“SOMEWHERE IN THIS WORLD, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE PEOPLE THAT WILL APPRECIATE YOU AS YOU ARE. BELIEVE. SURVIVE."

***

Chaewon is having her lunch with her friends at school. After chattering for a little while, they decided to take a little walk around the school before the bell ring.

“Chaewon-ah, we need to talk for a bit.”

Said one of her friend while tapping on Chaewon’s shoulder.

“Sure, let’s go to the toilet first. I need to fix my makeup for a bit.”

Replied Chaewon. Somehow, she felt quite peculiar with the way her friend address her just now.

Upon arriving at the toilet, Chaewon quickly reapplied her lip balm and turning towards her friends.

“So… What do you need to talk about?”

Her friend stuttered for a bit before taking a deep breath and replying to Chaewon’s question.

“You know, I think that you are not suitable to be our friends, in our clique especially.”

Said the girl with a ponytail right at Chaewon face. Without Chaewon being able to brain this situation, another girl added;

“Yeah. I think so too. You are just too weird. One second you are all nice and smiling, next second you turned cold. It scared us, you know.”

So, this is it huh? Again? How many time does it happened in her life, being rejected just because she is just a little bit… Reserved. Not revealing her other side towards people whom you are yet to figure out whether to trust them or vice versa.

“It is clearly the latter, you fool.”

Chaewon mumbled to herself before taking a deep breath and replying to them;

“Is that so? Took you guys long enough to kick me out from your circle. Farewell, es.”

With a smirk plastered on her face, she rushed out from the toilet, leaving the group speechless upon listening to her reply.

“Why? Why people are avoiding me when all I do is just being me?”

With tears pooled and running through her face, Chaewon walking as fast as she could towards the rooftop. She managed to grab her school pack earlier before rushing there.

“I wish I can kill myself! No people will notice my absence, right? But it will be too troublesome and kinda hurt so why not just shut others?

No. It is troublesome too. Ugh!

Why? Why me? God, why are you testing me with all of this?”

Upon arriving at the rooftop, Chaewon shouted her lungs out. Pouring her innest content to the sky, where she could find her most peaceful time. Tears are still rolling on her cheeks and she did not bother to wipe it out.

“This happened many times in the past. People are the one approaching me, acting all friendly and goody-goody. I tried to PUSH them from MY world! But they kept pestering me until I opened up a little.

When I think I can trust them, they kick me out! Again and again! Why? Am I that bad in everyone eyes? Why did you bother created me, God?”

She kneeled on the floor while rubbing her tears. She hold her emotions all this time, trying not to burden anyone with anything while trying her best to entertain everybody needs. And this all she got.

“I just want to be happy. To be able trusting someone with all my heart. To have a circle of REAL friends with me through thick and thin. Is it that difficult to be granted?”

Chaewon muttered that words while slumping herself on the floor. Her earliest memory of being kicked out and ignored flashin