18   Jessica's POV

I’m rushing myself towards the exit door once I step off the stage, hoping to catch on Taeyeon, but a hand stop me by grabbing my arm gently. “ Where you going Jess? “ I glance at Yoona who look at me with worry eyes.

“ I— Taeyeon.. “ Its the only thing that my mouth able to form because the only thing that hold me from slide down to floor and cry at this moment is my own pride.

“ Let her be, she’s going home, I don’t think its good idea to go after her. “ Yoona told me but I quickly shook my head and pull my arm away. “ If its not the time, then there will be no other good time. I need to see her. “ I said desperately.

Our eyes lock for second before Yoona sighing and finally give in. “ Wait here for second. “ she suddenly goes towards kitchen and back another minute with a cool bag on her hand. “ Ice cream. “ she answer my questioning eyes. “ Taeyeon unnie will be more relax if you bring her this. “

I smile at her thoughtful act as I gladly accept the treat from her hand. “ You know where she live right? “ Yoona ask and I nod my head confidently. “ Good luck. Hopefully you can bring the smile back to her face, I kinda start to miss it. “ Yoona added with playful wink before usher me to go, but I stop my step once I remember something.

“ Krystal will be with me, don’t worry, I’ll take care of her. “ Yoona told me even before I said anything. I squint my eyes to her and step closer. “ If I found any scratch on her.. “ I warned her who look at me with widen eyes and scared eyes. “ I will hunt you down to your grave. “

“ Threat taken. No scratch. No anything. I swear. “ Yoona rise one of her hand and comically make a cross on her chest as she promise me. Satisfied with what I heard, I run towards the exit door. Praying that I’ll be able to catch on Taeyeon soon.

+++

I never been so nervous my whole life, not even when I’m on stage, singing in front of Kim Jong-un at Korea Peace Movement in Pyongyang. But tonight everything I do makes me want throw up, even when I’m driving. I try so hard to focus on road while my heart beat faster as I go near my destination.

I don’t know what would I do or say later, I don’t even want to know how it will end, all I want at moment is to meet her. Despite anything I feel at moment, there’s one thing that makes me so sure to keep going. I miss her. Everything about her. She makes me crazy, I need my own peace back, my own sanity, and Taeyeon is the only cure.

I parked my car the same place where Taeyeon parking, the first time I visit here. Looking at the house across the road, my anxiety go through the roof. After take few a deep breath, I grab the cool bag from passenger seat and walk to her house. My hand hovering for moment above the bell, before I able press it.

Baddum.. Baddum.. Baddum..

I close my eyes as I can feel my heart drumming hard against my ribs while waiting for someone open the door for me. A minute later, a familiar face appear behind the door. Like me, she also froze when our eyes met for umpteenth time today.

“ Taeyeon.. hi. “ I’m trying to smile as natural as I can do, even feeling little bit more relax when she finally answer me.

“ Jessica.. what are you doing here? “ she asking me, confuse.

“ Can we talk? I— “ my word cut once another familiar figure behind Taeyeon caught my eyes.

“ Tae I’m boiling the water now, can you watch it over while I’m out..? “ Tiffany voice trailing off once she found me on door. Her appearance makes me forget what I want talk about. A lot new question is now forming in my head. I don’t feel nervous anymore, all I feel now is heavy feeling that suddenly squishing my heart.

So this is what she been doing on her free time. No wonder she always look so happy every time she comeback to work.

I bite my tongue so I not throw any cynical remark at moment, otherwise I will only embarrassing myself more. “ Am I interrupting something? “ I ask coldly as my grasp on the cool bag in my hand become tighten.

“ Um no. I’m about to leave.. actually. “ Tiffany give Taeyeon look and gently pats on her back before walk towards me. “ Do you want me to wait for you Jess? “ Tiffany ask me politely, but I ignore her question and rushing into the house instead.

 I can’t believe it, from all of people, why must be Tiffany?! Are they back together?!

“ Its none of your business, but no, she just visiting friend. “ Taeyeon calmly answer my question once she walk back into the room. , did I just said it out loud? Way to embarrassing yourself Jess! I scold my own self but Taeyeon voice makes me forget everything else as I finally realize that she now stand in front of me, waiting for me to talk.

“ What happen? Are you lost or something? “ she ask me as her eyes studying me, makes me tremble in weird ways. I take a few breath before I finally have courage to look her in the eyes. My head trying to form a good explanation words but my lips speak the first thing that appear there instead. “ I miss you.. “ I told her even before I can’t stop myself.

I saw Taeyeon widen her eyes slightly at my sudden confession but second later her face back to confuse and doubtful one. “ You left Jessica. “ she told me with small voice