Chapter 14

FINALE

I must have picked up my phone over a hundred times with the intention of texting or calling Jennie, but each time I remembered her asking for space and did nothing. I was not sure that was the right course of action; wouldn’t it be more meaningful if I fought for her, made her talk to me so we could fix things? But it seemed creepy to badger her into talking to me when she had very explicitly asked me not to, so I kept away. Even though it was making me a nervous wreck.

Making matters worse, my sister did not keep quiet about what she had witnessed, and went straight to my parents to tell them that Jennie and I had broken up and that it was my fault. I took exception to the breaking up part, mostly because I wasn’t sure if we had actually been a couple (How many dates did it take until two people were in a relationship? Was Jennie my girlfriend? Had I lost my girlfriend before I’d realized I even had one?).

My parents were understandably worried and tried to get me to talk about what had happened, but I stonewalled them until they backed off. I wasn’t ready to talk about what had happened between me and Jennie, mostly because I was still trying to figure it out myself.

When I replayed our last conversation in my head, I replaced different parts with other things I could have said at the time. I could have immediately agreed to go to prom with Jennie, keeping my misgivings to myself. I could have encouraged her to go with Jisoo’s group, explaining that prom wasn’t something I was interested in but insisting she go and enjoy herself. I could have taken a few more seconds to figure out my thoughts instead of spilling out the half-formed ideas I had stupidly shared with her. My reflections weren’t helping, though, instead highlighting all my mistakes and making me feel worse about my actions.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell Chaeng what had happened with Jennie, but she found out anyway. Not all of it, but enough to be worried about me. I wasn’t sure who had told her, if someone in my family had let her know or if it had been Jisoo. However it had occurred, Chaeng called a few hours after Jennie had left my house and tried to give me advice, which I did not appreciate. “You have to go over to her house and talk to her. That’s the only way you two are going to get past this,” Chaeng said over the phone.

I sighed. “And how am I going to do that?” I asked with no enthusiasm. As if I hadn’t been thinking about how I could fix things with Jennie for hours now.

“Go up to her and say, ‘Jennie, of course I want to take you to prom. Let me make all your prom fantasies come true,’ and then take her to a hotel and do what you have to do,” Chaeng said matter-of-factly.

I hung up on her without a second thought.

So Chaeng was no help. Surprisingly, her little brother called me a few minutes later. He must have been listening in on our conversation, because he kept the phone call short and sweet.

“I’m sorry that you’re having trouble with your girlfriend.”

I didn’t bother correcting him that Jennie was not my girlfriend.

“But I wanted to tell you that I’ll always love you. Okay, I have to go work on my reading. Bye, Lisa.”

That short show of affection made me feel better, even if just for a few minutes. That kid was something special.

The worst was the next day at school. I had been trying to get a glimpse of Jennie in class, but she must have been avoiding me. She got out of first period history early by giving the teacher some sort of note just as class began. I was excited to see her, and hopeful that I could talk to her or give her a note or even just a smile, but she was gone before I had the chance. The short glance I got of her wasn’t very encouraging. Her hair was in a low ponytail, and she just seemed…sad. And I was the one who had caused it. After third period, while I was at my locker, going through the motions like it was a regular school day and not as if my world was crumbling, I got a text message from an unknown number. It wasn’t too hard to figure out who it was from.

Unknown number: stop ing things up with my best friend. I warned her you were a waste and now you’re a jerk on top of it. fix it or end it.

After saving the number as “Enemy number 1,” I sent my own text to Chaeng.

Me: stop giving out my number to people who hate me

Just a few seconds later, I got a response.

Princess Bananahammock: she said she wasn’t going to be mean. was she mean?

Before I could respond with the perfectly snarky reply I had ready, a voice from behind me had me turning around. My momentary hope that it was Jennie was dashed when I saw Chaeng standing there. My disappointment must have showed on my face.

“Sorry,” she said apologetically. “No luck, huh?” she asked. I just shook my head. She pulled me into a hug, and I let my chin fall to her shoulder. I had never felt lower than I did standing in the middle of the school hallway getting a pity hug from my best friend.

That was yesterday. Today was turning out to be just as horrible. I’d overslept, so Sorn had to wake me up so we wouldn’t be late to school. I barely had enough time to get dressed and ready before my sister was dragging me out the door to the car. Throughout the entire ride to school, she complained about how late we were and how she was going to miss her presentation for first period and how I was sabotaging her scholastic achievements. I tried my best to tune her out, but only succeeded in focusing my thoughts on Jennie, wondering if I would see her today. It had taken a supreme effort not to call her last night, but I’d stuck to what I believed was right and had given Jennie the space she’d asked for.

When we finally got to school, I was so relieved to finally be free of the sisterly nagging that I jumped out of the car as soon as I parked. Right when I had cleared the back end of my car, my sister called out to me.

“What?” I snarled, not in the mood for any more of her criticisms. “Did I not park fast enough fast for you? Are we too far from the door? Do you want me to carry you on my back?” I said, each word increasingly louder until I was screaming at her. I was having a mini meltdown, but I didn’t care who saw.

Sorn stood in front of me with a patronizing look on her face. I wanted to smack it right off. Instead she said, “You’ll thank me for this one day,” and pushed me.

Right into the path of an older sedan. Which hit me.

The car wasn’t going very fast, so it wasn’t like I fl