Sakura’s POV
 

Today I went home again with Chaeyeon. We didn’t talk while walking but it’s fine, it’s comfortable, there’s no sign of awkwardness. I guess I’m a little closer to her now even though we didn’t have a not so good start. Because I think everything about me is strange, I wonder if she thinks the same way? You know I’m strange because I didn’t have any friends in my whole life, it’s my first time to study at school without any absent. But I guess she doesn’t know about it yet so I don’t have to worry. 

Soon Chaeyeon and I went in different ways. We bid each other goodbye and I walk to my home without looking back again. After three to four minutes, I reached home. I fished out my key from my pocket and opened the big gate to our house.

“ただいま! (Tadaima!-I’m home!)” I shouted while closing the door 
“お帰り 良　(Okaeri Sakura- Welcome back Sakura)” mama gave me a peck “It’s been a while since I saw you smiling so bright. Did something good happened?” 
 

Was I? I don’t know what is it but I’m a little happier today “Yeah… I guess” I scratched my cheek shyly “I’m just going to take a shower” she nodded

I went upstairs. I straightly entered to my room, like usual I placed my bag on the study table, took out some comfortable clothes and took a quick shower. I put on simple pajamas. I replaced my contact lens with my thick glasses. After that, I dried my hair.

It’s not like I’m going to do anything here or going outside to play, I search something that I can do. I ended up deciding to read some school works to prepare early for exams.

“Sakura” mama knocked then came to my room

I already read so many topics that I didn’t notice the time. It already became so dark. I glance at my alarm clock and I’ve been studying for three hours straight.

I stopped what I’m doing and placed back my glasses “Time for medicine?” I asked 
She nodded and gave me the tray with three pills and water

“ありがとう (Arigatou-Thank you)”
“何しているの？ (Nani eiru no?- What are you doing?)” she checked the books and notes that were scattered on my study table and reading some parts of it, especially science. Maybe because she is a doctor that’s why she has an interest in it.
“勉強している (Benkyou-eiru-I’m studying)” I answered
“いい子だね～ (Iiko da ne- What a nice kid)” she messed my hair and laughed
“お母さん! (Okaasan!- Mom!)”I pouted. I don’t really like it when someone is messing my hair. I mean it’s so hard to fix it again.

She still laughs at me and keeps saying I’m cute whenever I’m annoyed. I didn’t hold back and laugh with her too, then suddenly a short memory of me jumping from rooftop passes in my mind like a picture. 

The happiness that I felt turned to a pang of guilt. I was blaming God about why he didn’t think about what I feel when I’m going to die sooner when I’m not thinking about what will mama feel when I killed myself. 

I stopped laughing. She noticed it and her expression changed to a worried one.

“Something wrong?”
“N-nothing” I closed my book cleared all of my notes and rose up from my seat to give her a big hug
“どうしたの 良ちゃん? (Doua no Sakura-tyan?-What’s the problem, Sakura-tyan?)” she asked once again 
“I just want to hug you and…” I snuggle my face to her chest. I’m afraid that she will notice my tears that are going to fall anytime
“And?”
 

“ごめんなさい　お母さん (Gomennsai Okaasan-I’m sorry ma