1.  when i met you

Waiting to be called out, Chaeyeon fiddled with her name tag as she nervously stood with her fellow WM trainees. Fixing her hair and microphone, she breathed in deeply, trying to slow down her racing heart. The fact that Produce 48 seemed to be her last chance finally dawned on her.

As she was lost in her own thoughts, 4 other trainees walked into the backstage area, immediately catching her attention. While they all seemed intimidating, one girl in particular stood out to her. Chaeyeon didn’t like to judge people based on their looks, but she’d be lying if she said this girl wasn’t beautiful. 

Her looks captivated Chaeyeon. Her glistening eyes and her brown hair that framed her face drew Chaeyeon in. She had the kind of aura that commanded everyone’s attention. 

In fact, she would go as far to say that this girl even slightly resembled Red Velvet’s Irene, but she had a different kind of beauty; a more innocent and youthful look. 

From across the room, Chaeyeon watched as the girl kindly helped the other trainees stick on their name tags. She really didn’t know what it was, but something about the moment just warmed her heart. 

As her eyes drifted away from the girl and to what she was actually doing, Chaeyeon finally noticed what entertainment agency the trainees were from.

So, they’re from Woollim, huh?

It was funny because although Chaeyeon knew that WM and Woollim had a strong rivalry, she couldn’t bring herself to feel competitive against this girl. 

Maybe it was because of her beauty, or maybe it was because of the warmth she made her feel. She really couldn’t tell.

Turning around and facing the entrance to the stage, the girl bit her lip nervously and exhaled deeply, as Chaeyeon attentively studied her. Despite her own worries, she couldn’t take her eyes off of the girl who seemed to be just as nervous as her.

Eyes drifting down, Chaeyeon finally read her name tag,

Woollim Entertainment

Kwon Eunbi

Kwon Eunbi... who are you Kwon Eunbi? And what are you doing to me?

2.  when i heard your name

Chaeyeon couldn’t stop herself from shaking as every agonising minute she spent standing there among the other contestants killed her. Waiting anxiously to hear Lee Seung-Gi call out the name of IZ*ONE’s 7th member, her last strands of hope were slowly slipping away as she prepared herself to hear any name but her own.

Turning around, Chaeyeon glanced at Eunbi to see the girl calm and composed, as she always was. She could see the desperation in her eyes though, because after all, they both put everything on the line for this. If things didn’t work out, everything they worked so hard for would come to an end.

“Here’s the trainee in 7th place,” she heard Lee Seung-Gi call out as she turned around to give him her undivided attention. 

“This trainee was born with superb leadership.”

That could be me. I’ve tried my best to show off my talents and leadership is one of them....right?

As he stretched out the announcement, Chaeyeon slowly zoned out and closed her eyes. Heart racing as her arms were shaking, she prayed that he would say, “Lee Chaeyeon.”

“She received 250,212 votes in total,” he teased.

Inhaling deeply, she squeezed her eyes shut as the whole concert hall went silent. 

“It’s Kwon Eunbi from Woollim!”

Chaeyeon’s heart stopped beating for a second and her eyes instinctively made their way to the girl who instantly broke down in tears. She could feel her strength decreasing as she badly wanted to go hug the girl, but couldn’t get past the other trainees.

She knew that Eunbi would debut, there was no way she wouldn’t, she thought. While she was disappointed that she didn’t hear her own name, she couldn’t hold back the tears of happiness for the other girl. 

To be frank, she had expected her to receive a higher ranking, but to debut at all was a dream come true.

As Eunbi made her way towards the front of the stage, Chaeyeon desperately wanted to hug and congratulate her, but the girl walked right pass her, not even looking back. 

Her heart broke a little, but it didn’t matter, much. Even though Chaeyeon wanted to cry and feel sorry for herself, she held it in as all she could think of was Eunbi. 

In that moment as she watched the short girl in the centre of the stage, it was like the world stopped for a second and all eyes were on Eunbi.

All she wanted was to be with Eunbi for even a little bit longer. Was it too much to ask for?

Wait for me, unnie. I’ll come with you.

3.  when i watched you nearly kiss her

Chaeyeon smiled to herself as she watched her fellow members enjoying themselves. They had all just wished Yuri a happy birthday, live in front of thousands of wizones. 

As the girls snacked on the chocolate hearts that decorated the cake, Eunbi offered one to Chaeyeon. Panicking however, she shook her head, immediately regretting her decision.

Pretending nothing happened, she instead laughed at how cute Yena and Hitomi were as the older girl fed the latter some of the chocolate hearts. 

Slowly, her eyes drifted back to Eunbi as she glanced at the older girl. It was her birthday about a month ago and it was certainly a night to remember.

The good ol’ days, huh?

Smiling to herself, she tried to hide the obvious joy that she was feeling, conscious of the eyes watching her.

Snapped out of her trance, she heard the leader complaining. Curious, Chaeyeon glanced over to see her doing something odd with Sakura, who had a chocolate heart in . 

As she leaned forward to get a closer look, she couldn’t prepare herself for what she was about to see. 

From across the room, she watched as the two girls leaned in towards each other, almost seeming like they were going to kiss. 

Chaeyeon didn’t know why, but she felt her heart instantly sink. Like as if someone had ripped it straight out of her chest. started getting dry and as much as she wanted to look away, she couldn’t. Powerless and stunned, she stood there confused, not understanding why she was feeling this way. 

For some reason, she desperately wanted to speak up or go over there and push them apart. But she had no idea why. 

As Sakura retreated and the other girls yelled disapprovingly, Chaeyeon followed suit and scolded them playfully, trying to hide the pain that she was oddly feeling. 

Acting like the event never happened, she looked away from the pair and cleared , putting on a fake smile for the camera. As the pair laughed cheerfully with each other, Chaeyeon could only glance at them with pain in her eyes.

Eunbi unnie, why….why are you doing this to me?

4.  when i saw only you among thousands

“And the Song of the Year award goes to….” 

Chaeyeon could feel her heart beating out of her chest. Looking to her right, she noticed Eunbi next to her and badly wanted to reach over and hold the nervous girl’s hand. 

She knew how much this meant to her. This was the final Awards ceremony they would attend as a group of 12 and even though a nomination was nice, to actually win the daesang would be surreal. 

As she gazed at Eunbi though, all seemed right in the world. It was like no one else was there, no crowds of screaming fans, no groups of idols. 

Just the two of them. 

Fixated as she studied the leader’s face, Chaeyeon was suddenly brought back to reality when she heard,

“IZ*ONE! Congratulations!”

As she heard that, it was like her heart stopped for a second. She never expected it to be true, but suddenly her dream was becoming a reality. 

Motionless, she barely even reacted, instead watching as Eunbi’s face lit up with joy. Slowly, the girl got up from her seat and covered in disbelief. To be frank, no one really expected it from them. 

Turning to Sakura, Eunbi hugged her tightly, once again pulling at Chaeyeon’s heart. Further sprinkling salt in the wound, she watched as Eunbi grabbed Sakura’s hand and they walked up to the stage, with the other members following suit. 

Sensing Nako buzzing with excitement next to her, Chaeyeon glanced down and hugged her tightly, hiding her pain behind a fake smile. She was supposed to feel happy, but after watching the two eldest members together, she just felt annoyance. 

Arriving at the stage, the 12 girls stood in a line, with Chaeyeon ending up even further from Eunbi at the end of the line. 

“2, 3, Eyes on me!”

“When we become one, everyone pays attention.”

“Hello, we are IZONE!” they all introduced, before letting Eunbi take the lead.

Conscious of the millions of eyes watching them, Chaeyeon made sure to keep up a front and put on her brightest smile. They couldn’t know what was going on deep down.

“Wow, I can’t believe we really won this award. I don’t think any of us were expecting this,” Eunbi said humbly. Chaeyeon felt her heart soften again as she watched the older woman modestly accept the award.

“Firstly, I’d like to thank the producers who gave us this song and helped us do the best we could. I’d also like to thank all the members, you girls work so hard and I’m very grateful for that.” Eunbi said into the tall microphone, glancing at every member but Chaeyeon. 

Gazing at Eunbi from the side, Chaeyeon started tuning out to what the girl was saying, entranced by her bright smile. It was funny because although they stood in an arena full of thousands of people, the only person she could see was her. 

Sensing the end of her speech, Chaeyeon snapped out of her trance and paid attention to Eunbi’s final words.

“Lastly, I’d like to thank our WIZ*ONEs. As much as it our award, it also yours. Thank you for always supporting us, we promise to keep working hard in these last few months we have with you,” Eunbi concluded.

Last few months we have with you.

As Chaeyeon heard those words, her face instantly fell as she was reminded of their temporary time together. Even though it had already been 2 years since they first met, time went by so quickly and it felt like it was only yesterday that she had met the older girl. 

She wasn’t ready to let her go, but it didn’t seem like she had a choice.

5.  when i wasn't fast enough

Chaeyeon stood motionless as she held her jumper in her hands, waiting in line at the airport.  The 12 girls were about to fly back to Seoul to begin promotions for their final comeback. Throughout the past few months that they spent in Japan, Chaeyeon couldn’t stop thinking about their coming end. 

Is this really the end of us? Will I ever see her ever again? 

With her airpods in and GOT7’s ‘Look’ playing, Chaeyeon watched Eunbi from the other end of the line, as she usually did. She noticed that the girl was looking sad as she stared down at the plane tickets in her hand, almost glaring at them. 

Mustering up the courage to comfort the girl, she reached to pull her airpods out of her ears and walk up to the leader. Before she could do so though, she was stopped in her tracks as her fellow member, Sakura beat her to it and approached the girl first, earning a cheerful smile from the leader. 

Somehow, Chaeyeon had become oh so familiar with this kind of situation. She knew it all too well.

Once again, she was left to the side, watching as the pair laughed at jokes that she didn’t understand.

While Eunbi was previously spiritless, her mood was suddenly brightened when Sakura came into the picture. Chaeyeon would be lying if she said it didn’t hurt. 

Feeling uncomfortable, she turned away from the two girls, retreating back to her shell. As she put her airpods back in and readjusted her cap, she sulked in line, crossing her arms and hugging herself.

How do you make me smile so brightly, but cry so loudly?

6. when you finally saw me

Standing outside their dorms, Chaeyeon tried her best to hold in her tears. Today was the day. The day they all dreaded. The day that came all too quickly. 

The day they would disband.

Having already said goodbye, Chaeyeon stood there shaking as she watched the other members leave in their own separate cars, going their separate ways. The past 2 and a half years felt so surreal and she couldn’t believe it, she didn’t want to believe it, but it was so. 

It was the end.

As always, her eyes were immediately drawn to Eunbi as she observed the girl for one last time. The former leader was hugging Yujin and Wonyoung as they prepared to leave in Starship’s car. She could tell the girl was trying her best to put up a front, but was really falling apart. 

As she let the two maknaes get into the vehicle, she tearfully waved goodbye and turned to the three japanese girls. Watching Eunbi hug Hitomi and Nako, her two other babies, Chaeyeon once again felt her heart warm up at the sight. 

But then Eunbi turned to Sakura and hugged her tightly as she tried her best to cheer the Japanese girl up. Chaeyeon couldn’t help but feel a surge of jealousy again, but what was the point. 

This was the end. 

The fact that she wouldn’t see Eunbi again hurt more than seeing her with someone else.

As the girls prepared to leave in their van, Chaeyeon looked around and realised that there were only a few of them left; Minju, Chaewon, Eunbi and herself. 

Staring at Eunbi, Chaeyeon felt her heart fracture and tear itself apart. She wasn’t ready for this, any of this. 

She wasn’t ready to meet Eunbi. 

She wasn’t ready to fall in love with Eunbi. 

She wasn’t ready to let her go. 

What she would give to just press ‘pause’. But it wasn’t possible.

As the sudden realisation hit her, Chaeyeon finally broke down and let the tears roll down her cheeks. 

Hearing soft sniffles, Eunbi turned around to see the younger girl with her head down looking at the ground. Smiling, she walked over and tenderly lifted the girl’s chin, holding her face in her hands. 

As she slowly the girl’s hair and wiped away the tears from her cheeks, Eunbi softly cooed, “Hey, don’t cry. It’ll be okay. I’ll text you everyday, don’t worry. And we’ll see each other again too, this isn’t the end.”

Sniffling, the younger girl weakly requested, “U-Unnie, please don’t forget me.”

“Chaeyeon-ah, don’t you worry,” Eunbi reassured, “I can never forget someone like you.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

As Chaeyeon stared into Eunbi’s eyes, it was like she finally got the pause she asked for. It felt like home. The world stopped for a moment and the only thing she could see was Eunbi. But wasn’t she always?

“Unnie, we have to go now,” called Chaewon.

Sighing, Eunbi wiped away Chaeyeon’s tears. “I guess this is it, huh? Don’t cry Chaeyeon-ah. Work hard and make me proud, okay? I’ll always be here and in here,” she said, pointing to Chaeyeon’s forehead and heart. Listening attentively, she nodded rapidly.

Hugging the younger girl tightly, Eunbi took a deep breath, 

“Lee Chaeyeon, let’s meet again when the flowers bloom.” 

Standing next to Minju, Chaeyeon silently watched as the older girl got into the car and waved at them from behind the window. As she waved back at Eunbi for the last time, she quietly whispered to herself,

“I’ll never forget you, unnie. Because all I see is you.”