Amnesia Lee Dongmin (Cha Eunwoo) & Moonbin Park Minhyuk (Rocky), Jinjin (Park Jinwoo), Yoon Sanha and MJ (Kim Myungjun)

(Author's note: sorry for the few mistakes, I haven't got the time to fix everything yet. <3)

 

I felt an intense pain on the right side of my head. My body was numb. I opened my eyes, everything was so white and hurt my vision.

Pieces of glass were everywhere on the tarmac. I was upside down in my car seat. Water was dripping from the sky.

I looked at my left, Bin was there, looking at me with big teary eyes. He was also upside down like me. He was talking but I couldn't comprehend what he was saying.

It suddenly seems slow and fuzzy. My eyes became heavier. I closed my eyes, feeling oh so sleepy.

I just wanted to tell him how much I loved him, whatever happened.

 

 

I frowned, aching from everywhere. Breathing was difficult as every breath was moving my chest. I tried to open my eyes and succeed after a long moment.

I was in a hospital room. The walls, the floor and the blanket were all white. It smells like medicine. You know what kind of smell I am talking about right? The kind where everything is sanitized.

I tried to move my head but couldn't. I frowned even more, panicking a little.

Why was I here? What happened?

A face appeared near me, a small man, orange hair and unique nose. His eyes were puffy. Was he crying?

"Dongmin-ah. Are you awake?"

I frowned.
Who was he? Who's that Dongmin he's talking about?
As I stayed silent, he touched my hand and smiled at me.

"We were so afraid for you. Listen, I'll go get a nurse. I'll be right back."

And he was gone. My hand was numb. I knew he had touched me because I saw it, but I didn't felt the contact. And that bothered me a lot.

Few seconds later, a nurse arrived with the orange hair guy. She looked at me and the machine next to me. She touched the side of my head and I felt the worst pain I felt in my life.

I grunted and frowned, showing my teeth. The nurse smiled at me sadly.

"It's healing properly. Are you awake now Mr. Lee? I'll get a doctor to explain things to you. It must be confusing now right?"

I tried to nod, but I was able to move only a little my head.

"Don't move too much dear. It's probably hurting a lot."

And she was gone.

I looked around and noticed the orange hair guy was looking at me with such sad eyes.

"Bin is fine. He's at home. He got released few days ago."

I raised my eyebrows. Who was Bin? Actually, who are you?

"He feels awful, because of what happened."

Again. What is he talking about? Maybe he got the wrong room. Maybe he's friend with someone next door.

A female doctor walked in, making the stranger back off. She looked at my eyes with a light, then looked at her papers.

"Can you talk for me Mr. Lee?"

I opened my mouth, but nothing got out. I frowned and tried again. The doctor nodded.

"It often happens after a shock. You'll probably be able to talk in few days as your accident didn't touch your vocal cords at all. As for this..."

She touched my head and again, I frowned and twitched away.

"It's a pretty bad cut. We will keep an eye on it while you stay with us for the next days. You had a pretty big car accident. You are lucky you are still alive."

And she was gone too, leaving me with orange guy.

"Does it hurt?"

As I was unable to answers, he scratched his neck.

"Right, your voice. If... If it's yes blink once. If it's no, blink twice okay?"

I blinked once.

I wished my arms weren't so numb. I could write to him instead. Know what exactly happened.

"So... Is it hurting?"

I thought a moment. Yeah, it was. But only when people touched my head. I wasn't blind, I noticed my leg was in a cast. But it didn't hurt. Actually I didn't feel anything.

But I blinked once.

The other sighted.

"I told the others you were awake. I'll let them see you soon. As we can be only one visitor at time, I'll need to leave. You will tell them if something is wrong okay?"

I blinked again.

He was about to leave when he came back and took my hand.

"I am really glad you are alive Dongminnie."

I looked at him leaving, tears in his eyes again. That was a weird feeling, seeing a stranger crying next to you - supposedly because of you. I mean, I don't know him at all.

A tall man opened the door. He had light purple hair and his gaze was looking everywhere but at me. He was playing with his fingers, stressed.

He sat down on the chair next to me and stayed silent.

"I don't know what I would have done if something really happened to you, hyung."

His voice was almost silent. Our eyes met a moment. He was younger than me, that was obvious. But his eyes looked so hurt, lost.

"Jinwoo hyung told us you can't speak. Is that true?"

I looked at him silently and blinked once.

Tears appeared on his cheeks, which he wiped instantly.

"I promised hyung I wouldn't cry but I can't. When the parademics found you they thought..."

I looked at him patiently. I got pieces of information with every stranger.

So far, I was in a car accident and paramedics found me somehow almost dead. That doesn't seem nice.

"I should be happy you are fine now. Hyung, can I hug you?"

I thought about it a second. I didn't know that kid, but he looked so desperate. If he could be happier with a hug - who am I to say no? I blinked once.

It didn't take long before his arms wrapped around my neck. He stayed there a moment, then walk back.

The purple guy went away, then a small guy with blond hair came inside. He told me to be strong and nice to Bin. Another guy came inside after. He stayed quiet most of the time, but took my hand.

The room finally became quiet as night was almost here. The different guys I saw probably went back home. It was weird, meeting a bunch of strangers in my hospital room. I feel like I should know them, but I didn't.

My eyes closed around 10PM. I was tired and hurt. The worst feeling ever.
 

 

My eyes opened because I felt a presence near me. As if someone was watching me. I was right. When I finally was able to see in my room, I noticed a man sitting on a chair next to me.

It took him a second to realize I was looking at him, and he sighed.

Was he an angel? Am I dead? Someone can't be beautiful like that. I was feeling my heart racing.

"Dongminnie..."

Again, someone called me that name. I guess that's my name even if I don't remember it.

He had a cut on his lips and a bruised on his cheek. Even with those, I felt like he was the most gorgeous man I saw in my life.

"I am sorry. So sorry."

Tears appeared from his eyes. He looked hurt and sad. I tried to move my hand, and to my surprise, it did. Well, a little. Just enough to be able to touched his fingers.

"I s-should have been more careful. You told me I shouldn't drive in that temperature but I did. And look what happened."

I squeeze lightly his hand. Tears didn't stop but his eyes met mine. How can I tell this man to never leave me? I can't bear to miss this face ever again. Will he leave me like the 4 others I met earlier? Am I dreaming about all this?

"D-does it hurt?" He asked me with a small voice.

It was different with him. I didn't want him to worry about me.
I blinked twice.

"I guess they gave you enough sedative? Do... Do you remember what happened?"

It was the first time someone asked me that question. If I could talk, I would have asked everybody. Who am I? Who are you? What the hell am I doing here?

I blinked twice.

"N-no? What is your last memory? Do you remember what we were talking about before we were in the car?"

I blinked twice.

I could see tears running down on his cheeks again.

"I'll say something stupid but... D-do you remember who I am?"

I winced. I didn't want to say no, but it was the truth. Even if I didn't want that man to leave me, I had to say it.

I blinked twice, feeling tears running down my own cheek. Why was I emotional like that? I shouldn't be. I don't know him. Why am I feeling I just lost my other half?

The guy looked at me a moment, without any emotion.

"You are joking, right?"

I blinked twice again.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

"I-I am Bin. Moonbin. We are... Best friend. We know each other for at least 15 years now."

15 years, uh? How can I lose a memory like that?

"Nice you meet you, Moonbin-ssi" I thought.

He looked away a moment, then stood up. His hand let mine. It felt empty and cold.

I looked at him, walking away slowly.

"Stay!" I wanted to shout.
"Stay with me. Don't leave me. I feel alone. I feel better when you are next to me."

He turned and looked at me before touching the doorknob.

"I'll come back another day. I'll stay around okay? Even if we fought that day - even if you told me to stay away from you. I'll... Yeah."

Tears run down my chin as he closed the door behind him.
 

 

It's been a week. I am still in the hospital. I can't talk, but I can move more freely. I can use my left arm to write - which is not that easy.

Moonbin came to visit only once after the first night. He stayed quiet and said nothing. It was fine, at least I was seeing him.

I learned the others' names. The orange hair guy is Jinwoo, purple boy is Sanha, small guy is Myungjun and sharp but soft man Minhyuk. And they all say I am Dongmin. I guess they are right.

They showed me pictures of us. We are idols! We sing songs and dance... It's crazy, I'm not even sure I am able to sing something without being off beat. How is that possible?

Jinwoo stayed with me the most. I think we were good friends before my accident.

About my accident - I think it was pretty obvious but I had a car accident. That guy, Moonbin was driving and it became slippery, and we fell off a cliff. Bin had minor scratches and a broken finger and I... Well, you know.

They were all pretty surprised when I wrote to them I didn't remember anything. They calmly explained their relationship with me and were really nice in general. I'm really glad they are my friends.

It's afternoon. Jinwoo was in the room with me, reading a book silently. I took a piece of paper and scribbled few words.

"Is there anything I should know about Moonbin-ssi?"

I poked my friend's shoulder and gave him my note. I was biting my lips, stressed.

The thing is - it felt weird around Bin. There was a strange tension I couldn't understand. And he's so damn gorgeous...

"Hm? What do you mean?" He said, looking puzzled.

"How did I met him? How close were we?" I wrote back.

He looked at the paper and smirked.

"You guys were friends before I met you two, so it's been a while. Years and years. Close? I guess as close as you can be with someone. I know you talked about yours problems together. Why?"

I smiled then wrote "No reason."

I guess I was hoping. Hoping that maybe... He was more than a friend. Do my friends know I am gay? How can I make sure? It's a pretty weird situation if you ask me.

I poked my friend again, he smiled at me. I wrote something again.

"Tell me again about us."

His smile grew even bigger.

"We are Astro. We are working with Fantagio. We know each other for a while and-"

I pushed him, saying no with my head.

"The fans." I wrote.

He chuckled.

"You like fame, don't you? Our fans are call Aroha. To my eyes, they are the most gorgeous and nice people. They are always there for us, even when it's difficult. You are a favorite, obviously. Because you are an actor and all."

I blushed. Is that true? I feel like he's not lying to me. How surreal is this experience.

"Are any of us in a relationship?" I looked at my paper a moment before giving it to Jinwoo. He blushed, then scratched his neck.

"I... Yeah. Myungjun and I... We are an item."

I opened my mouth, surprised. So I wasn't alone?

"You are gay?"

He chuckled.

"Yeah Dongmin. Like you."

I blushed, smiling. At least I knew he knew.

"What about Moonbin-ssi?" I gave him my paper.

Jinwoo looked away, thinking.

"Bin is... Complicated."

As I was lost, he talked again.

"You keep asking questions about him. I guess do you remember things about him. Do you?"

I nodded. To be specific, I remembered feelings, not memories.

"I only know because you told me one day when you were drunk. Bin kissed you once. Few months ago."

I touched my lips with my fingers, trying to remember it.

"And then I think he told you he wasn't interested."

My heart died. So he doesn't like me? The only reason I am feeling weird around him is because I remember my feelings for him. My one side feelings.

Jinwoo touched my shoulder, smiling sadly.

"Hey, I didn't think you would be like that. You never told me you were really interested in him."

I looked way, feeling suddenly dark and gloomy.

We stayed quiet for a while, then he had to leave. He told me he would come back the next day and the doctor told him it would be my last day at the hospital. I was quite happy, I still had my leg in a cast and I had to find my voice and memory back - but other than that I was feeling fine.
 

 

"I'll bring your luggages!"

I smiled at the voice, Sanha.

"I'll help you walk!"

Jinwoo was next to me, putting my arm around his shoulder.

Myungjun and Minhyuk were also with us. We were walking away from my hospital's room slowly but smiling.

I was happy I could go home. It's been almost three weeks now since the accident.

Arrived at home, Sanha, Myungjun and Minhyuk went inside first. Jinwoo took his time with me.

"Binnie will be home. Is that okay for you?"

I looked at him with puzzled eyes. Why would I matter? I want to see him. He's gorgeous. Even if he didn't like me, he's still beautiful to look at.

We took the elevator and went inside.

It was a small apartment with two bedrooms. I wondered in which room my bed was when Jinwoo talked to me.

"Your bedroom is the one at the right. You share your bedroom with Bin."

Jinwoo looked at me, worried again. I smiled at him.

"Are you sure you are fine? I mean with what happened, I would understand. Staying away from him and all."

I shrugged my shoulder, smiling softly. I really didn't mind. I was happy to be back "home" or whatever it was. Even if I didn't remember anything, my doctor told me my memory would come back slowly.

It was the afternoon, but my body was tired because of the transportation. I walked to my bedroom. I opened the door, meeting with the most gorgeous view ever. I stayed still, unsure what I should do. I finally smiled shyly and went to the empty bed.

I was wondering why he didn't come like the others, but I guess it was weird and awkward for him too.

I waved at him and he smiled at me.

I laid down on my bed and sighed. I'll sleep easily.

"Do you need anything?" Asked Bin with a small voice. I looked at him, saying no with my head.

"Let me know if y