Don’t Let It Break Your Heart

Fire and Rain

“Soo is here” hearing the door click open Chanyeol announces looking up from his bass. 

“You were supposed to be here at 6” Chanyeol whines glancing at his wrist watch, he isn’t angry because Kyungsoo is known for being the most punctual one among all of them. 

“I know, I just got a little delayed” Kyungsoo replies in his usual flat tone fidgeting with his fingers. 

“You are an hour late not little” Chanyeol shakes his head with a chuckle, “Its okay let’s start the rehearsal now that you are here or Dae might miss his date that he has managed to get after eons” 

To which Jongdae mouths a ‘ You’ to other’s laughing. Riling him up is one of their favourite pass time. 

Everyone already in their respective position starts setting up their instruments for the practice. 

“Soo why are you still fossilised to the ground?”Chanyeol grins while tuning his cherry red Ibanez, finally taking notice of Kyungsoo still waiting near the door.

”We are already kinda running late” Sehun mumbles tapping his foot impatiently. He can’t wait to wrap up the rehearsal and go back to his apartment and sleep. All the alcohol from last night is weighing down on him. 

Kyungsoo just stares at them with a very unsure gait without even making an effort to remove his jacket or move an inch.

“I have to say something” Kyungsoo’s voice falters slightly, eyes rapidly blinking behind the thick frame of his glasses. 

“Can’t you just wait till the rehearsal finishes?” Jongdae asks in an agitated tone. 

Kyungsoo bites down on his lip “No I can’t” then he pauses looking up “I am quitting...I am quitting the band” 

And that’s enough to draw everyone’s undivided attention towards him, the drumstick suddenly slips out of Sehun’s fingers and hits the cymbal with a loud clang dropping to the floor breaking the dead silence in the room. 

“If this your idea of a prank because it’s not funny—“ Chanyeol replies with a forced smile because from Kyungsoo’s face it’s so clear this isn’t a joke, and he has known him long enough to know that he never been the one to make jokes. 

“I wish it was, but I am leaving” Kyungsoo pushes his glass up his nose nervously, “I am sorry” he adds the words under his breath. 

Chanyeol’s heart drops instantly and he really wants to believe that the sorry is genuine and knowing the other for the past five years he is sure that Kyungsoo really means it but sadly an apology won’t fix anything.

“Why?” Chanyeol asks unslinging his guitar placing it back on the case,not that they can rehearse anymore. 

“I have signed a record deal with a company” Kyungsoo drawls out in a monotone but his expression turns into somewhere between sad and embarrassed. 

“You are going solo?” Minseok counters in,his eyes widening in surprise.

To which the lead singer dosent say anything but lets his silence answer the question.

“Wow” Chanyeol makes a slow clap smiling bitterly, “What happened to our always and forever huh” his tone lacks the bite and it sounds more remorseful. 

As cliched as it sounds they both started four years ago as a garage band with big dreams to play in front of large audiences, from handing out flyers to people on street, performing in local bars to having their own concert they came a long way and now all the promises 

“I wanted to tell you guys before but nothing was really fixed it was all just talks I wasn’t even sure things will workout” Kyungsoo rambles on, It is probably the first time that he seems so uncomfortable and unsure. 

“You definitely have a timing we have a gig in three weeks, where do you expect us to find a substitute?” Jongdae snaps, he has never had the ability to stay calm anyway. 

“Wait, you won’t leave before that would you?” Chanyeol demands his eyes desperately searching for Kyungsoo’s, waiting. 

“I am sorry, there is a clause that I can’t be a part of this or any band anymore since I have already signed the contract” Kyungsoo answers looking genuinely apologetic. 

“How can you us over like this dude?” Jongdae spits out angrily as he stands up pushing his keyboard bench with too much force that it screeches loudly against the floor.

Chanyeol raises his shaky finger to stop Jongdae from throwing anymore tantrums. His head is staring to hurt from all the yelling. 

Sighing he continues, “I am happy for you Soo, I really am...I know you were never really content with this band you always wanted more” somehow Kyungsoo’s aspirations had exceeded their dreams but he had never expected him to leave. 

“It’s not like that, one of my friend sent my demo to the company...we weren’t even serious it was just a trial I was sure they wouldn’t even listen but i got in. I love our band...it was got nothing to do with me leaving” Kyungsoo confesses in a low voice. 

“You love our band so much that you decided to just drop the bomb on us and now you are playing the victim...great just great” Jongdae hisses. 

“Fighting right now won’t actually solve anything” Sehun interjects rubbing his forehead tiredly. 

“Yah having a lead singer would” Minseok replies distractedly eyes darting over everyone. 

“I know you guys probably really hate me right now and think I don’t care about our band” Kyungsoo speaks up after sometime clearing his throat, “I wouldn’t have left without someone to fill the position...there is someone who can—“

“Who can what huh?” Chanyeol quickly cuts him off in annoyance “You think our fans who have already paid for the concert tickets would appreciate a new singer?”

“It’s better than nothing right?” Sehun argues as he walks towards the others leaving his drum set. 

“He is really good, i have known him since college he won’t let you guys down I promise” Kyungsoo glances at Chanyeol hopefully. 

Chanyeol lets out a dead laugh, “Sorry If I am finding a little difficulty to believe any of your promises right now”

Kyungsoo purses his lips in a thin line as he looks away. 

“Hey it wouldn’t hurt to at least hear him once” Minseok reasons seeing the tension among everyone. 

 

“Yah whatever just send the guy in, we can’t perform without a lead singer, maybe not for you but this concert means a lot to us” Jongdae crosses his arms over his chest. 

“No I can’t...I can’t have someone new” Chanyeol denies shaking his head.

“Soo can you send him tomorrow we can see how it goes...if we don’t like we can always look for someone else” Minseok suggests running a hand through his electric blue hair. 

“We only have two weeks for sake, I can’t have the sound of our band change completely” Chanyeol raises his voice frustratedly. 

“Okay then what else do you suggest Chanyeol?” Sehun urges, being the youngest among everyone he has always been an escapist letting others take care of things but right now seeing how their band is falling apart he can’t help but feel worried. 

“I..I don’t know” Chanyeol stutters looking dejected. 

“Sorry but Kyungsoo’s option sounds more effective than yours” Minseok shrugs staring at Chanyeol. 

Kyungsoo gives a small smile to the guitarist, “I know it doesn’t matter now but I wouldn’t just let anyone be a part of this band, Baekhyun is my friend and I swear he won’t disappoint”

Jongdae scoffs “Yah I am pretty sure he will be less of an than you...anyway call me when you guys come down to a reasonable decision, i can’t stand this drama anymore I am out” saying he storms out of the room without sparing a single glance to anyone.

 

“He didn’t mean that you know” Sehun murmurs patting Kyungsoo’s shoulder gently.

“No I hope he did, I definitely deserve it” Kyungsoo whispers. 

“You were supposed to perform with us not some random guy, for the last month we have been talking about this show...how can you leave us like this?” Chanyeol demands stepping towards the singer. More like leave him but he doesn’t say it. 

“Chanyeol I am really—“

“I don’t want to listen to your vacant apologies...I get it you are really ing sorry and that you had no other choice, what I just don’t get it is how you didn’t bother to tell us once before you took this huge decision. Didn’t I deserve to know at least after everything...” he can feel all his words jumbling up inside his throat. 

Chanyeol watches how with each words that tumble out of his mouth breaks him, Kyungsoo remains quite biting down on his lip to keep his composure. 

“Anyway good luck with your record deal..I wish you the best, goodbye” He walks out of the room, he feels like he is stuck under water, everything feels slow and warbled.  

Chanyeol looks upward at the clusters of stars decorating the evening sky, the chill of the wind is forming goosebumps on the bare skin of his arm. He wants to go back and apologise for the harsh words that he never thought he’d say to him. The sight of the hurt painted on Kyungsoo’s face makes his stomach twist. 

“Are you okay?” Sehun asks softly placing a hand on the small of his back breaking his train of thoughts. 

Chanyeol knows Sehun is asking not only because they don’t have a lead singer, even though Chanyeol believes he has been able to hide his feelings all this while quite well, but all it took was one night with too many glasses of whiskey and pent up emotions he rambled how he had always felt for the lead singer to Sehun.

It was easier to reveal it to the youngest then actually confessing to Kyungsoo,scared that it will ruin their close friendship if the other didn’t feel the same way.

Chanyeol had never gotten around to gather enough courage to say it and now he had completely lost his chance and also he had lost the person along with it. All it took a few words to break their relationship...he wonders if Kyungsoo ever considered him even a part of his life. 

“Ask me this a few days latter, right now I don’t think I can answer” Chanyeol replies gazing at the flashing lights of the busy street on the opposite side which start to get a little blurry in his vision. 

Sehun doesn’t say anything he just waits beside him silently, Chanyeol feels thankful for the company and also the fact that Sehun inspite of his worry neither pries nor tries to shower him with any vague consolation. 


                                 ....

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