Who are You?

2018

Taehyung tried to smile, to feel happy but he felt so empty.

So empty. But still, he tried to smile.

“You finally opened the freaking door!” Jimin opened his arms for a hug as he embraced his friend. So Taehyung tried to force his smile a little bit more.

“Sorry for disap-”

“Don’t need to be sorry.” Jungkook appeared behind Jimin and enfolded the two in his arms.

The three friends stayed silent for a moment, listening their hearts beating at the rhythm of the heavy pressure of this House near the Lake. This House where Taehyung met Yoongi through a magic Polaroid, the House where Taehyung fell in love, but also the House where the souvenir of Yoongi disappeared like a shadow in a desert fog.

“Hyung…” Jungkook started, as he took a step backward to better smile at Taehyung. “I propose you come at my place for a few days… I think you need to leave this house for a little bit.”

Taehyung looked at his friend with a mix of apprehension and fear, he had so many memories between these walls, so many laughs, so many sensation and now all those feelings he experienced once were killing him.

However, the hardest part of losing Yoongi was not the fact the Polaroid did not work, but rather learning to live without Him. Always trying to fill the void, the emptiness that was left inside his heart.

So the painter took a deep breath and nodded slowly. Jungkook smiled and shared a look with Jimin. Having Taehyung out of this house was a first step, and a good first step.

“I know it’s kind of pathetic that I am so depressed over someone I have never saw…” Taehyung suddenly said as he packed a suitcase with some clothes and painting tools.

In photography there is a reality so subtle that it becomes more real than reality. And for Taehyung Yoongi was really real.

“It’s not because you never saw him, that you don’t know him.” Jimin replied carefully. “And actually you already saw him…”

“Yeah I saw him… And if he remembers me he would remember that I acted like a perfect freak.” Taehyung mocked himself with a sad breathy chuckle.

“Some people like freak.” Jungkook joked making Taehyung slightly smile.

“And what should I do? Follow him at one of his concerts and ask him out like the freak I am?” The painter jested back.

“Well if he likes freak, he would totally accept.” Jungkook winked and Taehyung suppressed a laugh. It was not a gleeful laugh but it was at least something...

Before leaving the house, Taehyung casted a last glimpse inside and breathed out loudly. Jimin was about to close the door behind them, when suddenly the young painter exclaimed in despair.

“Wait!” He screamed. “Wait Jimin! Wait…” He said in an undertone. “I can’t do this… I can’t leave…”

“Yes you can Tae” Jimin said softly. This one was not sure about Jungkook’s master plan of going to the cinema with his classmate Seokjin and his friends, but for sure Taehyung needed to go out of this house to change his mind.

Taehyung touched his chest, trying to understand what his heart was yelling at him.

There are no trumpets sound when the important decisions of your life are made. But your heart playing drums is a good indicator. So Taehyung surrendered.

“Okay I will go with you guys, but I have to take this…” He said going back inside to come back with his Polaroid in his hands.

For Taehyung and since the Polaroid was in his life, he considered that photography was a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. It remembered him little things, even if it was gone.

Few weeks ago, he even thought that the pictures he had caught on film from 2019 was captured forever…

But here he was... alone. The magic was gone. The souvenir of Yoongi was only in his mind and heart now.

As they drove to the city center, Taehyung who was sitting at the back seat, was looking the light of the street lamps through the window, when a frown made his apparition on his face.

“Where are we going Kookie?” Taehyung asked, noticing that they did not take the normal road for the younger’s apartment.

“Hmm you will see?” Jungkook’s answer sounded like a question.

Taehyung rolled his eyes. “I don’t want surprise, just to lay on your couch like a freaking potato.”

“Oh you will like it…” Jungkook said while Jimin nodded nervously with a fixed smile.

“Looking at Jimin, it looks like I won’t…” Taehyung sighed.

Jungkook was about to snap another jest, when J-hoped appeared on his shoulder making Jungkook jolt.

“How…. How… How do you do that?” He whispered at the little man on his shoulder.

“Shhhh” J-hope placed his finger on his lips. “They would think that you’re talking alone if you answer me.” Jungkook looked around; his friends did not seem to notice his surprise.

Jungkook did not know who or what exactly J-hope was but three things were certain:

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