001.

The night was chilly. As if it was waiting for the first snow to come by. Naeun could write letters by the windows with the dew, which is what she been doing for the past hour. She tapped her nails on the windows and pulled her fingertips so she could make a nonsense shapes. She was dreading something—terrified of what she was going to face next. Her face shifted to the man she had been nursing half of her life. He looked like he sleep peacefully through the chilly night.

                He had wires latched onto his body. He looked helpless—been like this since three years ago. Naeun found out that her old man had to have expensive medical treatment, in order to slow down his cancer. Old man said he have no hope, but when Naeun brought him to hospital, doctors said he might have a slight chance of survival. She only needed that slight chance. So, despite her economics, she pushed her father to the treatments in hopes of healing.

                Naeun should’ve thought this through. All it did was making her father suffer from the pain and the bankruptcy on her father’s business. She had nothing left. The insurance only covered so little from all of her outcomes. If only she waited for a longer time, she wouldn’t have to be in this situation. If she could manage the business well, she wouldn’t be in this position. Everything seemed like it was her fault. Naeun brought this upon her family. So it was only fair if Naeun took the punishment.

                She found a way though. She found something that would help her father and their existence. That something offered to help with all of their outcomes and will likely to give monthly income to Naeun to live her life. Seemed like a dream come true, isn’t it? Well, it was too good to be true. There was a catch. The catch was for Naeun to give up her life and join the mob business he created. She should’ve known that Father—the boss—isn’t one to play around. He was a real deal. People were afraid of him. Father didn’t scared of police either.

                Father didn’t take no for answers that they did upon themselves. Father only granted wishes and wished to have a payment. For Naeun, he wanted her devotion. In which was precious for her, but she had done this upon herself—so she gave in. Now, Naeun felt scared to death. Her heart was beating so fast. Her palms were sweating despite the cold weather. She felt suffocated. Father said that he will send someone to pick her up to their base. That was where she will live until her father went well.

                Footsteps were heard outside the room. She stood up, knowing well it was one of his goons. She pulled her baggage closer. She looked ready, but her eyes said the otherwise. The thumping got nearer, until a man in suit came in. Naeun dug her nails on her palms. She was so scared. The man was taller and big. His eyes were sharp and he looked like ready to kill. Naeun could see a few wrinkles, but she knew well that he could kill a man with bare hands.

                “Miss Naeun.” He called.

                “Yes.”

                “Whenever you are ready.” He said, looking at her father.

                Naeun understood. She moved closer to her father’s bed and kissed him in the forehead before she could whisper, “I’ll be at work.”

                “Your father is in the right hands.” He assured.

                Naeun followed him into a black sedan car. There was a chauffeur who drive the car while the man sit next to him. Naeun sat in the back seat with her baggage beside her. It was an awfully long silent ride. There was no radios or music. It was pure silence and a bit of phone tapping. Naeun shifted a bit, feeling uncomfortable. The man seemed to notice how Naeun acted because he suddenly started to say, “Father will take care of you.”

As if it would make Naeun feel safer.

                “A lot of people in your position is now comfortable with their family.” The man continued.

                “When can I see my father?” Naeun gathered up her voice.

                “On my position, I go home to my family,” He answered. His voice was deep and sharp, but there was a hint of pleasant. “But you will undergo your payment by staying at Father’s side until he decided that you can leisurely walk outside.”

                “No holidays?”

                “Holidays is a holidays. You can check out by that time.”

                Naeun nodded. It was her punishment, she had to carry it on. No time to regret.

                A few moments later, the sedan pulled up into a big house. It almost seemed like a palace rather than a house. There were guards with black suit—like the man—and some of them were holding guns. Naeun felt shiver down her spine. This is where she was going to live. There were this huge garden that they need to cross in order to reach the parking lot.

                The parking lot was never she had ever seen. Black cars lined up perfectly, as if they had a party in the house. When they parked the car, a man voluntarily opened the door for Naeun. He looked sharp and stoic. Naeun got out with her baggage in hand. The man—who was in the car ride with Naeun—walked into the garage with fingers signaling her to follow him. Naeun walked through the garage, only to find a door into the house. The house was exactly like Naeun predicted: gold, royal, and expansive despite men inside the house, talking and playing cards.

                The house was rather loud. The goons were laughing and yelling as they speak. It was more like a frat house with suits rather than a mob business. But Naeun didn’t get ahead of herself. She knew that she hadn’t meet Father and there was no way that Father was near that kind of things. The man went up the stairs. Naeun was struggling to pull her baggage.

                “Oi,” The man yelled to the group of men. “Is there nobody man enough to help our guest?”

                The room went silent. Suddenly, somebody grabbed Naeun’s baggage and ran upstairs. Naeun couldn’t see his face well, but it sure shocked the room into a profound silence.

                “Man up, Alan.” He patted Alan—the man who was in the car ride—and left her baggage at the top of the stairs.

                Alan looked shocked, but he managed to say, “Yes, sir. I’m sorry.”

                The man yelled nonchalantly as he disappear to another alley, “Never mind, Alan.”

                Alan waited for Naeun at the top of the stairs. He held the baggage, taking control of the thing after his ‘sir’ just mentioned about it. Naeun felt a sense of change in his mannerism. He didn’t look so stoic anymore. He acted more like a human than a machine. Then, they both walked towards a room—ill-feeling room, preserved, and cold. Naeun shuddered when they got to the front door. Alan fixed his suit before knocking the door. The knocking was so loud in Naeun’s ear—it started to ring by itself. She was that terrified. Her feet were planted there, unable to move involuntarily. Her palms started to sweat again.

                “Who’s there?” A sharp, deep voice came from the room.

                Alan answered, “Alan. And I brought your payment.”

                A pause.

                “Come in.” The voice suddenly answered. Alan twisted the knob, slowly revealing the office. Everything looked so rustic and elegant, even though a lot of the designs involved dark colors. There were a few bookshelves in the corner of the room, two set of sofas, coffee table—and when Naeun laid her eyes straight, she saw a dark table and there sat someone: brawny and looked harmful. Alan let Naeun came in first, then he made sure to lock the doors.

                Naeun was trapped.

                “Hello, Naeun.” He finally said.

                Naeun managed to answer, “Good day, Father.”

                “How is it going?”

                “It’s been well. Thanks to your kindness, Father.”

                “Good to hear. How’s your papa?”

                “Papa is showing good signs, Father.”

                Father nodded, pleased. He fixed his position and gestured his hand to the chair in front of him. Naeun realized that she had been standing in front of the door all along. She could see Father’s faint smile. It was one of his greeting—his hospitality to his guest. Naeun sat down, feeling anxious than ever. Father looked at her deeply, his smile was no longer seen. There was only his sharp glance and stoic face. Naeun wished she could run away.

                “Now, child,” He began. “Are you ready?”

                Naeun knew what to say, “I’m ready, Father.”

                “You will undergo the transaction you made for both of us. I will offer you good monthly salary and pay all your debts in exchange of your devotion in my side.”

                “Yes, Father.”

                “Now,” His tone changed. “Me and your Papa go way back. You can say… he helped me to become who I am now. I owe him—I don’t like having unsettled favor. Usually, newborns will undergo an initiation from the whole circle. Therefore, I will give you no initiation and I expect you learn as you work here.”

                “Thank you, Father, for your kindness.” Naeun bowed. She was considered lucky to be able to skip the initiation part because it was hellish. She might die before it ended. Now that one problem is solved, there are another one: learning. Naeun had to learn to pick fights, knifes, and kill. She had to be able to do it. Despite her lack of knowledge on martial arts, she had to try harder than anybody else.

                “So you will work as my youngest son’s secretary/assistant, Jongin. He will teach you how to adapt to the situation.” Father said.

                Naeun was helpless. Once she got into this mess, there was no exit—no going back. She will—and has to—be Father’s loyal servant. So, all Naeun did was to agree on everything Father said. He seemed to gesture something with Alan, in which Alan agreed and rummaged a cabinet. He pulled out a stick—like ones in the fireplace—and he put the stick onto the fire in the fireplace.

                “Welcome to the family, Naeun.” Father said.

                Naeun suddenly felt a painful sting in the right side of her shoulder. Alan was holding her back, pushing something hot into her skin. Naeun cried, feeling her skin slowly burned off. She cried to let her go, but Alan didn’t bother to hear. Until Alan felt enough, he pulled back the stick. In the right shoulder of Naeun, there lied a newly burned brand. The brand of House of Kim.

                The brand of her absence in freedom.