BEFORE READING: We're all suffering, we're all in pain. My heart is breaking, I keep crying whenever I'm alone. I don't want to be disrespectful by posting this. I just wanted to share the first chapter with my readers since I had it ready in my drafts before this whole mess happened. Plus, I know some of you need a distraction. Meanwhile I'll be praying for Ri to be innocent. I'm sure that if the police proves he's not the bad guy the media makes him out to be he will renew his contract so we shouldn't worry about BB. Just... pray for him to be innocent.

Lee Seunghyun, better known as Seungri, has always been a sickly child - no, he wasn't suffering from anything serious, his immune system was simply too weak. This made him grow skinny and shorter than the other kids who he barely interacted with. His poor health made him skip school constantly and he just couldn't socialize properly. That's why Seungri wasn't upset when his family moved from Gwangju to Seoul - he had no one to miss. 

The boy was fifteen when he met Youngbae who's mother was a colleague of Seungri's mom. He was quite different from Ri, mainly because of his great health. Nothing could bring Bae down, not even the toughest cold. This made him the perfect friend who would sit beside Seungri's bed when he's sick and help him with his homework. Youngbae was buff and strong even at that age, unlike Seungri who was skin and bones .

"Bae hyung" was his only friend but he didn't mind because it seemed as If he was the only teenager who could tolerate how fragile and awkward he was. But things got better. By the age of seventeen Seungri's health got better, he even started gaining weight, turning his cheeks adorably round and pink. Yet he was still lacking social skills due to the long years of loneliness. He felt weird around everyone else except for Youngbae. The buff boy was the only person he could trust.

But this changed one cloudy autumn day when the seventeen year old Seungri made his way to usual hangout spot - the tree house Ri's father built for the two boys. Instead of his best friend Seungri found a handsome boy with feminine features sitting cross legged on the floor and looking through their shared collection of comics. The stranger's skin was porcelain white and just as perfect, making Seungri despite to touch it. The boy looked up with sparkling doe eyes and Lee lost his trail of thoughts as if something ran him over, leaving him breathless. He couldn't let out a single word despite his pathetic attempt.

"Youngabe told me to wait for him here." The beautiful stranger explained "I'm Jiyong."

This is how Seungri met Jiyong - his other best friend. Ji was two years older than him and a few months younger than Youngbae. The two of them met at university and quickly hit it off. How wouldn't they? Youngbae and Jiyong were the most precious people Seungri had ever known.

Jiyong was the more feminine, delicate one. He knew how to make people feel special with just a touch or a look. The boy just had this magnetic aura, drawing you in. Seungri would describe him as a flower. Pretty, gentle, sweet. There was truly something royal about the way he carried himself. 

On the other side, if Seungri had to describe Youngbae he would use the word "spicy". Bold, wild, warm. There was fire dancing behind Bae's kind eyes and it went too well with Jiyong's calmness. Yin and Yang.

"Oh... you're early." Seungri was surprised when he went to the tree house earlier than usual and he found Jiyong sitting by the small window, drawing in a sketchbook 

"I'm always this early. I finish classes earlier than Youngbae hyung."

Since that day Seungri was always early for their daily meetup. He just loved spending time with Jiyong and most importantly being drawn by him since he got to feel his gaze on himself. Knowing Jiyong is completely focused on him made Ri feel all warm and fuzzy inside in a way he couldn't explain. They talked for hours... about life, death, love, art -all the things he couldn't discuss with the always cheerful Youngbae.

Seungri wasn't jealous when he noticed Youngbae laughing extra loud at Jiyong's jokes or when the younger one's lingered over his knee and up his thigh. Ri adored them too much, he saw them as two absolutely perfect people who were meant for each other. He even encouraged Youngbae to confess his feelings to Jiyong when his best friend finally admitted to having feelings for the pretty boy. In Seungri's eyes this was natural and beautiful. There was no bitterness in him, just genuine happiness for his two best friends.

Youngbae and Jiyong were blooming with every single kiss. Seungri was slowly starting to miss the days when it wasn't all about the perfect relationship and  they were all equal. The two men were undoubtedly relationship goals but why was he feeling like this? Why could he swear he was left out when he was sitting right beside them?

Seungri hated himself for letting his ey