and cut

chapter five

***

“I’m getting my money back…”

It’s the first thing that Rosé sputters out of .

Unintentionally, of course.

But her eyes are practically bulging out of their sockets and her nostrils are flaring at the jaw-dropping revelation, and again, holy she’s going to have Jisoo be on bathroom duty for two months (doubling it because Rosé had scrubbed the hell out of that bathroom for a month when the clear winner here is her and she freakin’ ing knew it!), and most importantly, she’s getting back her 50,000 won—

No, no.

Focus here, Rosé.

Focus.

“What?” Jennie looks up to her, eyes bloodshot red. She wipes her sticky cheeks, gently this time, from the dried up tears with her soaked sleeve. Rosé unlocks her arms as Jennie breaks from the embrace, her hands gripping the edge of her mattress.

Rosé shakes her head. “I’m sorry, go on.”

Jennie brushes her hair with her hand, parting it to the other side, exemplifying a beautiful hot mess and Rosé curses at how life can be so unfair when a person can manage to be so naturally gorgeous even after bawling their eyes out. If it were her, she would have snot dripping from her nose, face and eyelids bloating from the hoarse ugly crying that she would wound up resembling a humanized Joohwang.

Not the most attractive sight.

“Um,” Jennie starts, exhaling loudly, sitting upright and face-to-face with Rosé. “So she’s told you about how she came to my hotel in Thailand right?”

Rosé nods. “Uhuh.”

“Well, she got drunk on wine pretty fast and it was barely half a bottle—”

“Weak .”

“—then she begins saying these things and confessed she had a thing for this trainee before, can’t remember the name but she was an okay dancer but Lisa would go nuts whenever she danced. Anyway, I tell her that it’s fine, I’m cool with it, and she hugs me and thanks me for countless of times. I don’t know how we got to, uh, this point. I was tipsy, though I was still conscious. We were both laughing at something stupid she said, like she couldn’t pronounce this English word, until we locked eyes and…and, yeah.”

Jennie brings her legs up to the bed, drawing her knees close to her chest. It’s a tactical move, Rosé realizes, as Jennie hides her beet-red face, head bent with her hair cascading the sides of her profile preventing Rosé from getting a glimpse.

“God, I can’t believe I’m telling you this, b-but I…but I liked it! There! I said it! and—” Jennie peeks from the strands of her hair. “Rosie! Stop looking at me like that!” She wails and gesticulates wildly at Rosé’s mischievous grin.

“Like what?” Rosé switches up a faux expression.

“Like…like…” Jennie snaps her fingers repeatedly to no avail. “Ugh!”

It’s refreshing to have Jennie panicked and jittery. Under usual circumstances, Jennie is poised and self-confident, although her nerves can affect her sometimes, she still emanates a strong presence. Intimidating even. So the wary and anxious girl next to Rosé is almost a stranger to her.

“Fine, I’m stopping. Sooo?”

“Sooo.” Jennie sniffs, wincing at her clogged nose. “She passed out quickly after and didn’t seem to remember anything the next day. I was thankful, I guess, because I wanted to forget about it.”

“Why?”

“Because best friends don’t kiss each other, Chaeng. And yet, I could not for the life of me stop thinking about—ugh. I thought I could really leave it all behind. Then Blackpink House happened. We were in one room! Then the Dua concert, which I begged Chahee to come. Everything is so complicated. This is why I didn’t plan on telling her about that kiss, because I get so agitated about it.”

Rosé can undesrtand why. Jennie is a rational person and would never act upon impulse. Rather, she’s the type to analyze anything to the smallest of details, weighing in the pros and cons. This must be the reason she has kept this incident to herself, thinking that mentioning this would do more harm than good. In the end, her bottling up only caused her a lot of trouble within herself.

“What’s even more ed up is that I realized what I was “feeling” when she dropped that freaking bombshell. Do you know how many times I had to pretend to pee because I didn’t get why I was so mad?”

“I remember.” Rosé recalls at the memory. She says, “But he’s a decent guy.”

“Oh, please.” Jennie gives her an eyeroll. “She can do so much better.”

Like you?

Rosé smirks teasingly. “Man, you’re a whole other level when jealous.”

“Oh God, shut up.”

The waterworks have ceased and Jennie has recovered from all the whimpering now, pursing her lips in a shy pout. Rosé is relieved at the outcome of their talk. She has every right to be proud of herself at how she has handled Jennie’s situation. In the distant future, she could imagine herself earning some extra cash from writing a book or a detailed step-by-step manual on how to handle a jealous Jennie with care.

It would be a hit.

“You are at it though. And you were kinda an ,” Rosé says honestly, as much as Jennie’s actions were understandable, Rosé would never condone such behavior from her. Being plain rude is inexcusable.

Jennie snorts. “Just kinda?”

“Would you ever confess to her?” Rosé curiously blurts without having to properly assess the question.

Jennie is pensive, her eyes downcast. “There’s too much at stake.” Her gaze stray from Rosé.

It was a simple yes or no question, and the fact that she hasn’t answered either of the given options tells Rosé she had considered it at some point. She doesn’t want to impose more on the touchy subject since Jennie could retreat to the safety of her shell which had taken her several months to come out of.

“Management would be crazy to fire you guys.” Rosé tries to guarantee her. “Besides, Jisoo-unnie and I will help you cover it up anyway. It’s no biggie.”

“You’re waaay too optimistic, you know that?” Jennie forms an endearing smile.

“Speaking of Jisoo-unnie, you gonna tell her too?”

“Soon. Not like right away, but soon. Just, telling one person feels overwhelming already.”

“Okay, no pressure. But, what if Lisa could feel the same way? Let’s say they do break-up.”

Jennie doesn’t answer, like she’s afraid of what that possibility could entail.

“Jongin is an amazing guy. I want to give him a fair shot.”

“So he’s not Kai to you anymore?”

Jennie’s features warp into discomfort. “My own dog pops up into my head. That aside, he’s actually fun to talk to. And the Lisa thing is unprofessional, and I am not risking our friendship over that so I’m going to get rid of my feelings once and for all,” Jennie says resolutely, though Rosé is only partially convinced.

But she’s a good friend and wants Jennie to sort her emotions by herself, so she says:

“If that’s what you want, then okay.”

***

Soon, Rosé learns, meant being coerced ten hours later by Jisoo after Rosé and Jennie had taken suspiciously long in Jennie’s bedroom that night. Jennie didn’t even have to tell Rosé about it. She just came home one afternoon to Jisoo dancing and blasting one of Katy Perry’s famous singles.

“I kissed a girl and I liked it!”

“Unnie!” Jennie shrinks on the living room couch, covering her ears in mortification.

“You finally told her, huh.” Rosé sends Jennie a pitiful look.

Jisoo prances around them, speakers in her possession as she angles it to Jennie. “It’s what you get for playing tonsil hockey behind our backs!”

“Unnie!”

“Aww, come on, Jendeukie.” Jisoo places the speakers onto the coffee table, pulls Jennie up to her feet and loops an arm around Jennie’s sagging shoulders. “It’s no big deal, Lisa is a snack! You even got to,” she inches herself closer to Jennie’s ear. “Taste her cherry chapstick.”

Jennie pushes Jisoo’s laughing face away from hers, looking at Rosé helplessly. “I’m never going to live this down, am I?”

Rosé gives her a consoling pat on the head. “Sorry, mate.”

Jisoo’s merciless taunting dies once they acknowledge their hunger. Lisa is spending the night at her parents’ condo since her mom is in town so it will only be the three of them for dinner. Jennie offers them a meal by cooking some kimchi fried rice (her peace offering to Jisoo) while Jisoo orders some Italian take-out using Jennie’s phone (her peace offering to Jennie, after she accidentally dropped her phone whilst playing and fake-grinding to Lisa’s favorite Kehlani song; “Karma’s a , huh, unnie?”).

Jennie finishes up cooking before the take-out is delivered and they eat straight from the pan to save up on the dishwashing. Then, Jennie’s iPhone vibrates on the dining table, indicating their order has arrived and is at the front desk ready to be picked up.

“Hey, Chaeng, give me your share of the bill,” Jennie says, rising from her seat.

“Unnie’s taking care of it.”

Jisoo reluctantly hands over cash to Jennie, who receives it with much skepticism. “Am I missing something?”

“Unnie made this be—”

“Say ah, garbage Chaeng!”

Jisoo slams her foot hard onto Rosé’s, causing her to open wide like a trashcan, in which Jisoo takes the opportunity to feed her a spoonful of kimchi fried rice. Jennie regards their interaction shadily, her brows furrowing at the two of them but she doesn’t probe any further and heads out to get their pizza.

When the main door clicks at Jennie’s exit, Jisoo warns Rosé. “If you tell her about our bet, we’re both dead.”

Okay.

She makes a compelling argument.

***

You

hey i’m out with ally

want anything?

1:13 pm

Jisoo-unnie

yah chaeyoung wtf

did you use the bathroom before you left

1:20 pm

I CANT BREATHE

1:22 pm

You

I AM allowed to use it so yes I did

that Mexican food just didn’t sit well with me

1:24 pm

Jisoo-unnie

i know you did this on purpose

as payback

for all the times you’ve cleaned up after me

1:32 pm

You

as good as that sounds

I wouldn’t purposely put my on the line for that

1:40 pm

my is on fire

I feel like a freaking charmander right now

you have no idea

1:42 pm

Jisoo-unnie

uh okay gross

but

why are the shampoo bottles on the floor?

1:45 pm

You

ran like crazy

Almost didn’t make it

1:49 pm

Jisoo-unnie

Jesus Christ chaeng

1:50 pm

You

Lord’s name in vain unnie!

Make sure its all sparkly when I get back

mwah love u

1:56 pm

Jisoo-unnie

I hate you

1:58 pm

***

“What if instead of Blackpink, we were YG as in Yellowgreen?”

Rosé literally just woke up and that’s the first thing she’s greeted with today. She grunts, cheeks still pressed onto her pillow. She cracks her eyes open at the tall figure across her. “Please don’t tell me you came in here just to tell me that.”

Lisa’s face turns somber, though her smile is present. She stalls for a moment, padding to the vanity, her pointing finger trailing over Rosé’s belongings on her dresser, picking up a hairbrush. It’s as if she’s mulling over what she’s about to say, distracting herself with the little things she could set her hands on. Her back is turned and she says, “Chan and I called it quits.”

The covers fly off Rosé’s body. “You did not!”

Lisa scuttles out of the room before Rosé could grill her on the details. She sits perfectly still on her bed, hanging in an O-shape. She bats her eyes once, then twice, then reaches for her phone to demand to be enlightened.

You

HEY

8:12 am

Lalisa

Omw for a shoot

8:14 am

oops uh

I

caaa ant

rea ch

yoo u

bad se er vice

8:16 am

You

LISA U NUTCRACK WE ARE TXTING

YOU CANT RUN AWAY FROM ME

8:19 am

Lisa does explain to them sometime later, gathering them in her room so as not to repeat the same story. She also admits to Rosé that she bolted out her room like that because she didn’t realize the severity of it until it slipped out of . She needed some headspace, to clear her mind out of certain things. Things she hasn’t bothered to disclose, much to Rosé’s disappointment but she wouldn’t want to infringe on personal matters.

“He’s really great and all but, there was just something missing and I can’t string him along like that.”

Her explanation resounds in Rosé’s mind, like a broken record stuck on rewind. She was supposed to have a quick nap, unfortunately, she’s been pondering if the “something missing” from what Lisa said could actually mean someone missing. It’s thought-provoking, for Rosé, because the two had gotten along very well and were so into each other that they’ve developed this sort of attachment with one another.

Jennie’s features didn’t betray any hint of relief, only listening and nodding to Lisa’s story so maybe she was dead serious about extinguishing the feelings she’s had for the younger girl.

Rosé’s brain is in a whirlwind of thoughts and questions as she absently stares at the ceiling, her drowsiness forgotten.

She hears a meowing noise, bringing her back to the present and bringing her to get up from her bed. She hears it again, however, she resists meowing in response. She makes sure to track it down unlike the last time, when Rosé thought she had been meowing to Leo but it only so happened to be her and Lisa meowing back and forth from different parts of the dorm.

Her ears trace the source of the noise and is led to Lisa’s bedroom, her door ajar (Rosé has the dorm to herself today though anyone could be back at any time). A tabby cat is languidly flipped on his back on the floor, paws waving around the air, meowing for attention.

“So Leo, any news on your human? Hmm?” Rosé lays near him, scratching his belly.

Leo meows at her.

“Eh, you know nothing you fat cat.”

Leo hisses at her, bearing its pearly white fangs then scampers out of Lisa’s room.

“No, I’m kidding come back and love me!”

***

Jennie’s solo endeavors have commenced and the feed back she has been getting is incredible. Her whole year’s worth of hard work is finally paying off as Solo tops the charts as fast as it’s released. And being the ever so supportive members that they are, Rosé and the girls awake before dawn to make a pitstop before Jennie is scheduled to perform on the Ingkigayo stage.

The camera men and the other staff have gone out the hallway, earning the girls a brief moment of privacy.

“Damn, girl.” Rosé whistles at Jennie’s outfit.

Lisa also hollers, “Unnie, you’re looking so hot!”

“Yeah, so hot.” Jisoo repeats Lisa’s compliment with a suggestive emphasis.

Jennie darts Jisoo a withering look, but it falters upon Lisa’s next words.

“And he’s here isn’t he?”

EXO is doing their own promotions as well, making it entirely possible for Jennie and Kai to cross paths backstage. But it seems like Jennie has forgotten about this tidbit, forgetting that she is dating someone a few rooms away. Her lips twitch slightly but she pulls them together into a smile.

“Yeah, he is.”

Despite her saying she’s giving it a try, Rosé could read through Jennie’s forced reactions.

***

Rosé eats in the dark.

She’s imagining to be Batman watching over Gotham City but in reality, she’s just watching over their unlit kitchen.

ceases in midchew when there’s the distinctive noise of a bedroom door opening. Rosé peers from the kitchen threshold and spies Lisa, hair unkept and pajama ruffled, walking over to Jennie’s door. She has a knack for breaking into other members’ rooms (Rosé almost punched the daylights out of her after waking up to her face too close to her one morning) and Rosé thinks that Lisa cuddling Jennie wouldn’t be helping Jennie’s case but the door swings open, like Jennie has anticipated this at the very minute.

None of the lights have been flipped on, blanketing the dorm in total darkness, save for the gleaming moonlight that has penetrated through the living room window. So Rosé inspects her bandmate’s late night visit closely, sleepy eyes adjusting to the minimal light and her body teetering sideways from the kitchen and into the short hallway that leads to Lisa’s and Jennie’s respective bedrooms.

Jennie is stepping halfway out of the doorway from Rosé’s perspective and what she could distinguish from their hushed voices is a blend of Korean and Thai.

Great.

It’s a blow to Rosé since she already has trouble speaking and understanding Korean often times, but here they are conversing in another language Rosé has yet to master. It’s like they’re doing it on purpose, a secret conversation for their secret rendezvous at three in the morning, especially considering Jisoo’s Thai is limited to mai mee tang ka.

They’re talking and laughing quietly, simultaneously shifting between the two. Rosé is desperate to have anyone interpret what they’re saying and real life subtitles could come in handy. She’s aware that early morning conversations are meant for the times when is about to get deep. When a person gets uncharacteristically candid, pours their heart out about life in general, hopes and dreams, and what the future could have in store. It’s the best kind of conversation, but as Rosé has experienced firsthand, it’s not the kind Lisa makes in the wee hours of the morning.

Not to her at least.

She makes random, shallow, small talks. Heck, it doesn’t even reach the surface, barely scraping the ground (“When I become a ghost I’m gonna sing ‘Blackpink in your aree-yaa!’ down the halls of YG.”). The kind that could’ve waited hours later.

Jennie is entertaining Lisa, unperturbed at the lateness of the time, so maybe there’s more content to their conversation than Rosé believes there is.

Or maybe there’s no content at all.

Damn it, she should taken Lisa seriously during their Thai lessons.

***

Lisa is dozing off peacefully on the couch with Leo and Luca snuggling above her head like two birds contentedly on top of a nest. Rosé hovers over her, studying the contours of Lisa’s smooth porcelain face. So calm, so innocent, so seemingly innocent.

It’s not that Lisa has been acting as weirdly as she did in the past, before she revealed what happened in Thailand. Now that there’s an addition to the incident, the-Lisa-and-Jennie-kissed-but-Lisa-doesn’t-remember incident, Rosé wonders if there is more to Lisa than what she’s let on. Not to mention, that recent late-night visit to Jennie’s room just to talk. It’s questionable. Lisa is an open book but what if there hidden pages to the book that Rosé hasn’t discovered yet? Or pages that have been deliberately ripped off never to be read?

What are you hiding, Lisa?

Just what are you hiding.

“It’s been three hours and she hasn’t moved,” Jisoo comments.

“Lisa sleeps like a log.”

“A dead person is more I like it.”

Rosé frowns at Jisoo’s choice of words. She kicks Lisa lightly on the hip, light enough not to wake her.

Just to be sure, she thinks.

Lisa stirs at the contact, her two cats now settling themselves on her face with Luca’s tail dangerously close to Lisa’s half-opened mouth. Rosé wouldn’t be astounded if the maknae would be hacking hairballs the moment she wakes up.

Rosé huffs then frowns at Jisoo once more. “I’m really not comfortable with that comparison.”

***

Rosé arrives at the dorm faced with overturned chairs and other furniture haphazardly disarranged, and her first thought is:

Holy crap someone broke in.

A shrill scream comes from the kitchen, intensifying Rosé’s fear, accompanied by the cacophony of pots and pans clanking and dropping (or thrown? Rosé isn’t sure) against the floor. So she assumes that the intruder might be there and she races to the kitchen brandishing the first object she found (their hammer lightstick would have to do), only to be disappointed at the “crime scene” displayed before her.

Rosé lowers the lightstick and eases up. “The hell was that all about? And why are you guys on top of the chair?”

“Because we live here, Chaeng, we can stand wherever we want thank you very much,” Jennie says. She and Lisa are standing on a chair, knees bent, backs hunched, arms wrapped around each other for balance and support. And from the way their eyes are frantically searching for something in the room, Rosé could assess their situation.

“There’s a spider isn’t there.”

“Yes…” They both mutter at the same time.

“It’s two against one.”

“Yeah but ’s got eight legs and me and Jennie only have four arms combined so it’s not a fair fight,” Lisa counters, drawing Jennie nearer to her. Almost like she’s cradling the most fragile thing in the world. It’s a sight to behold and Rosé wants to make a comment on how there are other available chairs yet they chose to squeeze in on the tiny space (Lisa’s big feet occupies more than half of it) and share one together.

The temptation to capture this moment for future blackmailing purposes is substantial.

It’s so tempting.

So tempting.

Jennie is looking anywhere but Rosé. Probably knows how she’s clinging on to Lisa creates more questions. Probably knows how it only invalidates her quest to “get rid of my feelings once and for all”. Probably knows about the teasing remark that’s bubbling at the tip of Rosé’s tongue.

“Chaeyoung, behind you!” Lisa yells in a high-pitched voice and Jennie’s own yell just overlaps the loudness of it.

Rosé also yells and everyone is in a fit of chaotic yelling, none of them too brave to actually do something about the eight-legged creepy crawly with its gross stick-thin legs freely moving around the wall of the kitchen, then settles on the floor like it pays rent to be crawling like it owns the place and Rosé wishes she could magically acquire the ability to fly in some conveniently-timed miracle.

She’s in the middle of a tapdancing motion with her feet, scared to have the spider suddenly climb up to her legs and she’s lost the strength to leap onto a nearby chair as her legs have morphed into jello. The spider hasn’t moved in seconds but they’re still screaming a jumble of “OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD!”, “SACRIFICE THE CAT!” and, “NO, LEO GET AWAY FROM THERE!”

Leo, who manages to crawl its way up to the cupboards, pushes a bag of catfood from the counter, smashing onto the spider with a victorious splat!

“Leo!” Lisa chases after him as he speeds onto another room, startled by Jennie’s happy shrieking.

Jennie jumps from the chair, trying to regain the composure she’s thrown out the window for a while and refuses to look at Rosé who is breathing crazily beside her.

“Really held on to your life there.”

“ off,” Jennie grumbles, the threat in her tone loses its edge as a tinge of pink graces her cheeks.

***

Lisa’s room is a warzone.

As if, someone had a personal grudge against her which pushed them to trash her room out of rage.

The only time it’s tidied up (when everything is basically shoved into her closet, masking the illusion) is when camera crews come over for filming during a segment of a show. Other than that, it’s a freaking dumpsite, clothes, bags and whatnot strewn everywhere. Rosé would rather willingly share her toothbrush with Jisoo than go through the monstrosity of Lisa’s bedroom. Sadly, if she wanted her baggy band shirt back, she’ll have to hunt for it.

Rosé heaves a sigh.

Lisa, you slob!

She tiptoes around Lisa’s things on the floor and when she nears the closet, she trips on a abandoned hoodie, her body plummeting inside Lisa’s closet.

Goddamnit.

As she struggles to unhook her foot from the clothing, a pair of voices are coming towards the room and Rosé takes shelter inside Lisa’s closet for the meantime so she wouldn’t be caught stealing her band shirt back (which is weird because it’s hers in the first place).

“Lisa, what the dump is this?”

It’s Jennie.

“I was cleaning when you called me for ice cream.”

“Hard to believe that.”

“Anywho, what were you saying about your boo?”

Oh damn, they’re talking about Jennie’s lovelife?

Rosé pokes her head to the opening of the closet and she sees Jennie and Lisa on the bed with a view of Jennie’s back and Lisa sitting across her. The mountain of clothes in front of the closet has made it the perfect hiding spot for Rosé, like an expert sniper on a mission.

“It’s not that I don’t like him,” Jennie begins. “It’s that…I liked someone else for a while..?”

“Oh.”

“Is it bad?”

“No, it’s not like you and Kai are officially together. You guys are still on the getting to know each other stage as you said. But what about this other person?”

“I’ve been dropping subtle hints.”

“Really? Maybe you should tell that person straight up. Give it a try.”

Rosé feels guilty, knows where her limits lie and this is an indirect invasion of privacy (indirect because none of this wouldn’t have happened if Lisa learned to arrange her clothes once in a while, like a decent person should, and Rosé’s not too thrilled about being stuck in her closet either). But damn, her eyes don’t feel guilty the least bit, drawn to her bandmates as she ogles at them from Lisa’s biohazard of a closet.

Is Jennie really about to tell her?

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jennie squares her shoulders and Rosé could sense she’s gathering every inch of confidence she has, the same confidence she brings when she’s performing on stage. She says, “I like you.”

Rosé analyzes Lisa’s reaction, digging in to her nails at the suspense of her prolonged response. Lisa’s face lifts up, her eyes glinting under the illumination of her bedroom lighting and her signature toothy grin making an appearance as well. Rosé holds in her breath as Lisa replies:

“See! That wasn’t so hard! If that flies over their head then they’re too dumb for you.”

Rosé facepalms herself.

She thought Jennie was practicing!

Are you kidding me, Lisa?

“I-I actually—”

Jennie’s ringtone interrupts them but Jennie merely glances at her buzzing phone on Lisa’s bed.

“Gonna answer that?”

“It can wait,” Jennie says dismissively.

“You don’t wanna leave Kai hanging.”

“Uh, yeah.” Jennie runs her fingers through her hair. “Right.”

No, Jennie don’t go!

But she does.

Jennie leaves Lisa’s room without any second thoughts. Even if she’s gone and closed the door, Lisa is still concentrated on where she’s left, her body remaining motionless. It takes another few beats for her to plop the rest of her body flat on her bed, grab her pillow and bury her face in it, screaming something too incomprehensible for Rosé to perceive. She removes the pillow from her face and says:

“Why do I want to kiss you so bad…”

Then it dawns on Rosé.

Lisa is a fantastic liar.

edited.

happy birthday to our sweet rosie!