we’re rolling

chapter four

***

“This quality time is boring.”

“This isn’t a quality time, I came here to buy ramyeon.”

“Then why the hell did you invite me?”

“I specifically told you not to come because I’ll only be buying ramyeon but you said: “you’re not the boss of me, Chaeng, I can do whatever I want!” then followed me here.”

Rosé says pointedly through her mask (they’ve creeped out the dorm by themselves) and scavenges for the aisle bearing the easy-to-cook meals. All she wanted was some peace and quiet alone, which proved to be challenging to achieve when Jisoo is around. She needed time to herself to reflect on the tidbit she’s witnessed from her sleep-talking bandmate the other night.

So the stars have aligned, Rosé has put two and two together and the case has opened once again, but confronting Jennie upright would be sending herself unarmed into a battle with a pack of rabid wolves.

Because, here’s the deal about Jennie.

She’s a good person, albeit her seemingly y personality. It’s rather the other way around actually. She’s the softest and the warmest person Rosé has known and has a heart so big it couldn’t possibly be contained in her small cutesy frame. But like everyone else, Jennie isn’t perfect.

She has her flaws too.

And to name one is:

Her inability to express her feelings.

It’s something, Rosé observes, she’s hardwired herself to do, dodging inquiries instead of disclosing the reasons for her unexplained actions. She’s constructed a wall as a barrier around her vulnerabilities from others. That’s the thing with Jennie, she bottles up so much emotions that it only ends up overflowing, the bottle refusing to be screwed shut.

So her feelings become all over the place, spilling onto the floor, exposed, for everyone to spectate.

And Rosé doesn’t think Jennie could mop up the mess of emotions she’s been desperately concealing.

***

Jennie goes out.

A lot.

As in a non-work-related type of going out.

Sure she’s preoccupied with the preparations for her solo debut, shooting this and that, but Rosé’s called this one time out of concern (okay, so maybe she called because she desperately craved for a homecooked meal, something Jennie is exceptionally good at, and the only other person there was Lisa and like, Rosé wants to live, not have food poisoning) since Jennie was running late and when it went straight to voicemail, Rosé rang a back-up dancer and she was informed that their practice wrapped up hours ago.

Maybe she needed an outlet to blow off some steam.

Maybe she went on a drinking spree.

Maybe she was busy playing darts with Chanwoo’s head as the target.

Who knows.

“Chaeyoung-ah! Quit biting your nails like you aren’t fed enough,” Jisoo admonishes.

Rosé grimaces at her chipped fingernails. She unknowingly does it when she’s overthinking.

***

Emotionally speaking, Jennie and Lisa are polar opposites.

For Rosé, decoding Jennie’s emotions is an intricate task and is arguably comparable to a Rubik’s Cube; complex, brain-twisting and time consuming. It won’t be long until Rosé solves the “unsolvable” now that she has a clue as to why every entrance Jennie makes is like there’s a stormy cloud raining on her and the Imperial March is playing in the background (Jisoo says it could be her time of the month. Rosé holds back in telling her about the sleep talking incident). Still, she’s been a tough cookie to crack.

Meanwhile, Lisa has a bubbly personality with a sunny disposition. If she’s happy, she is happy. If she’s sad, she is sad. If she’s angry, she is angry (which is a rarity). There’s no decoding, no Rubik’s Cube solving, no cookie cracking, no bull. A total open book, unlike her counterpart in this department.

So yeah, there’s a stark difference between Jennie and Lisa, further provided by how they’re skipping pebbles on the lake nearby the location of their agenda for today.

“Ah, what a beautiful day.” Lisa throws her pebble.

Jennie follows suit. “Take that you ing lake.”

A very stark contrast.

***

Car rides make Jisoo restless.

So restless that Rosé gains a headache just by sitting behind her.

Jisoo fusses in her seat of the van, does whatever she can to alleviate her restiveness. After fifteen minutes or so of stretching her arms, moving her legs, singing to random tunes and poking Jennie’s irresistible cheeks (they’re like, stress balls to her she’d said), Jisoo proposed for them to play a game. It’s a long and boring car ride from the countryside back to Seoul resulting to everyone participating.

They go through a series of suggestions ranging from spin the bottle (Jisoo’s idea) to truth or dare (Lisa’s idea: “First dare has to be: jump out of the car!”), ultimately choosing the most cliché (and safest) car-ride game ever that doesn’t induce nausea or involves one of them getting seriously injured or killed (“Really, Lisa, what were you thinking?”).

“I spy something green,” Rosé says.

“Grass?” Jisoo attempts to guess.

“Nope,” Rosé says, her focus trained on Jennie who is situated diagonally across her and is in front of Lisa. She hasn’t partaken in the game ever since Lisa dropped out from it. The younger girl hasn’t abandoned her phone upon receiving a text from Chanwoo.

“A bush?”

“Nope.”

Jennie wears a neutral expression, per usual, her elbow is propped against the car door and her chin is resting on her palm. She gapes out through the window, fairly pleased (or distracted?) at the passing scenery. When Lisa’s giggling filters within the van (Chanwoo must be that funny to keep her laughing), Jennie proceeds to cross her arms over her chest, clenches her jaw and digs her teeth deep into her bottom lip.

“A tree?”

“Nope.”

“Jennie.”

Jennie whirls to Jisoo, face red and her temper rising. “What the hell, I’m not ing green!”

“No—"

“Do I look like Shrek to you?”

“—your lip is bleeding.” Jisoo narrows her eyes at Jennie’s sudden defensiveness.

Jennie’s face falls. Her tongue darts out, moistening her dry, cracked lips. As Jisoo said, there’s blood on a portion of her lower lip. She quietly mumbles an apology then rummages around her stuff in her bag for her Vaseline.

“What’s that flower again that sounds like dancing lion?” Lisa asks, too bemused in her texting, clueless of Jennie’s incessant lip biting.

“Dandelion?” Rosé delivers.

“That! He’s so funny.” Lisa chuckles dreamily and Rosé detects how Jennie does a sharp intake of her breath, clenching the small tub of Vaseline in her fist.

***

Alarm clocks aren’t Rosé’s thing. She doesn’t oversleep as much as the other members, all thanks to her personal wake-up call in the form of a distressed whale mating call coming from her own famished belly. The sensation in her stomach immediately sends her to roll out of bed in the search for breakfast.

“Where’s Jisoo-unnie?” Rosé notices there’s an absence of food on the table and in the fridge.

“Took Dalgom for a walk.” Lisa pipes from her position on the living room couch.

“Jennie-unnie?”

“Went home to Gangnam.”

“And there’s no food?”

“Hmm,” Lisa springs from the couch then heads to the kitchen where Rosé is at. She surveys the cupboards and says, “Nada.”

“Goddamn, we’ll just starve then.”

“Hey, I can make us breakfast.”

Both stare at each other in prolonged silence for a few seconds, and telepathically, they laugh together because the day where they cook up a decent breakfast which doesn’t involve burnt toast and overcooked noodles will be the day the world ends.

“Yeah, we’ll just starve then,” Lisa says.

Rosé scrunches up her nose. “Me and starve are incompatible so I’m gonna head out.”

“I’m coming!”

They rush to change from their pajamas into more presentable outfits and leave their dorm. The two dine at this restaurant, settling themselves in the farthest corner of the room for privacy. While Lisa goes over her choices, a notification on Rosé’s phone pops up.

Jennie-unnie

Hubby wru

Dad is out and mom has a meeting

Don’t wanna be stuck here

9:35 am

You

At this resto, I’ll send u the address

9:49 am

“Who was it?” Lisa asks after the waiter finishes jotting down their orders.

“Jennie-unnie.”

“Nice timing! Chan is a block away so I told him to come, and he says our meal is on him!”

Oh no.

What Rosé ends up saying is: “Yay, free food.”

When Jennie arrives, she scans the restaurant cautiously, not drawing attention to herself. She’s donned a pair of Chanel shades and an Adidas cap as her disguise. Rosé flails her arms, grabbing her attention and Jennie waltzes towards the trio. At the sight of Chanwoo, who is enthralled in an animated conversation side by side with Lisa, Jennie’s steps come to a halt. Rosé could decipher through her hesitance that she’s pondering to flee the scene before the couple sees her.

Rosé swiftly pulls her down onto the vacant seat next to her.

“Unnie!” Lisa beams at Jennie and Chanwoo extends a megawatt smile at her too.

“Order anything you want.” Chanwoo gestures at the menu before Jennie. “It’s my treat.”

“Cool. Thanks,” Jennie says timidly.

Their lunch goes without a hitch, Jennie even politely engaging in their chit chat once in a while (forcefully, Rosé thinks). Chanwoo also does gentlemanly things, like serving Lisa a portion of each dish and handing her refills of her drink. Jennie also does some things, like diverting herself to Rosé at Lisa’s newly found habit of leaning on Chanwoo, and jabbing her fork at her Terriyaki chicken aggressively (“Woah, unnie, that’s dead, no need for the stabbing,” Rosé tells her).

“How about some dessert?” Rosé suggests to Jennie, dabbing her napkin around and chin.

“No, I’m good.”

“Not even up for a jelly?”

Jennie an eyebrow at Rosé skeptically. “What?”

“They have this jelly dessert on the menu.”

“No,” Jennie answers with a finality in her tone.

Chanwoo charmingly tells them of his fondness with magic, and Rosé can really understand why her best friend has become so smitten. Lisa claps at the idea of a magic trick, which he demonstrates through a simple card trick. He proudly states he can make things disappear as well.

“How about making yourself disappear.”

Jennie murmurs to herself but Rosé is able to discern it.

***

Rosé is at a record store, browsing the collection of vinyls laid out on a shelf when her phone pings. She swipes it open, only to be met with a spam message, also sees that she has several unread messages from her bandmates, mom and sister.

Unknown Number

Good Day! Would you like to avail for a loan? Register now at…

Jisoo-unnie

What song were you playing that went tananan nananana?

Lalisa

yoyoyo u should put a lock on your toothbrush jussayin

Mom

why does joohwang look dead

Jennie-unnie

chahee…this is killing me

Alice

if I have an avocado themed party u still have to come

A text intended for Chahee?

Rosé hovers over to Jennie’s message.

You

???

4:15 pm

Jennie-unnie

oh my bad

4:21 pm

You

Okay. Whats killing u tho?

4:24 pm

Jennie-unnie

just rehearsals. i’ll live :)

4:28 pm

btw dont u own a purple toothbrush

think unnie used it

4:30 pm

Damnit, Jisoo-unnie!

Then Rosé remembers.

Jennie doesn’t have rehearsals today.

***

Rosé goes home for the weekend.

Joohwang is in fact, and thankfully, not dead.

The Park household is doing their usual routine during Rosé’s visits. She gets to kick back and relax, as her parents set the table and her older sister prepares for dinner. Her dad goes to the living room afterwards to watch the evening news, with her mother beside him but tinkering on her phone.

Rosé climbs up the kitchen island, swings her lengthy legs back and forth, and oversees Alice slicing avocados on the chopping board. “No avocados for me please!” She reminds her sister, who somehow forgets every single time that there’s a family member with an enormous dislike for the fruit.

“Oh, right,” Alice says like it’s the first time she’s hearing this.

“You’ve known me for twenty-one years.”

“Hard to grasp your disappointing taste buds.”

Rosé sticks her tongue out to reiterate. “Then gwasp it!”

Alice quickly places a small sliced piece of avocado onto Rosé’s exposed tongue and she spits it out the moment she recognizes the taste and the texture. Rosé and Alice cause a ruckus in the kitchen, prompting their mother to intervene.

“Girls!” Their mother darts a dirty look at the both of them, hands on her hips like she’s scolding a bunch of preschoolers instead of twenty-something fully grown adults.

“She started it!” Rosé cries, still gagging at the slimy taste of the avocado.

“Alice, no more wasting food.”

“And don’t you dare put any in my plate.” Rosé threatens.

Alice replies, “Avocadon’t tell me what to do.”

Sometimes Rosé wonders why she goes home.

***

Jisoo-unnie

chipmunk

11:53 pm

You

Ya

11:54 pm

Jisoo-unnie

Jennie snuck out

11:54 pm

You

Really?

11:55 pm

Jisoo-unnie

Yes. Don’t know where to but I heard the main door

11:57 pm

thought it was lisa but i hear this hybrid screeching wailing

so nope shes home

11:58 pm

So it must have been jennie

unless leo’s learned to open doors now

11:59 pm

You

Check her room

12:01 am

Jisoo-unnie

She’s gone

12:06 am

You

Where could she be?

12:08 am

***

There’s an appropriate timing for everything.

And if Jennie’s grumbling and leaving the dorm for God knows what aren’t indications for the appropriate timing, then Rosé isn’t sure what is.

Jennie hasn’t consciously vocalized anything else (sleep talking doesn’t exactly count as legitimate evidence) but her actions spoke volumes. And if it were tuned up to the highest setting, Rosé would severely damage her eardrums and be deaf by now.

She’s been approaching the situation as if she were a spectator at the zoo, eyeing the lion enclosure at a safe distance. That’s how it’s always been when dealing with Jennie. However, she now wants to get this whole ordeal over with before Jennie resolves to doing something she might just regret in the future.

So Rosé’s hatched a plan to confront her in private.

Lisa is off…somewhere (girl can’t stay still for more than a second) taking photographs of whatever her lenses could land on, usually the most ordinary subjects like a dimly lit hallway or an empty soda can on the floor. Rosé, Jisoo and Jennie have stayed behind, lounging in the dressing room, munching on some snacks.

“I hate how some people can be annoying,” Jisoo says, “Makes me want to block them in real life.”

“That’s called a restraining order,” Rosé corrects her.

“Or murder.” Jennie says coolly.

Rosé and Jisoo trade mortified looks.

How the hell do you talk to Jennie about feelings?

The answer is: you wing it, pray to God Jennie doesn’t explode on you, simply hope for the best and survive it.

“Can I talk to you?” Rosé corners Jennie in the restroom.

“Yeah, shoot.” Jennie wipes her hands on the sides of her jeans after putting them under the dryer.

“Sometimes, in life, you feel things. And sometimes, you feel like you shouldn’t be feeling those things. Ya feel me?” Goddamnit, Rosé should have rehearsed this. To be fair, she has never considered making it this far either, expecting Jennie to bring her walls up and make up an excuse.

”I’m feeling very confused right now.”

“God, how do I say this.” Rosé scratches the back of her neck sheepishly.

“Just spit it out,” Jennie demands, tapping her foot impatiently so Rosé goes ahead with it.

“Do you like Lisa?”

The tapping stops.

“What?”

“Like, having feelings kind of like? Like like? ‘Cause if you do, it really isn’t a problem.”

Jennie scoffs offensively, couldn’t quite believe Rosé’s questioned such a thing. Her mood dwindles further and Rosé feels like she’s detonating a ticking time bomb, only five seconds left until it blasts her to pieces.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“Uh, it’s—it’s not.” Rosé squirms underneath Jennie’s icy glare.

“What are you trying to say here?”

“It’s just that, that you’ve been on edge about Chan—”

“Rosie, stop.”

“—and I couldn’t think of any other reason—

“Rosie.”

“So I thought, maybe, maybe you like Li—”

“I’m seeing Kai!”

“Your dog..?” Rosé asks innocently. What does her dog have to do with this?

“No!” Jennie raises her voice, vexed. The sound rings piercingly throughout the room. She breathes in for a second, then winds down, her posture relaxing. “I’m seeing Kai from EXO.”

***

Jennie informs Lisa and Jisoo shortly, the oldest member not batting an eye at the news (because who doesn’t want to date Jennie?), but still congratulates her and reminds her to be vigilant whenever they’re in public.

Lisa engulfs Jennie in a bearhug.

“That makes two of us, unnie!”

Lisa sounds happier about it than Jennie does.

***

“Did you enjoy it? Did anyone see you? You guys were careful right?” Jisoo bombards Lisa with questions after her first official date. The Thai doesn’t even get the chance to remove her shoes.

“Slow down, am I in an interview or something?”

“Spill!”

“Okay, gosh, so…”

Rosé leaves briefly to retrieve some snacks from the kitchen as Lisa summarizes her night in the living room loud enough for Rosé to take part in the conversation. Her story is filled with girlish giggling and squealing, and Rosé glances at Jennie’s room where she says she’ll be in meditating by herself, wondering if she’s listening in. When Rosé returns, a bag of chips and salsa in her arms, Lisa wraps up her story, a dopey smile stretched on her lips before revealing the juiciest detail of all.

“He kissed me!”

“Oh my gosh!” Rosé covers .

“With tongue?” Jisoo prods.

“!”

The three girls snap their heads to Jennie’s bedroom. Rosé could sense Lisa’s eagerness from the worrying knit of her eyebrows to check on their unnie but Rosé beats her to it and signals Jisoo telepathically: keep her here.

“I got this.” Rosé stands from the floor and walks over to Jennie’s room. “Wifey?” She calls out as she enters.

She discovers Jennie hopping on one foot towards her bed, pawing the other one in her hand. There are blocks of Legos loitering all over her floor and in the middle is a semi-completed Lego structure of the Eiffel Tower.

“Stepped on a Lego.” Jennie explains, her facial features twisting in pain. “It hurts.”

“Let’s have a look.”

Rosé crouches down and examines the bottom of Jennie’s bruised foot and sure enough, there are three tiny circular marks dented below her toes. Jennie whimpers at the touch. As Rosé massages it to soothe the pain, Jennie sniffs like she’s blocking out an uncontrollable cold. The second time she does it, Rosé gazes upwards at her and she finds tears flowing out of the corners of Jennie’s eyes.

“Sorry.” Jennie laughs humorlessly. “Just hurts.”

She uses the sleeves of her sweater to violently swipe the tears away as though she’s punching them permanently out of her swelling eyes. Her resistance becomes futile when the tears only increase in numbers, sliding down her puffy cheeks. Frustration builds up in Jennie’s reddening face and before she could do any more damage, with the material of her sweater constantly brushing against her skin, Rosé perches herself next to Jennie and encircles her arms around her.

“It ing hurts…” Jennie breathes shakily, mouth trembling and collapsing into Rosé’s embrace.

“I know…” Rosé locks her into a tighter hold.

Jennie releases what must have been weeks of pent up emotions in every soft cry she is letting out. Rosé has never seen her so utterly broken and being there with her at the moment just kills her, and she’s kind of on the verge of crying too.

“There’s something you should know.” Jennie rasps.

“What’s that?”

“Lisa and I kissed in Thailand.”

edited.

welp, guess we're not finished with what happened in thailand

next chapter should be the last update but im adding one more because u guys are awesome. for those who have noticed, yes i did get a lot of ideas from incorrect quotes and memes lol but my main inspiration for this fic is a camren fanfic i've read a little while ago