I shoved my phone back in my pocket, frustrated. Siyeon had a girlfriend, but was still flirting with me? She never mentioned anything about a girlfriend; she just kept coming on to me. What was the point? Just to break my heart?  Just because she was rich, didn’t mean she could flirt with whoever she wanted. Not only that, but the red-haired woman who I saw yesterday with the sleepy brunette was with another woman, too. Was she just playing with the brunette the same way Siyeon was playing with me? Did they just break girls’ hearts for fun? I felt Haseul’s hand on my shoulder. She gave me a couple of comforting pats. 

 

“It’s fine, Bora.” She hummed gently. “Forget her. She’s a .” I nodded, despite the pain. I really thought that Siyeon liked me. I really thought that a gorgeous, kind, sweet woman could fall for me. I was so stupid. So, so, so stupid. Life isn’t a fairytale, and no prince (or princess) was going to come save me. It was a nice fantasy to believe in, but I had to wake up. Siyeon was never mine, anyway. She’d never be mine. At the end of the day, she saw me as a girl, just another girl, who she could lure in with money. I should be happy that she found some other girl to toy with, since I’d be spared any more pain. I liked her a lot, but...she didn’t feel the same. 

 

“Can I just...can I head home?” I asked, my voice cracking in the middle of the sentence as tears welled up in my eyes. 

 

“I’ll cover for you, kiddo.” Haseul gave my shoulder one last motherly pat, then I retreated into the changing room and changed out of my work clothes. I called Yoobin, but immediately hung up. In my haste, I didn’t see the time until after I pressed the call button; she was in class at the moment. Then, I called Gahyeon, whose schedule I didn’t know. She picked up immediately, and I began to walk to the dorm that Yoobin and I shared. 

 

“Where are you?” I asked between sniffles once I left the cafe. 

 

“I just woke up.” She mumbled sleepily. 

 

“Great. Stay there. I need someone.” I hung up, not wanting to speak to her any more. Her caring heart would just make me cry, and I hated crying. I wanted to run back to the Fine Arts building, burst into the practice room, and be surrounded by my ex-dance crew. I wanted to dance into the night. I wanted to limp home with the rest of the girls. I wanted to help comfort Yujin when she was stressed, and I wanted to crawl into Seungyeon’s arms for reassurance. I wanted to hear Yeeun’s voice, telling me she’d beat up anyone who dared to hurt me. I wanted Yoobin to give me her tough love, kick me in the , and tell me I’d get through it. I wanted Gahyeon’s hugs- I’d get those soon, but it wasn’t the same. We weren’t in Insomnia together anymore. The girls still saw me as one of them, but...I wasn’t there. I wasn’t sweating and panting and drinking as much water as I could. My heart wasn’t pounding in time with loud bass, because there was none. There was just...me. I hated it. 

 

As soon as I burst through the door, I jumped onto Yoobin’s bed, where Gahyeon was sitting up, waiting for me. I wrapped my arms around her and burst into tears, crying into her shoulder. She hugged me tight; so tight, I could hardly breathe. She nuzzled her face into my hair, and let me cry my heart out. She didn’t ask what happened, although I’m sure she was desperate to know, but she knew me. Everyone in Insomnia knew me. I was the kind of person who needed to be hugged and loved when I broke down. Eventually, my sobs turned into sniffles, and I pulled back from her grasp a bit to talk to her. 

 

“Gahyeon, there’s so much, I-” I sniffled. “Siyeon is Lee Siyeon.” I broke down again in her arms. “Just look it up. I don’t wanna think.” I felt her arms shift around me as she looked Siyeon’s name up, and heard her gasp when she found what was upsetting me. “She...she was flirting with me, right? Or am I being stupid?” 

 

“I…gimme.” She took my phone out of my pocket. I let her. She knew how to unlock it. I pulled away a bit to watch her face as she read through Siyeon and I’s conversations. “She’s flirting. The note, the money, the texts...she’s flirting.” She sighed. “She’s a player, Bora. I’m sorry.” 

 

“I fell for her.” I sniffled. Gahyeon patted my back. “She’s with another girl...and the other girl was on a date with a different girl, and-” I tightened my grip. “-they looked so happy together, and now she’s dating someone else, and-”

 

“Take a deep breath, Bora. Everything’s gonna be okay.” She hummed. “And, uh...may I just say, you’ve got a better than this...Yoohyeon...girl.” I hit her playfully, and chuckled through gulps of breath. 

 

“I miss Insomnia.” I whispered. 

 

“We miss you, too.” She cradled my head against her chest as tears began to flow again. “We miss you so much, Bora.”

 

“I wanna come back.” I whimpered. 

 

“You know we’ll always take you. We’re family.” 

 

“I have to work, though…” I sniffled. “I can’t…” 

 

“I know…” She sighed. “I know.” 

 

“How’s Yujin?” I asked.

 

“She’s still hopelessly in love with Seungyeon, and no, Seungyeon still doesn’t know.” Gahyeon laughed. “Yeeun’s still a punk, in case you were wondering.” 

 

“I doubt that’ll ever change.” I giggled, still sniffling. 

 

“Since you’re home early…” Gahyeon hummed; I could tell by her tone that she was creating a plan in her head. “Get your dance clothes on, we’re going.” She pushed me off of her, and went to Yoobin’s closet to borrow some of her dance clothes. “You’re gonna get through this the old way. The best way.” She huffed, changing into Yoobin’s clothes. I undressed, and put on a long sleeved crop top and sweatpants. With that, we headed out of the dorm, hand in hand- after Gahyeon texted Yoobin to tell her what we were doing, of course. 

 

The hall that had the dance practice rooms was quieter than I remembered it being. There was only a soft thud of bass from one of the rooms; all the other rooms were empty. Gahyeon inserted her card into the dance room that had a huge banner splayed across the wall. From the girls who founded Insomnia a few years ago, to now, all members’ signatures were painted on the wall under it. I took a deep breath as I entered, and saw some of my friends’ belongings tossed in the corner. Gahyeon some music, and without a word, we began our usual stretching routine. It felt so good to stretch my muscles after so long. To feel the blood flowing, and feel the oxygen passing easily into my lungs. I watched Gahyeon return to her phone to change the song, and kept stretching while curiously awaiting the song she’d decide to put on. 

 

It was an older song, the first song we choreographed ourselves. I remembered how stressful it was, but I remembered the tears that we shed when we won competitions with it. We cried so much, and we practiced it all the time. Gahyeon and I easily found our spots in the formation, even without the other four girls. It was like they were right there beside us. My body remembered it perfectly, following every wave, roll, squat, and rotation like I’d never gone a day without practicing. “Again.” I whispered, looking at Gahyeon. The word Seungyeon, Yeeun, Yujin, Yoobin, Gahyeon, and I would yell constantly. The word we shouted out proudly late at night, deep into rehearsal. When we were falling apart, when we were battered and bruised, we’d shout for another run. We had to be perfect. Gahyeon ran to the speakers, and put the song on loop. We’d be here for a while, wouldn’t we?

 

“Kim Bora!” I flinched mid-roll at the loud voice, and the push to the ground that came shortly after. We were on our fourth run-through of the song, and I was already exhausted (it had been a long time since I practiced, and my stamina wasn’t anywhere near what it was while I was in Insomnia). I hit the ground hard, with a loud thud. When I looked up from where I laid on the ground, I met Yujin’s eyes. Peeking past her, I could see Yeeun, too. 

 

“Yujin! Yeeun!” I screamed, shaking off the shock, and hugging the girl who tackled me. 

 

“Are you back? For real?” Yeeun asked, jogging over and pulling Yujin off of me.

 

“She just needed a little emotional support.” Gahyeon explained for me. Yeeun held her hand out for me to take. I took it, and she pulled me up to my feet, dusting my shoulders off. “Dancing is the best medicine for her, after all.” 

 

“True.” Yeeun hummed. 

 

“Why are you guys here? I thought practice wasn’t until six?” I asked, glancing at the clock, which showed that the time was only about four o’clock. 

 

“Yoobin texted the group chat. She said that you and Gahyeon would be here, and that you might need some time with Insomnia as a whole again!” Yujin cheered. “Seungie and Yoobin are in class, but they’ll be here at around five. And then, we’ll all be together!” 

 

“I love you.” I chuckled, tearing up, and hugging Yujin. After what was probably too long to be socially acceptable for a hug, I held Yeeun tight. “And I love you.” I said with an extra-tight squeeze. I turned around and gave Gahyeon the tightest hug I could muster, beginning to shake with happiness. “And I love you.” 

 

“Wimp.” Yeeun laughed, patting my head. “Put it back on.” She commanded, gesturing to the speakers. Gahyeon wriggled free of my grasp, and turned the song back on. The four of us got into our positions, but then Yeeun spoke up over the music. “Wait a minute!” She ran in front of us. “Boombayah and Playing With Fire.” I looked around, and Gahyeon was already at the speaker. Oh, yeah. The four of us covered some Blackpink songs together. All of us were huge Blackpink fans, so we randomly decided who would cover each song, and who would follow each part. I heard the intro to “Boombayah” and rushed to Lisa’s spot, in the middle of the formation. 

 

“Good morning, Bo- Are you okay?!” Haseul jumped, seeing my skin littered with bruises, my hair a mess, and my minimal makeup covering dark eye circles. 

 

“Never better.” I chuckled. My reunion with Insomnia was perfect. It was everything I’ve ever wanted. We learned the choreography to “Bon Bon Chocolat” by Everglow as six, and I’d meet up with them to record it and put it online. Lots of tears were shed, and many more bruises were earned, but we shouted “Again!” with as much vigor and enthusiasm as we had before I left. I’d be a part of Insomnia again over the summer, we decided, and over breaks. I was in the Insomnia group chat again. 

 

Haseul gave me a disapproving look. “Did you hook up with someone?” 

 

“No.” I grinned, pointing to the dark bruise on my elbow, where I caught myself after slipping mid-squat. “Insomnia.” Haseul gave me a little round of applause. Insomnia was kinda...well-known around campus, and in the surrounding town. 

 

“Should I be expecting a resignation letter?” Haseul asked. I immediately shook my head. 

 

“No, no, I still need to work. I’m not going to be active with them during school, but during breaks, I’ll be active.” I grinned. “Except for right now. We just wanna film one cover, and we need six people...we’re filming tomorrow after my classes so…” 

 

“Good for you! Just don’t overwork yourself, kid.” She patted my shoulder. “Now go put your uniform on- Oh, and what do we do if Siyeon comes in today? Should I tell her you’re not available to serve her?” 

 

“Yeah. If she asks for me, tell her I’m busy.” I hummed, and entered the changing room. I put my earbuds in and “16 Shots”, and ran through the choreography just once before changing into my uniform. The girls told me to find a choreography I liked and to practice, record it, and send it to Yeeun, who edited and monitored our internet presence. I left the changing room, and went behind the counter, ready to work as usual. 

 

Then, she came in. Not Siyeon, but...that girl. The girl who was here with a red-haired girl a couple of days ago. She was here with the red-haired girl again, and they were holding hands. There’s no way the brunette didn’t know that her supposed lover was seeing another woman. She had to have seen the news. Surely, she had to be hurt. But...she didn’t seem hurt. They were just as affectionate as before; in fact, the red-haired girl was almost possessive of the brunette today. The brunette flipped her hair to the side, exposing a couple of angry-looking, dark hickies. I averted my gaze from them, and wiped down the machines, instead, not sure I wanted to know who those were from. Haseul went to take their order, but returned and tapped my shoulder. 

 

“They want you for a minute.” Haseul patted my shoulder. “You sure you didn’t do anything but high school and Insomnia?”

 

“Yes.” I laughed, and went to take their order. The red-haired girl’s hand was resting on top of the brunette’s hand. I debated whether or not I should bring up the whole...news issue. The brunette girl deserved to know she was being cheated on, but I didn’t want to ruin their relationship if it was going well. Although, it just wasn’t fair to the brunette to continue a relationship like this. I nervously took out my notepad, and asked for their order. 

 

“Yoo and I will have a slice of chocolate cake, and we’ll split your largest order of hot chocolate.” The red-haired girl said with a smile. The brunette, Yoo, grinned happily. 

 

“I, uh...saw you on the news.” I decided to bring up the situation as casually as possible. The red-haired girl rolled her eyes, while Yoo chuckled. 

 

“Siyeon’s just a friend of Minji’s.” The brunette explained, waving it off. “I had to go to that meeting as Siyeon’s date, since it would be embarrassing for her to go alone and meet with Jinsol and Jungeun. And even though someone told me to be her date for the day, that same someone got a little jealous.” She stuck her tongue out at the girl named Minji. The name sounded familiar, but I couldn’t care less. 

 

“Y-You’re-?!” My mouth hung open. She looked so different on the news. She was covered in expensive jewelry and designer clothes, but here…? She was bare-faced, wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans.

 

“It’s a bit of a shock, huh? I can’t go to a fancy five-star restaurant like this, though.” She shrugged.

 

“S-So, you’re not dating Si-” 

 

“Never.” Minji cut me off, digging her nails into Yoo’s hand. “Yoohyeon is mine.” She took her nails out of her girlfriend’s skin, leaving little red crescents from her nails. I breathed a sigh of relief…

 

...but the guilt hit me like a truck. 

 

I hadn’t been responding to Siyeon’s texts or calls. I had no reason to cut her off. She really wasn’t cheating. I overreacted. I should have asked. I should have asked her first. I shouldn’t have assumed she was playing with my heart. I should’ve known she was nicer than that. She was way too nice. 

 

“I’ll get your order ready.” I spoke softly. 

 

“Bora?” Yoohyeon asked, probably able to see the panic on my face. 

 

“It’s nothing, I’ll be right back with-” 

 

“Kim Bora.” Minji cut me off. My full name wasn’t on my nametag. I looked at her with wide eyes. How would she know my name? She lifted her hand from Yoohyeon’s and held mine. “Don’t worry. Siyeon likes you a lot, and I can see why, cutie.” She hummed, and put her hand back on Yoohyeon’s. “My Yoo is cuter, though, sorry.” She shrugged, and took her attention off of me, putting all her focus back on her girlfriend. 

 

I nearly ran behind the counter, and went into the changing room, where my phone was. I texted Siyeon as quickly as I could, and put my phone in my pocket before getting Minji and Yoohyeon’s order ready. 

 

Bora:

[I’m sorry for not answering :(] 

 

I felt my phone buzz, but I gave Minji and Yoohyeon their order before checking it. Minji was texting on her phone with one hand, her other hand still on her girlfriend’s hand. They both thanked me with a smile, and I was behind the counter again in a flash, opening my messenger app and seeing Siyeon’s response.

 

Si-Angel-Yeon:

[It’s okay, dear. I was worried about you, though :(]

 

Bora:

[I could tell :( I’m really sorry]

 

I put my phone back in my pocket, and Haseul looked at me with a confused expression. I rarely used my phone at work, and only had it for emergencies. “It’s Siyeon.” I began to explain. “She didn’t- She wasn’t actually with another girl. It was a misunderstanding.” I sighed. “I had to apologize. I overreacted way too much, and...yeah.” I folded my hands, and focused on the ground. 

 

“I’m sorry, Bora. Maybe I shouldn’t have even shown you the article…” She hummed sadly.

 

“No, no, you were looking out for me. Thanks.” I gave her a quick hug. I felt my phone buzz again. We weren’t busy, so I pulled it out. 

 

Si-Angel-Yeon:

[What time do you get off of work?]

 

Bora: 

[2pm, I get out early today :)]

 

Si-Angel-Yeon: 

[Guess I’d better get moving~]

 

Bora: 

[What? You’re coming now? I look like a mess today :(] 

 

I pocketed my phone, and silently vowed not to touch it for the rest of my shift. I knew Haseul wouldn’t mind, but it felt wrong to be using my phone at work; even if I had a really good reason for using it. I glanced at the clock: 12:45 in the afternoon. I chewed on my lower lip nervously, running my fingers through my hair to smooth it out a bit. 

 

“Is everything okay?” Haseul asked cautiously, watching me struggle to get my hair to cooperate. 

 

“Nope. Siyeon’s coming. I’m a mess.” I whimpered softly, trying to avoid attracting the attention of Siyeon’s friends. Although, it was a little odd that the three of them were in the cafe a couple of days ago and never even acknowledged each other’s presence. I never asked about Minji’s date to that dinner either, but fixing things up with Siyeon was far more important. I could ask questions later.

 

“Oh dear.” Haseul visibly cringed, taking in all my bruises. “You didn’t happen to bring makeup with, did you?” I shook my head frantically. Her brow furrowed in thought, trying to figure out how to fix...everything. 

 

“Okay, okay, what if I just hide? She gets here, you tell her I’m on break, and she’ll go back to work, and I’ll meet her tomorrow when I don’t look like I got beaten up on the way here. Sound good? I think it’s a good plan.” I grinned, and sat down on the ground right behind the counter, so I’d be out of Siyeon’s sight. Haseul just laughed, and kneeled down next to me.

 

“The longer you wait before sorting this out like an adult, the more stressful it’ll be for both of you. Do you want to stress Siyeon out?” 

 

“No…” I mumbled. 

 

“Then talk to her when she comes in. Get some answers, and give her some answers. Clear the air.” Haseul said gently, then stood back on her feet. I stayed hidden for a few moments, then popped up next to her, looking like a sad puppy. I glanced over at Minji and Yoo, who were laughing about something. Hopefully not me.