Looking outside the window made Luhan feel as if he was floating. 

He did feel trapped, but in a strange way, it felt liberating too.

Thinking about Sehun made him sadder than ever and the funny thing was that Luhan didn't even understand the meaning of it all. Sehun was just a boy, like all the others who attended their school.

Luhan was the different one. He was the poor orphan boy, who had made it in just through a scolarship. All the others were there because of the money that filled theirs, or better, their parents' pockets and purses.

The thing, for Luhan, was that Sehun seemed different too. He always kept to himself, an inner close circle of friends which Luhan didn't really care about. Most of his days were spent observing Sehun.

At the morning, during lunch, in the swimming pool, football field or tennis court during the last period of the day, which had happened to be perfect as both were perfectly visible through the third floor classroom windows in which Luhan sat for his classes. 

To Luhan, those little moments had always felt like an eternal security of things always being on place and the world turning the way it was supposed to be. It wasn't an obsession. Luhan just believed in his definition of love by observing him. That was the closest he had gone to love someone.

That was until that morning. He had seen Sehun. He had seen the affection with which Sehun circled the beautiful girl's arms and walked with her.

Sehun sat with her even at lunch. And, when the last period started, Luhan's eyes wandered many times at the players running in their sweaty shorts, but he had not seen Sehun. 

For almost half of the lesson, Luhan felt imbalanced, as if he had lost his equilibrity, while the teacher went on talking about how history had shaped the world of human but Luhan was clever enough to know that it wasn't that way at all. It was humans and their minds which had shaped history and maybe it was narcissistic of him to think so, but, deep down, he wished to do so too Or, at least, to leave a remarkable sigh behind for his name. Or maybe he will just end up rotting in a flat, unloved and having lost his mind and then, a few years later, they will call him a genuious for the poetry he would leave behind. Pages and pages of sensations and emotions he had felt while observing others.

Sometimes he had written about a boy and and girl, he saw walking, and how he carried her bag and they laughed together. He could sense the happiness radiating from the two. 

Or he remembered about that time he was still a child and while coming back to the orphanage, after a walk in the woods, he and his other two friends had accidentaly killed a small bird. He remebered he had cried for the little baby bird. It had broken his heart and he had wrote about it: how he had seen the little bird, ran after it and then the bird had ran in the middle of the road. The black car was big, and Luhan didn't quite remember if they had screamed to the bird to fly away. But it was still a baby. Death could choose anyone after all.

"Mr Luhan?"

In fact, that exact moment that Luhan was looking outside, someone had probably just died and Luhan was glad he couldn't see it happening. He knew that such a vision would haunt him forever.

"Mr Luhan?"

Luhan was suddenly bought to reality after he heard taps on his wooden desk. He looked up just to see his teacher looking down at him, with an annoying expression on his face.

"Didn't you get enough sleep last night?"

Luhan never liked this kind of attention on him, and yet he was constantly humiliated and by now, he was used to it and still his face started to burn in embarassment. All he wanted was to be invisible and they wouldn't let him.

"I'm sorry, Mr Yesung," Luhan mumbled looking down at his book, "I was distacted but...it won't happen again."

Mr Yesung scoffed, adding to his further humiliation and then he looked over Luhan's shoulder, on the desk of his back, "Can you please read that passage, Mr Byun?"

The stranger started to read aloud and for the remaining twenty five minutes of the lesson, Luhan looked down at his book. 

Luhan wanted to keep 'observing' everything around him, while he himself wanted to be not seen.

"You know, it's not people breaking you which hurts the most. It's when they break your dreams that leaves you aching."

Luhan looked up, this time less surprised as he faintly had remebered the sound of that voice, and he saw Jongin leaning against the tree under which he was sitting.

It was late afternoon, and the sun was about to go down. Luhan craved for the sunsets like children crave for sweets. It was all about observing the colours and the shapes of the clouds in the sky at the most beautiful time of the twenty four hours of the day. Luhan loved the sadness that the sunsets filled him with. It was both magical and hurting at the same time, creating an almost sickening kind of pleasure.

"And do you know, dreams can't be broken, you just eventually stop believing they're worth it" Luhan said.

"But what if someone prevents you from relaizing those dreams?"

"I don't think I have any kind of dreams anyone would prevent me form realizing."

"You're not that invisible, Luhan," Jongin smiled making himself comfortable on the grass next to Luhan, "So tell me?"

Luhan gave him a puzzling look, genuinely not understanding what the boy was referring to.

"Tell me what broke your heart today, Luhan?"

Luhan looked at him with a sad smile and shrugged his shoulders, "I saw Sehun with someone else. they seemed happy and I kind of felt this burning in my heart...I read about it many times so it must be..."

"Jealousy?"

"releavement."

"What?"

"I feel relieved," Luhan said.

"But didn't you love him?"

"Yes, I do."

"So how can you be relieved seeing him be happy with another girl?"

Luhan looked at Jongin with an apathetic expression, "If you would be like me, you'd understand what it means to accept that you will never be loved. Sometimes it's enough to love someone."

"But don't you...have a longing to be loved in return?"

"What we long for is usually things we are oppressed from. Things we can't hav