C17: I Don't Think I'm Okay

My eyes fly open, air rushing through my lips causing a loud gasping sound to come out of my throat. My eyes land on a white ceiling before Taeyong’s face comes into view. A tear slides down my cheek but Taeyong is quick to wipe it away. I sit up slowly noticing I’m in a hospital bed.   “Where am I?”   “You passed out in Doctor Han’s office, so she had you moved to a room to hook you up on some fluids. I came in asking about you shortly after an hour passed and was directed here.”   “How long has it been?” I ask to which he answers it had only been a few hours.   “Are you okay?” He raises an eyebrow, I’m assuming he was asking about the fact that I now knew I miscarried. But I knew much more than that. I knew everything. I now knew why Jaehyun went to the lengths he did to hide this from me. I saw how I was before I decided to erase my memories. Taeyong’s hand moves towards my forehead but I flinch back and he freezes.   “I-I just want to make sure I don’t accidentally do anything.” I murmur, “I remember pretty much everything now, Taeyong.”   “Oh.” His hand falls as he sits down in the chair beside my bed.   I run a hand through my hair, “Did you know that I tried to kill myself?”   His eyes widen sitting up straight, “No, oh my god, Yooyeon!”   “It’s okay,” I shake my head, “My demons came for me, the demons and me fought and you know," I glance down at my lap. "I’m not too sure which of us really won?”   “Will you be okay moving forward now, knowing everything?” Taeyong hums resting a hand on my arm over the sheet that covered it.   “I don’t know.” I answer truthfully. Nothing had really changed, but also everything had. It was odd. But if my demons from before come back, my depression will too. And I think next time I'll be choosing the other path.   “Listen, I called Jaehyun, to let him know what happened. He deserved to know.” He murmurs and I slowly nod more so to myself.   “I agree, he did save my life once before.” My hands raise out from under the sheets, fingers picking at the sheets. “He also deserves an apology from me. I shouldn’t have tried to force him to tell me, living through it all again just moments ago made me realize that all over again.”   As if on cue the door to my room slides open and Jaehyun rushes in. When he notices I’m sitting up and look fine he slows down and sighs.   “What happened?” He takes a deep breath trying to regulate his breathing.   “I remembered.” I simply state to which his eyes widen.   His mouth opens but I cut him off.   “And I’m sorry fo