The night was dark. The lack of stars, due to extreme pollution, was something I barely noticed anymore, since I’ve never seen them. Sure I went with my class to the public observatory to watch the recreation, but I’ve never seen the actual stars. It bothered me a lot when I was little, and once I asked mum why they were gone. I remember the fear on her eyes as she looked at my father. “We do not ask such things cupcake”, he said to me. No long after that, I learned it was better to ask no questions.

They took my father first. We didn’t know how or why. One day he just didn’t came back from the factory he used to work in. Mom knew she was next. And she also knew she couldn’t afford it, she could not let me alone. Therefore she was then left with little to no options, and did what any mother would’ve done: she found us a protector. A man who would marry a woman to keep her safe from any danger. I always hated that concept, as if we women could not protect ourselves. Back then, tho, I wasn’t taking into account that you cannot defend yourself from institutional patriarchy.

Mum could not find a man to protect her, nobody wanted to carry the burden of a teenage daughter. What she found was a protector for me, Bobby. He was slightly older than me, and seemed nice, so I couldn’t really complain. I had read of arranged marriages much more unfair than mine. Why then couldn’t I stop crying on my wedding day? I told everybody it was because I had always dream of my father giving me away, because I missed my recently deceased mother. I repeated time and time again that my tears were for those I lost, while a tiny voice on the back of my head was screaming for what I was losing that day.

Today, however, the night was particularly dark. The already faint shimmer of the streetlights looked fainter as ever. I sighed, thankful for having my dearest Peanut with me. Oh, and Bobby.

-We should head home already babe, it’s getting late- I told him, almost whispering.

-You’re not trying to tell me what to do, right?- he asked back annoyed. I shook my head and looked down. I should’ve known best.

Bobby chuckled and kept walking by my side, fidgeting with some paper he had picked from the ground. It was some kind of old political advertising, with the smiling face of our current president already fading. Our streets were filled with those, to the point we could not even see the real ground anymore. Some stupid kids a little bit ahead had picked some of them and smashed them together to create somewhat of a spherical form they could use as a ball and they were kicking it.

-ing little bastards- Bobby mutered. I nodded. It’s not that I hated them, I understand growing up with nothing to play makes you use anything you can put your hand on. But again, life’s teach me it’s better to agree with the one who’s there to defend you when things get ugly. And they were about to.

One of the kids had taken out a matchbox and was about to light the paper ball on fire.

-Hey!- I shouted, scaring the boy and causing him to drop the box.

-What the you want ?!- he screamed back, clearly mad at me.

-What do I want?! I don’t know, maybe not dying in a ing uncontrollable fire?! There has already been like 5 and I bet my you caused all of them!- I shouted back. The kids clearly did not like my answer, as they started approaching us, carrying some baseball bats I hadn’t seen before.

-You couldn’t keep your ing mouth shut, could you? - Bobby told me. He cracked his knuckles and pushed me aside, ready to beat those er’s asses. However, he did not have to, because as they were getting closer, Peanut started growling at them. A couple steps more and Peanut lost it. I had never seen her this angry, loudly barking and growling at them, showing them her fangs. The boys reconsidered the attack and went back, disappearing on an left alley at the end of the street.

-Good girl Peanut, you’re such a warrior princess- I told my dog while petting her.

-Dammit she sure is feisty- said Bobby unimpressed. He had never have a soft spot for dogs, and Peanut was no exception.

The both of us got up and proceeded with our walk home. When we arrived to the alley, Bobby stopped and turned to face me.

-Pass me the leash- he said, giving the alley a naughty glimpse.

-Bobby please… - I softly pleaded, well knowing the fight was lost beforehand but still refusing to let go of my furry baby. She was my best friend, my baby, the only true companion I had. I loved with my whole heart and I was sure she loved me back as much.

Bobby scoffed at my answer and tore the leash from my defeated hands. -I’m just gonna scare them a little, it’ll be fine. Just wait here, I’ll be back in a moment-.

I watched them both disappear into the darkness of the corridor and went back a couple meters to sit down on an old broken bench. I was anxious and was trying to calm myself. “Those kids can do nothing to Bobby and Peanut, right? No reason to be scared they are going to get hurt. It’s not as if they had any kind of weapons like… WAS THAT A GUNSHOT?!” I jumped from the seat and runned to the alley. The kids were gone, probably over the fence at the other side. Bobby was kneeling on the floor, blocking my view. I felt my heart stop beating and all the heat from my body rapidly vanishing, leaving me with a chilling cold inside. I ran to Bobby and kneeled by his side. Peanut was there, in front of us. The bullet had hit her in her stomach and she was bleeding. She was dying. My baby was dying.

-Those ers had a ing gun- Bobby told me. -You should be happy the shot this beast instead of me-. I wasn’t listening to him anymore. I couldn’t. My baby was dying right in front of me and there was nothing I could do to help her.

-Get up, let’s go home. It’s late and you have to make dinner-. I did not move. He got mad.

-Listen, I’m going home. Now. When I arrive I’m gonna shower. If when I get out of the shower I don’t have a nice meal on the table, you can forget about coming inside ever again-. He got up and soon he was gone. I was alone. Peanut sensed something was wrong with me and moved her head to me, like she was trying to tell me that everything was okay. But it wasn’t. It had never been. I got up and picked her from the ground. I wasn’t going to let her go without fighting.

Approximately 5 minutes later I arrived to the animal clinic I worked in. It was Sunday so the veterinarian would not be there, but I’ve seen him working enough to at least try and save Peanut. It’s not as if I had any other choice. I picked the keys from my pocket when I realized the light was on. Maybe I was lucky, maybe he was there! I got inside and started screaming for help. A face popped from the right door.

-What’s wrong what happened??- a panicked Lucas told me. He wasn’t the veterinarian but he was close enough.

-She was shot Lucas, she’s dying!!!- I screamed at him. His face was completely serious as he told me to drop her on the hospital gurney in the room at your left. I did as told and then he instructed me to leave the room and wait behind the counter. There I found a kettle and some pastries, and I made an infusion to calm myself.

The clock was ticking and I could hear Lucas working in the room next to me. “What will I do if he can’t save her?”, was the only thought I had running on my head. Until suddenly another question popped up. “What will I do if he can?”. It’s not as if I had a home to go back to. Or a protector. Or enough money to live by myself, much less buy Peanut food. I didn't even know how I would pay for Lucas’ services. I could not find answer to any of those questions. When was the last time I decided anything by myself? Have I ever done it?? Yes. Yes I did. That same day, about two hours ago, when I decided to stand against those kids. When I decided not to follow Bobby. When I decided to save Peanut. I was fully capable to take decisions, and I was about to take the hardest one yet.

Lucas came out of the room and I jumped from my seat. -She’s okay, she’ll live. The damage was superficial, barely more than a scratch-.

-Oh my god, thank you, thank you so much Xuxi- I told him and run inside the room. He blushed and smiled, happy that I used that particular name to call him. He never liked it, unless it was me who used it. Peanut was lying on the couch for some reason, and as she saw me getting inside she barked and started wagging her tail happily. I ran to her and hugged her, tears rolling down my eyes.

-What are you gonna do now? I suppose going back to that is not a choice- Lucas said behind me. I didn’t catch me off guard, I knew Lucas was more intelligent that his clown-like personality and boy appearance would hint. He probably guessed the moment I came in alone.

-It’s not- I answered, while slowly getting up to look at him. He was smiling at me, but I could read the concern in his eyes.

-So?- he asked again. He was still smiling. I found him so endearing that I started doubting the choice I had made in my mind a little ago. But I could not doubt, it was our only choice.

-So I’m about to make the biggest mistake ever and hope I don’t regret it too much- I told him determined. He looked at me confused, as if he was trying to guess what I was about to say. I inhaled deep and looked at him in the eyes, ready to take on the hell that was about to unleash.

-I know who you are. Who you truly are. And who you work for. I know it all-.