[2015]

“What’s puberty?”

“I don’t know. It’s probably not important”

Inside Out

🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

If Jungkook had a full body check up with the most advanced medical equipment there was, it would’ve detected disturbances on his hormone and neurotransmitter levels. His symptoms were overall high production of sebum, pimples, mood swings, a growth spur and constant hornyness. Diagnosis: puberty was hitting him like a truck.

Being a teenager was already hard enough and starting high school could be petrifying, but as Jungkook headed into his sophomore year, there were a few things he learned along the way that helped him lean into school and into developing himself: coffee was no longer his mortal enemy, but his biggest life support (if you're not living like Lorelai Gilmore, then you're doing it wrong); joining lots of clubs was a great way to meet new people and have fun (plus he got tons of free food at events); efficiency was starting an assignment the night before it was due and still getting a A for it; last but not least, Twitter was a great place (for a wannabe emo boy) to vent when it all got to be too much. All useful life lessons.

Jungkook and Minho had started dating a couple of weeks after the start of the academic year. Kinda. Sorta. Maybe. On school grounds at least. But not in front of other people. Definitely not. The thing was, neither Jungkook nor Minho were out yet, but that wasn’t such a big problem (or that was what Jungkook tried to convince himself with partial to no success).

They experienced the haze of first boyfriends together. In the beginning it had been easy, mostly non-malicious cheek kisses and quick pecks when nobody was around. It didn’t give Jungkook the heart-racing, palm-sweating, breath-stopping factor that he was looking for, but it was okay because maybe he was not ready for those yet (at least not without the excuse of being at the back of a dark lit cinema room).

After Christmas break (during which Jungkook didn’t see Minho once because the older had traveled to his grandparents’ for the end of the year celebrations) when classes started again, Jungkook was feeling more daring. He was growing restless with the pacing of his relationship and he had never been known for having high levels of patience in the first place.

Rugby season started soon after and their first win was secured by Jungkook, which led him to want to celebrate. He waited for everyone to be out of the changing room before he made his move on Minho. Months of build up ual frustration (due to perpetually being on first base) made him press the elder to his locker to get the proper make out (Frenching and hopefully more) he deserved (you go baby boy! you go!).

Thereafter they started making out on every possible (hidden) place within their school grounds. Minho was a good guy, maybe that was exactly his problem. Minho was too good, too proper, too afraid to let himself loose, too passive. He always waited for Jungkook to initiate things and even then he would stop if it bordered on moving past a certain amount of contact. Only once did his fingers brush Jungkook’s and the elder was so startled by the strong reaction he got out of the younger that he simply would not dare do it again (to Jungkook’s utter despair).

Nevertheless, the feeling of holding hands (underneath the lunch table), of hugging a little bit longer after practices (not nearly long nor often enough), of stealing kisses while being hidden in plain sight had a certain appeal. The prospect of maybe being seen (of being found out) was exhilarating. A testament of how young Jungkook was, no adult has time for sneaking around.

Jungkook’s sanity was continuously running down the sink a little bit everyday that passed. The second to last drop before his cup overflowed, however, came unsuspected during an early spring day.

“Kookie! Kookie! Kookie!” Hoseok came down the hallway yelling and threw himself on top of his best friend “Do you know what day is today?”

Jungkook started to profusely sweat. Did he forget another one of Hoseok’s pets’ birthdays?

“I can start applying for colleges today!” Hoseok was too excited to notice the sigh that escaped Jungkook’s lips “There are all this great universities here and like my mom would love for me to stay in Busan but there is this one school in Seoul that has the best possible program to ever be conceived by a human brain and if I don’t get in I might as well give up dancing all together because what even is the point and-”

“Hobi, slow down!” Jungkook wiggled out of Hoseok’s embrace and continue “There are signs of punctuation for a reason you know. Breathe. Take pauses”

“I just simply cannot!” he shouted “Don’t you get it?! This is the moment I’ve been waiting for since like ever! All these dance competitions I won, they mean nothing! This is the ultimate test and I have to get in. This is the only reason why I’m making through this last year of high school”

And then it hit. This was Hoseok’s (and Minho’s) senior year. They would graduate by the end of it. They would leave. They would go to college. Quite possible in different cities.

That was the first time Jungkook actually felt fear coursing through his veins. His best friend (and sorta-boyfriend) would move on to college in a different city, would make new cool adult friends with whom he could drink and party and Jungkook would be left behind as nothing more than the baby friend who had done none of those things yet. He was worried they would drift apart, lose touch and only acknowledge each other with a nod once they saw each other on the streets of Busan during holidays.

Never had Hoseok received such a strong hug like the one Jungkook gave him to chase those fears away.

-------

Summer break was fast approaching when Hoseok requested a sleepover. He came prepared with a set of freshly (illegally) download movies and tons of snacks so full of chemical dyes and preservatives that it would certainly result in both of them developing a stage 4 stomach cancer out of nowhere in the next 4-6 years (at least they wouldn’t have to pay their college student loans. Silver linings).

“I got you Sneakers and Cheetos and Worms and-” Hoseok listed out while counting down on his fingers.

“Hobi, who’s dying?”

“What?” Hoseok rushed to say “Man, I should not have trusted that WikiHow article on how to break news to people”

“Oh my god! It’s you” Jungkook gasped “Can I keep your stack of Disney and Marvel DVDs? How much long do you have? Can’t we do anything to stop it from happening?”

“You think I’m dying?! And your first instinct is to steal my stuff?!” Hoseok sounded offended.

“Inherit!” Jungkook said as he placed his hand over his heart “To keep something of yours while you suffer in purgatory” he blinked his doe eyes all innocent but smirked like the little devil that he truly was.

“Purgatory? Really? I’m clearly going to heaven” Hoseok pouted.

Jungkook only scoffed. “What are the news you needed to consult a WikiHow article to tell me about?”

“Oh, yeah” Hoseok paused and cracked his knuckles as if he was about to fight, which was his clear form of display of uneasiness and nervousness “It said to first cook the person's favorite dish. I can't cook for . That's why I got you all the crap you like. Then it said to have a pleasant dinner, but you already ruined that by claiming my DVDs. And lastly it said to gently break the news over dessert..so stuff your mouth with these…” Hoseok said as he opened a Sneakers bar and pushed it inside Jungkook’s mouth “ and let me tell you that... I got my acceptance letter to that university in Seoul!!"

They both go up from the bed. Hoseok with expectant eyes and Jungkook with an open mouth. A silent heartbeat later they were both screaming their lungs out, hugging and jumping up and down.

“Now I just have to apply to the scholarship and once that-” Hoseok stopped jumping and cradled Jungkook’s cheeks before proceeding "Why are crying?"

"Because I'm so happy and proud of you" Jungkook paused "But I'm also sad. So sad"

"Don't be sad" Hoseok went for a comforting tone of voice "Cause sad backwards is das, and das not good"

"God, your jokes are awful!" Jungkook whipped a tear away “Maybe you should move on to corny pick up lines and apply those to literally anybody but me”

“Huh” Hoseok nodded “I might do just that”

“Those college people won’t stand a chance” Jungkook let out a sobbed chuckle and his shoulders sagged “Too bad I won’t be close enough to see it”

"Closeness has nothing to do with distance, Jungkookie"

"When did you become such a sap" Jungkook tried to go for bratty to cut the worried tone in Hoseok’s voice. "We'll live far apart because the world is a jealous that can't handle this much constant awesomeness"

-------

A week later, inside a janitor’s closet Jungkook told Hoseok’s news to Minho in between kisses.

“And you’ll be going to college soon as well, right?” Jungkook probed while he ran his tongue up Minho’s neck getting both a moan and a nod from the older “So like, that’s why I think we should go public. Cause like, how else will your future college friends know that you are already taken?” he murmured while biting down on the other’s ear (Jungkook had always tended towards being a little jealous and a bit possessive).

Minho went still and pushed Jungkook away from him.

“Jungkook” his tone of voice told the younger all that he didn’t want to hear

“What? Are you gonna tell me again that we gotta wait?” Jungkook’s tone was bordering shouting levels.

“Shush. Can you keep it down?” Minho asked.

“No. I cannot!” He was going full on drama king “I’ve had it with this hiding bull. We either go full out or don’t at all”

“Jungkook...I-” Minho stuttered “I’m not ready”

“Then I guess you’ve made your choice”

On a rational level, Jungkook knew that every person had their own time and that one cannot force another to come out. But he also knew that he deserved better. So he bent over to get his backpack, adjusted his clothes and hair and left the closet. Slamming the door for good measure. Wordlessly breaking up with his first boyfriend.

--------

Jungkook got home feeling the pricking of tears behind his eyes, but he would be damned if he let them fall. He tried to find some stress relief in slamming every door on his way to his room.

“Do you happen to know how to make doors, young man?” came his Mama’s voice from the kitchen, but Jungkook just growled and moved towards his room “Hey! I raised a polite young man, not an uncontrollable dog! Come here right now!”

Jungkook groaned and dragged his feet to the kitchen where he found his mother painting her nails on their breakfast table (something his father despised and that his mother continued doing regardless) where he also plopped himself down, manspreading while maintaining the I’m-a-rebel-I-don’t-sit-right posture.

His Mama looked 3 seconds away from yelling about how important it was to sit right and that he would thank her for it when he was old and still had a functioning back, thus he looked away, already preparing a snarky comeback that would render him dessertless for a week. What he didn’t notice, because he wasn’t looking at her, was the change on his mother’s demeanor upon examining his features.

“What is it? There’s something going on. I know it. I’m your mother. Tell me what it is.”

“Mama, please. Not now” he gritted.

“Tell. Me. What. It. Is.” she countered.

“God! You wanna know what it is?! Fine! Hobi is going away by the end of the year and I broke up with my boyfriend” The shocked face on his mother made Jungkook’s temper tantrum fire up “Yes mama. I like boys. And I had a boyfriend. Cause! I. Like. Boys. And if that’s not alright with you I’ll just ask Grandma if she’ll still love me and if she’ll take me in”

All Jungkook’s anger had turned into sobs, tears and shaking shoulders. When? He didn’t know. He pressed his palms to his eyes and continued to cry. This was the day when he would not only lose his best friend and (ex)boyfriend, but also his family.

“Oh, my baby” his mom cooed and hugged him “Why would that not be alright with me? I’m sure there were less dramatic ways to get this off your chest, but. Apples don’t fall far from the tree, do they?” she chuckled while still holding him close and the movement of her torso made him sit straight and look her in the eyes.

“You’re not disappointed? You- I-” just then did he realise what he had done. Jungkook continued with a small voice “This was not how I was planning to come out to you.”

“But, honeybunch. You don't need to come out to me; the same way your brother didn't need to ‘come out’ to me as straight. I'm your mama, I know you. You'll always be my golden boy." She his cheeks before continuing "Now go wash the dishes cause I just got my nails done and I don't wanna ruin them. And then you can tell me all about this ex of yours if you want to"

-------

“This is dream crusher. He protects me from having unrealistic goals”

The Good Dinosaur

🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨

Namjoon’s sophomore year in college was the year he experimented with things (and people, but mostly things).

His first victim was his hair, prompted by Yoongi who had been traumatized (his words) by the military's requirement of keeping short locks at all times. Therefore Yoongi’s first act of non-conformity to what The Man expected of him was changing his hair color to wine red, but as it was still growing back, much of the hair dye would have been wasted were it not for Yoongi forcing Namjoon to assume a vibrant red tone as well (what are best friends for if not for joining you in questionable decisions).

Post-military Min Yoongi had been even more of a rebel than he had ever previously been. His parents realized he wasn’t going to give up on his dream to study Music Production and stopped bothering him about it, which unfortunately also meant they were not gonna lift a finger nor open a wallet to help make his dream come true.

Not to panic though. Yoongi had a plan - that consisted of him barging into the Music department dean’s office, showing her his portfolio e demanding her to give him his place at the university back plus a full scholarship. He managed to get his spot back and a 70% scholarship. For someone who had bulled his confidence throughtout that meeting, the results Yoongi got were impressive.

Namjoon had already arranged their living situation. His parents weren’t rich, but he was an only child who had always been their happiness and pride, so when he asked them to rent an apartment with two bedrooms they didn’t even blink. The building was classic, six stories tall, with white and blue walls, two huge trees in the front yard with benches scattered around. Apartament 4A was perfect for the two best friends.

However, Yoongi was not one for a sugar daddy arrangement (unless he was the sugar daddy which would still take some years to be feasible) so he busted his off as a delivery man to pay for his tuition and other expenses.

Throughout the year, Namjoon and Yoongi’s friendship bond tightened, they would argue sometimes which is only normal when you move in with someone, but it would be quickly settled. Every person is their own world and they have specific habits and getting used (or not) to them can mean the end of friendships.

Apartment 4A’s traditions were quickly established: Mondays were reserve to getting drunk at The Eve for the least amount of money two broke college students could possibly spend; Tuesdays were for laundry; on Wednesdays Yoongi was working overnight; Thursdays were cheap Chinese delivery night with cuddles sessions (that Yoongi would deny the existence of) while they watched Netflix; Fridays were for cleaning the apartment up and weekends varied depending on the period of the month, on if they were working and on if the friends still had money on their bank accounts.

On weekends when they had nothing to do, lots of time to kill and cheap chemicals at their disposal they would experiment with bleaching, perming and dying their hairs. After all, if the hair is already fried dead, what else is there to loose?

Turns out, one can lose their hair after it’s fried dead. Namjoon would find that out later that same academic year during summer vacation when he jumped with his recently touched up (for the 8th time) hair into a pool with a tad too much chlorine in it. His faded pastel pink hair broke and assumed a weird green-ish blue color. Fortunately, Yoongi was already planning on going blue haired which prompted Namjoon to properly dye his blue and get it cut as well (it turned way too short on the sides and way too blunt in the middle, but at least it was still in his head).

-------

The beginning of the second week of March met a counting-down-the-minutes-until-Easter-vacation-Namjoon. Just this one week and than another week and then a month of freedom would be bestowed upon all tired college students. A blissful April before they came back for a 2 week review period and then (tam-dam-dam-dam) finals week would be upon them.

It was a Wednesday, which meant Namjoon was left alone to his own devices to wallow in self pity for as long as he would like (a win ladies and gents).

The thing was that Namjoon was having a mid(student)life crisis (that point when one is halfway through college and the ending feels like it's never coming) on top of an existential crisis that left him without the desire to move, much less read the articles and textbooks he had to. Hell, Namjoon was so deep in his pit that not even a non-school related book would’ve caught his attention and Namjoon behaved almost as if he read for a living.

The year prior, many books found their way to his hands due to his association with the Speak Yourself Book Club, but only after he quit it (which was the right choice, since Chungha still attended) did he read something that actually shifted his entire being. And only now did he realize that he was only trying to be edgy and cool, trying to tick all the boxes on the being-a-man-checklist. Only then did Namjoon realize he had spent more time talking about some of the social injustices in the world without actually doing anything in his power to help lessen those problems.

Grasping the reality of not having helped a soul, a plant or even a single crab since he came to college, Namjoon felt disconnected. He felt like he was just a worthless speck of stardust in the universe. Worse even, Namjoon felt like he was an expectator watching life follow its course, watching the people around him but not relating to them.

He felt angry. Worse even, he felt alone.

-------

The witching hour was fast approaching when Yoongi finally got home that night to find Namjoon spread out like a starfish on their living room rug as if he was an offering in a summoning pentagram. Yoongi remained unbothered, if anything he released a deep and long exhale (that he was 100% conscious he was holding) like his soul was (finally) being released from his body (thank you sweet baby Jesus).

Namjoon however would be found not-guilty of purposely neglecting his friend’s entrance on the grounds of plausible deniability, since he had his concealing headphones on, playing songs on an endless repeat that didn’t allow him to hear his own heartbeat (and he may or may not have drunk a bottle of soju).

Thus explaining the surprise Namjoon felt when a kick was delivered on the left side of his ribs. If someone was robbing the apartment and meaning to kill Namjoon on the process, at least he wouldn't have to deal with his problems anymore. But alas, he wasn't so lucky. Upon opening his left eye (while pouting), Namjoon saw the familiar face of a ginger Min Yoongi and grunted in acknowledgement.

“Why are you listening to the Whale Sounds playlist on Spotify?” Yoongi looked like he was about to collapse on himself from tiredness.

“Because I am a whale” Namjoon answered closing his eyes again.

“You’ve been getting thicker-” Yoongi began.

“Hey! Commenting on people’s bodies is highly-” Namjoon interjected, brows furrowed and eyes still closed, before his friend finished his sentence.

“Spare me.” Another kick was delivered, this time on Namjoon’s left leg in a clear sign for him to make some space for Yoongi to lay down beside him “As I was saying: You’ve been getting thicker but comparing yourself to a whale is already an exaggeration, Joon-ah”

Namjoon pouted as he moved closer to their couch. “Remember that Marine Macrofauna class I’m taking?”

Next thing Namjoon felt was Yoongi’s long index finger painfully poking between his ribs. He knew his hyung liked to talk to people looking into their eyes, but he hadn’t had the energy and he was feeling a little bratty. The pinch he felt on the soft flesh of his underarm made him open his eyes and turn his face to find Yoongi laying down beside him and blankly staring at him.

“Could you speak Korean please?”

Namjoon sighed in defeat.

“That class about the cute big dorky animals in the oceans, you know like turtles, dolphins, rays, whales and the likes...?” Yoongi acquiesced, therefore Namjoon continued “Today’s class was about whales, their eating patterns, how they use the ocean currents during their migratory periods and the different species…” Emotions threatened to overcome Namjoon when he remembered what he was about to tell his older friend.

“Why is that making you emotional?” Yoongi sounded a little dazed “I thought you liked those slimy things”

“I do, but…” Namjoon thought he sighed (he sobbed) “There’s this one whale (now he couldn’t deny that he was full on sobbing)... It’s out there in the middle of the vast oceans, singing softly and lonely because no matter how much it shouts it won’t reach other whales because they’re singing in entirely different frequencies. And that’s so sad”.

Drunk Namjoon either turned into Touchy-Feely-Namjoon or Cry-Baby-Namjoon, and that night Yoongi got the pleasure of experiencing the latter as Namjoon started properly crying.

“I would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties of your life” Yoongi said as he petted Namjoon’s arm. “Or in this case, of this poor whale’s”

“You are the worst at this comfort thing”

But Namjoon laughed a little and rubbed his sleeve on his runny nose and leaking eyes.

“Last soju bottles on the fridge?”

“Yes please”

The last soju bottles were in fact 4 soju bottles and 6 beer bottles. Which, by the end of the night, were all consumed.

Once they were both sitting and nursing more empty bottles than it would be advised, considering it was still a Wednesday and they both had classes come morning, Namjoon returned to his speech albeit slurred.

“Like. I call it a whalien because it’s a whale that’s like an alien to its own people and-” He held his finger up in the universal language of 'wait a sec', burped and continued “-and it keeps on shouting this endless signal in hopes someday it will reach the other side of the Earth but it won’t matter because there will be no one to understand her” he said it all in just one breath.

“Why would you tell me that?” Yoongi was crying as well “Why wouldn’t you suffer alone instead of bringing swag to my eyes?!”

“Because!” Namjoon said as Yoongi clearly went to hit his chest but ended up falling into it and being hugged. “You asked!”

“I did not!” Yoongi’s voice sounded muffled “And why are you so damn huggable, you bastard care bear?”

Namjoon gasped before he (quite afrontedly) pointed out “As if you don’t like my hugs and cuddles!”

“Stop cuddle-shaming me!”

“You are cuddle-shaming yourself!”

Drunk Namjoon’s brain went to sleep that night feeling like he could connect to this whale on a molecular level, singing his lonely song in hopes someone would hear him one day. But he believed in his Hertz, they had already worked. They brought his brother from another family, Yoongi, to his life.

Thus, Namjoon, much like the whalien 52, would keep on trying, keep on giving his all, keep on singing his heart out.

He would find his people (and maybe also his person) one day.

-------

[2016]

A bunny can call another bunny 'cute', but when other animals do it, that's a little...

Zootopia

🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

Looking back, Jungkook should have known that a jawline like that could only belong to an evil person. He should have trusted his inner Taylor Swift who just screamed at him that he was trouble as soon as he walked in. But Jungkook didn’t and now he was lying on the cold hard ground with no one on whom to place the blame but on himself.

In his defense, the ending of 2015 had been troubled. Not for himself, but for Hoseok. Which is to say that it hit Jungkook stronger than if it had been a direct blow. The thing was Hoseok didn’t get the scholarship he’d applied for, apparently the university had gotten too many requests and the last of the resources weren’t even enough to provide a full scholarship, leaving someone at the music department with a renewed 70% discount.

Without the full scholarship, Hoseok had no way to start attending his dream university. His mom was barely keeping things together, whatever he earned from the part time job he had throughout high school had always been used to pay some of their utility bills and he would not subject himself to go after his father to ask him to take care of the costs of a higher education (albeit for what he knew, his father had remarried and was in a far better financial situation).

“That’s not so bad, Jungkookie.” Hoseok was smiling, but his tears were falling without interruption “I’ll be here with you for another year and then by the time you get to college there’ll only be one grade year between us. I’ll be closer than ever before”

“But that’s not how it’s supposed to be! That’s not fair!” Jungkook was crying harder than he ever had before. “You always say not to focus on what’s going wrong, hyung. You always say there’s always a way to turn things around, to find the fun. But how?! This is so not fair! You deserved that scholarship much more than anyone else” Jungkook seethed. He was angry at himself, feeling guilty for ever having wished that Hoseok would stay in Busan. The universe had heard him. This was clearly all his fault.

“But that’s just life” Hoseok sobbed “And-” he paused to wipe his nose and all the fluids leaving it back inside “And they said they’d keep my spot for next year. I just gotta work extra hard to save money this year. And- and-” he smiled brightly, putting the sun to shame “I’ll make them give me that scholarship next year. You can trust me, Jungkookie”

Jungkook was feeling pathetic. He was the one supposed to be comforting his best friend and somehow he was the one whose body was being rocked back and forth in an attempt to make him stop his sobbing.

The bond Hoseok and Jungkook shared was ineffable. They became friends over Britney Spears and after that they became best friends when Hoseok shared his family’s background with Jungkook and when Hoseok’s life’s dream didn’t work and Jungkook told him all about Minho they became BFFs: bestest friends forever (or as Hoseok would put it ‘I’m your BFF: broke friend forever). All they wished was that their friendship would last long, till doomsday. And it would.

That year Hoseok worked harder than ever before. He had two jobs during the week: his 9 to 5 one being at a local supermarket chain and a night job at a dance company teaching hip hop to all ages. Jungkook was the first one to enroll in his friend’s class both to support him and to actually learn how to dance.

-------

Back to the reason why Jungkook thought he was developing a heart condition: the owner of the jawline (of pure evil), of thick arms, of double pierced ears, of the most perfect smile (so perfect that in a couple of years he’d be accused of having veneers), of eyes shaped like a crescent moon when he smiled. Him. One year older, cooler, hotter and taller than anyone in the school. Im Jaebum.

Jaebum was a senior who transferred after Jungkook’s junior year had already started, which would have sufficed to make him the talk of the school, but that was too little for him. Upon joining the students body, he showed his artistic side on drama club, refused joining any sports because he was too cool for that and still had every girl on school thirsting over him. He was often seen with the senior valedictorian: the power couple of the school, him with his whole self, her with her commanding aura.

At first, Jungkook couldn’t care less. A hot straight guy would never be the focus of his time and energy. Besides, ever since Jungkook came out he started getting hit on with a certain frequency. He was beautiful, he was funny, he was a jock and his body was starting to look more defined and less soft (he was still plenty cute though). Jungkook could have turned into a boy quite easily, but he didn’t want to risk missing his true love like that (because of course he believe in the whole high school sweethearts love story). Hooking up with people was not ideal for his Disney fairy tail infused mind, but at least he was getting some type of action on a regular basis.

On an ordinary spring day during film class, - one of Jungkook’s favorite classes because he would either spend it outside filming or inside on a cubicle with huge headphone editing his videos onto his Golden Closet Series: Being loud, proud and out of it! (the name was long but it carried all Jungkook’s feelings on the subject) - Jungkook’s brain had been unloading an extra shipment of (what he liked to call) brainstorming ideas (but were actual daydreams) for the next video he wanted to produce when Jaebum approached him.

“Hey”

“H-hi?”

“So...you’re cute” Jaebum stated as Jungkook blushed “And I heard this rumor that you’re quite a good kisser...”

One of them winked, another’s brain froze. Guess who’s who.

“And...I broke up with the live action version of Bellatrix Lestrange - even if she says she was the one who did it which is not true” Jaebum took a moment to brush his bangs back and Jungkook was sure he was doing that on purpose to flex his biceps (damn his treacherous gut who responded to the elder’s provocation) “That’s not the point though. The point is that you’re cute and I’ve been noticing you here on film class and I’ve been curious about trying it out with guys for a while...”

“Wh-what? You’re in film class too?” Jungkook’s brain had to attach itself to the one piece of information which wouldn’t let him spiral into the void. The most sought after male student in their school had been noticing Jungkook and he-???

“So cutie pie, do you wanna make out?”

After their first kiss (which was incredibly less awkward than the one Jungkook shared with Minho), Jungkook and Jaebum (who also went by the couple nickname of JJ Project, a terrible nickname) started seeing each other. They went on dates. They held hands everywhere they went. They made out. They grooped each other. They were burning with hormones. And Jaebum always made sure to show Jungkook off, which the latter quite enjoyed seeing as his last relationship had failed for being hidden. Jungkook was enjoying the feeling of being a trophy.

His biggest mistake.

They weren’t dating as they hadn’t had that conversation about being exclusive and meeting each other’s parents. Jungkook convinced himself it was alright, they had been making out for a little less than a month (27 days, 14 hours, 6 minutes and 33 seconds, but Jungkook wasn’t keeping track of it). However, they were always public about it and maybe the younger should have paid more attention to that detail, but he wasn’t even paying attention to the fact that him and Jaebum only had film club in common and nothing else to talk about when they were together, which resulted in them often reaching 2nd base when alone.

Jaebum called on a June afternoon.

“Hey.” where was Jungkook’s ‘cute’? Why was Jaebum sounding so stiff? “We need to talk”.

Jungkook was too young and too in love with the idea of being in love to realise how serious those three words were.

“Great!” Jungkook let his heart take free reign “We could go see Zootopia and then we could go to the park behind the school field…”

“No, that’s not-” Jaebum cut himself before he ended that train of thought as Jungkook whined on his side of the line “Okay cutie, sure. That’s fine”

--------

The earthy smell of soil. The damp smell of moss. The cut grass aroma. The smell of life emerging green and urgent. The fragrance of spring, warm as sunlight, engulfed them on their spot beneath the starry spring sky on the hidden part of the park behind their school. Jungkook was memorizing all of this to, one day, tell it all to their grandkids.

There was a hand on Jungkook’s hand, a sloppy kiss on his lips followed by a tug on his sweatpants and there was a hand inside his boxers. It felt slightly awkward and a bit confusing.

Jungkook could probably have gotten off faster if he did it to himself and in that moment he was pretty sure he wasn’t doing a much better job with Jaebum’s either, but they would have other opportunities to learn each other, to learn together and to improve.

Or so he thought.

The deed was mediocrely done. The awkward air on full swing.

“We need to stop doing this”

“O-okay” Jungkook blinked, taken aback “It’s hmm...it’s okay if you’re not ready for yet. I can wait. We can wait. We can-”

“No, Jungkook” Jaebum’s tone was final “We need to stop this” he said motioning between them “You’re sweet and cute and fun.” Internally Jungkook begged not to hear a but “But… I know you expect us to be boyfriends and I’m not ready for that. I'm not ready for a relationship yet. So I'm setting you free."

Once again, Jungkook implored not to hear the next words coming out of Jaebum.

“It’s not you, cutie. It’s me”

Thus Jungkook's distaste for being called cute was born.

-------

The said he needed to ‘break up’ (loosely applied term) with Jungkook because he wasn’t ready for commitment, yet he started dating a girl a couple of days afterwards.

Jungkook felt crushed. He felt stupid and like he had been some sort of experiment to be filed away as a failure and forgotten about.

Why did Disney channel teach him that the solution to all his problems was listening to his heart?! The dear little organ would remind him of situations like that one time he went to Starbucks and the barista said 'Enjoy your coffee’ and he answered 'Yeah, you too’ making Jungkook think about that for 12 hours straight.

The thoughts in his mind once he got home that night were far worse. Jungkook would be stuck thinking about them for way longer. He hadn't been planning on sleeping that night either way, so that was cool.

Jungkook felt selfish, but good God, was he thankful Hoseok (with ice cream) was just one call away. He was spooned to sleep that night and he’d soon be okay with a little help from his friend.

[2016 - end of the summer break before the beginning of the new academic year]

Let me know, what's beyond that line, will I cross that line?

How far I’ll go - Moana

🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨

Every year on the last Friday of summer there was a special event at The Eve to celebrate the end of summer and to give hope to students that they would survive another academic year once September started all over again.

It could be thought of as a gathering, a wake for hope, a rite of passage or even a competition. But in reality it was just a (slightly smelly) bar full of (stinky) broke college students who had to be inside said bar while the biggest (most disgusting) and longest (20 hours long) rave ragged on.

If one succeeded (and survived) this proof of fire (that sets aside wheat from chaff), one would be granted the Golden Jester (angelic sounds please): the special discount card that allowed people to get in for free throughout the week and that granted 50 cent pints of beer on Mondays.

The attendees of the event could have 2 breaks of 30 minutes each to go outside, see the sun and grab lunch and dinner at the nearest (greasy) food truck. A grace bestowed by the new manager of The Eve, whom Namjoon's not so sober mind thought resembled Yoongi quite a lot (he kinda had a point) and who wasn't a heartless, money-driven, cold-blooded capitalist - as Yoongi complimented Minseok himself while hugging him and yelling to the masses that they were gummy smile brothers (this happened after a couple of rounds of flaming Jägerbomb shots).

After eating their weight in greasy fries and questionable hamburgers for dinner, Namjoon and Yoongi dragged their tired bodies back inside the club. 9 more hours to go and they would proudly exit The Eve at 6am owning their Golden Jesters.

They headed for the seating area in hopes of getting some sleep on the couches (old souls can't party for 20 hours straight without a nap) only to find one last single spot available.

"Go ahead hyung. You need it more than I do" Namjoon looked after everyone he cared about, be them younger or older than him.

"Nonsense" Yoongi scoffed "You seem like you might fall and I ain't spending my strength in getting you up from the floor".

Yoongi pointed at Namjoon and then at the couch in a way that could be read as 'obey your hyung'.

"But- but you...Yoongi hyung"

"I didn't serve this country and almost died several times to get from you, Kim Namjoon. Sit. Now" his hyung deadpanned.

Namjoon hated when Yoongi played the "vet" card on him, but he knew better than to argue about it.

Before he even got comfortable on the couch, Namjoon had a lap full of Yoongi. That's where they differ: Namjoon wasn't good with displays of affection, though he gave off all the soft vibes of Ice Bear from Bare Bears he struggled with being physical (even platonically) whereas Yoongi was the embodiment of a cat. It might be hard to earn his trust, but once it was earned he would stroll straight into the person's computer, sit on top of their keyboard, give them a look of 'Why do I keep a hooman like you if you're not even gonna give me my rightful cuddles', get his cuddles while looking utterly unimpressed and slightly disappointed (but not surprised) with the quality of said cuddles only to get off the space he'd just invaded once the 'hooman' started liking the action.

"You're hot and kinda cute" the brunette girl next to them said as she eyed them up and down "Are you guys open minded about threesomes?"

"I am. This big guy tho…"

"Why can't a girl just find two hot boyfriends with whom to fulfill her pegging fantasies?!" The young woman said, resting her chin in her hand and turning her hunting gaze towards the dance floor.

Namjoon had to snort. It was an involuntary reaction to this obviously hot woman who could get whatever she may desire being so upfront about her kinks while assuming they were a couple and eye ing the daylights out of Yoongi.

“Are you two not a couple then?” the brunette asked turning back to them.

“Absolutely not” Namjoon shivered as he answered.

“We did make out that one time…” Yoongi said smirking and winking at Namjoon, who shivered again.

“Will you never let this dark point in our shared story ever die down?”

“Never!” Yoongi said as he turned to the woman sitting by their side “I know how uncomfortable it makes him feel” he turned back to Namjoon and added “Plus, I dare you to say it wasn’t a great make out session”

“Geez…” Namjoon sighed, he knew it to be true, therefore couldn't deny it. It had been objectively a good make out, but felt weird and wrong for it to have happen with a person he considered as his brother “Will you ever not brag about your so called ‘tongue technology’?” he huffed.

“Read my lips" Yoongi said as he made his lips move without emitting any sound, though the word was crystal clear "N E V E R!”

“What does a girl need to do to experiment that then?”

"First, she's gotta introduce herself. I'm Min Yoongi"

"Kim Hyuna. Enchanté"

Yoongi started his sophomore year not wishing (as strongly) that he was a pet rock.

---

Author Notes:

I’m using the September till June academic calendar.

I swear Namjoon is not an alcoholic but I wouldn't bet money on Yoongi.

Also, we go full speed ahead with the Lil Meow Meow agenda.

Did anyone notice JK’s pattern in men? I’m not saying Namjoon fits all his requirements, but that’s exactly what I’m saying.

P.S.: I’m actually obsessed with JJ Project, give it a listen will you? I imagine Hoseok feeling lost about how to reach his dream after he got denied of the scholarship while listening to Tomorrow, Today ~turn the subtitles on for maximum devastation.