It had started raining; and as I sat in the plush sofa seat, my feet laying across the arm rest, I watched Sung Gyu struggling to close the windows against the drizzle. He was in a bathrobe, but the wind was so harsh that it flapped against him, exposing a little more than I desired. He was beautiful, really. With the heat of his touch still lingering on my skin, I recalled the past couple of minutes in my mind. His fingers, his lips, his breath in my ears, gentle and raspy as he dragged me to the ultimate moment of pleasure that I’d never felt before.

“Looking at your face, I can tell you’re thinking about something very naughty” Sung Gyu’s voice suddenly floated into my mind, and I looked up to see that he had finally closed down the windows and was now gazing at me, fixing his robe.

I smiled. “Are you going to do naughty things to me?”

“Do you want me to?” He raised his brows challengingly, and my cheeks heated up. God, I would have wanted him to; very much so. I couldn’t seem to get him out of my mind. But then again, we had plenty of time for that. But right now, I wanted to cuddle; and we had so many things to talk about.

So instead, I opened up my arms to him, and he smiled this softest baby smile that a part of me literally died inside. He approached me in lazy steps, and I made room for him in the sofa. He fell in beside me; I threw my arms around his neck and he buried his face in my shoulder, his damp hair brushing against my skin.

“Mm, did I tell you that you smell fantastic?” He mumbled against my skin; his lips brushed my shoulder making me shudder. But no, I had to focus. It was important.

“Hm? You do too, yourself” I breathed in the sweet lavender scent of his hair. “But you know what we’re going to do now?”

He lifted his head, and by the way that he looked at me, I could imagine what he was going to say. “Naughty things?”

“God, you’re ridiculous” I rolled my eyes and moved away from him. “No, we’re going to talk”

“Talk?” He perked up. “What about?”

“I don’t know...” I tilted my head thoughtfully. I thought about everything he’d told me that afternoon, with the drizzle of the fountain on my skin, my heart beating in a rhythm so new that I couldn’t recognise; and his words...nobody has ever...

“Tell me nice things” I told him, my fingers tracing unknown patterns on his skin. “lots of nice things”

He laughed; a surprisingly pleasant sound echoing in the quietness of the suite. “Well, the only nice thing I can think of right now is something very, very nasty, so I’ll pass”

I pouted down at him.

“Okay, okay” He sighed and moved away. I gazed at me for a long moment then, his eyes tracing me as if he was trying to create an image of me in his mind. After a while, he moved closer and pulled me into his arms. “I love you” He told me and let out a deep sigh. There was silence for a long moment, during which I revelled in his warmth. With my ear pressed against the base of his shoulder, I could hear the beating of his heart; gentle but uneven. It was a lullaby for me. I closed my eyes and held onto him, hard.

“And I was scared...” he added, his voice so small and uncertain. It was at that moment that I pulled away from him; concerned.

“What...what about?”

He smiled at me, a sad, sorrowful little curve that clenched my heart. “I was so scared that I would lose you”

Something snapped inside me, just like that, and I could feel that pain coursing right through me; something painfully familiar. I realised; he’d had the same fear as I.

“Sung Gyu...” I reached for his hand, and he grasped mine, gazing down at it as he held it so close.

“You know how bad I’m at this...” He chuckled mournfully and met my eye. “I tried to tell you so many times, but still I didn’t know how. I knew...I knew exactly what you were looking for, but it just wasn’t enough...I didn’t know if I could ever be enough for you...and I thought...” He sighed. “I thought I’d lose you to someone better”

“But why?” my words escaped before I could halt and question them.

Sung Gyu met my eyes. “Because...I don’t know, Saera, I tried so many times and I was so bad at it and you just...” he shrugged. “You just didn’t...seem to realise it”

I opened my mouth to speak, but I had no words to respond with. In the quietness of that strange rainy night, so many memories of our past came rushing back to me; and soon I was connecting the dots, as if they were all individual little stories and events which led me here, to this moment, and I had never known. I had never realised it.

“Do you remember that time at the year-end talent show?” He went on, a glassy sheen in his eyes as he recalled a forgotten past. “When we sang-,”

“Lucky” I completed for him, and he nodded. “Yeah that...” He mumbled, and then started singing the chorus of the song. His voice so close, reverberating in the air around me and dragging me back into more than ten years of our past. I joined in with him, my voice raspy and breaking at the odd places. I wasn’t any good at singing as he was; and Sung Gyu had, myriad times, tried to help me. But then one day he said that one needed to be good at just one thing in life and didn’t try anymore. What he thought I was good at, to this day, was a mystery. We both laughed as we reached the end of the chorus as my voice broke. “You sound terrible” He said, laughing, and when I pouted, he pulled me close and kissed me on my head. And then a long moment of quietness ensued.

“Remember how the entire school speculated and you just...?” I reminded him after a while. His face turned red, an embarrassed smile on his lips. “I was...horrified. Like I said, I’m just so bad at these things”

He just laughed it off. That’s what he did back then. And then I remember him telling me in front of everyone, shrugging it off like it was nothing; ‘I’d be the last person to like you’, completely denying the claim. I didn’t mind it either; we both didn’t acknowledge that. But it would be a lie to say that the speculation ended right there. We had still heard the rumours and stories here and there; apparently even the teachers rooted for us. They all thought we’d go to college together. But he went to arts school while I went on to study Languages. I bet we broke a couple of hearts back then.

“But I really wanted to” He added, bit his lip and met my eyes. “I wanted to tell you. But I was just...scared”

“Why?” I laughed, laying my head on his shoulder. “It’s just me!”

He smiled this one disarming smile of his, everything just froze inside me. “It’s because it’s you”

I went quiet at this, contemplating his words. Perhaps, we were both just scared and trying to preserve what we had. Perhaps, the only barrier that had kept us apart for the longest time was what we cherished, loved and protected the most. Our friendship. And I was right.

“Until tonight, that’s all I could think about” He started, his fingers unconsciously threading through my hair. “It’s a big decision, Saera, changing our arrangement completely; to go from best friends to...” He sighed. “So many things would change...the way we see, the way we speak, the way we...touch, it’s a big decision. One that I thought I’d never be ready for” He sighed, and I laid a hand on his chest, rubbing his warm skin. “But then it was even harder to watch you getting heart broken again and again. I hated myself for letting that happen to you, and I...”

“It wasn’t your fault” I reminded him.

“I know, but-,” He sighed again. “I just hated to see you not getting what you deserve, not a single soul seeing you for the brilliant creature that you are”

I put an arm around his neck, his gentle words imprinting themselves in my heart. “I’m not much...but you do...and only you”

“You’re not much, yes” he admitted. But when I looked up at him, he kissed me on my temple. “But for me, you’re everything”

I pulled him closer at that point and kissed him gently on his lips.

In the quietness that followed, I thought back to everyone I had thought I loved, everyone I thought to have loved me. All of a sudden, their words sounded empty for me. Woohyun complemented, yes, so many times. He loved it when I accompanied him to his events or dressed just the way he preferred. It was almost the same with everyone. I was beautiful when I knew I’ve made an effort; I was kind only when I’d actually and knowingly done something good that they preferred. But Sung Gyu, he always had something nice to say about me. He called me beautiful when he knew that I needed it the most; but not in the most obvious ways. Sung Gyu was unromantic. He was so bad at doing these things and had to make an extra effort for them. It must be difficult for him, really. But in the most subtle ways, he appreciated me, he complemented me, he made me feel special and beautiful in his own ways. It was I who had failed to realise that.

“I’m so happy” I told him then and buried my face in his shoulder. “So glad that you told me. So glad that you made that decision, so glad that we are here”

“I’m glad too...that things turned out this way” he muttered, sincere concern in his tone. “I thought it wouldn’t go just as well....” He turned to me then, and he slowly lifted my face with the tips of his fingers. “Saera I realise that its...” He hesitated and bit his lip. He was quiet, gazing at me. When I grasped his hand, he continued. “ I’m sorry... if it was too sudden, if I brought you into this too soon...”

I narrowed my eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“You know” he chuckled awkwardly. “Just in the morning we were just best friends...and all of a sudden we are...”

“But we’ve liked each other all along” I reminded him and gave him a smile. “And I’m okay...in fact I’m happy, I’m ecstatic!” I changed my voice just for the emphasis, that made him laugh.

“That’s more like it” He kissed me.

“And I’m sorry...for the mean things I’ve told you” I told him when he pulled away.

“Like when you called me ugly? That my singing made you feel sick?”

I pouted and nodded in return. “You don’t have to remind me” I told him as I drew patterns on his skin, not meeting his eyes. God, I was embarrassed, although I’d never meant anything I said. I must have sounded like a grumpy child, really. “You’re not ugly” I replied, hoping that it made things any different. “And I... I love your singing”

“I don’t mind, really” He chuckled and fixed my hair. “You can tell me anything...i don’t mind”

I smiled and ran my hands around his neck. It was a comfort, to be with him, in his embrace, his warmth on my skin, his breath in my ears. He felt like home; he was the only way that things made sense to me.

As I held onto him, he quietly caressed my back, soothing me, almost sending me to sleep. But I didn’t want to. I wanted this moment to last forever.

“Sung Gyu?” I called, and slowly raised my head.

“Hm?”

“We’re done talking. Can we go back to doing naughty things now?”

He made this little sound of surprise, which was so adorable, and I couldn’t help myself that I moved in and kissed him. He strengthened the kiss. He made it bolder, longer; he made it a little more. Soon, he had me laying underneath him, resting my head on his arm. When I looked up, I could see a delicious golden patch of his skin where the robe had moved away, and I felt the desire stirring alive once again inside me.

“You gorgeous old thing” He told me and smiled as I kissed the tip of his nose.

“You’re so bad at this” I reminded him.

He laughed softly, and I stared at him fondly as his eyes turned into crescent moons, his lips remaining in a precious smile. “And you’re so beautiful” I told him before I could stop myself.

He stopped laughing then, his expression perceptibly changed. First, he appeared embarrassed, smiling shily as he looked away from me. Then I took his face in both my hands and kissed him, stronger, trying to convey everything I felt about him that I couldn’t possibly put into words. When I pulled away, he just looked mesmerised; in his eyes was a shimmering glassy sheen, like he was in tears. “My girl...” He whispered as he caressed my face with his knuckles, almost as if he was still in disbelief. I felt my heart constrict. This is how he’d felt towards me, all this time. He’d been mine all alone.

When he kissed me again, I let him feel every part of me, everything that I’d hidden away, everything that I’d feared. I realised, as the strings of our hearts coiled through one another, we shouldn’t have feared the truth after all. In the end, we would have found the way to each other; if it was bound to happen, it would happen. We were never there to leave but to complete each other, to show what we could be, to bring out the best versions of ourselves. We needn’t stop being the best friends we’d always been. We could remain the same. We could be ourselves, and perhaps, something a little more.

As his lips lingered down the curve of my neck, I tilted my head. My hands found the knot of his robe and allowed it to fall apart. I watched him as his eyes changed in desire, as the robe covering my shoulder was peeled off, the cold air kissing my skin, as his hand s down my waist and disappeared underneath. Then I closed my eyes, trusting him completely, giving into him entirely, and allowed the night to continue.