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Hyunjin II

Kitten in the Rain

 

 

Sleep didn't exist. Food didn't exist. Nothing existed except for that kiss.

Hyunjin had ran circles in her head since she had gotten home, trying to figure out why she did what she did. It had to have been the spirit right? But why would it make her kiss her?

Hyunjin slammed her fist into her bed for the thousandth time as her face was buried in her pillow. Maybe she was being too dramatic. She just had to go back there, apologize, and explain herself. She shook her head. No, it had been too passionate, too many bottled up feelings that had escaped. They were out now, and there was no putting them back. She could barely make eye contact with a pretty face, how was she supposed to talk about them to anyone, let alone the girl they longed for?

The court jester in her mind was juggling her problems and laughing at her while she tried to sort them all out. In that moment, all she wanted to do was get away from all of it. Her soul needed some air.

Suddenly, she remembered something.

Hyunjin went through her drawers, trying to find it. It had been a while since she had left it there but it had to be there somewhere. If it wasn't, she didn't know what else she would do. After searching the last drawer at the bottom of her dresser, she found it; a neatly folded piece of paper tucked in the corner behind colorful silk clothing. In flawless writing, it read:

Dear Hyunjin,

How has life been treating you? I hope it hasn't been too cruel. I've been very busy lately. That's actually the reason I am writing to you now. You see, I've recently been offered a great opportunity in my career, but in order to pursue it properly I will have to move into a new home. Fortunately, I will still be in the city but it will be a much longer trip. I would like to have told you in person but I am constantly running around and I know you are focused on your school work. Anyway, I've written my new address at the bottom of this letter. I will of course completely understand any hesitation to pay me a visit but if you should, I will be available on the weekends from sunrise to noon.

Yours truly, Haseul.

Hyunjin memorized the address at the bottom of the letter as she got herself ready. She straightened her hair and didn't bother putting on any makeup. Just by looking at the address, Hyunjin could tell it would be quite a ride. She suspected it might be on the complete opposite side of the city. Even when she did get there, she wouldn't have much time to spend with her anyway. Their maid was busy cleaning in the backyard so it was the perfect opportunity to sneak out without anyone noticing before it was too late. There was no time to eat and she barely got dressed before putting the orb in her bag and heading outside.

As Hyunjin stepped out the door, she heard a sound under her shoe. She gasped before looking under and smiling. It was a small bracelet decorated with different colored beads. Luckily, she hadn't damaged it in her haste and threw it in her bag as she went through the front gate. The thought of where it came from didn't even cross her mind.

After walking over to the street corner down the hill, she whistled for a stagecoach with white and beige horses. Her parents' own personal stagecoach was busy taking them to the forum where all the bigshot politicians met, so she had to make do with what she could find. Her parents... gods have mercy on her when she returned. Hyunjin was supposed to be at home doing schoolwork until they got back; she had never really disobeyed them to this level before.

The man that offered picked her up was nice enough, so the ride there wouldn't be too bad even though the seating wasn't too comfortable. She paid him a little extra to not pick up anyone else along the way.

They rode out of the neatly paved roads and headed into the lower territories where the middle and lower classes lived, the carriage rumbling massaging her back. Hyunjin looked out at the busy streets full of exuberant youth and weary elders. She had been one of those kids living below the watchful eye of the hills, running through those same streets like a stray cat. The air was filled with the rich smell of foods on the market stands; the aroma almost yanked her through the window and sent her rushing at the nearest table, but her parents would be angry enough when she got back, there was no need for her to add needless spending on top of it all. But oh, how the aroma sang to her hollow belly, which was nagging her with much more vigor than usual.

She wondered if her younger years really were as blissful as she remembered or if there was a soft mist hiding the darkness that crept in the alleys and crumbling buildings. Maybe she should've been more thankful for the situation she was in, but that would have to come after she cleared her mind.

They rode for what must've been at least two hours before arriving. The address Haseul gave to Hyunjin led to a three story complex in a relatively calm area in the outskirts of the city, closer to the towering wall that separated them from whatever lived outside of it. The wall's shadow covered the complex. Hyunjin looked up and saw a few soldiers walking along the top of it, the rising sun turning them into silhouettes against a baby blue backdrop.

The sound of kids' laughter mingling with yells from the merchants did not travel through the wind with the same weight as the busier areas. Hyunjin thanked the man and paid him some more money to wait for her there. She didn't want to go through the trouble of finding another ride in those parts.

She went through the open white gate at the front and made her way through a small garden filled with flowers and well-cut bushes. The wooden stairs made the same creaking sound Heejin's castle did. She went up to the third floor and took a deep breath, only then realizing she hadn't prepared anything to say. The knocks on the door were soft.

The first face she saw when it swung open was a smiling, unfamiliar one with long dark hair that stared at her for a bit before politely asking who she was.

"I'm Hyunjin." She bounced on her toes, wondering if this was the right place as she looked back at the girl in front of her. "Is... does Haseul live here?"

"Oh. Yes, she does!" The vibe that came off the sweet voice practically pulled Hyunjin inside. "Are you a friend?"

Hyunjin's nod was guided by slight timidness. "An old friend."

The girl returned her nod with a look of intrigue. "Oooohhh... Old friend. Well, she's..." She lowered her voice, "She was juuust waking up right now if you want to come in."

"Thank you." Hyunjin bowed and stepped inside of the apartment that had the aroma of some kind of fruit she couldn't quite pin down. Then, she mentally slapped herself and turned back to the girl that had let her in. "I'm sorry for not asking, but what was your name?"

"No, it's fine. My name's Yerim." She shut the door with a wide smile and led Hyunjin over to a lone couch by the balcony in the living room. "Do you want anything to drink? It must've been a long ride from the hills."

Hyunjin realized she should've worn something a little less obvious to blend in. "No thanks, I'm fine." The truth was that she actually was parched from riding in the carriage for so long, but she was a little too nervous to even drink anything.

Yerim must've somehow sensed it and handed her a cup of water anyway, still with the most welcoming smile. "Just wait here. I'll go let her know you came."

Hyunjin nodded and rocked back and forth in her seat, biting her lip and looking out the window as she downed the entire thing in one gulp. Why was she so nervous? Sure, she hadn't seen Haseul in a long time but they didn't part ways on bad terms and it's not like she was an uncomfortable person to be around. Why was she making her privileged life so much harder than it needed to be?

When Haseul came into view, it seemed as though a distant memory was plucked from her mind and planted in front of her like a lily flower. Her aura shone in the light, her short hair gleamed. "Hyunjin?" Her voice brought tears to Hyunjin's eyes.

Hyunjin stood up but wasn't sure what to do or say, so she just smiled and let Haseul wrap her arms around her. She hugged Haseul as tightly as she would hug her own childhood.

"It's been too long," Haseul said, "I wasn't sure if you would ever come. I'm sure you've met Yerim already," She looked over at Yerim and back to Hyunjin. "She practically lives here."

"Mhm. We've already met." Yerim leaned against the wall, the whole exchange filling her already bright face with more joy.

Hyunjin and Haseul sat next to each other on the couch. Hyunjin nestled in the comfort of the simplicity of the place, just like she remembered her.

Haseul gave Hyunjin a light dab on the shoulder. "So what brought you down from your castle on the hill miss Breadjin?"

Hyunjin shook her head. "Just... I finished an exam a couple of days ago and finally had some time to visit."

Yerim politely interrupted. "Hey Haseul, I'm gonna go pick up Yeojin and let you two catch up. Is that okay?"

"No problem. You remember where the school is right?"

"Yeah, I think she's old enough to find her own way home though, don't you think?"

Haseul's laugh stomped all over the apparent absurdity of the suggestion. "Find her way home or find her way into trouble. You keep a good eye on her." Yerim nodded and left the two of them alone.

"Can you believe it?" Haseul asked, "She's such a big girl now and so full of life. Wait till you see her."

"Is she as loud as I remember?" Hyunjin asked.

"No. She's probably even louder."

Hyunjin laughed. "Isn't it a little too early to be getting out of school?"

"Oh, actually Yeojin takes a Jiu-jitsu class on the weekends."

"What? Really?"

"Mhm. At first I was against it, thinking maybe she would get herself hurt. But she got her grades up so much that I was basically forced to let her do it. They insist on early classes for kids so..."

"Wow. How long has she been taking it?"

"Almost two years now. I'm always a bit tired in the mornings but Yerim practically begs me to let her take the little rascal there. The instructors say she's making really good progress. Like, 'best in the entire class' type of progress."

Hyunjin's jaw dropped a bit, feeling a bit of envy.

"There's actually going to be a city tournament in the hills three weeks from now. They invited Yeojin and a couple of others from her class. Maybe you can go watch if you're not busy."

Hyunjin wanted to blurt out that of course she would go, but she knew she might not be able to. "Yeah, maybe I will..." Then, the reason for her being there clutched her vocal chords. "Haseul, do you remember when you told me if I ever needed to talk about anything to come to you?"

Haseul's face turned to one of worry. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"Well kind of, but it’s not that serious. It’s mostly just..." Hyunjin played with her fingers, trying to keep her body busy with something else besides pushing up tears. "... I have a lot of things on my mind... I know you're busy and I'm sorry if it seems I just came over to—"

"No." Haseul was dead serious. "You apologize for nothing. If there are things that are bothering you, you can always talk to me about them. I am your personal diary, remember?"

Hyunjin smiled, "Thank you. Uhh... I don't know where to... Do you remember when my family was all together and me and you would see each other every day? And I would just do stuff and have fun?" Her voice began to shake and Haseul took her hands.

"I remember."

Hyunjin was trying so to keep it together. "I thought I was strong, I thought I could be strong for them when I moved and I was for a while but now I feel like I'm starting to unravel. I don't know why I'm doing anything anymore."

Haseul tightened her grip on her hands. Hyunjin sniffled, staring down at the once empty cup that was now slowly being filled with tear drops. "I feel like I'm so ungrateful complaining about anything. I mean, what's there to be upset about right? I have a home, food on fancy plates every day, I go to a great school and have an amazing friend..." Her voice slipped at the last word, that last confusing word. She cleared , "And still, there's this... thing in my heart. I don't know what it is but it's eating away at me." Light sobs began to escape her, and she began to loosen her resistance to them.

Haseul hugged her tight and spoke softly. "You are strong. No one I know has gone through as much as you have. As far as I'm concerned, you've earned the right to be upset." They separated, still holding hands. "Have you talked to anyone about this?"

"I've tried talking to my friend about it. It helps when we spend time together but she just has a different way of looking at things than I do. She's been raised that way all of her life so I guess she's used to it."

"What about your parents?"

Hyunjin just shook her head. Her parents were more focused on her grades and their perception to others than anything going on with her feelings, she couldn't remember the last time she had ran to them with any of her problems. Maybe it was her fault, maybe if she would just make an honest attempt at connecting with them they would return the favor. She always had Heejin to talk to, but this felt like something she couldn't help with. This problem was in part about Heejin.

Haseul exhaled, as if trying to get a good handle on what Hyunjin had told her. "Have you tried meditation?"

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow at her, "No. We don't don't do that..." She let out a laugh that bumped along her uneven breathing, "Isn't that something for like, old people? I think that'll just make me think about my problems more."

Haseul stood up and closed the drapes to block the sunlight from coming in before taking her hands again. "I started meditating with Yeojin mostly to try something to calm her down. It works for a little while, at least until she gets around her friends again. I think it could work for you too, alongside talking to someone about all of this."

Hyunjin nodded, placing her trust in anything Haseul suggested. "So how do we do it?"

"Well it's not that complicated. We can do it right now if you want... or we can talk about anything else you want to get off your chest first."

She considered telling Haseul about what happened between her and Heejin but decided against it. That was something that she wanted to keep between them for now. She would also have to lie to keep the orbs a secret from her; she didn't dare tell anyone about them without Heejin's permission. However, she did tell her about her troubles in school and her relationship with her parents that was probably about to grow even more deformed.

"I think it's important for you to look at it from their perspective as well," Haseul said, "As someone who is raising a child, there are reasons to be a little harsh on them, even if they don't make sense now. I think they might just want the best for you, but it's up to you to communicate with them and let them know what you want. You can't keep hiding your troubles from them, even if they aren't your biological parents. Everyone has their flaws and problems. Do you think it was easy for them to make it as far as they did being a gay couple?"

That question hit Hyunjin a little harder than she expected. It had never really lingered in her mind for as long as it did now. She remembered the first time she saw them in that orphanage, at how full of joy they looked when they saw her. Hyunjin later convinced herself that they had only adopted her because there was an uncanny resemblance between her and them. It also helped that she used to be at the top of her class consistently.

They used to show her off to their friends, almost pretending like she was their child, their actual child. They weren't always as rich as they were now... and the longer Hyunjin thought about it, about all the hard work she never saw, all the ridicule they must have faced for who they were... How much had they put up with? She thought of how embarrassed she felt the night before when she had kissed Heejin, how scared she was at the way she grabbed her. Ironically, Hyunjin was probably most afraid of what her parents would do to her if they ever found out what she did. Despite them being a gay couple, they had repeatedly tried to hammer it into her head that they did not want her to be like them if she could help it. It's not that they were ashamed of who they were, it was about the way the society would treat her. That's one of the few things about her feelings she could vividly remember them discussing with her. They knew better than anyone how hard it would be on her.

Hyunjin finally shook her head. She fell quiet for a moment before trying to switch the subject. "How..." Hyunjin wanted to choose her words carefully. "Where's your boyfriend? Did he join the army?"

"Oh he's..." Haseul looked away for a second and sighed. "He's deployed beyond the wall right now. It's hard being away from him." There was a silence that overtook the room for a bit. "But he's fine. He writes to me as much as he can. You should hear all the stuff he describes. It's like a completely different world out there.

"Sounds like he's living my dream," Hyunjin joked.

Haseul let out a laugh. "You were never one to back down from a little adventure, were you?"

Hyunjin happily nodded and let another question slip out. "So how long did you know him before the two of you were..."

Haseul tilted her head a bit, trying to get a read on Hyunjin. "Three years. Why do you ask?"

Hyunjin shook her head and berated herself for even asking the question, quickly realizing she did not want to go down the path that question would lead her. "It's nothing. I'm stupid."

"No, it's okay. Is there a special someone you have feelings for?"

Hyunjin just kept shaking her head. "I don't." She felt a burning in her chest even when she lingered around the subject. "Can we— can we do the meditation thing?"

"Okay, just wait here. I'll go get some pillows to sit down on." Haseul got up and went into her room. ​​​​​​Hyunjin knew she was just being polite, she had seen the intrigue and concern in her eyes. Once again, she berated herself. But this time, it was for not telling her anything. She couldn't just keep hiding from these things, and Haseul would be the most understanding of anyone. But at the same time... there was a gripping fear of exposing those feelings, the same fear that she had felt the night before when she let them be seen. Why was she so afraid of herself?

Haseul came back with a couple of pillows and laid them on the floor before they both sat down. Hyunjin looked around before asking, "So what exactly am I supposed to be doing?"

"Just close your eyes and sit," Haseul answered, "It helps if you focus on your breathing. It's okay to have thoughts when doing it, but if you do, don't fight them. Just let them in and allow them to do what they want to. The trick is just to observe them and let them pass. Don't think you're doing anything wrong if you have unpleasant thoughts... and don't judge them. Just let them be."

Hyunjin nodded as they became quiet and closed their eyes. For a while, she only focused on her breathing and nothing else, but then was drawn to the sound of a bird singing outside. She got up and went out into the balcony, trying to sing along with it, but when she opened , nothing came out.

She almost screamed as she opened her eyes and looked around her. Haseul had joined her in the meditation. Hyunjin tried to calm herself. What was that? Why did it seem so real?

Her focus shifted immediately to her bag beside her, the bag that held her yellow orb. It was calling to her. She ached to hold it in her hands.

Hyunjin carefully reached in and pulled it out, then hiding it from view by folding a part of her long skirt over her hands. She immediately felt a sense of calm vibrate through her body. There was also a hint of hesitation camping in the back of her mind, caused by what it made her do the night before. But the feeling it gave her superseded everything and put her mind at ease. She felt a little bit of her childhood restored inside her. It was her companion. As long as she had it, nothing could hurt her, she was sure of it.

Hyunjin closed her eyes again and soon found herself walking down the street on a cloudy day. Golden-haired cats ran up and down the walls of rich homes. She stopped by a puddle on a street corner and saw her reflection wave back at her; her reflection with a cat's head.

She was wearing a violet dress with beautifully stitched flowers on it. She had one like that as a kid, and it somehow fit her perfectly.

She made her way down the street before stopping at a park bench and sitting down. Hyunjin stared at the glimmering lake in front of her. She felt a haunting connection to it, as if it was made of her own tears. A blue fish jumped out and she waved at it. A swan glided along the water accompanied by a penguin and a deer.

There was a frog that jumped by her feet, a dove that landed on her arm, and a bat and owl that smiled down on her from a tree. She looked down at her other arm and noticed a blue butterfly flapping its wings. Then, the dove began singing in a voice that echoed throughout the world and pierced through the waters, bringing joy to every sea creature that lived underneath. The moon hovered in the blue sky above all of it, the same bright moon she had seen before She looked across the lake and noticed a strange figure in the woods, its eyes red and its figure hard to make out. It didn't linger long enough for her to get a good look at it.

Hyunjin then saw a rabbit scurry across the floor past her. She followed it as it went into the waiting arms of a girl sitting on a bench next to her. The girl looked back at her and smiled lovingly back at her. She seemed familiar, but no more than any of the animals that had gathered around her. Hyunjin turned her attention back to the moon and sat there for a while, admiring its beauty. Soon, she began to feel a strange attraction to it, like the feeling of a close friend pulling her arm, urging her to follow. She reached out towards the moon, in total peace as the sound of her breath became more noticeable. Someone shook her shoulder.

"Hyunjin."

She woke up to the smiling face of Haseul, feeling as though she had been pulled from a deep sleep.

"Wake up sleepy." Haseul laughed, "I were starting to get a little worried. It's almost been an hour."

Hyunjin blushed at the revelation. "Sorry, I don't know what happened."

"No, it's fine. I was debating if I should disturb you but you just seemed so calm and peaceful. I wish I could've left you like that a little longer but I'm about to go to work."

"Oh." Hyunjin nearly stood, but remembered what she had in her hand. She waited until Haseul turned around to throw it back in her bag.

"I left some food on the table for you." Haseul was talking to her from another room. "I noticed your stomach was grumbling so I don't want you leaving until you finish every last bite."

Hyunjin smiled and went over to the dining table. The food tasted just a bit sweeter. "Hey Haseul..."

"Yeah?"

Hyunjin really wasn't sure about this next question. "How would you guys like to come over to my place for dinner sometime?"

There was a bit of silence.

"If your parents are okay with it, I would love to. You have carrier pigeons right?"

"Yeah."

"I don't want to make any promises before you ask your parents. Ask them if it’s fine for me and Yeojin to go over. Then send me a letter with some days that would be good for you guys.

Hyunjin nodded and quietly finished her meal, savoring every last bite of it as best as she could.

Haseul finished getting ready and walked out of her room with a slip of paper. She folded it up and put it in Hyunjin's hands. "I wrote down the place they are holding the tournament in so you don't forget. C'mon, let's go outside and wait for them."

They made their way out and down to Hyunjin's stagecoach, waiting in the for a short while before Haseul spoke up. "As much as I enjoyed seeing you again, I don't want you pulling something like this unless your parents are fine with it, okay?"

Hyunjin nodded again before an earth-shattering scream assaulted Hyunjin's ears. She looked in the direction of the wall and noticed them coming around the corner. It was Yeojin, a much taller Yeojin wearing a white gi with a blue belt and sprinting over to them. It seemed like she was about to shout something else but froze in front of her when their eyes met.

Haseul quickly broke their eye contact. "Yeojin, do you remember who this is? She—"

Before Haseul could finish her sentence, Yeojin had ran past her and put her arms around Hyunjin. She had expected there to be a quip of some kind, a sly remark, but instead Yeojin just stood there attached like bark on a tree. Hyunjin looked over at a smiling Yerim and at Haseul who was visibly fighting back tears with a smile of her own.

"I don't want you to leave ever again." Yeojin's voice was firm, she squeezed her until Hyunjin had trouble breathing. Yerim noticed and fought to get Yeojin off of her, but she didn't go down without a fight.

"Hey! Let go, I was still hugging her!" Yeojin was hiding her face.

Yerim resorted to locking Yeojin's arms behind her back. "I think you've made your point, any longer and we would have to attend a funeral."

Yeojin still wouldn't look at anyone. This really was not what Hyunjin remembered, not in the slightest. Then, suddenly, Yeojin whipped her head around with a smile. "Haha! I fooled you all! I was obviously practicing for the school play until Yerim messed it up." Yeojin wiped away her tears nonchalantly.

"You can cry on command?" Sarcasm dripped from every one of Yerim's words, "Wow, will you show us your ways lord Yeojin? For we are not worthy."

Yeojin glared at Yerim before giving all of attention back to Hyunjin, her eyes filled with hope, "Did you move back? My sister always said you wouldn't but I—"

Hyunjin shook her head, almost cringing at how Yeojin reacted to it.

"Oh. Well... a visit is the next best thing!" Yeojin chuckled nervously, "I can show you around the neighborhood and introduce my friends to my long lost sister."

"Long lost?" Yerim grinned at her, "that's a funny way of putting it, don't you think Ms. Peekaboo?"

Yeojin's gasp was full of playfulness. "Yerim. I thought I could trust you."

"What's this about?" Haseul asked.

Yerim let out an exasperated sigh. "I was waiting for her to come out with the rest of the kids for like fifteen minutes. Then when I was going inside to ask where she was, she jumped out from behind a bush and tried to scare me."

"Tried?" Yeojin asked, "You're lucky I wasn't holding any glass or we would've had a really messy situation on our hands."

"I did not scream that loud."

"Yeojin." Haseul interrupted their banter. "What did I tell you about scaring people like that?"

Yeojin sighed and rattled off an apology that sounded scripted. "I'm sorry Yerim. I promise I won't do that again."

"Good," Haseul said, "Now, I'm gonna go to work and I don't want to hear a bad word about you when you come back alright? Do you remember what we talked about?"

Yeojin sighed and recited more words. "Never go more than three blocks away from the house and never hit anyone unless they hit you first."

Haseul hugged her little sister and rubbed her hand against her scalp, messing up her already unkempt hair. "Go inside and get changed, then you and Yerim can show Hyunjin around the neighborhood. But don't take too long, she has to leave soon."

Yeojin let out a cheerful little screech before sprinting up the stairs and into their apartment. Yerim followed closely behind.

"It was really nice seeing you again," Hyunjin said to Haseul.

"Yeah well, again, I don't want you going on these cross-city adventures my mischievous little friend." Haseul pinched Hyunjin's cheek before they embraced in a warm hug as a bird sang in the distance.

Hyunjin mimicked Yeojin's voice. "I'm sorry Haseul. I promise to never do it again."

That got a laugh out of her. "Don't apologize to me. Apologize to your parents. They must be worried sick." Haseul tightened her grip around her. "Try to find a passion. Something you enjoy and that makes you happy. No matter what, you'll always have a home here."

The two separated and held hands as Hyunjin nodded. "I'll do my best."

"You have your mother's beautiful smile, you know that? Don't hide it from anyone." Haseul let go and began walking away down the street. Hyunjin thought about saying one last goodbye to her but she it was stopped by a sense of paranoia. She didn't want to take any chances of them not seeing each other again soon. She would do whatever it took to get her parents to let Haseul into their home, even if she had to get on her knees and beg.

At the street corner, Haseul spun around and shouted, "Say hi to your friend for me!"

Suddenly, Hyunjin heard steps zooming towards her and was attacked by another one of Yeojin's hugs.

"Big sister! I have to introduce you to my friends. They are going to be so jealous when they find out where you're from."

So, Yeojin and Yerim took Hyunjin around the area. Yeojin did in fact introduce her to some of her friends that were waiting for her outside. Some were from her regular school, others from her Jiu-jitsu class. Hyunjin found it hard (and really annoying) to rid herself of the way she usually greeted everyone. ​​​

The little neighborhood was very friendly and it seemed like everyone knew each other. People would occasionally shout out to others from horseback, there was a gathering of people playing board games on street corners, and they even passed a soldier who greeted Yeojin and Yerim by name.

There was one person in particular that caught the most of Hyunjin's sympathy. She met her when they were at a fruit stand. It was a little girl with a ponytail that bent down next to Hyunjin and began cleaning her black shoes with a rag. Hyunjin backed away at first, unsure of what to make of her, but the little girl just scooted over and continued cleaning.

Hyunjin looked over to Yerim and she gestured back that it was okay. After the little girl was finished, she stood and raised a small wooden bowl with change in it towards her. Hyunjin froze for a bit, but pulled out a couple of copper coins, holding them up above the bowl and leaning down to try to get a better look at the little girl's face which was hidden behind her curtain of black hair. "What's your name?"

"Her name's Mi-sun." Yeojin snatched the coins from Hyunjin and dropped them in the bow. "She doesn't talk."

"Thank you very much, Mi-sun." Yerim patted her on the head. "You did a very good job."

Hyunjin watched the girl walk away as silently as she had arrived, becoming another solemn face among the crowd. "How do you know her name if she doesn't talk?" Hyunjin asked them.

"Well she used to talk," Yeojin answered.

Yerim shook her head. "She had such a pretty voice, but one day it's like she just forgot how to. No one knows what happened."

Hyunjin looked down at her shoes, thinking back to the days when she and her friends would run through the streets, not worrying about how dirty they would get. Then, out of pure instinct, Hyunjin ran in the direction of Mi-Sun. She heard Yeojin's voice following behind her but didn't bother to turn around. She weaved in and out through the people, trying to find her. She eventually did find her, kneeling next to a man sitting on a bench next to a jewelry stand.

She politely waited until the girl was done before kneeling down herself and pulling out the bracelet she had found earlier. "Do you know what this is?"

Mi-Sun stared at the bracelet hanging in front of her for a bit before shaking her head.

"It's a very special bracelet. It's got all the colors of the rainbow on it. Some say it even fell from the sky. I want you to have it." Hyunjin dropped the bracelet into Mi-Sun's bowl and then pulled out a few silver coins, dropping them in as well. Mi-Sun simply looked down at her them, then up at Hyunjin and bowed before once again leaving them in haste.

"Aw, that was so nice," Yerim said, "Usually people don't give her anything, let alone a pretty bracelet and silver coins."

Hyunjin smiled and double-checked to make sure she still had enough for the ride home before noticing Yeojin looking at her expectantly.

"So where's my gift?"

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The girls spent the better part of the next hour walking around the neighborhood and looking through the various stands in a crowded street protected by tarps overhead. Hyunjin had to restrain herself from buying all of the delicious-smelling food she came across. But as much as she was enjoying being away from home, Hyunjin couldn't help but notice the look in some of the people's eyes that passed them by. Their faces were imperfect, they had scars, they were a bit dirty, their clothing was messier, and their eyes held mysteries she felt she once knew the answers to. They looked at her like she was some angel who had fallen out of the skies but were too afraid to approach. Hyunjin couldn't shake the feeling that the looks instilled in her. She was a complete foreigner to them, and they were foreign to her. The roots she thought bound her to those parts felt like they had been broken.

Yeojin and Yerim led her back to her stagecoach and each gave her a hug. Yeojin hung on as if her life depended on it. "Did my sister tell you about my tournament?"

Hyunjin nodded down at the little bundle of joy wrapped around her waist.

"Good. I want you to come and watch and cheer me on okay?"

"I'll try my hardest, I promise." Hyunjin hated the feeling of filling her with uncertainty, but it was better than filling her with false hope. She climbed onboard the stagecoach, waving goodbye to them as it began to move.

"It was nice meeting you!" Yerim shouted, her voice dancing through the drizzle that began to fall.

Hyunjin expected Yeojin to shout something as well but instead she just waved, a melancholic expression taking over her. Then, just as she was about to turn the corner, Yeojin hugged Yerim and buried her face in her taller friend's comfort. Hyunjin continued to wave before they turned that corner and she looked down at the dirty floor that now kept her company. Emptiness began to overtake her.

"There's a blanket under the seat there if you're cold." This was the first time Hyunjin had heard the driver's voice.

She took the blanket and set it on her lap before looking back at the driver and offering him the blanket. "You can have it if you want. I wouldn't want you to get all wet from taking me around the city all day."

"It's fine. I've seen much worse." The driver looked back at her and pulled up a panel in the opening between them so no water could get on Hyunjin.

She sat there for a while just looking out the window, towards the graying skies and falling rain. It wasn't long before the orb was in her grasp again. Every time she held it, the world was filled with color. Hyunjin took a really good look at it for the first time, running her thumbs up and down the engraving of the crescent moon.

She inhaled deeply, loving the feeling it filled her with. It was the same primal, fuzzy feeling that she felt the night before. She could hear a faint cry coming from inside the orb, the cry of a kitten. Soon, her hands were running over the orb's surface as if petting it.

"It's okay," she whispered, "it's only rain. It can't hurt you." As the rain picked up, Hyunjin leaned her head against the window, the sound of it smacking against the glass soothed her. She closed her tired eyes for a while and just listened. When she finally opened them again, she saw something that took her breath away.

It was a family of four waving to her on the corner; a mother, a father, a boy, and a girl. The girl was the only one of the four not paying attention to her, all of it was being given to the golden kitten in her arms. She couldn't make out their faces but they did look an awful lot like...

"Stop!" Hyunjin yelled out to the driver and he immediately slowed the horses down to a halt.

Hyunjin threw open the door, almost hitting an oncoming horse. "Wait here please!"

She dropped the orb in her bag and threw the blanket over her head, rushing through the cold rain. Heading for the corner where they had been waving at her a moment ago. All she found was wet pavement and the confused eyes of onlookers.

"Excuse me," she told the first person she could find, "Was there a little girl with a cat here just now? Do you know where she went?"

The old lady just shook her head, her face colored in confusion.

Hyunjin paced down the street, looking around for any sign of where they could've gone. She was going crazy, she knew it. Her clothes were getting soaked and she was chasing ghosts.

Then, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted something. In a dark alley beside her, she saw something small moving in the shadows. As she approached it... and its shape, its color became clearer to her... her eyes began to well up. At her shivering feet there lay a golden kitten.

Hyunjin kneeled down. She felt its pain. It burned her soul. The poor thing was suffering.

"Mom? Dad? Little brother?" The mask that had been put on her for as long as she could remember finally began to crack and tears poured through. Her wet hands covered her face as she wept into them, unable to control her breathing. She wept so long that pretty soon she couldn't tell the difference between her tears and the falling rain, if there was any.

The dirty, agonizing pain pinned underneath formality and disguise began to be washed in the cold rain. She began to feel a newfound sense of determination and acceptance. In the kitten's eyes, she saw her years of unspoken pain looking back at her and telling her everything was okay. She was okay, she had the strength in her to be who she was. Swimming in the dark pools of the kitten's eyes, she found a small but bright, shimmering light of clarity. She wanted to hold hands with her inner child and walk towards woman she knew she could be, who she had to be. It didn't matter how Heejin or her parents responded, she owed it to herself to be honest and open with them. It's what they would want her to do.

Hyunjin took the shivering kitten into her arms and wrapped it in her blanket. But as she stood up, she heard the sound of footsteps coming behind her.

Hyunjin spun around. Everything became dark.

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A/N: Thank you for all of the comments and subs! This one took a bit longer since I (and all of us) was wrapped up in Butterfly hype and had a bit of writer's block. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. If it isn't evident by the ending, these first few chapters were just teasers for what's ahead. The world is going to get fleshed out big time and things are really going pick up in the next chapter. See you then!