Kwon ing Jiyong kissed me!

I still can feel his soft lips on mine while I lay alone on the bed that night. He kissed me twice a matter of fact, and I love them both. First, it seems like he is tasting my reaction when he pressed his lips on mine for a couple of seconds. But when he pulled his face and finding that I didn’t reject it, he goes with the second kiss which is deeper and demanding.

I don’t know how to react at that time because of shock and overwhelmed altogether. But when he finally ends the kiss, Kwon Jiyong holds me tight and whisper in my ear he pleads to ask me to stay and I helplessly answer it with a nod.

And that’s it. He walks me to my room and kiss me good night at the cheek and close the door. Leaving me and my thought wandering about what exactly had happened.

Kwon ing Jiyong kissed me! Okay, it’s the second time I shout the words in my mind. But the reality keeps banging in the brain and shakes all my bitter thought about him in reverse. It surely hard to believe that he might have felt to me, that he like me and all that he has done to me is something real and sincere because of that feeling.

On the back of my mind start wondering any possibility if I translate his action wrongly. How if this is not what I think it is? What if he accidentally did it just because he wanted me to stay and didn’t have the same thinking as mine? Excuse me to have a weird thought like that, I’ve been through a kind of the same situation with that ing actor wannabe Choi Seunghyun. I should be more cautious about any of the things that happen to me regarding all celebrities.

That different kind of thought makes me restless that night, I confuse when I feel happy and afraid that this is just a dream, another nightmare that I will have for weeks after my previous bad experience when I interpret someone’s feelings to me wrongly.

It was just before dawn I finally surrender to my tired eyes, even though my busy mind still grinding my consciousness and makes me nervous with what will happen next when I met him.

I woke up heavy-headed at almost 8 a.m. It’s the time when Kwon Jiyong would leave for his morning classes. He once said to me he prefers to take the earliest classes because it’s quicker and lesser attendance, he gives me the impression that he’s not comfortable being so popular in the college with girls and boys willing to follow him just to be known as one of his closest friends. I’ve seen that kind of type of people, that what Seunghyun’s friends have at that time, who crowded him everywhere he goes, and that er loves the attention.

Another fact that I found on Kwon Jiyong that I didn’t know is he takes 22 hours of 9 subjects this semester! He might have a brilliant brain but it doesn’t make sense for me taking that much hours, and I don’t even have real work to run! I wonder what kind of man he made of…

I’m a little bit in a hurry waking up when I see the time. I don’t know why it bothers me if I didn’t have chance to see him before he leaves, so I kind of jump from my bed and walks as fast as I could to open the door and found that gorgeous man standing in front of it, looking so fresh and handsome and smells good.

. me I’m so done.

I’m so embarrassed about my state. My unruly wavy hair must be everywhere, and I haven’t wash my face, my breath can kill this man in one meter away.

“Hey, I just thought that I might wake you up before I leave.” He smiles his gorgeous smiles with his light brown eyes sparkling walks closer to me and I instinctively take a step back. Kwon Jiyong notice my movement and freeze. His smiles slowly faded.

I was afraid he will come closer and see how awful my appearance right now, and I close my mouth while answering him,

“What? What do you want?”

I saw his slump hid shoulder and look at me disappointedly.  

“Never mind… I just want to tell you that I’m leaving. And I might not go back for lunch so I had prepared it once for you. I’ll be home in the afternoon after checking my chores at YG with Youngbae,” he replied softly. I could see him reluctant to do anything else, and my thought starts screaming something wrong.

“Ji…” I call him when he turns his body to approach the front door. He stops and turns his head while I come to him and hugs him from behind.

I don’t know what makes me do that! I think I’m too terrified if I made a mistake to see his previous reaction.

Jiyong stands rigidly because he was surprised by what I’ve done. And slowly his body gets calm and he cupped his hand over mine and squeeze it gently.

“I’ll be back soon as I can, I promise.” His words hung in the air with a promise of something else that will happen between us. My heart beating so hard I think Jiyong would feel it on his back.

That man turns his body slowly to me once more and then he kisses my forehead.

“Don’t you dare to think that I already forgot to what had happened between us, because I won’t give up, even if you chicken out I’ll get you. Do you understand?” He said that to me like it was a thread, but I think it’s a good thread as it hit by my dull brain that still feeling how nice it is to hug his body like that and smelling his scent that I thought is the best that I ever thought a man could have.

“Do you heard me?” he repeat his question because I didn’t say anything.

“I’m not deaf.”

“You’re not answering.”

I look at him and saw that he’s serious.

“Oh okay. I know! You’re ing nagging little pr…” Kwon Jiyong stops my bickering by kissing me. I was so shocked I can’t avoid it but close my mouth tightly.

I push his body but he tighten his hold on my waist and I try harder so finally, he let me go.

“What’s wrong with you? Can’t I kiss you?” Jiyong protested.

“Not until I brush my teeth you .” I bark replying with my face so hot and that makes him laugh out loud while I look at him annoyed. When he finished laughing he my unwashed face gently while smiling.

“I don’t care about your morning breath. But you’re cute,” he said mildly.

“I’m not cute! Stop calling me that.” Jiyong laughs again, and kiss my cheek.

“Yes, you are. I want to wait for you to brush your teeth but I can’t late this morning class. So… See you this afternoon, okay?”

Jiyong walks smoothly to the cabinet and takes his car key, he should be in a hurry because of the distraction I made. When he was about closing the door he flies me a kiss and grins widely when looking at my still pouting face.

But when the door closed, I felt a flood of joy rush over me. I feel so relieved that all my worries last night was rubbish and it makes me grins like a moron.

I still grinning and light-headed and my heart still beating uneven remembering something good might happen when he came back from his work. Ah, talking about work, it makes me remember that I should make some move to my part-time job problem. The biggest problem is, this ing celebrity Kwon Jiyong as now might be my boyfriend’s apartment – urgh, thinking of that makes me giddy – was so far away from my law firm location where I should be there at least today to affirm that I am still interested with the job.

The law firm located about 24 miles from this apartment, it will take about 40 minutes to get there by bus, the cheapest transportation mode I could afford right now. After checking for the bus route and estimate time to get to the law firm while taking my breakfast, I decide to start to go back to my part-time job today. I might skip for the college until my wound healed completely because I can’t use my right hand to do anything, so I think I should go with the priority first, that is my job that will pay my bills.

I get ready by taking a shower and change my cloth which takes almost an hour with not many difficulties and heading to the bus stop about 200 meters from the apartment building. Regarding the route, I should take at least 2 times changes, I wish the changes are not taking so much time.

So I start my journey to go to the firm law by myself, by bus with the new route that I’ve never done before, I calculate the time while doing that to make sure about the estimated time I’d need if one day I should go to work from Jiyong’s apartment.

Ah… that sudden thought makes me blush. Damn why I think about that right now? What I hope for this? To think that this relationship happens still feels so unreal for me. How long this going to last? One week? Three days? Or maybe just after midnight like that cinder-ing-rella tales, I don’t know. What I know is his life and mine was too ing different.

Kwon Jiyong’s life was made to be recognized by others as a superstar one day, and mine was made to be disappeared from others. All the whole time I live, I never thought that I am worth being noticed by others. Who am I asking for those things? I just a regular boy from small-town who even want to get lost from my parent’s sight.

And that’s what had happened! No one notices me, the quiet and introverted guy who never wants to be recognized by others. Even in the time when I followed Seunghyun hyung at the college when he summons me to be his spare to practice the dialogue, no one bothers to ask him who is that little funny looking boy who tagging along with him like an obedient personal assistant is. My life is quietly invisible at that time and I’m okay with that.

And all the experience that taught me well about being different, I have to add another point at my NOT TO DO lists if I want to survive the way that I’ve to get through. Don’t let people know you better especially that you’re gay. Don’t get me wrong, it’s completely different from my self-acceptance as a gay, I just don’t want to open up and announce it to all God created and giving me s after that.

That’s why I’m so confused about what happened to me and that gorgeous man from the chemistry class. He’s handsome, he’s popular, he doesn’t even look like gay or bi, he has a very good future life, and he like a guy like me? If only he’s not already kissed me the third time in less than 24 hours, I surely can’t believe it.

And one thing. He’s a celebrity for God shakes. A type of man that I should avoid and hates. And now I should eat my karma because I make that statement to my way of life. Yeah... Yeah... I know sometimes God wants to play with His creation, but can’t He consider it as a cruel one?

All that random thought accompany me on my way to the law firm, and I succeed to be there in about half an hour. The receptionist in that law firm looks so happy to see me just because she doesn’t have to handle a double job to the position where I should be in.

She quickly gives me all the stack of papers to do it almost cover all my little cubicle to work it out and leave me without asking if I might need some help because my right hand still covered with a bandage. I sigh helplessly. It’s my risk, my fault that I’m so careless and now I should face the consequences.

I start to sort out the papers before input them to the firm system. I want to do this as fast as I can so the job will be much easier tomorrow. I collect and select the mountain of papers for hours, I didn’t realize Kwon Jiyong calling me so many times because I should turn off the sound if I want to keep the cellphone near me. Sounds were illegal in that workspace. And being so busy makes me forget about that man. Hell, no one calls me when I’m at work before, but Kwon Jiyong did. I didn’t expect this to be our first fight but also the realization of a condition that I never knew I had…

***************

I was out from the la