“Ah. Where am I?”

 

Irene gripped at the placard tightly, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings, her school turned into a different dimension by the amount of gaudy decorations done by each class for the event. Gritting her teeth, she looked to her left and then to her right, before deciding on a path, still wondering just where she was.

 

Go and promote our cafe, they said.

 

Use your pretty face and bring in customers, they said.

 

I hate you, Tiffany.

 

She huffed to herself and rounded a corner, not noticing the stares she was getting, boys visiting from other schools with gazes that trailed after her hungrily.

 

Tiffany is an idiot.

 

*

 

“Wendy! We need another set over here!”

 

Seulgi shouted at Wendy, who waved back in a hurried manner, her bangs sticking to her sweaty forehead. Her hands started sorting out the tea set in front of her automatically, mumbling under her breath the entire time.

 

“Whose great idea was it to run a cafe? I feel like I’m at my part time job all over again.”

 

Tiffany, who was handling the coffee, gave her a look but said nothing, a small smile playing on her lips.

 

Wendy gave the prepared set to Nana who swooped past like an eagle, leaving behind a few words that barely made sense.

 

“Walking advertisement. Worked well.”

 

Wendy stared after her in confusion before turning towards Tiffany who was nodding.

 

“What?”

 

Tiffany shrugged.

 

“I asked Irene to advertise our cafe around school.”

 

Wendy blinked once.

 

“That’s actually a good idea.”

 

“Right?”

 

“I can’t believe it came from you.”

 

“Hey!”

 

*

 

“Which floor is your cafe on?”

 

Irene eyed the boy who had repeated his question for the tenth time, distaste present in her words as she spoke slowly, her patience slowly running out.

 

“It’s on the third floor.”

 

He nodded once, before opening his mouth again, presumably to ask another stupid question.

 

Irene cut him off with a sharp smile, still cursing Tiffany in her mind.

 

“I have to go promote some more. Hope to see you there.”

 

And promptly sped off, leaving the boy gaping after her.

 

*

 

Wendy stared at the clock, anxiety settling between her ribs heavily, an ironclad fist wrapping around her heart tightly.

 

“How long ago did you send Irene off?”

 

Tiffany glanced up, the same worry etched onto her forehead, even if it was absent in the smile.

 

“About two hours ago.”

 

Wendy worried her lip between her teeth before standing up, brushing the icing sugar off her pants.

 

“I’m going to look for her, she’s taking too long.”

 

Tiffany looked apprehensive but waved her off, hand shaking slightly midair.

 

“Yeah, we can hold down the fort. Thanks, Wendy.”

 

*

 

“Come on, where are you rushing off to? Come see the festival with us?”

 

Irene glanced up at the tall boy, the expression on her face freezing as he tried to crowd in, his friends stepping around him like a wall. Her eyes darted around, looking for an escape route, heart dropping to her stomach when she found none. Taking in a deep breath, she answered the boy quietly, the placard bending under her fisted hands.

 

“I have to get back to class. Please excuse me.”

 

The boy held a thoughtful expression before it widened into a disgusting grin, his hand slapping at the wall behind Irene.

 

“If you give me your number, I’ll move.”

 

Irene’s fingernails dug into the material of the board she was holding, fear wrapping around her frame tightly as she realised that he wasn’t going to move of his own accord.

 

Help.

 

(Wendy.)

 

*

 

Jessica snuck off after Wendy, earphones plugged in her ear as she listened to Wendy huffed tiredly, the other woman running around the school trying to find Irene.

 

She mumbled under breath quietly, ducking under a pair of students who were making a bridge in the middle of the corridor.

 

“Come on, Wendy.”

 

*

 

Wendy rounded the corner, opening to shout for Irene yet again when she froze, her eyes taking in the scene in front of her.

 

Taking in the sight of Irene curling into herself as a boy loomed over her, big and intimidating, with a terrible smile on his face.

 

At the sight of his friends crowding around them, compliant in the way he was harassing Irene, doing absolutely nothing to stop this boy from getting what he wants.

 

Her body locked immediately and her mind delved into a memory she had long locked in a box, wrapped with chains of regret and guilt and everything Wendy saw in her nightmares.

 

*

 

“We have to tell someone! You can’t let them harass you like this.”

 

Wendy was outraged at the way her senior was treated, as thought she was a plaything in the midst of men, with the constant verbal abuse and borderline ual harassment.

 

Her senior, kind and gentle as she was, shook her head, arms wrapping around her shivering frame tightly.

 

“It’s alright, Wendy, I’m used to it. It’s not too bad.”

 

Wendy blanched.

 

“It’s not right.”

 

The other woman shrugged, helpless and defeated.

 

“It’s the way things are.”

 

“It shouldn’t be! Let me tell our supervisor, I’m sure he’ll do something about it.”

 

Her senior grabbed at her wrist hurriedly, stopping Wendy from leaving. Her eyes were wide and pleading, begging for Wendy not to go through with it, even though she was the one being harassed.

 

“No! Don’t! Just leave it, Wendy.”

 

Wendy looked on, helpless for once in her life, her sense of right and wrong completely useless in this world of grey, in this world where the powerful were rich and men and women were trodden on.

 

“Just leave it be, Wendy.”

 

(How was she supposed to promise that?

 

Just how was she supposed to stand to one side?)

 

She looked at her senior who had already turned away from her, even as she continued to hold Wendy’s wrist tightly.

 

And she nodded, swallowing the lump in with difficulty.

 

“Okay.”

 

*

 

Tears were streaming down her face when she found her senior curled up in a corner, shirt in disarray and her face bruised.

 

(And the worst thought came to her mind.)

 

“Senior-”

 

Her senior’s head snapped up, eyes wide with fear and she shook her head, her body curling in further on herself as she pleaded for mercy.

 

“Please stop, I didn’t say- I didn’t say anything- Please-”

 

Wendy dropped to her knees, kneeling in front of her senior, tears splattering on the floor even as the older woman tried to move away from her, seeing not Wendy but an unknown assailant.

 

“Please- I didn’t- Help-”

 

*

 

And then-

 

And then-

 

There was nothing but silence, a vibrant life cut short by the cruel scissors of fate.

 

And with it, it dug out a piece of Wendy, a vital piece, her voice stolen and her sanity crumbled to pieces.

 

Chained to the depths of a nightmare and weighed down by guilt and regret, brought on by a sense of justice that only hurt, instead of help.

 

*

 

Jessica watched the scene anxiously, her fingernails digging into her palm as Wendy continued to stand there, frozen at a scene that had definitely been in her nightmares.

 

She waited for a moment, two moments, before deciding to end this farce that they had created, taking a step forward to rescue Irene when Wendy suddenly moved, the chains around her unravelling so quickly, Jessica could hear the ringing clangs of it echoing in her ears.

 

And Wendy finally took a step forward, out of the abyss she had created, out of self hatred and a desire to punish herself for a crime she did not commit.

 

Jessica felt a surge of pride in her chest, warm and comforting and a smile pulled at the corner of her lips.

 

You’re doing it, Wendy.

 

*

 

“Please stop.”

 

It was those two words, spoken so softly, so quietly, that had Wendy moving, her feet stomping down hard on the linoleum floor as she made her way towards the group.

 

(She couldn’t help the last time.

 

But she can now.

 

She can do something now.)

 

“Hey!”

 

The boys immediately turned around, the fear of getting caught flashing across their faces, before they relaxed back to their arrogant state upon seeing Wendy.

 

“What do you want?”

 

Wendy ignored them and pushed past them forcibly, reaching out to take Irene’s hand between her own. She laced their fingers together, pressing the trembles between Irene’s into her skin, hoping to comfort the other girl with just a touch.

 

(She wanted nothing more than to punch the boy, to hurt him, to-

 

But she can’t.

 

Because sometimes, straight forward fighting can’t cut it.)

 

She spoke to Irene, loud enough for the boys to hear.

 

“Where have you been? Our teacher is asking for you, she thinks you are playing hooky.”

 

Irene was looking over Wendy's shoulder but Wendy tugged on their intertwined hands lightly, forcing Irene’s gaze back to her own.

 

(Don’t look at them.

 

They don’t deserve it.)

 

“I was promoting our cafe.”

 

Wendy smiled, shaky and wane as she pulled Irene out of the crowd, unable to resist the urge to knock into the boy’s shoulder roughly.

 

“Well, it’s time to head back to class. The teacher is looking for you.”

 

The boy spoke up in a thunderous voice, hoping to scare the both of them into submission.

 

“We’re not done talking yet!”

 

Wendy’s face darkened and she levelled him a glare so piercing, she could see him flinch visibly. A cold smile pulled on her lips and she spoke calmly, betraying none of the anger that was twisting on the inside.

 

(She can help now.

 

And she will.)

 

“And we have a teacher who’s angry. Sorry if your pathetic request doesn’t quite register with me.”

 

She left without saying another word, her hand gripping onto Irene’s tightly, as she led the other girl away.

 

The moment they were out of the boys’ sights, Wendy threw her arms around Irene, relief spilling out of her in waves.

 

Irene, shocked and caught unaware, took a while to respond but she returned the hug just as tightly, her small frame still shaking after the incident.

 

(She did it.)

 

*

 

Jessica let out a sigh and pulled out her phone, planning to update her colleague on the results of the plan they had hatched up.

 

But the shivers in her hands and the quick breaths that she had to take betrayed just how shaken she was at the situation, even if she did calculate just enough for them to be safe.

 

Jessica hated this aspect of her job.

 

But she can’t deny the results it brought.

 

(And she can only hope that there will not be a day when it backfired terribly.)

 

*

 

Jessica (12:37pm):

It worked.

 

Annoying little (12:37pm):

I’m glad.

 

*

 

They don’t talk about it after.

 

They don’t talk about it at all.

 

But it was present in the way they acted around each other during the festival, soft in ways that were absent in their previous interactions, pulling at the strings that surround Wendy’s broken heart, with the same gentle touch that coaxed Wendy out of her nightmares at night. It was warm and comforting and with it, Wendy felt like she had taken a step towards the future.

 

A future where guilt and regret wouldn’t be the primary factors in her life.

 

(And then she thought to herself.

 

Ah, that damned blonde was right.)

 

*

 

“Hey, Jessica?”

 

Jessica looked up from the cup she was cleaning, her face set in a look of boredom.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Wendy swallowed tightly, holding onto the resolve she had found earlier, between the trembles of Irene’s fingers and the hug that seemed to bundle her away from the world.

 

“I think I’ll go see her.”

 

Jessica looked entirely unsurprised, which given how she probably did hear the exchange Wendy had with the group of hooligans, was only to be expected.

 

(In this matter, Wendy was grateful.

 

She didn’t think she would be able to explain herself if Jessica asked.)

 

“You will?”

 

Wendy nodded tightly, taking yet another step towards her future on her own two feet.

 

“Yes. I should have done it earlier.”

 

The smile that greeted her wasn’t the one that Wendy was expecting. This one was filled with pride and understanding, filling her with confidence that was missing since all those months ago.

 

“Then I’ll go with you.”

 

Wendy nodded again.

 

(And just this time, she thought to herself.

 

This experiment was a good decision.)

 

*

 

Why?

 

Irene picked apart the situation earlier, her fingers running along the veins that were visible beneath pale skin.

 

If she focused, she can still feel the warmth Wendy had left behind when she held her tightly, gentle fingers that promised comfort and safety as she led her away from the group of guys who demanded everything.

 

She touched her wrist softly, taking in the ghost of a touch, missing the fleeting warmth garnered from the tight hug, a hug to reassure safety and love, the ache beneath her ribs cold and terrifying.

 

Why?

 

And then Irene thought of what Nana and Tiffany had tried to tell her.

 

And then-

 

Oh.

 

*

 

Jessica observed both of them carefully, each caught up in their own thoughts, their emotions plastered all over their face.

 

The flutter of pride she had felt earlier had yet to dissipate, still huddled tightly between the crevices of her bones, warming her insides. Her smile, though small, had remained long after Wendy’s decision, cemented firmly in her role at giving Wendy that push.

 

(This was what the Re:Life program was for.

 

This was what Jessica had wanted to help people with.)

 

She observed them quietly, with a smile on her face and she kept her hopes to herself.

 

Continue to move forward. Even if it may seem difficult.

 

Because you can be happy.

 

(And out of the corner of her eyes, she saw another pair embroiled in their own turmoil.

 

And she wondered.)

 

*

 

“This is an odd place for a meeting.”

 

Tiffany ducked under the branch, one hand brushing away the stray leaves that had settled on her cardigan. She took a look at her surroundings, a quiet sort of place, quaint and hidden away from the world, forgotten until a traveller looking for peace came through.

 

And Irene, sitting on the bench, with her face turned towards the sky that she loved, looked ever so peaceful, content in this alcove, even as her constantly twitching fingers gave her away.

 

She turned her head towards Tiffany, the setting sun painting a story on her pale face, beauty starting from the flutter of her eyelashes and ending at the curl of her lips. Irene shrugged and scooted over slightly to accommodate Tiffany, her voice whimsical in a way that matched their surroundings.

 

“I needed to think.”

 

Tiffany sat down, her knee knocking against Irene’s lightly.

 

“What about?”

 

Irene was silent, fingers drawing nonsensical patterns on the material of her pants.

 

“Irene?”

 

Tiffany leant forward, trying to see Irene’s face when the other girl spoke, just loud enough for Tiffany to hear.

 

“Do you remember what you said when we first started this?”

 

Tiffany’s back straightened, her easygoing expression melting away to a serious one, her lips tight on her face.

 

“When we started school or-”

 

“When we started the experiment, Tiffany.”

 

*

 

“It’s a good experiment. It will help you with how you view the world and help you change just enough to be able to be happy.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I’ll personally make sure of it.”

 

“Make sure that I’m happy?”

 

“Even if I have to fight the devil to do so.”

 

*

 

Irene watched as Tiffany blinked, the airhead schoolgirl persona hiding away and the person she had met all those months ago coming forward. It was a subtle change, Tiffany’s smile was still the same, but it was less open, filled with secrets and burdens that Irene could never understand, weary in a way that only an adult could be.

 

Tiffany let out a breath, bangs falling into her eyes, hiding away any truth Irene could have seen.

 

“Which part? I said a lot of things.”

 

Irene gathered her thoughts, feeling the ache between her ribs staunchly, painful and heavy.

 

“That by the end of this experiment, because of the medication that I took to revert back, the people around me will forget about me.”

 

Tiffany’s body stiffened, her face pulling into a careful sort of grimace.

 

“Yes, I do recall saying that.”

 

She knows.

 

Irene watched Tiffany intently, waiting for the other woman to break first.

 

(She can’t admit it.

 

If she does-

 

If she admitted it and-

 

Irene can’t.)

 

And she broke the silence first, her voice filled with quiet anguish as she figured out just exactly what Irene had to say.

 

“In order for this life to not clash with your real one when you return to it, the medication also acts as a virus that blurs and eventually destroys memories of you.”

 

There was this thing that Irene had read, where people could hear the shattering of a glass heart, of heartbreak being felt so intensely, your entire body just shut down. It was something Irene had brushed off as a fairy tale, an exaggeration of something that she could never understand.

 

But right now, as she was sitting there, she could.

 

She could understand why people would say heartbreak was one of the worst things the world had to offer.

 

Tiffany slipped her hand into Irene’s, gripping tightly to ground her.

 

(But it was wrong, the warmth wasn’t right, this was not what she wanted-)

 

Sitting there, with the sound of her heartbreak lost in the quiet around her, with the pieces of a puzzle that she has never learnt how to put together scattered on her lap, Irene looked at Tiffany, tears in her eyes and a confession on her lips.

 

“Then what was the point of falling in love if she won’t even remember that I love her?”

 

She doesn’t say the name, doesn’t want to give life to something that was never to be hers.

 

But Tiffany heard it anyways.

 

She heard it and she can’t say anything, only able to hold Irene’s hand while she cried quietly, cradling the future she had walked forwards for in her arms, love broken and hope lost.

 

(Wendy.)

 

*

 

“It’s a bit messy.”

 

Jessica murmured softly, adopting the tone that most people would in a graveyard.

 

Wendy nodded in agreement, bending her knees to kneel in front of the leaves strewn grave, hands brushing away the mess from the tombstone. They were trembling slightly, even as she traced the name engraved in marble, her regret spilling out of her like waves breaking onto shore, quiet and devastating, destroying every inch of Wendy without mercy.

 

Jessica knelt down beside her and plucked the weeds wordlessly, her arm sticking to Wendy. It was slightly uncomfortable but Wendy welcomed the gesture.

 

(Appreciated it.)

 

After months of running away, Wendy was finally facing her nightmares, facing the one person she couldn’t help, couldn’t reach out in time to save.

 

“Hey.”

 

She rubbed her thumb against the number two, blinking back tears as she struggled to find the words to say.

 

Jessica nudged their shoulders together, silently encouraging Wendy, her presence for once a balm rather than an annoyance.

 

Wendy took in a deep breath, closing her eyes to steady herself before speaking again.

 

“I’m sorry it took me so long.”

 

A chuckle escaped from her lips and Wendy could see the image of her senior in front of her, raising her fist threateningly, as though telling Wendy off.

 

“If you were here, you’d definitely have given me a knock on the head.”

 

She trailed off, gazing into the distance, lost in a memory of a time where it was easier.

 

(It was never easy.

 

It was difficult and terrible, a world filled with self serving adults that cared for no one else but themselves.

 

But there were small points in her life that made it better.

 

It was never easy.

 

But it was easier than it was hard.)

 

“Back then, I was naive. I thought I could- I never saw the way you’d endure it with a smile on your face because you thought it would be worse if you spoke up.”

 

Her hand formed a fist over her senior’s name, her nails scratching the stone.

 

“And because you asked me not to, I didn’t.”

 

Her voice broke, hoarse and heavy as she confessed in front of her senior.

 

“I didn’t and it’s something I can’t take back. I couldn’t help and now it’s too late.”

 

She sniffed loudly, valiantly holding back tears.

 

“It’s too late and now all I have are regrets and memories of you that have been tainted by something black and heavy.”

 

A tear fell on the ground in front of her.

 

“I should have helped you.”

 

Jessica’s arm wrapped around her tightly, drawing her away from the spiral she sent herself into. She took a moment to calm down, tears dripping down her face messily.

 

It took awhile but when Wendy finally spoke again, her voice was steady, filled with resolve from before, cemented by the step that she had taken for herself.

 

“I came to see you because I thought you’d like to see this step I took for myself.”

 

The corners of her lips tugged upwards and Wendy leant forward, pressing her forehead against her senior’s tombstone.

 

“Sunbae, I’m finally growing up.”

 

(Sunbae, I think I can finally try and forgive myself.)

 

*

 

“Thanks for accompanying me.”

 

Jessica watched the way Wendy had looked away, her tear stricken face hidden away from Jessica. Shaking her head, Jessica reached out and pressed her palm on the top of Wendy’s head, giving voice to the pride that had been clinging to her chest since the festival.

 

“I’m proud of you.”

 

Wendy peeked at her, a growing smile on her face and she accepted the head pat easily, their bickering put to rest just for the day.

 

*

 

“I’m glad.”

 

Jessica could hear Tiffany’s smile through the phone, even if the inflection in her tone indicated that there was something else she was worried about. Jessica smiled in response, taking care to thank the other woman for her idea.

 

“You can say it’s because of you. I won’t mind.”

 

Tiffany let out a soft laugh.

 

“I would but I won’t because I’m the bigger person.”

 

Jessica grinned, fingers clicking away on her keyboard as she typed up her report. On the other end, she could hear Tiffany doing the same, her quiet breaths filtering through the speaker.

 

She didn’t have to wait long for Tiffany to start speaking again, her heart dropping when she heard the defeated tone in Tiffany’s voice.

 

“Irene figured out that she’s in love with Wendy.”

 

“But?”

 

“She’s not going to say anything because she thinks it’s useless.”

 

Jessica could feel her heart seizing at the implication.

 

“Jessica, she thinks it’s useless because she would be the only one who remembers loving.”

 

Jessica’s hands stilled, picking up the phone on the table and switching it over to personal.

 

“But Jessica, that’s not the issue.”

 

The crack in Tiffany’s voice was loud in her ear, as this unexpected obstruction showed its face.

 

“Jessica, they both won’t remember each other.”

 

Jessica swallowed thickly, pressing the phone to her face almost painfully.

 

“Jessica, they will never remember who it was that helped them move forward in the first place.”

 

*

 

Her hand hovered over the keyboard before typing into the search bar.

 

How to stop loving someone.

 

Distance Yourself.

 

Irene stared at the page for the longest time, nails digging into her thighs painfully, the sound of her shattered heart still ringing in her ear.

 

(It was an impossible love.

 

It was a love that can’t be.

 

What was the point?

 

Why did she even-)

 

Wendy grabbing her hand and blowing on the burn.

 

Wendy smiling at her, bright and happy.

 

Wendy who was younger, and yet so dependable.

 

Wendy.

 

She took in a deep breath and started scrolling, reading the advice on the screen.

 

(This will also come to pass.

 

Who was she kidding?

 

Someone like her could never take a step forward.)

 

*

 

Wendy stepped into class, almost running into Irene who was trying to exit. Immediately, her lips pulled up into a smile, Wendy raising a hand to greet the other girl when Irene suddenly backed away rapidly. Blinking in surprise, Wendy could only watch as Irene retreated to the corner before taking a wide berth, exiting the room before Wendy could even speak up.

 

Wendy lowered her hand in confusion and looked around the class, spotting Nana in the corner. She raised an eyebrow in the blonde’s direction, only to have the other girl equally confused.

 

Shaking her head, she brushed it off as one of Irene’s quirks.

 

(Or that she just really had to go to the toilet.)

 

*

 

Wendy raised her hand to call Irene over, the sound dying in when Irene practically ran away from her. She turned towards Seulgi and Joy, questioning them silently about Irene’s behaviour. Both of them looked at each other before turning away quickly, Joy shrugging in response.

 

“Don’t ask me. You’re the closest to her.”

 

Wendy’s brow furrowed, now also worried about Joy and Seulgi’s behaviour, but had no time to dwell on it as Jessica had arrived at the table.

 

Shelving that issue for another time, she turned her attention at the blonde, gripping at Jessica’s sleeve quickly.

 

“Why is Irene acting so weird?”

 

Jessica raised an eyebrow and stabbed the croutons in her bowl.

 

“Weird how?”

 

“She keeps running away whenever I try to talk to her.”

 

Jessica popped the piece of bread into and thought carefully.

 

“Maybe it’s because she finally figured out what a dork you are.”

 

Wendy let out a sigh, rolling her eyes to high heavens, shaking her head at the blonde.

 

(Please give her the other Jessica back.

 

This Jessica was so unhelpful.)

 

“I don’t know why I asked you.”

 

She looked back towards the door where Irene had ran away, a heavy feeling settled in her chest.

 

(And missed the flash of guilt crossing Jessica’s face.)

 

*

 

The heavy feeling grew the longer Irene continued to avoid her, with increasingly risky stunts, where she could even try to climb out of the second floor window just to steer clear of Wendy in the corridor.

 

It burrowed into her stomach, taking place at the base of her spine, terrible and painful, when Irene barely looked at her in the eyes, face passive, devoid of any smiles that Wendy had come to appreciate.

 

And it took home in her heart when Irene snatched her hand away, having accidentally brushed past Wendy while trying to take something across from her.

 

(Just what was going on?)

 

*

 

“She’s sliding back into her old habits. She’s not talking to anyone but Nana and even then, it’s muted and distant.”

 

Tiffany glanced up at Jessica who was sitting at her table, the blonde looking on worriedly.

 

“If this keeps up longer than it has now, Irene will be right back where she started.”

 

Jessica murmured quietly, aware of the conversation they are having in class.

 

“Wendy’s not faring much better. She’s so confused that she is unable to do anything. I’m afraid that it will impact her negatively, being unable to help.”

 

Tiffany sighed, her eyes sliding over to her charge who was sitting by Nana quietly, unaware of Wendy’s stares from across the classroom.

 

“It’s already been a week. I don’t think we should let this go any longer.”

 

Jessica leant against Tiffany heavily, her hip pressing into Tiffany’s arm.

 

“You’re right.”

 

They both fell into silence, thinking about the ways they could push for a reaction when Jessica slapped her fist on her palm, her pale face brightening as she thought of something.

 

“Hey, listen up.”

 

She leant down and whispered into Tiffany’s ears, a wide grin on her face when she pulled away.

 

Tiffany blinked at her owlishly.

 

“Isn’t that a bit too much?”

 

Jessica scoffed loudly.

 

“The fact that you’re saying that to me concerns me.”

 

“Excuse you, I’m the conscience in this relationship.”

 

Jessica waved her off, pushing away from the table gracefully.

 

“Yeah, yeah, just help me set this up.”

 

Tiffany narrowed her eyes at the blonde but otherwise followed suit, murmuring under her breath the entire way.

 

“I hope you know that if anyone dies, I’m throwing you under the bus.”

 

*

 

Jessica (12:37pm):

Meet me at the stairwell.

 

Wendy (12:37pm):

??? This is ??? Vaguely threatening and disturbing???

 

Jessica (12:38pm)

Just come over, you overdramatic idiot!

 

Wendy (12:38pm):

Okay, but if I die, you need to make up a spy story for my family.

 

*

 

She grinned at her phone, feeling Jessica’s annoyance through the emoji that she had just received. Pocketing the device, Wendy made her way towards the stairwell, taking extra care to move as leisurely as she could.

 

Turning the corner, Wendy spotted Irene and Tiffany in the midst of what seemed to be an argument, Jessica nowhere to be found. Barely taking the time to think about this, Wendy flattened her body against the wall, peeking out slightly to try and eavesdrop on the conversation.

 

(How shameful.)

 

But she was too far away, Irene’s voice, even in the midst of anger, flushing down her neck and curling around her ears, was too soft.

 

Even Tiffany’s normally boisterous sound was muted, her arms flailing around, as though to make up for the lack of noise.

 

(Or was it the sound of her heart in her ears blocking out all sound, to the point where she could only see Irene?)

 

Even so, she drank the image of Irene in greedily, the pang that had been present at the base of her ribs pushing against her diaphragm with a vengeance. Her eyes raked down the planes of Irene’s face, the sharp edges of her jaw made even more prominent as she spoke, harsh words that were lost in the wind.

 

(What is it?

 

Why do you look so upset?

 

Why won’t you tell me?)

 

Wendy continued to watch, only moving when Irene shoved past Tiffany, the dark haired girl shouting after Irene.

 

“Hey! Just listen to me, damn it!”

 

“No! Just leave it alone, Tiffany!”

 

Tiffany grabbed at Irene’s upper arm roughly, intent on making her stay and talk about whatever it was that had Irene so upset, Wendy starting up the stairs just as Irene pulled her arm away. Her hair whipped around her shoulders, her soft voice carrying through the air.

 

All without noticing that her right heel had slipped off the topmost stair until it was too late.

 

Tiffany screamed.

 

“Irene!”

 

Without thinking, Wendy rushed forward, one arm going around Irene’s waist, the other coming up around her neck and shielding the back of the head. The momentum of Irene’s fall was far too much, too fast and they both fell down the short flight of stairs together, Irene landing heavily on Wendy at the bottom.

 

“Oh my god!”

 

Tiffany’s loud voice was the last thing she heard before she out.

 

(Vaguely, the last thing she saw was Irene looking down at her worriedly, brown hair framing her pale face.

 

I’m okay.)

 

*

 

“Are you sure she’s alright? I landed on her.”

 

What?

 

“It doesn’t seem like she broke anything but I would need to wait for her to wake up to see if she has a concussion.”

 

Who?

 

“Alright...”

 

Wendy twitched slightly, her prone body angling towards the dejected voice instinctively.

 

“You can stay if you like.”

 

There was a soft swish, as though a curtain has been drawn before her left side dipped slightly, warmth climbing up her arm from a gentle touch. This warmth drew a path cross her shoulder before lingering at her jaw and then-

 

Wendy opened her eyes just as Irene brushed her fingers past her nose, startling the quiet girl so badly she fell off the bed.

 

“ Oh my god! Irene!”

 

She reached out to help her off the ground but Irene waved her off, the red on her cheeks flaring obviously. Retracting her hand, Wendy watched as Irene situated herself on a chair beside the bed, feeling oddly empty at the distance between them. She continued to stare, wondering just when was she so reliant on the fact that Irene was always staring at her when decided to operate without the permission of her brain, the question that had been plaguing her slipping past dry lips.

 

“Why won’t you look at me?”

 

Irene flinched but said nothing, gaze still angled away from Wendy.

 

Not one to give up, Wendy reached out to place her hand on Irene’s knee, inhaling sharply when Irene jerked away, chair scraping loudly against the linoleum.Withdrawing slowly, Wendy blinked twice, feeling the tears at the corner of her eyes.

 

(Inside, a terrible feeling welled up, dark and all consuming, threatening to swallow her whole and drag her back to a place she thought she had taken a step out of.)

 

“Do you hate me or-?”

 

Irene’s head snapped towards her, eyes finally meeting Wendy’s.

 

“I don’t!”

 

Her cheeks flared crimson and her eyes flitted away again, leaving Wendy feeling emptier.

 

“I don’t hate you.”

 

Wendy’s fingers twisted the blanket tighty.

 

“Then why are you avoiding me?”

 

(Childish.

 

So childish.

 

But she can’t help it.

 

This twisted feeling inside of her.

 

She doesn’t like it.)

 

Irene fell silent again, her chin dropping down, visibly shrinking into herself, the younger girl biting on her lip as she ignored (refused to answer) the question. Wendy swallowed tightly, nails pressing into the palm of her hands through the blanket, willing Irene to answer with all her might.

 

Please.

 

But the silence stretched on, long enough for the hollow between Wendy’s ribs to widen, a chasm forming in the space where her heart rested, a carnage of a shipwreck making home beneath the darkness of insecurity.

 

Why won’t you answer?

 

She was midway to crawling into a hole, intending to her nonexistent wounds when Irene spoke up, hesitant and quiet, as though she wanted to keep the words between her lips.

 

“I don’t know what to do.”

 

Wendy blinked, the fog clearing away slightly as she grasped onto this problem that Irene was presenting.

 

(This was familiar.

 

Solving problems for Irene was familiar.

 

This was what she did for Irene.)

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Irene worried her lower lip between her teeth, muffling her words enough that Wendy had to lean forward to catch the snippets of truth that was unravelling from Irene’s heart.

 

“There’s something I want. I want it so badly that I am willing to-”

 

“What is it? I can help you with it.”

 

Desperation laced every word that exited Wendy’s mouth, her body tense with pent up energy.

 

(She wanted to spring from the bed and find this thing that Irene wanted.

 

If she gave it to her, then would Irene smile again?

 

Would she look at Wendy again?

 

Will this feeling-)

 

Irene shook her head, her eyes suspiciously shiny as she averted her gaze yet again.

 

“I can’t.”

 

Wendy’s voice was strained as she questioned again.

 

“Why?”

 

Irene shook her head, her fingers twisting on her lap.

 

“It’s not something I am allowed to have.”

 

“I can help you get it, you know I can-”

 

Irene cut her off, standing up quickly and moving towards the curtains, leaving Wendy’s pleas hanging between the silence. There was a look on her face that Wendy can’t recognise, ugly in a way that should never be associated with Irene who suited smiles and laughter better.

 

(Wendy wanted to reach out and wipe it away, wipe this expression that seemed to cause more pain inwards than it did for Wendy.)

 

“You can’t.”

 

A sharp pain resonated within Wendy, starting from the middle of her chest before expanding outwards, till she could feel nothing but the weight of Irene’s rejection in every corner of her body.

 

Irene’s shoulders shook, drawing the curtains away as she spoke haltingly.

 

“I’m going to get the nurse. Please rest well.”

 

And with that, she left, broken pieces of their growing relationship shattered in front of Wendy.

 

Why won’t you let me help you?

 

(And why did it matter so much to Wendy?

 

Just why-)

 

*

 

And it went on.

 

The world continued turning, the days ran past and Wendy continued to stare at a girl who refused to meet her eyes, a distance between them that she didn’t know how to traverse.

 

(If Wendy could, she would give her everything.

 

Because Irene deserved to smile.

 

She deserved laughter and joy and-)

 

*

 

It took awhile to notice.

 

Not that it was surprising, considering how focused she was on one person.

 

But she noticed it eventually.

 

That Seulgi had also taken to staring intently, all of her attention focused subtly on Joy, lingering on the planes of the younger girl’s face, looking away just as quickly when Joy turned towards her. An unnamed emotion swirled behind brown eyes, so frequently present that Wendy could see it burrowed in deep.

 

(Guilt clenched around her heart.

 

How long has Seulgi-)

 

She debated on asking Seulgi about it, torn between wanting to mend the bridges between the two friends and wanting to let it play out naturally.

 

(There was a small nagging voice, taunting her, sneering at her-

 

You can’t even fix your own problems, why would you stick your nose into their business?)

 

*

 

Wendy had barely taken the time to decide on confronting Seulgi when the girl walked up to her the next day and took her towards the back of the school, footsteps shuffling against grass as they made their way towards the area Jessica and Wendy often had their discussions. The building casted long shadows across the green of their surroundings, clouding Seulgi’s face, painting a thunderstorm across a plane that should be filled with sunshine.

 

She spoke haltingly, as though reluctant to give life to the situation she was in.

 

“I think Joy’s mad at me.”

 

Wendy waited for Seulgi to continue, watching as the other girl turned her thoughts into tangible sounds, drawing a picture for Wendy to see.

 

“Ever since the festival... She’s been distant. I did something, I think, and I made her angry.”

 

Heartbroken.

 

(Joy wasn’t angry, Wendy wanted to say.

 

Joy was jealous.

 

Filled with an ugly feeling that left her feeling guilty.

 

Filled with self hatred for being a coward.

 

For not being able to be honest.)

 

Wendy swallowed the words down and shook her head. She reached out and clasped Seulgi’s shoulder gently, pressing her fingers into flesh. She waited for Seulgi to look at her, taking the time that Seulgi took to do so to arrange her thoughts.

 

You can help them.

 

You’re capable of doing that now.

 

(She can.

 

She will.

 

She has already taken that step forward.)

 

“Seulgi, what do you think of Joy?”

 

Seulgi jerked back slightly, thrown by the sudden question.

 

“I’m sorry, what-”

 

Wendy smiled softly.

 

“It’ll answer the questions that you have. Trust me.”

 

Seulgi stared at her, head tilted to one side before letting out a breath. Seulgi lowered her chin and cast her eyes towards the ground before answering Wendy’s question - quietly, words pushing past lips with difficulty.

 

“She’s my friend.”

 

Wendy mirrored her friend’s head tilt, quirking an eyebrow at the turmoil present in that sentence. She let her hand fall from Seulgi’s shoulder, making home on her upper arm instead to give a reassuring squeeze.

 

“And what do you feel around her?”

 

Seulgi pursed her lips, pondering upon the question yet again before replying softly.

 

“Happy.”

 

Wendy prodded further.

 

“What else?”

 

“I don’t- Wendy, what’s the point-”

 

Wendy tightened her grip just a fraction, enough to ground Seulgi, away from the negative thoughts swirling.

 

“Think about Joy. Think and feel what you feel.”

 

Let yourself feel.

 

She held Seulgi’s gaze, silently urging her to believe, to feel-

 

(To take that step forward.)

 

Unbidden, Seulgi’s eyes slipped shut, mouth parting as she did as Wendy requested.

 

And then-

 

“It’s comfortable. Being around her. But it is never boring. I don’t think Joy could bore me if she tried because everything about her interests me.”

 

Wendy didn’t answer, letting her fingertips guide Seulgi through her emotions.

 

“I like spending time with her. I want to spend time with her. All my time if I could.”

 

Her grip loosened slightly, fingers barely clinging on.

 

“But just spending time is enough. We don’t have to do anything. Just being near her is enough.”

 

Seulgi’s eyelashes fluttered, slow and steady, a peek of a sunrise above the horizon, Wendy watching her with bated breath.

 

“Home. I feel safe and at home.”

 

She blinked once, twice, as Wendy watched, clearing the image of Joy from her mind’s eye.

 

And then, she gasped in realisation, tears pooling at the corners of her eyes.

 

(There we go.)

 

“I’m in love with Joy.”

 

Wendy grinned, squeezing Seulgi’s arm once again.

 

“And she’s been in love with you for a very long time.”

 

Seulgi’s face twisted in dread, her hands finding purchase on the edge of Wendy’s shirt.

 

“What do I do? I hurt her.”

 

But despite Seulgi’s fear, despite her hesitance, Wendy couldn’t help the growing smile on her face, steady in her way forward with a goal in sight.

 

I can help.

 

“Don’t worry, we have a plan.”

 

Seulgi’s expressive face immediately turned to one of confusion, eyes widening at Wendy.

 

“Wait, who’s we?”

 

“Anyone with functioning eyes.”

 

“Wendy!”

 

*

 

“And now, we’re going to help them.”

 

Four pairs of eyes looked back at Wendy before swivelling over to an abashed Seulgi, the girl lowering her head at the attention.

 

And then, Nana let out a snort, flipping blonde hair over her shoulder gracefully.

 

“Can’t believe it would take this long. Any slower and you’d be a turtle instead of a bear, Seulgi.”

 

Seulgi spluttered in embarrassment whilst Nana cackled goodnaturedly, the blonde reaching over to clap a hand on Seulgi’s back. Tiffany grinned and leaned back against her chair, her arm coming up to wrap around the back of Irene’s, the brunette looking over to the dark haired girl with slanted eyes before directing her gaze back towards Seulgi, maintaining her silence in the midst of her friend’s happiness.

 

“Well, finally the lovebirds got a clue. Well, one of them anyways.”

 

(And she was happy, Irene could tell.

 

There was no confusion lining the planes of her face, no dilemma that chased her shadows like they did when she had yet to figure herself out.

 

At the very least, she could be happy.)

 

Irene forced a smile on her lips, feeling the unnatural tug of her cheeks when the teasing grew loud, Jessica and Wendy also poking fun on the red faced Seulgi. A tap on her shoulder had her looking at Tiffany yet again, the black haired girl tilting her head in question. Huffing, she ignored the silent question, choosing to instead focus on what was in front of her.

 

(She still hasn’t forgiven Tiffany for putting her in that situation with Wendy.

 

Well intentioned or not.)

 

Not when her heart felt like it was about to explode when Wendy just wouldn’t wake.

 

Not when Wendy laid there, pale and unmoving and-

 

“What about the festival that’s coming up?”

 

She was pulled out of her thoughts when Jessica spoke again, catching the tail end of a plan that she had completely missed. The rest of them were nodding, Wendy looking especially thoughtful as she mapped out the idea.

 

“That’s a good idea. Soften her up a bit with the games and the food and then we leave them behind when it’s time for the light show and then BAM!”

 

She ended her sentence with a loud clap, sending most of them jumping off their seats slightly, whilst Nana scowled at her. Placing a hand over her racing heart, Irene looked at Wendy, drawn in by her enthusiasm, watching the way her smile took over her face, bright and amazing and altogether beautiful.

 

Her fingers curled tightly, fingernails digging past her shirt and into skin, the pain anchoring her to a reality that she knew would hurt her.

 

(She won’t remember you.

 

Don’t even think about it.)

 

Irene retreated into herself, barely contributing to the gaggle of noise that were her friends and continued to want, to long silently as she watched a love story unfold in front of her, mocking and terrible in the face of her own self made tragedy.

 

(She isn’t yours to want.)

 

And so she looked on sullenly, with the seeping cold of winter in her bones despite the summer heat.

 

*

 

“If they walk any further from each other, I could build the Great Wall of China between them.

 

Wendy elbowed Jessica in the ribs roughly, shushing her as the blonde continued to grumble whilst their wayward friends trailed awkwardly in front of them. Glaring at her, Jessica rubbed at her sides none too subtly, moving closer to Tiffany to complain.

 

“Seriously, how is the love story going to progress if there’s no interact-HRMPH!!”

 

Nana stuffed a large piece of churros into unceremoniously, her tall frame making it impossible for Jessica to dodge in time. She observed the blonde with a deadpan look before smirking slightly, head tilting to one side.

 

“What a beautiful silence. My ears are cleansed.”

 

Wendy stifled her laughter at the sight of Jessica’s rapidly reddening face, the blonde gesturing wildly (rudely) at Nana whilst trying to swallow the large piece of snack down. Beside her, Tiffany made no such effort to stop her laughter, guffawing loud enough to attract the attention of the people around them including-

 

“Oh my god! Jessica’s dying!”

 

Seulgi hurried over to Jessica, her hand wrapping around Joy’s wrist naturally as she made her way to the now choking Jessica, the frantic girl fluttering about the older girl.

 

“Someone do something!?

 

Tiffany continued to laugh at Jessica, doubled over from the force of her laughter, practically useless in the face of Jessica’s demise. Nana, the would be murderer, looked on calmly, gesturing towards the choking blonde.

 

“Anyone know the Heimlich Maneuver?”

 

Seulgi turned towards the taller girl.

 

“The what?”

 

“You know, the squeezing thing where you force the bit that’s choking you out.”

 

Nana mimed hugging and then surplexing with surprising ease before looking expectantly at the group. Wendy gaped before turning towards Jessica, eyes widening when Seulgi moved forward to do exactly that.

 

“Wait, Seulgi, that’s not-”

 

And promptly went slack jawed when Seulgi surplexed Jessica, earning a breath of laughter from Nana as Jessica crumpled to the ground.

 

And was promptly even more surprised when she swallowed the churros easily, no longer on the brink of death. Seulgi gasped, somehow also surprised and turned towards Joy (naturally, easily) in exclamation.

 

“It worked!!”

 

Joy stared at Seulgi in disbelief before gesturing towards the now prone Jessica, Tiffany prodding the still girl with her foot.

 

“I’m pretty sure you just killed her.”

 

Wendy ignored the both of them and knelt down by Jessica, somewhat relieved to hear the blonde groaning, albeit very much like a ghost from the Grudge-

 

(Wait, this wasn’t because she was actually a ghost and was now out for revenge?)

 

She placed a finger underneath Jessica’s nose and breathed a sigh of relief when she felt her breath.

 

“I can’t believe you’d listen to Nana, of all people-”

 

“It seemed like a good idea and no one else was doing anything-”

 

“I was too busy laughing at her untimely demise, thank you very much-”

 

“Joy’s right, you should never listen to me-”

 

Jessica groaned pitifully and made a gesture towards herself.

 

“Is anybody going to help me or should I just lay here in my pain?”

 

No one listened to her.

 

Stifling a giggle, Wendy patted Jessica consolingly as the other girl sat up, Jessica rubbing at her stomach gingerly while coughing. She looked at her other friends who were busy arguing, a corner of her lips ticking upwards when she saw that Joy had yet to let go of Seulgi’s hand, despite passionately telling the shorter girl why Nana was a menace.

 

“Sorry I’m late, the trains-”

 

They all stopped and turned towards Irene who was looking at them incredulously, her eyes darting from Jessica towards the rest of them.

 

“Did I miss something?”

 

At once, they all burst out laughing, save for Jessica who was scowling something terrible. Tiffany reached over and looped an arm around Irene’s neck, her voice loud and majestic as she prepared to regale Irene on Jessica’s shame.

 

“Well you see-”

 

And just like that, it was back to normal.

 

Somewhat.

 

*

 

(Later, Jessica would complain extensively that it was her sacrifice that made everything possible.

 

But that was much later.)

 

*

 

“Seems like they are doing okay now.”

 

Tiffany observed them from behind a humongous cotton candy that she had cajoled Jessica into getting for her, lips shining from the sugar she had just ingested. Wendy narrowed her eyes at the sight, shaking her head at this supposed adult and turned her attention back towards Seulgi and Joy who was walking ahead, oblivious to the fact that the rest of them had hung back.

 

Jessica snorted, still rubbing at her stomach with a scowl.

 

“They better be okay, since my stomach will never be the same again.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, drama queen, when they get married, I’ll personally write their vows to include your stomach’s bravery.”

 

“You little !”

 

Tiffany squealed and took off running, Jessica running after her with murder written all over her face, leaving Wendy to stare after them in disbelief.

 

(Really? They were working adults?)

 

Shaking her head yet again, she turned her head back towards the two remaining girls-

 

Wait.

 

“Irene, where did Nana go?”

 

Irene pointed in a general direction, her eyes wandering to a point above Wendy’s head.

 

“She said something about clearing out the shooting range of prizes.”

 

Wendy nodded, swallowing back the lump that had lodged in . She cleared awkwardly and pretended not to notice how Irene was slowly inching away from her, putting more space between them despite being jostled around by the crowd. Casting her eyes around for something to say, she caught Seulgi leading Joy towards where the light show would start, heart leaping at the sight of Seulgi finally gathering her courage.

 

Without thinking, she reached over and caught Irene’s wrist, pulling her along hurriedly.

 

“Come on, we’re going to miss the confession!”

 

(If she had turned back, she would have seen Irene blushing.

 

If she turned back, she would have gotten the answers to the questions that plagued her.

 

But she didn’t.)

 

*

 

Confess to her! It’ll be fine!

 

(Sure, Wendy, it would be easy if I could just open my mouth and speak with words.)

 

Words were the last thing on Seulgi’s mind at the moment as she was thoroughly entranced by the way the lights played on Joy’s face, casting shadows across the planes, lighting it in a way that could only be described as ethereal. Her eyes, currently trained on the dancing lights in front of them, held the world behind them, dark and rich, until that flash of light hit them. Then it was like looking at a stained glass with raindrops splattering across them, beautiful and mesmerising.

 

She was jolted out of her reverie when Joy pushed her slightly, her face red despite the relative darkness surrounding them, save for the light show in front of them.

 

“What are you staring at?”

 

Seulgi blinked and answered without thinking.

 

“You.”

 

“What!?”

 

Joy’s face flushed an even deeper red, the blush travelling up to her ears, glowing under the lights. She turned her head, body angling away from Seulgi and she muttered under her breath, feet rustling against the dirt floor.

 

“Stupid- I’m leaving-”

 

Seulgi’s hand shot out immediately, catching Joy’s wrist.

 

“No, please- Don’t go.”

 

*

 

Wendy crept closer, thanking God at this very moment for blessing her with such a short height.

 

(Unfortunately, God did not grant her superhuman hearing and thus her current dilemma with trying to get close enough to hear and yet far enough so that Seulgi doesn’t catch her.)

 

She craned her neck and watched as Seulgi merely stared stupidly at Joy, huffing through her nose when nothing happened for a good ten minutes.

 

And then-

 

“Ah, Joy’s leaving.”

 

Irene whispered softly, her shoulder brushing against Wendy’s, distracting Wendy with the warmth.

 

She cleared and turned her head just in time to see Seulgi stopping Joy from leaving, the shorter girl’s face screwing up, lips set in a line.

 

Wendy mumbled under her breath, her fingers reaching out and finding its destination.

 

(Clasped around Irene’s like it was normal.)

 

“Come on, Seulgi.”

 

*

 

Seulgi coughed lightly and gathered up her courage, bits and pieces of it that was scattered around her, mingled with the belief of her friends and the hope of a love returned. Tightening her grip, she stepped closer to Joy, almost pressing against Joy’s jaw. She exhaled softly and pushed her words straight onto skin, making sure to etch them deep in to avoid any misunderstandings.

 

“I like you.”

 

Joy started badly, her jawline colliding with Seulgi’s temple as she attempted to put distance between them. For each step she took, Seulgi took one to match, refusing to let Joy run away.

 

(She had come this far.

 

Might as well.)

 

There was a sob in Joy’s voice when she spoke, disbelief and objection weaving through her words.

 

“You like me?”

 

Seulgi nodded into her neck and pulled away, staring resolutely into Joy’s eyes. She pulled the hand in her grasp up to her own neck, placing Joy’s fingers against her racing pulse. With a steady voice, Seulgi stressed on her confession yet again, repeating what she had told Wendy to Joy.

 

“You’re my home.”

 

Joy stared at her, her eyes suspiciously shiny.

 

“You really mean that.”

 

Seulgi nodded, a smile crooking on her lips and a glitter of happiness in her eyes.

 

“I’ve never lied to you.”

 

There was a pause.

 

And then Joy started crying earnestly, tears rolling down her cheeks as she leant forward to hide her face in Seulgi’s hair.

 

“Wait, what- Why are you crying?! I’m sorry?!”

 

Joy pulled her hand out of Seulgi’s grasp and wrapped her arms around the shorter girl tightly, her head sliding down to the crook of her neck. Seulgi felt the press of tears on skin and she continued to panic, hands patting Joy’s back frantically as she tried to comfort the other girl.

 

“I’m really sorry?!”

 

Joy laughed, watery but joyous and she hugged Seulgi even tighter, whispering quietly into Seulgi’s neck.

 

“You’re an idiot.”

 

Seulgi stopped fretting, her arms resting around Joy’s waist, her chin propped on Joy’s shoulder.

 

“Is that a yes?”

 

Joy grumbled goodnaturedly, the both of them swaying on the spot.

 

“I didn’t hear a question.”

 

Seulgi hummed, burrowin