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Hyunjin I

Crepuscular

The size of the Seondeok library filled Hyunjin with awe. She walked through the aisles, looking up at shelf after shelf of neatly organized books; they seemed endless. The amount of information, the history of the kingdoms, it made her dizzy just thinking about it, even a little nauseous. How long would it take for her to get through it all? She didn't even want to know how long it would take to get through one.

Hyunjin showed her school badge to the elderly librarian and pushed her way past silk curtains, into the back room. This room was reserved only for students of high class schools, or at least that's what Heejin had told her.

Since this was the morning during an off day, there were only a few people in the room and she didn't recognize any of them. Hyunjin took a seat at an empty table next to an open window in the corner of the room, feeling the cool breeze against her cheeks and cherishing the natural light that filled the room. She took a quick look around, a tinge of discomfort rubbing against her shoulder as she caught a few glances. It was as if they could smell the exam score on her like the stench on the homeless.

Maybe she was just being paranoid. Though, everyone in the room did have an aura of smugness about them. No. She mentally slapped herself for being even a little judgmental. The mere act of existing around nobility was still a square peg trying to fit into her round state of mind.

Hyunjin looked out the window into the gleaming sunlight. The library was one of the many buildings sitting atop the hills that overlooked the city. She could make out the towering city wall in the distance as well as the rich homes nearby and the slums further down; the lower territories, her real home. Birds flew overhead and people flowed through the city streets like water in narrow river beds. Just as a memory was unveiling itself to her, she heard someone sit beside her. It wasn't Heejin.

"Hey there." A young boy placed a couple of full tea cups in the table at each side and gave her a smile. "You new here? I saw you sitting here alone and thought someone should welcome you."

Ugh. She was never good at these things. Her first instinct was to kindly tell him to leave her in peace to wait for her friend, but this environment didn't allow for full honesty and she didn't have the temperament to be even a little harsh to strangers.

"I was actually waiting for a friend." She smiled and took the cup and plate into her hands. "She shouldn't be too long."

"Oh, that's interesting. What school do you girls go to?"

It wasn't really that interesting. "Hyomin Academy."

"Ohhh... I see. I go to..."

Hyunjin just continued to smile and nod as she let her mind drift off to anywhere else that wasn't there. She wondered what Heejin would be wearing that day. She always liked it when she wore something that met the bare minimum requirement for walking around the upper-class hills. Big fancy dresses were something that Hyunjin wore just to avoid the ire of her parents. Some of them were okay, she guessed, but she didn't like them on Heejin. She tapped her fingers together under the table, getting a little antsy, looking over to the entrance.

"... my name's Yoo-joon, from the fifth Min family. Who might you be if you don't mind me asking?"

Jeez, was he just getting around to his name? She awkwardly widened her smile, acting as if she had the slightest clue of who he was. The fifth Min family? She could never get those elite families right, so many names and so much... boring repetition, a spinning wheel of interchangeable names and numbers that failed to grab her interest. Whoever he was, it would probably have been the most beneficial to her and her family's social standing if she got along really well with him... but that was no fun. "My name's Jinri of the... seventh Choi family. Nice to meet you."

The boy's eyes showed a hint of confusion and disappointment. "Oh. I don't think I'm familiar with it. How much would you say your family is worth?"

A flame of anger from the darkest pit of her being shot up, but she blocked it before he could notice. Why couldn't they just talk like people and stop being so worried about money before deciding what to do with her? Like she told her the night before, if it wasn't for Heejin, she would have already lost all hope in finding anyone she could have a normal conversation with. She really was lucky to have met her.

"Well I seem to be doing alright," she finally answered, "My clothes are always clean, I get a good amount of food each day..." Just then, she saw Heejin walk in. "Oh and I have a great group of friends who love me very much."

"Hyunjin." Heejin paced over to the table with a purse over her shoulder.

"What took you so long?" Hyunjin asked.

Without even answering, Heejin took her by the arm and dragged her away from the table, completely ignoring whatshisname.

"Hey, hey!" Hyunjin covered , forgetting where she was as the librarian shot her a stern stare. She lowered her voice. "What's wrong? I thought we were going to—"

"No time. I have to show you something." Heejin led her out of the library and into the court yard. They went down the main path before breaking off and settling down under a shady tree where no one could see them. Heejin pulled out a large silver ball with an engraving of a moon on it. She just stared at it, as if expecting Hyunjin to know what it was.

"What is that?" She finally asked.

"Hyunjin... you're never going to believe me. I— it's hard to explain what it is but... do you remember my grandfather?"

"Yes?" Hyunjin couldn't tell if she liked the look on her friend's face or not, it was certainly different. She only half-lying, Heejin's grandfather had passed too long ago for her to have a solid image in her memory for him.

"Well last night after you left I went to talk with him and out of nowhere these rabbits come up to me with this. As soon as I got it in—"

"Wait, wait, wait, what?" Hyunjin couldn't believe she had said that as if it was the most ordinary thing. "Rabbits?"

"Yes rabbits. Anyway, as soon as I got this in my hands I could... I could... it's like there's a whole other world open to me. Not one that's off in the sky somewhere but one that's right here." She pulled out a smaller orb from the bag, this one was a pinkish color with the same engraving. "Hyunjin... I talked to a spirit last night."

Hyunjin shook her head and put both hands on her eyes, trying to get a grip on the whole thing. "Heejin... are you okay? Is the schoolwork getting to you too? Do you need to see a therapist? Because my mother knows-"

Heejin laughed as genuinely as Hyunjin had ever heard her laugh. "No, I don't need a therapist. I understand this is a little too much too take in but please, I'm not crazy and you know I would never lie to you."

Hyunjin just looked her straight in the eyes, the truth showed itself to her immediately. She really wasn't lying. "What else happened?"

"Right after I touched it, I saw so many colors. Colors I didn't even think were possible... but it only lasted for a few seconds. Ever since then I've been colorblind and I can only see color when—"

"Heejin!" She covered after the fact again before whispering. "Heejin... what!? You're colorblind? We need to take you to the doctor right now! C'mon." Hyunjin stood up, expecting her friend to do the same but she didn't. She just sat there looking up at her with the most peculiar look on her face.

"Please Hyunjin, sit back down. I'm sorry if I worried you. I didn't mean to."

The calmness in Heejin's words helped her sit back down. "Well you did. How could you be calm at a time like this? Heejin, I don't know if you realize what words are coming out of your mouth but you just said you're colorblind."

"You know what's interesting? In hindsight, I should've had the same reaction as you when it happened. I should've been screaming and calling for my mommy, but that didn't happen. There is something in me that's telling me this is alright, this is the way it’s supposed to be. I'm okay with this. As long as I can see you and you can see me, what's the problem right?"

Hyunjin wasn't even thinking at the moment, she was just letting out whatever words happened to be next in line. "What was the spirit you talked about? What did it tell you?"

"Well it doesn't really talk. I'm guessing it's because animals can't speak human languages, so it talks through images." Heejin held up the smaller pink orb. "The spirit lives in here. This one was created after I touched the silver one. I can only communicate with it when I'm holding it. I can also see in color right now, but as soon as I let it go, everything goes black and white again."

Hyunjin nodded, though still unsure of what to make of this insane revelation. She knew Heejin was telling the truth, or what she thought was the truth. Could it have been possible that someone was playing some really elaborate trick on— no... Oh god, this was insane. "Who else have you told about this?"

"No one else. Just you."

"You haven't told your parents?"

Heejin gave her a look that said "seriously?". "You know what would happen if I told them? They would confiscate it from me and go run off to show everyone else. No, I don't think anyone else needs to know. This is something that needs to be handled with care. You are the only person I can trust to not let this get out to anyone else."

This was so unlike Heejin. The Heejin she knew would never have kept something this big from her parents. There was definitely something strange going on with this thing. She could feel worry crawling under her skin. "So what do we do now?"

"Now..." Heejin put the orbs back in her back and stood, extending her arm out to pull Hyunjin up. "Now we do what we came here to do, study. Only we're not going to be doing anything school-related."

They headed back into the library, this time staying away from the back room. They asked the librarian for any books on spirits, history books, books on spirituality, and ancient religions, anything they could get their hands on. Then they spent a decent amount of time skimming each one of them, deciding which ones were worth keeping. The rest were handed back.

"That's the thing with history and spiritual books," the librarian said, "it's a bunch of he said this and this happened here, but by the time it gets to this point so much of it has been changed that you just don't know what you should believe."

A couple of the books they kept were wider than their faces. Hyunjin could already tell she was going to dread going through them, but this wasn't for any ordinary exam, this would be worth it. Whatever Heejin had discovered was important.

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After checking out the books, they went back to Heejin's home. Her parents were out in the town so they had the house to themselves. There was an old wooden structure in a tree in the back that was built in the shape of a small castle. Hyunjin could barely remember the last time they had played up there but they couldn't risk drawing any suspicion from Heejin's parents. They climbed up the creaky ladder, sat on the floor, and cracked open the books, looking for anything that could help them.

Hyunjin was going through hers quickly, looking only for a few key words to avoid reading everything. By the time she had gotten to the thirtieth page, Hyunjin's eyes were already getting heavy. A little later, her head was slipping off of her supporting hand and almost hitting the floor.

She looked over at Heejin who looked like she had just seen a ghost with how open her eyes were... oh wait. Hyunjin then looked at the silver orb that she had out. "Hey..."

"Did you find anything?"

"No but I have an idea... what would happen if I touched the orb?"

Heejin froze for a moment, seemingly in deep thought as she looked from Hyunjin to the orb. "I don't know... but I'm not sure if I want you to take that chance. I got off with just colorblindness but I don't know how it would affect you, even if it did give you positive effects."

"Well I'm willing to try, I don't mind being colorblind. Or if it's something else, how bad could it be?"

Heejin gave her a concerned look. "I'll... think about it... but I think we should keep reading first."

"Yeah... about that. I really want to help you Heejin, but my eyes are getting really tired. I could barely stay awake." Hyunjin's stomach grumbled. "And my belly's yelling at me."

Heejin laughed. "That's okay. How about we go bring something to eat and I can read to you."

"You're going to read me a history book for naptime?"

"Hey, it'll make falling asleep a little easier right?"

So, Heejin went inside and prepared the two of them a quick snack with some bread for Hyunjin. They took it back up to the tree castle and finished it quickly. Then Hyunjin lay her head down on her friend's lap as her low voice began reciting the words on the pages.

"... The ancient kingdoms were a period of intriguing cultures. Shamans were very popular in many areas, even more so than the present. It is difficult to say what..."

Heejin's voice caressed Hyunjin, slowly bringing her eyelids together.

Hyunjin found herself floating through soft white clouds among the deepest of blue skies. She looked up; the moon was out and shining its light over the land. Never had she seen a moon that big, or that bright. The beauty entranced her. On the surface of the moon, there lived a shadow of a cat. The shadow twisted and turned, as if moving to the rhythm of music.

Then, she heard the sound of a cat purring and her eyes flew open. She looked over at Heejin who had lied down next to her and fallen asleep, drooling on the book in between them. Hyunjin looked up at the same sky and noticed it getting a little darker.

She shook the drooling girl by the shoulder. "Heejin... Heejin..."

Heejin made a muffled sound and opened her eyes. "What? Did I fall asleep?"

"Ask your book."

"Aww..." Heejin wiped off and sat up stretching. "... afternoon laziness."

"So did you find anything?"

Heejin looked down at the book and grinned. "I think I did." She flipped a few pages back and pointed at a particular part among the many paragraphs. "You see? It doesn't go into much detail but its describing an ancient religion based around the spirits of animals and nature. It says there were even temples back then, but they were destroyed by invaders."

"You think this might be connected to your thing?"

"Maybe. It doesn't mention anything about the orbs or the moon though. Even if it did, there's not much to go off of here. I think whoever destroyed those temples probably also destroyed anything else having to do with it..."

Hyunjin sighed. It was like they had opened buried treasure and found nothing but sand. "You want to hear something weird?"

"What is it?"

"I had a dream just now. It seemed so real. I was flying in the sky..." Hyunjin closed her groggy eyes to really picture it again. "And I saw the moon... but it was bright like the sun. I saw a cat on the moon, then I heard it purr, not like a sound you hear in a dream but like an actual purr right next to my ear and woke up."

Heejin's eyes widened again as her jaw dropped.

"What is it?" Hyunjin asked. "I don't like the way you're looking at me."

"I had... the same dream. Except... I saw a rabbit in the moon with the cat. It just looked at me. I think there were doves flying next to me."

"... What?" Hyunjin couldn't move. She was unsure what the feeling rushing through her was. "What does this mean?"

"I don't—"

"Heejin what does this mean?" Hyunjin was bouncing up and down, biting her fingernails and staring at the orbs.

"Maybe..." Heejin took a moment to think. "What if they're trying to tell us something?”

"But I haven't touched the orb. How could they tell me anything?"

"I don't know. Maybe you just being close to it? Or maybe because you were touching me? But you do see what I said now right? The spirits use images. We just have to find out what it means."

Hyunjin took a long look at the orb, it began to glow a bit. A paw reached into the deepest part of her soul and dug its nails into it. "I think they want me to touch it."

Hyunjin saw the concern return to her friend's face again. She really loved how much she cared about keeping her safe, she really did, but sometimes it could a bit overprotective. Was this overprotection? How could anyone possibly overprotect someone from this?

Heejin spoke after a while, "Even if they do, I'm still not sure you should unless you're willing to accept anything that might come along with it."

"Heejin, you and I both know this whole thing would be a lot easier if the two of us had this... connection to the spirits. I think it's clear that they want someone else to touch the orb. Who else are you going to get to do it?" She wanted to just reach out and take to the orb. Why did she feel like this? There was a burning need to feel the orb against her fingers, but she respected Heejin too much to do that.

"Okay," Heejin said.

"Okay?"

"Yes. I guess we should do it... but not right now."

Hyunjin breathed heavily. This was way too much for her to take in. "Why not?"

"We should wait until the moon is out like in our dreams. That's when the silver orb was the brightest. Maybe it might limit the downsides if we do it like that, or you might have some deeper connection. What do you think?"

"O— okay... but what'll I tell my parents? They're going to be wondering where I was all day."

"Just tell them we got carried away with the studying, tell them I didn't let you go until we finished. We'll make it a sleep over like old times."

They smiled at each other as a warm breeze blew through the window.

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When Heejin's parents got home, she let them know that Hyunjin was spending the night with her. As was tradition, at sunset, they had dinner and for some reason Hyunjin felt more comfortable there than in her own. There was no one telling her to eat slower or nagging her about her school performance, plus Heejin's mother seemed especially happy that day. She even let them stay up in the castle to sleep.

The night was still warm when the sun set and the stars came out. Heejin and Hyunjin lay their backs on soft layers of bed covers, looking through the spaces among the leaves for the starlight. The moon was smiling down on them.

"Hey Heejin..."

"Yeah?"

"What do you think stars are? Are they like tiny suns or... little holes that the gods poked in the sky?"

"... when my grandpa passed away, my parents told me his soul turned into a star and went to live up there."

Hyunjin thought about that for a second. "Do you think my parents are up there? My brother?" Even the possibility of that brought a smile to her face.

"I'm sure they are."

Hyunjin tried to pick out three particular ones that she thought they would be before tears welled up in her eyes. She turned and wiped them away, hoping Heejin wouldn't see before putting on her usual face again. "When I was little, I used to think they were angels... Do you remember when we used to play royalty here?"

Heejin giggled. "And you would go on about your big hooped earrings? How could I not?"

Hyunjin sat up straight and looked down on her friend with snobbish eyes. "Well I am queen Hyunjin. Loyal squire Heejin, how many times must I remind you that my big hooped earrings are no laughing matter? Now please, go fetch them for me. The day is much too short for un-pierced ears.

Heejin mimicked her posture and tongue-in cheek tone of voice. "Ah, but queen Hyunjin, you forget that I am no longer a squire but a queen of the Ulalan family. Please show me your proper respect or I will be forced to cut off your supply of bread."

Hyunjin gasped. "I am very sorry queen. It's just that... I've never seen a squire become a queen before, how ever did you achieve this?"

"Because, queen Hyunjin, I was merely in disguise. Obviously only boys can be squires. You would know that if you were running a proper kingdom."

"But this is a proper kingdom. What kind of kingdom in this day and age does not allow for both boys and girls to be squires? You insult me with your intolerance queen Heejin. I will have to kindly ask you to leave my castle."

"But... this is my castle."

"No... this is my castle and I will have my big. Hooped. Ear-" The last words couldn't make it out before Hyunjin busted out laughing. She laughed until she was close enough to overlook a canyon of hysteria. She made sure to cherish this little moment before calming down and taking a big breath. "I think I'm ready."

Heejin nodded and placed the silver orb in between the two of them.

"Okay," Heejin said, "it's going to feel really weird. Don't get scared." She took Hyunjin's hand and gripped it tight. "Whatever happens, wherever it takes you, I'll be there."

Hyunjin nodded and puffed herself up with air before slowly breathing it out. She took her free hand and placed it on the orb.

There was a tingling sensation in her palm at first, which traveled up her arm and through her body. The orb grew brighter. Stillness overtook her body and she closed her eyes, focusing on Heejin's hand. Even with closed eyes, everything became yellow. Her body became both frozen and boiling and she felt as if she was floating. Then, she felt something in her chest, like a long lost friend and a welcome stranger. She heard the sound of a cat purr echo in her head again and she came back down to the floor.

When she opened her eyes, there was a small yellow orb lying on the floor. She took it and looked up at Heejin.

"Are you okay?" Heejin asked, "What do you feel?"

Hyunjin saw something in her eyes that she had never seen before. She couldn't speak or smile. All she could do was nod and stare. Then, it was as if the same force that had just entered her took control. She grasped the sides of Heejin's head violently and pulled her in for a kiss. Their lips were locked in silence for a while, before Hyunjin felt Heejin back away slightly. Then, Hyunjin pulled herself away, shaking and covering . A cold chill rushed through her body and she felt exposed, she felt vulnerable. It was like all the lost souls in the sky were looking down on her and judging her for what she had just done, for what she promised herself she would never do.

She got up quickly and headed for the door. "I'm sorry." She didn't want to look back, her legs moved by themselves.

"Wait!" She heard Heejin's feet coming from behind but she was already on the ground and running before she could reach her. "It’s okay! Don't leave..."

Heejin's voice faded away behind her as she ran past the gate and out into the night streets. Tears were streaming down her face and she avoided the eyes of anyone she came across as she ran back uphill. Her body felt weightless and no matter how far she ran, no matter how many tears she shed, her hand was still gripped tightly around the yellow orb. The cat settled into its happy little abode.

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A/N: Happy Kim Lip Day!