SEVENTEEN

Seven years earlier

‘You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend!’

Siwon’s date from the previous night is , fuming, and still in his bed.

‘I don’t,’ Siwon says, trying desperately appease him and also to stop an equally furious Donghae from flinging his belongings into a suitcase. ‘Donghae, wait!’

‘I came back early because I missed you!’ Donghae shouts, and he’s trying to stay angry but there are tears now too.

‘You know we’re not dating,’ Siwon tries again, pleadingly. He’s still holding the coffees he had left to get for himself and the stranger that Donghae had walked in to find in their room.

Donghae had thought the other man was a girl at first. A little older than them, pretty with dark, wavy hair, it was initially only the man’s loud and somewhat obnoxious voice that gave him away.

That and his distinctly flat chest; although in all truthfulness Donghae didn’t notice at first, due to his total lack of experience with anything or anyone other than Siwon.

‘If he’s not your ing boyfriend, why does he live with you?’ the man demands.

‘He’s my roommate!’ Siwon says. He finally finds a clear surface to put down the coffee cups and tries to take hold of Donghae’s arm. ‘Donghae, stop it, for goodness sake! Where do you plan on going?’

‘I don’t know,’ Donghae says, furiously throwing whatever he can grab into the suitcase he’d only just arrived with. ‘Anywhere else!’

‘If he’s not your boyfriend, why the is he acting like this?’

‘Please Heechul,’ Siwon turns to the other man. ‘It might be better if you go.’

‘I’m the one that’s going!’ Donghae screams, and he’s crying openly now, and he’s feeling so embarrassed and crushed and stupid that he wants to crawl into a hole somewhere and die.

‘Why should I go?’ Heechul asks Siwon. ‘You’re the one that ed up. You can bloody well go.’

‘But-’ Siwon begins, eyebrows almost comically high. ‘Hyung, I live here, don’t you think that-’

‘Get out!’ the man roars, and Siwon at least has the brains to scurry past Donghae and out of their shared room.

Donghae keeps gathering up his things, trying to stack too much into his small suitcase, getting slower and slower until he’s just sitting on his bed, holding an armful of socks and t-shirts and bawling his eyes out.

‘Hey.’

Siwon’s overnight guest winds the sheet around himself and comes over to sit beside Donghae.

‘Hey, kid. I didn’t know he had a boyfriend, okay?’

‘He- he’s not my-’ Donghae sniffles, ‘He’s my friend but he’s also- we also-’

Truthfully, Donghae doesn’t know what he and Siwon are. It’s not like they were official, he knows that, but he’s always assumed they’d move on to be more than just friends-with-benefits.

‘He’s the only one I ever-’ he whispers. ‘I ever-’

Realization dawns in the other man’s big, dark eyes.

‘Oh,’ he says. He looks around for a tissue and can’t find one so shoves Siwon’s coffee into Donghae’s hands instead. Donghae wants to be angry and push him away, but he’s tired, upset, and really really needs a hug.

Five minutes later, he’s still in the other man’s arms, sniffling quietly into his bedsheet robe. Heechul doesn’t quite know what to do with him and eventually pushes him away enough to inspect his red, puffy face.

‘God you’re cute,’ he says. ‘How did that sleazy chaebol pull someone as adorable as you?’

Donghae hangs his head and another big tear rolls down his cheek.

‘Please stop crying,’ Heechul says, wiping it away. ‘Should we to make things even?’

Donghae shakes his head, a bit scandalized.

‘We could break some of his stuff, would that make you feel better?’

Donghae shakes his head again, but there’s the tiniest smile. Heechul sees it and leans closer.

‘What about just a few things?’ he whispers conspiratorially. ‘His laptop?’

‘Maybe,’ Donghae whispers back. He knows Siwon has a half-finished assignment on it, and gets a quick, mean thrill of satisfaction at the thought of deleting it.

‘Is that his?’ Heechul points to an expensive bottle of cologne on their shared desk. Donghae nods. Heechul gives a devious smile and pushes it with one finger until it falls off with a crash. Donghae jumps, startled.

‘Now you try,’ Heechul says.

‘No,’ Donghae says, because Heechul just slept with the man Donghae thought was one day going to be his boyfriend and the whole situation is just getting ridiculous.

He does sort of want to break some of Siwon’s things though.

Heechul takes the lid off the coffee Donghae is holding.

‘Is this his watch?’ he asks, picking up the Rolex Siwon had left on the bedside table.

‘Yes,’ Donghae says, alarmed. ‘Wait, you can’t!’

There’s a splash.

Out in the corridor with Heechul’s bodyguards, Siwon frowns anxiously and wonders what the hell the two inside the room have to laugh about.

Not long after, Heechul and Donghae emerge.

‘Is everything alright?’ Siwon asks, but they walk past him.

‘I’m taking him out for dinner,’ Heechul says over his shoulder. ‘As an apology.’

‘Apology for what?’ Siwon says, following them. ‘And it’s not even noon!’

The elevator door closes in his face.

There’s a big glossy black car waiting outside and a man opens the door for them. Donghae’s too busy cooing over the small terrier leaping all over them to notice much, although later, after a day of being thoroughly spoilt, he points innocently to the two men who have followed them around since morning.

‘What about them?’ he asks.

‘What about them?’ Heechul repeats, gesturing impatiently at the line of nervous waiters. He and Donghae are in an insanely expensive restaurant and the first of twelve courses is about to be served.

‘Don’t they get to eat?’

Heechul stares at the younger man.

‘Donghae, they’re working.’

Donghae looks sad.

‘Can’t they work in here?

‘No,’ Heechul says.

Two courses later and the bodyguards are sitting awkwardly opposite, spooning up caviar with guilty expressions.

‘Hyung, try this mushroom,’ Donghae is saying to one of them, holding out a piece of truffle.

Heechul shakes his head. It’s not often he doesn’t get his own way, but Donghae beams, and somehow Heechul finds himself ordering another few courses just to feed the staff.

Later, he sees the bill and laughs.

Heechul has seen a lot, done a lot, and knows a lot of people.

But he’s never met anyone quite like Lee Donghae.

*                             *                             *                             *

Donghae has been awake for over an hour and he’s lying as still as possible, smiling so much he knows he must look ridiculous.

Curled up beside him, one arm thrown across his chest, hair messy, lips parted as he sighs and shifts in his sleep, is Donghae’s boyfriend.

Lee Hyukjae.

Donghae’s boyfriend!

Donghae kind of wants to squeal and thrash around like a teenage girl.

He’d sent Siwon a string of messages the previous night, unable to fall asleep because of the overjoyed butterflies in his stomach.

-I asked him out and he said yes!!

-he’d already asked me but I didnt know!?!!

-we’re dating!!!

-hes my boyfriend!!!!!

Siwon had responded typically.

-congratulations ;)

-what’s he like in bed

Donghae had then tossed his phone aside in frustration. Didn’t Siwon want to know how romantic it had been, and all the clever, sentimental things Donghae had said?

Actually, as it grows lighter and as Donghae thinks about it more, he hadn’t been so much clever and romantic as terribly cringeworthy.

Why on earth had he talked so much? It had been like he just couldn’t stop, all his long-hidden feelings pouring out and spilling everywhere. Donghae winces. He feels more embarrassed the longer he thinks about it, slowly pulling up the sheets to hide himself from the memory.

Next to him, disturbed by the movement, Hyukjae opens his eyes sleepily.

‘Hi,’ he says, smiling, then takes in the blanket-swathed shape beside him. ‘Donghae? Are you okay?’

Having Hyukjae wake up next to him and speak to him so kindly and fondly makes things worse. Donghae peeks at him and then literally hides again, face burning, remembering how perfect and needy and amazing Hyukjae had looked, sprawled out on his desk at work. Remembering how sweetly and gently he’d kissed Donghae goodnight. Remembering- oh , remembering how terrible his own confession had been.

‘Donghae?’ Hyukjae sits up, alarmed now. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ Donghae squeaks, then feels even more embarrassed. Why- why can’t he ever just be cool and calm when it comes to Hyukjae?

‘Nothing?’ Hyukjae repeats, sounding doubtful.

Donghae shakes his head without emerging.

‘Alright,’ Hyukjae says. He hesitates. ‘Donghae, should I go?’

The uncertainty in his voice is enough to bring Donghae out of his cocoon straight away.

‘No,’ he says, wrapping his arms fiercely around the confectioner. ‘No, of course not. I’m just having a small- a very small- crisis.’

Hyukjae just looks at him.

‘Because,’ Donghae continues, a bit desperately, ‘Because I’m so ing embarrassing and I can’t believe you agreed to be my boyfriend.’

‘Oh,’ Hyukjae says. A little hint of a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. ‘Well I can’t believe you asked me. Like, ing finally, right?’

He shifts down in the bed until they are level with one another again and touches Donghae’s cheek with gentle fingertips.

‘Donghae,’ he says, ‘Can I kiss you?’

‘Yes,’ Donghae whispers, completely lost in those dark, beautiful eyes.

Then he remembers he hasn’t brushed his teeth yet.

‘I mean no! Not on the mouth!’

Hyukjae, who had been millimeters from his lips, pulls back startled.

‘Not on the mouth?’

Donghae claps one hand over his mouth.

‘Haventbrushedmyteeth!’

‘Oh,’ Hyukjae says again, and he’s definitely hiding a smile now. ‘Well, are you saying other places are okay?’

His lips brush over Donghae’s jaw and plant soft kisses down his throat and Donghae forgets how to breathe for a moment. He reaches up and tangles his fingers in Hyukjae’s hair, tugging softly, and Hyukjae gasps.

It’s not a gasp of pain either.

The sound sends a shiver of pleasure straight through Donghae, his fingers tightening on reflex, and Hyukjae moans, soft and stifled, pressing closer.

It’s going to be ing hard not to do anything until he’s healed.

Pun not intended.

Donghae keeps his fingers tight in the silky strands of hair and while Hyukjae is distracted, takes the opportunity to kiss him too; his sharp, unique jaw, his soft neck, the little bit of collarbone that is exposed by his baggy shirt.

‘If I beg you this time, are you still going to say no?’

Hyukjae sounds breathless, joking but on the edge of desperate. Donghae tries to think why he said no the previous time they got this far, his mind all clouded by Hyukjae, and the heat and lust and longing radiating out everywhere they are touching.

‘I don’t wanna hurt you!'

Then, seeing how Hyukjae had reacted to the light tug on his hair, he amends it without thinking.

‘By accident, I mean. I don’t wanna hurt you accidentally.’

Hyukjae drops his head onto Donghae’s shoulder.

‘You’re killing me,’ he says, muffled, squeezing him tightly. But when he looks up, there’s something very warm and loving in his eyes.

‘Thank you,’ he says.

‘For what?’

‘For not ing me, I guess,’ Hyukjae says, kissing him on the cheek, as close as he can get to his lips without breaking Donghae’s no mouth kisses before toothpaste rule. ‘For caring?’

There it is again, that little hint of surprise that someone is treating him well. It hurts Donghae that Hyukjae doesn’t expect it, that being treated with respect surprises him more than being handled roughly.

Donghae wants to protect him so badly.

The problem is, he still has no idea what he's protecting him from.

‘I-I’m meeting up with my hyung this morning,’ he says to him. ‘But- but afterwards, do you- can I take you on a date?’

‘A date?’ Hyukjae repeats. He blinks a little nervously. ‘And- and y