Drowning it out

"Take a seat, please." 

Jinyoung uttered as he walked ahead of the older who just finished taking off his shoes and is following him towards the living room. He again gestured for Jaebum to take a seat on the couch and he could only feel somehow relieved when the older did as he was asked.

While Jaebum was sitting down and settling himself on the left side of the couch, Jinyoung took this chance to check on him, and actually see how much the older has changed through the number of years which had passed. His way of clothing seems to not have changed at all. Jaebum is still in his usual loose white shirt and denim pants, and of course the bucket hat didn't go unnoticed. He knew how Jaebum loved wearing one which is why he used to always give the older one as presents. This one which Jaebum was wearing is different though and is not one of those he has given the older; which is actually relieving since Jinyoung isn't quite sure how he's supposed to feel if he sees Jaebum still wearing something which he had given him. 

"Thank you." Jaebum said in a soft and low voice.

When he looked up, only did Jinyoung notice the changes in how he looks. His eyes were still the same, having the same distant look in them but are now mixed with other things which resembles to weariness. The semi-dark circles around those narrow eyes could support his observation. Jinyoung also noticed a stubble growing on the underside of the older's jaw and chin. That made Jaebum look a bit more mature than he is supposed to. Jinyoung can't say that Jaebum looks significantly bad... maybe just tired or a bit worn out? Well, Jinyoung doesn't know, okay? How would he know such things about Jaebum's current condition when they haven't spoken to each other ever since... ever since they broke up? He could still remember it- that night when he decided to end things with Jaebum. He was the one who asked for it, but it's not as if Jaebum has given him much of any other choices.

This is not the right time to think about it, Jinyoung. He told himself before shaking his thoughts off his head for the meantime and decided to deal with the current situation he's in.

Jinyoung didn't sit down. He decided against it (at least not yet) and figured he should offer Jaebum something to eat or drink first. He glanced at his watch to see what time it is, only to read that it's already fifteen minutes after midnight. It's really late and he knows, receiving a guest in this ungodly hour is not appropriate all the more if you have a boyfriend and the said guest is your ex. Jinyoung knows, alright. But he already did let Jaebum to go in. And besides, would it be better if he shut his door on Jaebum's face? He thinks not. 

Pulling on the hem of his inner suit as if getting rid of the non-existent creases and folds on it, Jinyoung cleared his throat before asking. "It's quite late but... have you eaten already?" Jaebum nodded three seconds after. "Perhaps something to drink? I cannot give you nothing." 

To this, Jaebum pursed his lips. "Well, okay then. Do you have coffee?"

"I can make one." Jinyoung answered while pointing his finger to the direction of the kitchen. "I'll be back with your coffee in five minutes. Wait here and..." He turned to look at the tv. "You could turn this on and find something interesting to watch. Some late night show or something." 

But Jaebum only shook his head. "I'm good. I'll just wait for you here."

"Okay." is all that Jinyoung said before walking towards the kitchen and make coffee as he has told Jaebum. 

Although he wanted to spend a longer time in the kitchen, the coffee was done in just four minutes so with a deep breath, Jinyoung just walked back to the living room where Jaebum is, still seated on the couch. When he gave him the mug, Jinyoung sat on the chair adjacent to the couch and clasped his hands together, crossed his legs and put his hands over his knee. 

"I don't think I've congratulated you, already." Jaebum was first to break the silence. The older's sentence caught Jinyoung off-guard but then Jaebum was back to talking and this time he's wearing a genuine and happy smile. "Congratulations, Jinyoung. Happy graduation day."

"Oh. Well, thanks." His response sounded uncertain. Like it isn't something Jinyoung is used to say. But maybe it's just because he is not used to talking to Jaebum anymore. Clearing his throat again, Jinyoung then spoke. "I didn't know you were back. From Japan, I mean."

Jaebum took a sip on his coffee before he answered his question. "I've actually came back a year ago." What? Jinyoung's mind asked. If he came back a year ago, then that means- "I wasn't able to finish the whole of the training. I was sent back here after failing on a few of my subjects and my scholarship was withdrawn. So I needed to transfer school." He what? "I did finish my studies, at a state university, so no need to look at me pitifully, okay?" That came with a short laugh. 

"I didn't know about that."

Again with the laugh. "I don't think anyone knew. And actually, I prefered to keep things that way. I don't want my failure to be broadcasted for everyone to know."

Jinyoung just sat there, staring until he remembered that there's something he needed to ask. "I just think I should ask you this... what brought you here? It's just all too sudden, don't you think? You coming here?"

He saw how Jaebum pursed his lips as he kept his head down for a couple of seconds. When he looked up, those eyes were directed at him again. "It wasn't really planned, to be honest. I've been here for more than a year already but I didn't even dare to think of going near you and attempt to have a talk." Those fingers fiddled around the mug. Jinyoung's eyes were staring at those. "But a while ago, while I was at the bar with some officemates, I saw you, with them and I knew you were celebrating. I just thought maybe... just maybe this time, I could actually get the chance to talk to you after everything that has happened. That is why I followed you back here." Keeping his head down again, Jaebum went on with a softer voice. "I'm sorry."

Jinyoung wasn't sure about the things which he needed to say, and the things which he could say. But he tried to speak. Softly, he talked. "I'm not really making a huge deal out of this. But... I don't think this is really necessary. Years have passed, we both now have separate lives of our own. I now have Mark."

Jaebum lifted his face and he could see a small smile drawing on his lips. "I know. I did say I saw you, right? You were with him so it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you guys are together. And besides... I sort of expected that to happen the moment you broke up with me. Mark was very much in love with you. No one could disagree to that." He heard a deep intake of breath from the older before he speaks again. "I just wanted to say sorry. Since it's something I didn't get the chance to say before you left that night. I am sorry, Jinyoung."

The talk ended like that, with Jaebum saying sorry and Jinyoung saying it's all in the past.

Although he's a bit shaken up because of what happened and how sudden it all was, Jinyoung just thought of it as him and Jaebum getting the closure they both needed.

*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*

A week passed since that night. 

And Jinyoung haven't mentioned a word about that encounter to Mark or to any of their friends. It happened only once. There's no need to make a whole discussion out of it. It's not like they're seeing each other on a regular basis. So, for Jinyoung, there's no need to tell Mark about it.

But maybe he has spoken too soon. 

"Wait here. I'll come and usher you inside once the HR is ready."

Jinyoung is here in BioTech where he's having his first major job interview. Being a fresh graduate, Jinyoung uses this chance to be up for grabs for different companies which can grant him a decently paying job. He needs the salary since he recently has told his parents that he's not going to be their responsibility now. Jinyoung should start taking responsibility of his own self. Mark on the other hand also insisted on helping him out and even told him that they could move their plan earlier than what they've talked about. Mark asked him to move in with him, a few days after his graduation but Jinyoung declined since he already made up his mind that he'll only move in once he has passed the board exam and he still has less than six months before that. 

"Will do, ma'am." Jinyoung just said as he kept his satchel bag on top of his lap, watching the lady walk inside the HR's office.

While waiting, he opened his phone and he saw a couple of messages from Mark, all of which are encouraging. Jinyoung just smiled and replied to his boyfriend's messages, not forge