“do you see the stars there?” wheein points at a trail of stars, tracing the shape it makes. “that’s orion, my favourite constellation. orion was given away by zeus and poseidon as an infant, and he became a great hunter. he fell in love with artemis, the moon goddess, but his brother, apollo, didn’t approve of it and told gaia, the ancestral mother of all life. gaia then sent orion and scorpius to a battle in which both of them died. zeus placed orion in the winter sky and scorpius in the summer sky so they couldn’t see each other and would not fight with one another ever again,” wheein explains. “constellations are pretty cool, huh?” she says, mostly to herself than to yongsun. 

“when did you learn all this?” yongsun is surprised at the amount of knowledge wheein has. 

“when hyejin and i first moved from jeonju to seoul, we had nothing much except for each other. we were like lost souls who were wandering about in an entirely different world, unsure of what to do or where to go next. i missed my hometown a lot, and the stars at night were the only things that didn’t change after i left jeonju. it was the one constant amidst all the chaos, the stars gave me comfort ; they seemed to shine their brightest whenever i was drowning in dark thoughts. just knowing that somewhere out there, there is someone looking at the stars too, and maybe they are broken, maybe they are lost, just like i was,” wheein smiles softly. yongsun finds herself wanting to hear more of wheein’s soothing voice. the way her husky voice echoed through the quiet night, how yongsun could feel that she was smiling while talking about the things she likes, it leaves yongsun wanting more. “i must sound crazy right now,” the younger chuckles to herself. “who even talks about stars this way?” 

“you’re the first person i’ve met who appreciates the stars this much. it’s amazing, really. i wish i knew how to appreciate them when i needed them the most, but i guess it’s too late,” yongsun sighs softly. “you’re special, wheein. you’re different, the way you think isn’t like anyone else i’ve ever met before,” 

“is that good or bad?” 

“it’s refreshing,” yongsun says simply. 

wheein closes her eyes, appreciating how yongsun doesn’t feel the need to fill the silence. maybe it’s because they are lying so close to each other, or maybe it’s just because wheein has started to realise she loves everything about yongsun, but her presence makes wheein feel so much warmer. her heart feels like this for the first time in her life, so full of life and warmth, an unexplainable sense of comfort when she’s with yongsun. yongsun feels like home. yongsun makes her want to be a child again. she makes wheein want to go back to those innocent, childish days that wheein misses so much. those days when she had no worries, when she was happy. 

she finally realises, why she hasn’t been feeling anything until she met yongsun. she didn’t have no emotions, she was just in pain. she was in so much pain for so long that it numbed her to the core. it was the worst kind of pain one could ever feel, not even knowing that it was there because she had gotten used to the throbbing of her heart that seemed to dull over time. 

and now, she’s happy, so happy with yongsun yet the pain doesn’t go away. it’s different now. it’s a beautiful pain, one that washes over her like waves crashing onto the shore. it’s a pain that she embraces fully, letting it crash against the walls she has built for years and although slowly, her walls are surely crumbling to pieces. and for the first time, she doesn’t care. she lets her walls break right in front of her eyes. she does it to let yongsun in, hoping that maybe she will make the pain go away, even for just a short while. but she doesn’t know if yongsun even wants to enter the mess, the endless chaos in her mind that consumes wheein every day. 

a silent tear has slipped past her closed eyes and rolled down her face without her permission. she doesn’t bother to wipe it away. soft hands gently cup her cheeks, a smooth finger wiping the tears away. wheein doesn’t open her eyes, not even when she feels yongsun so close to her that she can hear her breathing. she just lets the tears fall, and allows yongsun’s gentle hands to wipe them away. she turns so her back is facing yongsun, the warmth of her hands suddenly gone, leaving wheein feeling vulnerable. her shoulders wrack with silent sobs that she has been holding in for so long. 

yongsun sits up, her knees against her chest, as she glances down at the younger whose face is hidden by her short blonde locks. she reaches a hand out to brush the hair away from the tear-stained face. she’s never seen wheein this vulnerable before, and it hurts her. she doesn’t know why it does, but every sob that comes from wheein feels like a stab to her heart. yongsun the top of wheein’s head, hoping that she understands the unspoken words between them. 

yongsun has never felt more torn. the irrational part of her wants to lay back down next to the younger and protect her from the cruel world, she wants to put her arms around wheein and hug her until she feels alright again. the other part of her tells her she shouldn’t be doing this, shouldn’t be thinking about this, especially since wheein is not only her student, but also the vampire hunter tasked to hunt her. wheein could easily just kill her now, even if she said she didn’t do things like that. but wheein won’t go back on her word, right? 

yongsun wants to trust. trust that wheein won’t hurt her, that wheein keeps her promises. but she can’t find it in herself to trust anyone else again. she’s grasping at hopeless chances, trying to deceive herself into thinking that she’s recovered. 

she hasn’t. 

and then wheein sits up as well, her beautiful face marred by the tears that hold years of pain and suffering. and yongsun almost doubles over in pain, because this, this wheein, makes her heart ache in all the wrong places. this wheein, is broken. this wheein is the real wheein, not the cheerful and confident persona she acts as to make others happy. 

“i’m sorry,” wheein’s dry throat manages to croak out. “i’m such a mess, you shouldn’t be seeing me like this,” she says, her voice shuddering with every breath she takes. 

“we’re all a little broken inside, wheein. it’s just how much you can take before you break completely,” she reaches a hand out to hold wheein’s one, their slender digits intertwining with each other’s, as if they were holding on to each other for strength only the other could give, as if they would be torn apart the moment they let go. “let yourself be fixed,” yongsun wheein’s knuckles with her feather-light touches, and it feels like the wind is blowing past wheein, leaving only a trace of its existence on her numb hands. “let yourself heal, no matter how long it takes. let yourself be happy for once,” 

“how do you know it works? i’ve tried, unnie, it only leaves me feeling even more empty afterwards,” 

“that’s because you never truly let yourself go. there is something pulling you back down. you need to cut off whatever it is, for your sake. it may not have worked for me, but i know it’ll work for you. you’re stronger than me, wheein-ah. you can get past this better than i ever could. it’ll take me a long time to heal, but maybe it won’t for you,” 

wheein doesn’t question what yongsun has been going through, just like how yongsun didn’t to her. she just nods slowly, taking in yongsun’s advice. 

——————

yongsun can’t see wheein in the same light again. since that day when wheein bared her emotions to her under the starlit sky, all yongsun sees is a vulnerable wheein, one that needs someone to care for her. she sees the broken pieces that the younger has been so desperately trying to hold in place for such a long time, the shattered pieces of her life that’s made her who she is today. 

“how’ve you been?” is the first thing that comes out of yongsun’s mouth when she sees wheein the next thursday. they don’t have many chances to talk on the campus, there were too many risks of getting caught. 

“i’ve been better, but like you said, i’ll get through it soon enough,” wheein offers her a reassuring smile, even though she barely believes her own words. yongsun hugs the younger girl, mostly out of impulse than anything else. wheein stands rooted to the spot, her arms stuck at her sides, unsure of what to do. should she hug yongsun back? in the end, she ends up wrapping her arms around yongsun’s back, her small frame almost engulfed by the taller. yongsun’s hands that pats her back soothingly sends shivers down wheein’s body. they part after a few seconds, and yongsun glances down shyly. now she kind of regrets hugging wheein, it’s left an awkward atmosphere around them. 

“lets watch a movie,” wheein breaks the silence, already making her way to the television. 

just moments after the movie starts, wheein feels herself drifting away from reality, the demons hiding in her mind coming up to drag her underneath the surface. it’s only a dream, but it feels so real. she can’t breathe, her limbs won’t work like they’re supposed to. she’s slipping further and further from the light, slowly sinking to the pit of the bottomless sea. the darkness consumes her, even though she’s crying for help, for someone to save her, she’s thrashing around but her body won’t move to her will. 

then finally, finally, her eyes open with a jerk, she’s panting for breath and sweating profusely. yongsun is calling her name repeatedly, concern lacing her voice and her worried eyes staring at wheein’s. the younger breathes out slowly, her body collapsing on the couch while yongsun leans over her, gently wiping her sweat away with a tissue. 

“are you okay? you looked like you were struggling to breathe,” yongsun asks quietly. she doesn’t want to force wheein into telling her anything, but she can’t help but worry. 

“i-i’m fine,” the short-haired girl says, her voice hoarse. “just another nightmare,” 

“you have these frequently?” yongsun’s eyebrows furrow in worry. 

“recently, yes. i end up waking up in the middle of the night like this and i can’t go back to sleep,” wheein admits, slightly embarrassed. 

“well, it’s pretty late, you should go to sleep. i’m staying over for the night,” yongsun announces, as if this were her own house. “to make sure you don’t have any more nightmares tonight,” she clarifies, then guides a half-asleep wheein into the bedroom. 

“you can sleep here if you want, i’ll just sleep on the couch,” wheein offers. 

“no. you sleep here, i’ll sit beside you,” 

“but you need to sleep too, unnie,” wheein pouts. 

“then i’ll sleep beside you,” yongsun lays wheein down on the bed, setting herself down at the edge of the bed. “sleep, wheein-ah,” 

“i’m scared. they’ll come back, like they do every night,” wheein whimpers, her body curling into a small ball. 

“don’t worry, i’ll chase them away, okay? just sleep,” yongsun wheein’s hair repeatedly, her fingers massaging the younger girl’s head. within minutes, wheein is sound asleep, her breathing even. 

for the first time in months, wheein doesn’t have any nightmares that night. she wakes up to the bright sunlight, but it is blocked by a figure sitting beside her. yongsun is still in the same position as she was last night, her head down with her knees up, long blonde hair framing her face like a halo. she must’ve slept like this the whole night. poor yongsun, her neck must hurt a lot. wheein tries her best to move yongsun onto her bed without waking the older, but it turns out she is a light sleeper. 

“nghhh...?” she groans, shielding her eyes from the sunlight. “did you sleep well?” yongsun stretches on the bed, wincing as she rolls her head to the side. 

“i should be the one asking you that, you should’ve slept on the bed instead,” 

“couldn’t risk you having another nightmare, could i?” yongsun sits up and smiles warmly, her hand reaching out to wheein’s hair affectionately. at just the right angle, with the sunlight shining on her, yongsun looked so much like an angel, especially with her smile that seemed to chase all the darkness away from wheein’s life. 

“thank you,” wheein whispers, feeling herself start to tear up and quickly looking down. no one apart from hyejin has ever cared for her this way. nobody had ever bothered to ask her if she was okay, just so they could look after her for the whole night. no one, until yongsun. 

and this just makes her so much more in love with this woman in front of her. everything about her, every little thing she does, even the way she laughs, the way she carries herself with so much confidence, wheein is attracted to it all. she loves everything about yongsun ; she loves yongsun.