8 weeks later
Sehun stared at the walls inside his and Kai's bedroom. For no reason, It drove him mad. The merman ran his hand along the ridges as though he’s searching for secrets, some hidden brail in the panted wall. But it remained unknowable, itching on his restless and relentless mind. “Sehun, what are you doing?” Kai  asked, entering the room. “Slowly losing my mind,” Sehun hummed, settling back on the bed, a hand protectively over the swell of his belly. “How much longer do I have to stay hidden?" It had been two months since the wedding and Sehun was currently four months in. His belly was now visible(to everyone) and Kai told him he couldn't go out, because seeing a pregnant male would cause panic to the humans, and just staying in the house for two months and another two months to come was driving him insane. He wanted to go out there visit his friends,  or go shopping with his husband, or just to some place but he couldn't which was really depressing to him. The house felt like an impasse, a stalemate suddenly, not that he didn't appreciate his husband's presence but ever since Jungkook moved out(which was a few days after the wedding) Jimin's visits had become less and Sehun missed his friends. He wanted to go visit them but he was unable to do so. “I’m sorry, baby,” Kai sighed, seemingly ancient with a heavy weight on his shoulders. “I know you feel trapped and I wish there's something I could do to make it better to make you feel better."
The human shuffled over, placing his palm over Sehun's belly, gently rubbing it in a circular motion. The sensation had all the hairs on Sehun's arms stoop on end, and warmth filling his chest. Kai's scent, it was the safest smell in the world, putting the merman at ease instantly. "I really want you and the babies to feel okay" "I know" Sehun said, joining the hand on his tummy, he could feel the twins moving slightly, it had been a month since Jiyong told them Sehun was having twins, the older siren had become his Obstetrician and he come every week to check on Sehun and the babies."Please, Kai, only for a few minutes!" He whined.   "Sehun, you know you can't go outside. It's too risky" Sehun stuck out his bottom lip and made it quiver a little. "Kai, please! I haven't left this house for over a month, I just want to breathe a little fresh air. It'll be good for the babies." He argued. "You can spend as much time as you want in the pool room or the garden, there is plenty of fresh air. Even fresher than the city air polluted by exhaust and stuff." Kai reasoned back. He'd love to let Sehun go outside but how would they explain the swell on his tummy? Sehun's eyes turned glassy. Oh no... "I'm always in the stupid pool room and the garden with it's stupid flowers. I want to go outside, I want to go and eat out. I wanna feel like a normal person, not a bloated whale, caged in a golden prison." The mer sulked, a few tears streaming down his cheeks. At this point Kai was almost used to Sehun crying because it happened a lot due to his hormones. Most of the times it didn't even mean anything. You could literally show him a picture of a puppy and he would cry you a river. Now, it were probably only angry tears. Sehun wiped them away with his sleeve, only being even more triggered by them. "Come on baby, don't be like this. I'm here with you we can still have a fun day. I'll go buy you whatever food you want and we can watch all the Ironman movies." Kai tried, reaching out to caress his husband's hair but Sehun slapped his hand away. "No, it's not about the food it's about the atmosphere while being in a nice restaurant. And I saw the movies already millions of time, leave me alone." "Baby, please, tell me how I can help you." "Take me out." Sehun insisted, glaring at him with angry tears still in his eyes. He felt as if Kai was ashamed of him, (which was really not true) "You know I can't do that."  Kai brought his other hand to draw soothing circles on Sehun's lower back but Sehun also didn't want to be touched. His body had changed, where he was once thin and lithe, he’s now swollen and cumbersome. Kai was only allowed to touch his belly and nothing more. The mer slapped Kai's hand away again. The human immediately withdrew, a desperate look in his eyes. They haven’t been intimate since Sehun's belly properly started showing which was 5 weeks ago and Sehun used the combined excuses of trauma(he scoffed inwardly at that) and not hurting the babies to keep Kai at bay. But both things were bull. The babies were doing great and having wouldn't hurt them, Trauma was something that no longer bothered Sehun (the incident had long past and he had forgotten about it) and it didn't stop him before. No, the actual reason was that he was no longer feeling attractive, as mundane and pathetic as that sounded. "Do you want to rest? you should get more rest.” Kai said taking a few steps backward. “Don’t patronize me,” Sehun said, frowning as heat flooded his cheeks. “I am not patronizing you. I just–" Kai ran his hands through his brunet hair. "Tell me what to do to make you feel better?" Sehun didn't answer. He turned to his side, facing away from Kai, curling in on himself. “Just go,” the mer huffed. “Like you said, I need sleep.” “Baby, are you mad at me?” Kai asked in a small voice. “No,” Sehun replied, not skipping a beat. “I’m just tired and pregnant, okay?” Kai ruffled his silver locks ever so gently, before pressing a kiss to his temple. “Okay. I’ll get dinner started, yeah? I’ll wake you in an hour.” “Fine,” Sehun managed, curling into a tighter ball. The mer ignored the heartbroken look in Kai's eyes as he left, flicking off the light, and closing the door, but leaving a little crack in it, just the way Sehun liked. The worst thing was that Sehun's pregnant body was literally screaming for Kai to stay. His scent, his presence, the mer needed it. Sehun was so desperate that he had to bite down on one of the pillows to keep from calling out. His body was so touch starved that his skin actually hurt, all of it, every square inch. Pain shot up his spine every time he took a breath. It’s enough for Sehun to claw at his own chest, running ruby marks there, so at least he could have something acute to focus on. But Kai was so protective, he’s bound to notice. The human fussed for two hours over a paper cut Sehun got last week, which healed a few minutes later but still Kai didn't shut up about it.  He just feel so lonely, he wanted to have Kai with him, making love but he couldn't, he was too self conscious. And the– the pregnancy hormones were messing with him, making him sad and angry over little things, he didn't know what his own problem was. So with no way to cope, Sehun quietly counted to himself, the number of breaths he took. He hit one hundred and seven before he fell asleep.  In his sleep, he saw himself going into full siren mood swimming in the ocean, with his pups beside him, feeding in on different sea creatures, one of his babies was attached by someone– something Sehun couldn't recognize– “Baby?” Kai shook him awake. “Are you okay? You were- You were crying in your sleep.” Sehun sighed, his grey eyes connecting with Kai's brownish-grey ones. “You’re supposed to let people sleep through their nightmares.” Kai blinked a few times. “Sehun- you-” Sehun's hand was on Kai's throat. Upon realizing, he quickly loosened it. “I’m so sorry,” the mer yelped. “Did I hurt you?” He quickly shot up, ignoring his back’s protest. He checked Kai's throat with his hand, gently running his fingers along his Adam's apple. And Kai moaned, eyelids sliding shut. “Kai?” Sehun whispered. “Are you hurt? I’m so so sorry.” His husband shook his head. “No, baby. I-It’s just been a while since you’ve touched me.” Sehun's hands immediately fell to his side, cheeks flushing. “Oh.” “Dinner’s ready. I made your favorite,” Kai told him. “I’ll be out in a minute,” Sehun grumbled, burning like a furnace. Kai nodded and left, quickly scampering off the bed. The mer took a whole minute to steady himself before he followed. And immediately he knew something was amiss. His senses tingle. Perhaps it’s the hyper-awareness that came with being four months pregnant. He smelled a trap, well set and subtle but certainly there. His suspicions were confirmed a moment later, when the table came into view, lit by soft candlelight, covered by a red and white picnic cloth. The centerpiece was a handful of pink carnations, or maybe it’s Kai, wearing a scoop neck shirt he was most definitely not wearing before. Two plates of mouthwatering cooked fish and another plate of fresh fish were sitting innocuously at the table, rosemary garnish, and a side of roasted potatoes. “I’ll eat in my room,” Sehun said, eyes narrowed to slits. Kai sighed. “Just sit down, baby.” The pregnant mer reluctantly placed his in a chair. The soft lighting, and the way Kai smelled, both simultaneously set him on edge and pacify him to no end. “This is manipulative,” Sehun called him out. But he started cutting into his fish anyway and eating. There’s no point in starving the babies. “Something’s wrong. I’m not stupid,” Kai replied carefully. “I love you. I want to take care of you. Can you just tell me what’s up?” Sehun took a sip of his salt+water and kept chewing. Tears suddenly started pouring out of his eyes, but he ignored it. “What is bothering?” Kai whispered. “I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose , especially not when you- i know you're pregnant, was it something I did?" “No,” Sehun said definitively. “I know you’d never hurt me. I feel trapped I just want to be in a different place or the Sea– I – I, It's just that–" he let out a deep breath. Kai's eyes were wide with fear. “Then what is it? Do you want to–to leave me?” Sehun sighed, bearing with the pain in his chest. “No, baby. I’m not leaving. I won’t ever leave you.” “Then tell me what’s happening? Why can’t I touch you anymore?” Kai pleaded. “Whatever I did, I’ll fix it.” Sehun's nose was dripping and he couldn't be bothered to clean it off. He was too upset.“I’m fat.” Kai blinked a few times but said, though his expression read, "Come again?" “I-I don’t feel y,” Sehun continued, pointing his fork at Kai. “Look at me, look at this,” he then aimed to the bump of his belly. “I just don’t want you to see me like this. I’m ugly. I can’t even look at myself in the shower.” Kai deflated, head tilting to the side. “What?” Sehun sniffled, trying to back in the tears. “I’m so hideous right now.” Kai jumped out of his seat, and knelt at Sehun's feet, taking his hand. “You’re beautiful. You’re glowing, baby. I can barely keep my hands off you." Sehun shook his head, gesturing at his big belly once again. "That's not true. Just look at how fat I've become and I will become even fatter in a few more weeks." "What are you talking about? You are not going to be fat. Your belly will be full with a small, new lives. If that isn't the most beautiful thing ever then I don't know what is." Kai smiled just before quickly adding "But even if you were fat, you'd still be beautiful a-and I'd still love you."  Sehun frowned, trying his best not to melt into his husband pleasant touch. “You have to say that. You’re the one who made me this way.” “You’re perfect,” Kai continued, pressing a kiss to the mer's knees. “I don’t say it enough. I just assume you know.” Sehun's heart slammed against his ribs,