[CONTENTID1] CHAPTER 7 [/CONTENTID1] 

[CONTENTID2] 9 March 2018 [/CONTENTID2] 

[CONTENTID3]

TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of PTSD, DEPRESSION, EATING DISORDER

You spent the entire night at the hospital. Sehun is rather quiet the whole time three of you are together in the room. After having his late dinner, Jihoon took meds and went to sleep leaving two adults to themselves. It was awkward to start a conversation so you just sat by the bedside silently while Sehun took his nap on the couch nearby. It was only morning that you left the bedside, taking your coat from the hanger. Being a light sleeper, the ruffing sound woke Sehun up. His lazily eyed you from the other side of the room.

He sit up, fixed his hair and stretch his body a bit, an then he walks over to you. "Let me sent you home." In a very low voice.

"It's okay. I'll get the-"

"Just...let's go." It is still morning, he didn't want to start n argument this early. Now that he is extending some form of kindness, you refuse. Wonder what this women really wants.

The drive to your home was quiet. Unexpectedly, Sehun open up a conversation.

"I don't feel its right to keep your identity from Jihoon." He starts. What are you supposed to say?

"But, I'm not ready to deal with that situation. If you give some time, I'll figure it out." This time Sehun's tone is soft. Neither of you are looking at each other, but you can both understand what he meant. Any parent would have a hard time to explain it.

"It's okay, you don't have to. Its better that he don't know me." You are not lying. When Jihoon learns the fact that you are his mother, he would want to be closer to you, then he would found out about all the things you been wanting to hide. You are just not the mother he would want.

Sehun frowned. Then why bother get close to Jihoon? He is too struck to question your intention.

"If you have no interest to stay around then leave. Stop getting too attached with him. You will only hurt my son." 

He misunderstood your intention of course. It doesn't matter though.

.....

The next day...

It was your lucky day. You barely managed to escape the hospital without being caught by Sehun's mother. After spending a night at the hospital, Sehun is nowhere to be seen since he brought you there. You wonder if he even took any rest last night, judging from his sunken eyes. He probably didn't.

You walk to the nearest bus stop. While waiting, your phone rang.

Seulgi

"Hey, why you skipping your appointment today? Are you okay?" You pull the phone away to check today's date. Yesterday's event had made you miss your supposed appointment.

"Something came up. I'm at the hospital though, can I still come?"

.....

A food tray place right in front on you make you question the doer.

"Eat. I know you haven't." She take her seat before grabbing chopsticks and dig in happily. Seeing you not making any move to eat, she makes an reprimanding face.

"Okay, okay I'll eat, Seulgi." You make a move to grab the chopstick.

"Good, I am about to shove food into your mouth myself if you don't." You chuckled.

Bae Seulgi.

You don't think you could survive if it wasn't because of her. As a psychiatrist, she had given her best to help you. Despite you being a totally reserved person after the incident, she managed to get through you and become the girlfriend you never had in your life. It's been awhile since you met her. Your condition has improved a lot after working at her sister's school, so you been getting less check up sessions. Besides, she can't be around as much due to her demanding work. Still, you always give her updates.

"You told me you met Jihoon. How is he?" She was so excited that she talked with a mouthful of food and ended up choking.

"Yah, eat slowly..." After calming herself down she ask again. A sweet smile appeared on your face as you start talking about your one and only son.

A genuine smile, Seulgi has never seen it from you before. It seems that you have been going through some good times lately. She couldn't be more happier. Truth to be told, she has treated many patients, but you had the biggest impact to her as a doctor and as a human being itself. Its sickening to see how selfish people be when it comes to make things go the way they want.

As you continue to talk, she keep listening with full interest. The young doctor is happy for you and will always pray that she can see you smiling all the time because it fits you.

"He even gave me a Mother's day card..." You teared up, with a happy smile.

" Really?! Jihoon just knew you for a short time...Must be the mother and son connection." Seulgi snapped her fingers.

Is it? 

To be honest, Jihoon warm up to you fast. He hugs you everytime he meets you, sharing every of his little secrets. The boy must trust and adore you so much for someone he just met. As a mother you feel touched, your flesh and blood who seems far from reach is actually holding you dear to his heart.

"Hey quit daydreaming. Finish your food and we'll go for your health check up." With Seulgi you could never skip meals, she will make you eat.
 

....

Seulgi clucked her tounge at your weight. You lose 2kg more. It wouldn't be much if she's on a normal weight, but for someone 5' 4 only weight 40 kg it is very dangerous.

"You need to eat healthily, Jae. You can't just depends on the vitamins. Its not enough." At that you just look down to your lap, sighing. You can't say anything about it because you just don't feel like eating anymore. You don't want to justify. It is what it is. You tried to take meals regularly, but somehow you always lose yourself. Eating is no longer a need for you, and your body doesn't even react to hunger anymore.

You sound like in a brink of death. Maybe, you are.

"Please, Jae. I don't want you to get even sicker. At this rate, your heart could just stop beating at one point. And I don't know what I'm going to do without you." Your bestfriend look at you meaningfully. This time she show her true concern, her eyes are sad.

What are you going to do if you already give up on living.

Faces of Jihoon, Jongin, Baekhyun and even Sehun appeared on your mind. How would they react to your death? Will anyone cry?

"You met Sehun too right. How does he react?" You looked up. Those depressive thoughts keep bothering you, you are literally going in and out of the conversation.
 

Sehun...

If Jihoon adore you so much, Sehun is completely opposite. He detest you. It hurts when someone you love to death could hold so much hatred towards you.

"He... hates me.." Your voice break and you just couldn't hold on the tears anymore. You sobbed uncontrollably.

Sehun