Suddenly his face felt wet, he knew he had started crying again, and through the blur he could see Minho crying as well. But Jinki didn’t know what to say, didn’t know if he even should speak. Minho’s words seeming more like a statement, something Minho just wanted, needed, to tell him. Jinki knew what he wanted to say, he knew how he felt, that wasn’t the problem, it had never been the problem. He just wasn’t sure if he wanted to have such a relationship, which only led him to ask himself: what was this relationship?

They loved each other, of course they did, if they didn’t they wouldn’t be here right now. Neither were sure if they had broken up, but neither really cared all that much. What mattered to Jinki the most was if this relationship was safe.

It had already proved it wasn’t, it was far from safe, even their friends were in danger. But something still brought Jinki back to Minho, wishing he were in the younger’s arms, wanting to call him his boyfriend. Or even someday soon, his husband. But would they even make it to that? Would they live to see that day? The thoughts made Jinki cry harder, bringing one hand to cover his face.

“Jinki.. Are you okay?” Minho asked carefully.

Jinki took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind and forget the depressing thoughts.

“If… If we date.. Will we be okay?” Jinki found himself asking, “Will they be okay?”

Minho looked down, sighing to himself, “I don’t know”

The answer hurt, but Jinki was glad that Minho was being honest.

“It’s never been easy having a life outside of work. I’ve learned to be careful but.. I guess I’m still not careful enough” Minho looked dejected and Jinki gave his hand a squeeze.

“Kibum said…” Jinki paused, “You’ve never walked into danger like that before… For someone else”

Minho smiled softly, “I guess I haven’t... We never used to worry about the people who left, we just said it was for the best and moved on” His eyes m