It felt so right yet so wrong at the same time. Just the two of them, alone in an empty classroom with the light of the sunset reflecting through the windows, showing their love for each other with a passionate kiss.

Cheng Xiao - a student majoring in the art of rhythmic gymnastics; reaching new heights every tournament. She was famous not only among the students but among the public as well. Having made a name for herself through the few small tournaments that she had competed in, she was offered a spot on a professional team but she turned it down as she wanted to complete her studies first. Her spot on the professional team was guaranteed though, it was her decision to choose when to join the team. One can consider her the Kim Yuna of rhythmic gymnastics. That was her. The girl whom Juyeon had fallen so deeply in love with.

Juyeon was a student in the same school. Majoring in track and field, she was the most anticipated student to make it big in her category. She had yet to take part in any competitions but she had been outdoing everyone on the school team. To say the least, she was a very promising athlete.

Breaking the kiss, eyes still closed with her forehead against Xiao’s, tears escaped the corner of Juyeon’s eyes. Xiao caught sight of it, bringing her hands to the other girl’s face and gently wiped her tears away. Juyeon’s eyes fluttered open at her touch.

This was never meant to be; there were so many reasons why they shouldn’t be together. Juyeon knows it. Cheng Xiao doesn’t.

“I’m here, Juyeon-ah. I’m not going anywhere, I’ll stay by your side, forever and always,” Xiao said with a smile while gazing into Juyeon’s glistening eyes. “I love you.”

With that, Juyeon broke down into tears. She was well aware that this was a love that can never be.

----------

A year had passed and Xiao is now one of the best rhythmic gymnast known by many whereas Juyeon is still making a name for herself.

Throughout the past year, Xiao had been spending most of her time out of the country attending trainings and competitions with the professional team to further boost her career. This left Juyeon to spend weeks and months longing for the presence of her beloved by her side. She had not been taking part in any competitions as she fell into a slump with Xiao’s absence. No one was there for her; her only source of motivation and the only person who keeps her going was away and hard to reach as not only was she busy but she was also on the other side of the world with the time difference making things even more difficult. Xiao on the other hand continues to outdo herself. She’s at her peak.

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Juyeon feels that Xiao doesn’t need her. It’s the thought of making Juyeon proud, the thought of seeing her again after being away for some time, coming back home with good news that motivates her, Xiao says. Juyeon remains silent. She hates how Xiao is able to feel confident despite her absence, hates how Xiao doesn’t seem to need Juyeon to be physically there. However at the same time, she loves how she never leaves Xiao’s mind; she feels conflicted.

“I’ve decided to retire from track and field,” Juyeon speaks up.

“What led you to that decision? Is it due to the slump you’ve been facing?” Frowning, Xiao questioned.

“Yeah… I’m doubtful that I can ever be as good as I used to be” Juyeon answers with a soft voice.

“Then you have to stay strong and not give up. I see the potential there is in you, it’s too good to give it up just like that.”

“... Just like that? What do you mean just like that? And how am I supposed to stay strong when you’re not by my side basically all the time, Xiao?! Do you have any idea how much I’ve been suffering, I miss you so damn much every single time you’re away but I guess you don’t feel the same,” Juyeon snaps, her voice raised.

Taken aback, Xiao was speechless. All she could do was stare at Juyeon and tremble with fear.

Juyeon sighs, massaging her temples. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you, I just… lost it for a moment…”

Xiao doesn’t speak. Step by step, she walks up to Juyeon and embraces her; Juyeon returns it. They remain in each other’s arms, neither wanting to part.

Juyeon reasons that she needed Xiao’s constant support which the latter has been unable to provide and with more competitions coming up, she knows that she wouldn’t be able to receive that much needed support from her lover. She states this situation as a reason why they weren’t meant to be. It was a choice between their career or their relationship, neither can have the best of both worlds. Juyeon was ready to give everything up for Xiao; Xiao wasn’t however. She believes that they can make it work.

Juyeon thinks otherwise. She is tired of the long distance relationship. She suggests that they take a break from their relationship, shattering Xiao’s heart into pieces. A moment of silence ensued and all Xiao managed to say to break the silence was a weak “okay”.

It was not okay.

Xiao packs up to leave for her next competition away from home, a stream of tears flowing down her face as she was doing so. Tears were not foreign to Juyeon either. She failed to hold them back as she watched Xiao getting ready to leave her all alone again. She had hoped for Xiao to hold onto her and not leave but alas, they were not meant to be. She had always been aware of it.

----------

It has been two months since Juyeon and Xiao had called it off. Xiao, now back in Korea after spending the past month away for her competition and the other month to find herself after having lost Juyeon as her lover, makes her way to Juyeon’s place. She takes a deep breath as she rings the doorbell, unsure of what to expect.

An unfamiliar face greets her warmly; she introduces herself as Luda. Xiao’s heart drops, thinking that the girl could potentially be Juyeon’s other half. She was unable to find her voice to ask for Juyeon but she didn’t need to, the said girl showed herself. Noticing the unnerving atmosphere, Luda excused herself. Juyeon led Xiao in, taking a seat at the table after Xiao. Neither spoke a word; neither dared to look at the other.

Juyeon feels as if she could crumble at any moment. She’s dying to hold Xiao in her arms once again, to shower her with love and affection, to cherish her for the rest of her life. She hesitates, not knowing if Xiao felt the same anymore.

Xiao feels as if she could be on cloud nine despite the awkward tension that was building between herself and Juyeon. She went over to Juyeon’s place with a resolve, she knows what she wants, she just has to take the first step. She walked over to where Juyeon was seated, embracing her as she let out a deep sigh and cooed an “I missed you” into her ear. Juyeon couldn’t hold back her tears. She buried her face in the crook of Xiao’s neck, returning the embrace.

Xiao pulls away just enough so that she could face Juyeon, hands caressing her face and wiping her tears away. Their eyes meet for the first time in what felt like forever, love clearly reflected in both pairs.

“Let’s get back together,” Xiao says in a hushed tone.

“But you’re going to lose everything if people find out about us… You know how the society is...” Juyeon trails off, breaking eye contact and casting her eyes towards the floor.

Taking a deep breath, Xiao uttered, “I won’t lose you and that’s all that matters to me. I love you.”