way he locked himself up more often than not and the way he suddenly went rigid when he held him close. This was the first time that Kibum had changed and Jinki wasn't sure what exactly was the problem. Instead of addressing it, Jinki chose to ignore it thinking that it will go away. But as months passed, he didn't realise that he himself was drifting away from Kibum. 

It was their movie night that weekend, but to Kibum's dismay, Jinki had also invited Jung ah to join them. Usually Kibum would watch movies sitting in between Jinki's legs and snuggled to him, but today Jung ah was taking his place instead. Kibum was trying his best to hold the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. While watching the movie, things got even more tense as Jungah popped a sudden question " Jinki, we are dating but why do you always never sleep with me and always leave to sleep with Kibum instead? Don't you love me enough to stay with me?" 

Kibum and Jinki were both taken aback by the question and Jinki- thinking that his reply would be harmless, replied her calmly " baby, it’s no big deal. Me and Kibum -we just do that out of habit since we have been sleeping like this since we were kids". 

Kibum knew that he had reached his limit, the tears that threatened to fall earlier poured down heavily along his beautiful cheeks. " Since we are just sleeping together out of habit, I think it's about time that we fix our bad habits Jinki" Kibum spit the words bitterly in between loud sobs and Jinki was too shocked to react to what was happening in front of him as he watched Kibum lock himself up in his room. 

Jinki didn't know what to do, he was just frozen in place because this was literally the first outburst from Kibum that he'd ever seen and he didn't know how to fix it. The only thing that he knew was that his heart broke when he saw Kibum’s tears, because he knew that he was the reason Kibum cried.  

Ignoring Jungah's comments, Jinki went to Kibum's door and knocked, asking if he could let him in. He doubted that he would let him in, because he could hear Kibums's soft sobs through the door and he was probably still hurting. Jinki felt like his heart was being torn apart just by hearing Kibum’s sobs and all he could do was to face his back to the door and softly tell him how sorry he was.  

Kibum was a mess when he woke up, he was emotionally and physically drained out and his heart was heavy. But he did know that the right thing to do was to walk away before he got hurt even more. He ignored all the calls and the knocks on his door earlier but instead, he started packing almost instinctively knowing that he had to leave then and now.  

He looked at the clock and it was 3am. He opened the door and quietly sneaked out of his room when he guessed that Jinki wasn't inside the house because he had heard him starting his car and leaving. He quickly called for a cab and arrived at his parents' house. He was welcomed by his surprised mum and without saying a word , he collapsed in to her and cried his heart out while she lovingly comforted her only son. After his outburst, he went in his room, and climbed on to the bed that he had shared with Jinki throughout his childhood and teenage years.  Nothing hurt less, everything reminded him of Jinki. But somehow the exhaustion from crying so much led him to sleep despite not having Jinki cradle him in his arms tonight.  

It was a different story for Jinki. After sitting beside Kibum's door and not having any response from him, despite his many calls- he wasn't able to bear the pain throbbing in his chest anymore and he went out for a drink. Jung ah had left earlier leaving them to figure out the situation on their own. Having spending hours drinking alone and thinking about what he had done, he didn't know that he had come back to an empty home.   

Although Jinki's alcohol tolerance was high, tonight he was a little drunk and he opened Kibum's door wanting so desperately to hold him close and comfort him. But he realised that the room was empty. He panicked and opened his wardrobe to find almost half of Kibum’s belongings were gone. It then hit him that Kibum had left. Jinki was devastated and his already broken heart was hurting so much. Terribly exhausted, he fell in to the comfort of Kibum's bed falling asleep to his scent and the feeling of comfort that reminded him of his Kibum.  

Jinki and Kibum both woke up to an empty and cold bed next day, hearts heavy and despite the deep sleep, they were both exhausted.  Jinki checked his phone the first thing and his heart dropped when he saw that there was not a single response to his texts or calls to Kibum. This was the first time that Kibum had ever ignored him and he just didn’t know what to do. He could only think of looking for him in the first place that he could think of – his home. Since Jinki drove, it only took him less than half an hour to reach Kibum’s place. Upon reaching his doorstep, he mustered up all the courage he had to knock on the door just hoping for something positive out of this visit. Kibum’s mom , Mrs Kim opened the door and for the first time ever, he wasn’t greeted with her familiar loving smile. 

nstead her face was glum and full of worries and Jinki didn’t blame her for being that way. 

“Mrs Kim, by any chance- was Bummie here last night?”  She nodded. “ Can I please see him?” Jinki literally begged for a chance to make things right. “ I’m sorry Jinki, now is not the best time. Please give him some time and he will find you when he feels like he should. Kibum is having a hard time now and I don’t think I can let you in now ”. 

Jinki knew that he was defeated. His held head low as he bowed to Kibum’s mother and drove back to his apartment with a heavy heart. When he reached the apartment, his girlfriend was already waiting for him at the door. She saw him and greeted him with a peck on his lips and for some reason, it felt bitter and he didn’t enjoy it. Jungah spent the day with him, doing the house chores , cooking for him and also accompanying him while watching his favourite tv series on Netflix.  

But Jinki felt like something wasn’t right, it wasn’t Kibum doing the chores, it wasn’t Kibum’s cooking, it wasn’t Kibum sitting in between his legs snuggling to him while he enjoyed his TV show. Kibum’s absence felt like a part of him being torn away by force.  He was too tired to push Jungah away or protest but he just remained emotionless throughout the day.  

End of the day, he went to Kibum’s bed seeking that the familiar scent of raspberry and vanilla knowing that it was fading. He was not able to fall asleep without Kibum and he was wondering if Kibum felt the same without him. As he was busying himself with these thoughts, he felt someone snuggle beside him on the bed. He instantly recognised that it was Jungah by the way that she s her arms around him. Her scent didn’t feel homely like Kibum, she didn’t fit in to his arms as perfectly as Kibum. She wasn’t who he needed, he needed Kibum. That’s when he realised that he didn’t even know that he had been in love with Kibum for the longest time. He didn’t know that the Kibum who was right in front of him all his life was the one person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.  He just felt stupid for not realising that he was blindly looking for a love that he already had right in front of him. He was looking for someone that had already been in his heart all this time.  

Although he didn’t know how Kibum felt about him, he knew that he needed to get it off his chest and let Kibum know how he feels about him and how important he is to him. He had to tell Kibum that he needed him in his arms end of the day not out of habit but out of love. He needed to make things right and he knew that he should start now, before it would be too late. For starters, he had to tell Jungah the truth and he had to do it now. He cupped her face and stared right in to her eyes. “ Jung ah, what I say is going to hurt you and I am terribly sorry. When you asked me about why I always end up sleeping with Kibum every day, I didn’t tell you the entire truth. I guess I could call it a habit, but I also needed him in my arms end of the day. I love him and I’ve just taken too long to realise it and I think I have hurt him with my words today. I need to make things right and that’s why I have to let go of you, because I am not the right person for you “ . Jinki watched her emotions shift from surprise to anger and then confusion.  She said nothing, she just shut the door behind her when she left. But Jinki knew that he did the right thing for once. 

Jinki tried calling Kibum once more but it seemed like his phone was not switched off.  He desperately needed a way to get through to Kibum and he knew that he had to face Mrs Kim again.

But He was not going to give up. He wasn’t going to be a coward. 

“ You are back Jinki” Mrs Kim said with a stern face. “ Mrs Kim, I know that you think that I shouldn't see Kibum right now but I swear that I will be able to make him smile.  Please give me a chance to clear up the misunderstanding and if he still wants me to leave, I will leave. “ Jinki saw that she still wasn’t convinced.  

“ Kibum needs me as much as I need him right now, Mrs Kim.  You know more than anything how our emotions depend on each other and how hard it is for us to stay apart from each other even for a day. Nothing has changed since then. I need to see him please.” Jinki was literally begging and he didn’t know that his eyes were stinging for a reason. Tears were now flowing from his eyes without his consent and he realised how much he needed Kibum and how desperate he was to just even have a glimpse of him.  

Seeing how sincere and broken Jinki looked, Mrs Kim’s resolve crumbled and she made way so that Jinki would be able to pass through the door. Jinki instantly hugged her because in his heart, he knew that she loved Jinki almost as much as she loved her own son. She finally returned him a beautiful warm smile that very much reminded of his Kibum. 

Jinki knew Kibum’s house by heart and immediately walked to Kibum’s room and knocked on his door.  He could hear soft footsteps coming towards the door and his heart started to beat nervously as Kibum slowly opened his door. Jinki saw his expression change from shocked to confused as he stood there blankly. Jinki saw him and drank in all of his beautiful features- that he used to see every day but now even just looking at him was making his heart beat in his chest erratically. To Jinki’s own dismay, all that came out of his mouth after all that courage he mustered up to meet Kibum was just a simple “ Hi”.  

 Kibum replied him with a very quiet “ Hi ” and left the door open while he went to sit on his bed. Jinki saw this as a positive sign and followed Kibum and sat right next to him.  The familiar scent of Kibum lingered in the room and it calmed Jinki’s nerves as he started to actually talk.  

“ Bummie, first of all- I .. I’m sorry for being such a jerk that day and for hurting you. I didn’t mean what I said and I regret the words I chose to say” Jinki watched Kibum listen but his head hung low. It broke his heart to see that his Kibum was still hurting and he know that he had to make things right. “ I know this is going to be cheesy and you can cringe all you want but  that night when you left me, I felt like a part of me was gone. I felt like my heart broke to a million pieces. I was and I am still afraid of a life without you...heck I can’t even get through a day without seeing you” Jinki smiled through his words watching Kibum closely for his reaction. But Kibum wasn’t lifting his head yet, he was listening and sniffing but he wasn’t looking at him yet. “That day after you left, I was lying on your bed and thinking if that if there’s anyone who I want to live the rest of my life with, that’s you and you only”. 

At these words, Kibum stopped sniffing and lifted his head to meet Jinki’s eyes.  At that moment, all Jinki wanted to do was to pull him in his arms and never ever let go but he knew that he had to be careful and he didn’t know how Kibum would respond to him. Kibum was looking in to his eyes and his entire soul and Jinki had never felt so exposed and vulnerable as he was right now.   

Kibum was looking in to his eyes with so much confusion and his eyes were pleading, begging for answers.  Jinki didn’t know what exactly Kibum wanted nor did he know what Kibum’s response would be to what he was just going to say to him, but he knew that it was now or never and he was willing to risk it all.  “ Bummie, do you know why I come to you every night? It’s because at the end of the day I want to be where I belong, the place I feel at home, the place that I am most comfortable being at, the place where all my worries just goes away and that’s in your arms” Kibum’s eyes were starting to pool with tears and he was starting to cry but Jinki lifted his chin and looked in to his eyes. “ Bummie, I have been stupid ..I didn’t see the person in front of me all this time. I didn’t know that I had loved you , that you were the one person who was occupying my heart all this time. So please forgive me. I love you more than anything else in this world and I don’t think I can ever live without you so please please come back to me “ Jinki was sobbing now, he was sobbing and he didn’t even realise how much tears he was holding in all this time. 

When Jinki broke down, Kibum took over and held him close. Kibum cupped his face and looked in to Jinki’s tear filled eyes with his own and his beautiful cupid bow lips curled in to smile. “ Lee Jinki, you babo I love you too, I love you so so soo much and I have been in love with you for a few years and yes I want to spend the rest of my life with you too” Kibum then started planting butterfly kisses all over his face and kissed away his tears one by one.  Jinki stopped crying and gave Kibum his beautiful eye smile. “ You are kissing me all over my face but avoiding the place that I want your lips the most” and when Kibum turned red, he captured Kibum’s lips with his own and sparks flew and the magic began. 

 Jinki realised that he had kissed so many men and women in his life and nothing felt this right, nothing felt this magical and nothing felt this special.  They both broke the kiss when they needed air and laughed looking at each other's swollen lips. Jinki pushed Kibum on his bed and started kissing him again and they ended up cuddling and sleeping in each other's arms comfortably, both content with their beautiful happy ending.