broken hearts

hold me tight tonight, please

As Mina got up squealing in delight for her winning another game, Jihyo groaned so loudly that she bet that even her parents had been able to hear her from the living room.

 

However, the only thing she could do was blame herself for suggesting to play Mario Kart in the first place, knowing damn well Mina was too good at it while she, on the other hand, was a total mess.

 

Even when Mina asked her if she was sure she wanted to play it, Jihyo had been so focused on showing her she could be a worthy competitor that at the end it was her pride talking for her and accepting the challenge.

 

Now, as Mina celebrated her fifth victory and Jihyo was left doubting all her life choices, she realised that, perhaps, next time she should be more careful when it comes to Mina and games.

 

Even then, though, Jihyo didn't mind seeing her win. The sight of a grinning Mina was always a pleasure for her eyes; something she intended to treasure in her mind as long as she could.

 

What slightly irked her was having to listen to Mina teasing her the whole afternoon until she eventually got tired.

 

The thing is that Jihyo was glad Mina felt so comfortable around her that she could without overthinking the whole thing too much; still, the problem was the way Jihyo would get so flustered every time she did it, basically giving her crush on her away.

 

Lately, Jihyo had been wondering whether Mina had caught up on it or not. After all, if you were to ask any of their friends, they would say that it was pretty evident that Jihyo liked her as more than a friend.

 

So, Jihyo had been trying to understand if the girl was just too oblivious or if she knew about it but decided against speaking of it so that she wouldn't reject her and break her heart in two.

 

Honestly, Jihyo hoped that Mina had no idea she had feelings for her. That way, everything would be easier and less awkward.

 

"Earth to Jihyo, don't go all daydreaming on me again please."

 

Mina's amused words were enough to bring Jihyo back to reality while, once again, she felt her cheeks get warmer and warmer.

 

She found herself staring right into Mina's eyes, and she couldn't stop herself from looking into them for a bit too much.

 

"I'm sorry," Jihyo mumbled faintly, a hand grazing the back of her neck. "I promise I'll stop from now on."

 

Although Jihyo tried her best to look serious, Mina ended up giggling. Did she say something funny to her?

 

Upon seeing Jihyo's lost expression, Mina swiftly sat next to her on the bed and turned her way. She brought up a hand to Jihyo's face to caress her furrowed eyebrows; Jihyo couldn't help but freeze at Mina's soft touch.

 

"You shouldn't make such a promise, you know? There's nothing wrong in getting caught up a bit too much in your thoughts."

 

Her voice was so soothing that Jihyo felt like she was falling in love all over again and there was no way she was ever going to stop. Mina's eyes softened, and she smiled tenderly at her, making Jihyo's heartbeat quicken all of a sudden.

 

"But one day, you have to tell me what it is that worries you so much. I don't like seeing you upset about something I don't know and can't do anything to help you with."

 

At that point, Jihyo wanted to shout that the reason why she always looked so troubled was that she was terrified of losing her because of the way she felt for her. Something Jihyo could not accept.

 

If she were to lose Mina, she would feel lost, as if a part of herself was missing.

 

Jihyo didn't want to feel like that.

 

Even if it meant her friends would keep reminding her of the coward she was for not confessing, she didn't care; if keeping Mina from knowing about her feelings meant that she wouldn't lose her, Jihyo was willing to hide them for the rest of her life.

 

As she looked at Mina, she smiled gloomily, knowing too well that her next words were nothing but a lie.

 

"One day, maybe I will."

 

-

"Finally, look who's decided to show up!"

 

Jihyo didn't need to look up to know who had just so sarcastically spoken to her. She could recognise Nayeon's voice everywhere; she had yet to decide whether that was something positive or not.

 

Making her way towards the usual table where her group of friends and she would always meet up at their favourite café, she checked her phone to see if she had gotten any messages from Mina. Before meeting with her other friends, she had texted her asking if she wanted to join them; however, Mina hadn't seen the message yet and Jihyo felt discouraged knowing she most likely wouldn't read the message in time to hang out with them since she was well aware of how little time the girl spent on her phone.

 

Once she reached the other girls and sat down with them, she found herself in a situation she was pretty much used to by now and which, in her opinion, was absolutely annoying: being the fifth wheel.

 

On her right, there was a smiling Jeongyeon and a pouting Momo who was trying so hard to convince Jeongyeon to buy her an ice cream despite the cold weather; still, such act was not needed since everyone knew that the older girl would buy it for her anyways just because she would do everything to make her girlfriend happy.

 

While, on her left, she could see Nayeon doing her best to catch Tzuyu off guard and kiss her in front of everyone. Needless to say, each time she tried to do so, Tzuyu would smack her arm and shush her with a roll of her eyes. Sometimes, Jihyo wondered how the two ended up dating and had been together for more than three years.

 

"This is exactly the reason why I haven't hung out with you lately," Jihyo groaned annoyedly, kicking a leg of the table they were sat at with her right foot. "All you do is act all lovey dovey while I'm left here watching you."

 

Nayeon scoffed loudly and slumped back on her chair, finally leaving Tzuyu alone.

 

"You're just jealous," she stated, while the atmosphere got a little bit tenser. "If you would just ask Mina out, you wouldn't be complaining so much. But wait! You're a scaredy cat so you'd rather stay single forever than actually confess to her."

 

"Nayeon..."

 

Tzuyu's attempt to calm her girlfriend and avoid a fight between the two girls was totally ignored by Jihyo who decided to spat back at her instead.

 

"If I had known we would be talking about this again I wouldn't have come here in the first place." Jihyo hissed at her.

 

Her naturally kind behaviour had now disappeared to let out another side of her; one her friends knew too well and had no intention to deal with.

 

All, but Nayeon.

 

"Guys, calm down, please" Jeongyeon tried to ask them, but once again, they didn't seem to listen to her.

 

"Why? Because you're scared to face the truth?" Nayeon laughed bitterly. "Very mature of you, Jihyo. Really."

 

"Someone please stop them," Momo whispered after bringing a shaking hand to .

 

Nayeon was the only one who had the guts to face Jihyo and, whenever she would do it, nothing good would come out of it.

 

"Excuse me, last time I checked I could choose for my own self," Jihyo snapped at the other girl; she was getting angrier and angrier and so was Nayeon. "Plus, I don't need you to tell me what to do with my life. Ever heard of something like minding your own business? You should try."

 

That last phrase seemed to trigger something in Nayeon who suddenly got up from her seat, while her chair fell to the ground. The unexpected movement made Jihyo stand up as well.

 

The two were now furiously staring at each other while the attention of the other customers was on them. Jeongyeon shot up and tried to made the both of them sit down again, but her words went completely unheard.

 

"Tzu, do something, that's your girlfriend," Momo muttered to the girl facing her with a frown.

 

"It's exactly because she's my girlfriend and I know how she is that I'm not doing anything," Tzuyu replied quickly. Even if she was trying to keep her cool, it was evident she was getting worried as well.

 

"So, let me get this straight," Nayeon said with an apparent calm that was hinting to a sudden outburst. "I'm trying to help you and you tell me off? Are you serious?"

 

"Nayeon, just let it go please, you know she didn't mean it," Tzuyu tried to make her girlfriend reason. She tugged at her hand to make her sit, but Nayeon's rage was blinding the girl from her surroundings.

 

"But have I ever asked for your help?" Jihyo questioned her. There was venom in her words; a hint that if they kept going on like that things would take a very bad turn. "I really don't need you to lecture me about how I handle my feelings every time we hang out."

 

"I'm not even lecturing you!" Nayeon shouted unbelievably, shooting her hands up in the air. "I'm looking out for you, can't you see that?"

 

"Sure you are," a chuckle escaped from Jihyo's lips. "Well, Nayeon, you have a really weird way to show it then. Might as well find another way, right? Perhaps by not making me feel like every time we talk about it?"

 

Jihyo saw Nayeon get ready to reply to her with just as much anger; however, the moment she opened to do so, she closed it and looked at the ground.

 

The mere act brought confusion among the other girls; Jihyo was still too annoyed to understand what was happening, while Jeongyeon, Momo and Tzuyu didn't know whether they should be glad the two might be stopping quarrelling or be even more nervous.

 

Then, another voice was heard, one none of them was expecting to hear, breaking the awkward silence surrounding the group of friends.

 

"Can someone tell me what's happening?"

 

As soon as Mina spoke up, four heads turned her way to see her standing slightly behind Jihyo. Her eyes were moving frantically among the five friends, including Nayeon who kept her head lowered, and her eyebrows were furrowed, in an attempt to make out what was happening.

 

Jihyo felt herself freezing when she saw her standing there. Did she listen to what they had said? Did she know about her feelings for her? Was it too late now to suddenly move to the other half of the world?

 

Apparently, Momo seemed to read right through her and, after regaining her composure, she asked Mina when she had arrived and how she knew they were there.

 

Mina kept looking among the five friends, before settling her eyes on Jihyo. It seemed like her eyes were talking to her; like they were asking her if she was okay.

 

"Jihyo invited me," she answered after some seconds. "And I've just arrived."

 

"So you didn't hear anything, right?"

 

This time it was Tzuyu urgently asking her that question. Jihyo looked back at her and saw she was standing near Nayeon, holding her hand firmly.

 

"Just Jihyo saying Nayeon makes her feel like every time you talk about," there was a moment of silence in which Mina looked quite pensive, before she continued with an unsure voice. "I don't know what, actually."

 

"It was nothing," Jihyo hurriedly declared, speaking up for the first time since Mina had arrived. "We were just bickering about whatever."

 

Mina looked at Nayeon for confirmation when she looked up at her. At first, Nayeon was indecisive of what to do, but at the end she just gave her a fake smile and nodded her head.

 

"You know how much I like bothering this one."

 

Mina nodded her head at that; finally, she smiled, but Jihyo saw that it did not reach her eyes.

 

There was another beat of silence before Jeongyeon took control of the situation.

 

"Shall we sit down now?" she asked, grinning lightly. She hoped it would lift the mood a bit, since they were all being awkwardly quiet. "Mina, do you want an ice cream?"

 

The girl in question looked at Jeongyeon weirdly, before asking: "Who eats ice cream during winter?"

 

The pout on Momo's face at her question was enough to make most of them giggle and finally loosen up a bit.

 

All, but Nayeon and Jihyo.

 

-

"Jihyo?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"Can you make some space for me, please?"

 

When Mina's words reached Jihyo, she suddenly opened her eyes and stared at the girl warily through the faint light coming from the semi closed window.

 

Once again, Mina had asked Jihyo if she could stay over at her place for the night. Nevertheless, this time her reason was quite different.

 

Her parents were currently in Seoul, but Mina wanted to spend some time with her, and, since school was keeping them more busy than usual, she thought the best way to hang out together was to have a sleepover.

 

Yet, none of them had considered that they would be so tired because of all the homework they had to hand in that they went to sleep sooner than they had expected. 

 

"Sure, come here" Jihyo mumbled sleepily, moving over a bit so that Mina could fit in the bed.

 

The girl swiftly laid next to her, she positioned herself on her side so that she was facing her. Although Jihyo couldn't see quite well, she could still make out the hypnotising perfume of the girl, intoxicating her until she could understand nothing and she had to close her eyes and beg her mind to make her fall asleep.

 

She didn't know how much time she spent faking to be sleeping, when she heard Mina's delicate hand come in contact with her cheek gently.

 

Was she caressing it? Did Mina think she wasn't awake? Was that why she was doing it?

 

The thoughts started racing in Jihyo's mind and she could feel herself feeling hotter and hotter because of Mina's sudden breath on her neck, meaning the girl had gotten closer to her on purpose.

 

She didn't know how much time she could keep going on like that, especially when Mina was now making out the outline of her lips with her oh-so-soft fingers.

 

Thankfully, it was Mina who took it upon herself to wake her up when she whispered her name and slightly shook her right shoulder.

 

Stretching slowly with her eyes still closed, Jihyo faked a yawn, before opening them to find Mina staring at her. Only then, she realised how close they actually were. Their noses were almost touching and she was pretty sure that if she moved even just one inch their foreheads would touch.

 

"Yes?"

 

Although Jihyo tried her best to act like she didn't know what was happening, she couldn't stop her voice from trembling when she spoke up, making her look down in shame after cursing mentally at herself for her little self-control.

 

Mina seemed to ponder on what to say or how to say it. After some seconds, she just disregarded all of her doubts and went straight ahead with her question.

 

"What's going on with you?"

 

Jihyo knew that Mina didn't mean to sound so harsh, especially because right after saying that she just sighed and passed a hand through her hair in frustration.

 

Jihyo would love to answer honestly, to tell her what was really happening to her so that she would finally feel at peace; but the truth was too much and Jihyo just wasn't ready to let it all out.

 

"What do you mean?" she faked innocence, looking at her with big, confused eyes. "I'm completely fine."

 

In any other occasion, Jihyo wouldn't be so proud of herself for completely lying to Mina; however, this time it was more than necessary.

 

Since Mina wasn't satisfied with her reply, she inquired once more if she was really fine and once again Jihyo did her best to act like she didn't have any clue about what she was saying.

 

"Why wouldn't I be?"

 

Usually, after being bombarded with question Jihyo did not want to answer to, she would get a little bit on the defensive, like she did with Nayeon. But when it came to Mina, Jihyo didn't have it in herself to be harsh with her and hurt her.

 

"You're always spacing out lately," Mina explained; even if she didn't want to show it, Jihyo knew she was having a hard time confronting her.

 

Mina never really had to ask Jihyo what she was going through since the girl would just tell her everything. Sometimes, she would call her just to tell her how pissed she was that she had gotten a lower mark at school than the one she had expected.

 

Those were little things some people wouldn't even care about, but Jihyo did and she always shared it with Mina. Hence, why the girl didn't know how to approach her now that she wasn't opening up to her.

 

"That's nothing, really." Jihyo tried to shake it off by smiling a little. Nevertheless, all her attempts were vane.

 

"But the other day you fought with Nayeon." Mina stated; the look of worry in her eyes told Jihyo that the Japanese girl had probably been overthinking about that fight for some days by now, waiting for the right moment to ask Jihyo about it.

 

"That's wasn't a real fight Minari. You don't have to worry about that."

 

No matter what Jihyo said or how convincing she sounded, Mina was not buying any of it.

 

"Jihyo." she said a bit more seriously. The way she said her name was enough to make her gulp nervously. "I know you and I know what you're like when you're angry. That was a really fight. I just— Why were you angry at her?"

 

This time, Jihyo couldn't help but breathe out a deep sigh. Her argument with Nayeon wasn't something she was proud of, much more like something she was trying to erase from her memory seeing as the two were still having some problems communicating after it.

 

"She just said something that made me angry." Jihyo thought that was the most honest she could be with Mina at that moment, and when she saw the girl starting to talk again, she was quick to interrupt her. "But it doesn't matter, really."

 

"Is it serious?" was the only thing Mina said, and when Jihyo didn't answer and only looked at her with regretful eyes, she continued: "So it is... I don't know what to do, Jihyo."

 

Hearing those last few words struck something in Jihyo.

 

She got even closer to Mina, if that was possible, and placed her hands on her shoulder, squeezing them lightl.

 

"Mina, you don't have to do anything," she said while looking in her eyes. She hoped Mina would be able to calm down after that, but she was proven wrong once again.

 

"Yes, I do! I don't like seeing you like this," she replied frustratedly, taking Jihyo's hand off of her shoulders and holding them tightly. "Something is clearly bothering you. It has been for awhile, but I can't do anything about it and it pains me."

 

Jihyo was frozen. The sincerity in her words, the hurt in her eyes; it all made her realise that by hiding her feelings for her, she was doing the opposite of what she wanted.

 

She had been so scared that confessing her feelings to her would destroy their friendship that she didn't realise that by lying to her about them she was just slowly distancing herself from her and Mina could feel it.

 

She had been foolish and she had put their friendship in danger.

 

She blamed herself for the tears that were forming in Mina's eyes. She wanted to stop her, tell her all the truth; tell her that she still trusted her, and that she loved her.

 

Perhaps, it was the only way to stop hurting her.

 

"Are you really that worried for me?" she asked astonished. She still couldn't come to believe how much Mina cared for her.

 

She didn't know why, but knowing Mina cherished her so much was giving her hope that maybe, just maybe, there was a possibility that she returned her feelings.

 

"Of course," Mina declared like it was the most natural thing ever, like it was impossible for her not to care about Jihyo.

 

Jihyo was feeling more and more faithful and she smiled truthfully for the first time that night. It wasn't a big smile like the one she would usually give her, but it was a smile of someone who had found hope again.

 

Sadly, just as Jihyo was finally building up the courage to confess, all her hopes were crashed to the ground when Mina added: "You're my best friend, I'll always worry for you."

 

A moment of silence.

 

Followed by another one.

 

And another one.

 

And another one again.

 

But if you listened carefully, you could hear a heart break into a thousand pieces. And you could see a girl trying her best to fight the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

 

Jihyo felt like she had just been shot through the heart and she had lost all of her senses. She couldn't find the strength to speak or move or do anything at all.

 

She just laid there on her bed, completely frozen.

 

Her sight had gotten blurry and she couldn't make out Mina's features anymore. Not like she wanted to anyways, looking at the girl would only bring her more pain than the one she was already in.

 

When Mina started to call her name, she just interrupted her coldly: "Let's just sleep."

 

She turned the other way so that she wasn't facing Mina anymore and she started crying silently.

 

"What? Did I do something?"

 

Mina's voice seemed distant and, even though she was next to her, Jihyo couldn't quite comprehend what she was saying.

 

The pain was taking over all her senses.

 

"You didn't, I'm just tired," she said, trying to mask her broken voice by pushing her face onto the pillow so that it would come out muffled. "Please."

 

She knew Mina was probably debating whether she should push Jihyo to talk to her or let it go. Eventually the girl decided that the latter was the best option as she said simply wished her a goodnight and proceeded to turn the other way as well.

 

That night, Jihyo didn't sleep, and when their closeness became too suffocating, she just got up and laid on the couch in her living room where she could finally let out all her emotions.

 

The next morning, when Mina woke up, Jihyo's parents told her she had gone out early to hang out with some friends.

 

After that, Jihyo only kept drifting more and more away from her.

 

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Thank you!
myouicherie
hello ^-^ i know it’s been awhile since i’ve last updated this story and i’m very sorry :( i just had this huge writer’s block and lost all kind of inspiration :/ but now i’m back!!
hope you like this chapter and i’m already working on the next update :)
see you soon ♡

Comments

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Pancheetoz
#1
Chapter 5: Great work, authornim!! I love your work !!!
Pancheetoz
#2
Chapter 5: Istg I’m really swerving to Mihyo right now, minayeon is my ult ship but mihyo, mihyo is giving me all the feels for now🥺
Pancheetoz
#3
Chapter 5: AHHHDJHFJFHDJTJDJFHRJFJDJR FINALLY!!
“Mina trusted Jihyo.”
“And she was proven right the moment she looked through the peephole
of the door and saw her there: her Jihyo.”

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS FIC 😩
Pancheetoz
#4
Chapter 4: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTIGJTLFKRJIDKRJFJRR MY HEARTTT- ITS JUMPING ALL SO HAPPILY AND AND AND HDHKDUSKUDJEJF I LOVE THE WAY HOW JIHYO WOULD ENDLESSLY DREAM HOW SHE’LL CONFESS TO MINA AND AND SHE’D ALWAYS FEEL SCARED WHAT MINA WOULD FEEL
AND REPLY AND THERE SHE HAS IT, SHE OPENED HER HEART AND CONFESSED ALREADY !!🥺🥰🥳
Pancheetoz
#5
Chapter 3: Poor Dahyunnie, I love the fact she tried her best to encourage Jihyo so she wouldn’t make the same mistake she’s done. I love SaChaeng but omg, Dahyun being there would hurt me at all costs. Jihyo, please please confess your love soon! Or it’ll be too late 😭🥺
Pancheetoz
#6
Chapter 2: NOOOOOO- Jihyo was like 95% getting ready to confess until Mina had to say the “You’re my best friend” line 😭

Nayeon and Jihyo’s argument got me all— THE TEA IS HOT THE TEA IS HOT

I love how your write authornim !!
Pancheetoz
#7
Chapter 1: Fluff mihyo hours, best hours 🥺🥺
ItzJeKpop #8
Oh yess ik this one i read this from wattpad HAHAHAHHAHAHA
NaniKore
#9
Chapter 5: Ive read this story like 10 times :o so gud!!!
Weissn1
#10
Chapter 5: yay mihyo for the win