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chapter three

***

The atmosphere feels like it’s déjà vu and Rosé is transported to a year prior. More or less, it’s a similar scenario. She and Lisa are enjoying a night without the unnies, watching Netflix, a bowl of popcorn in the middle, and the main difference from a year ago is that the laptop is on Rosé’s lap this time and they are currently in Lisa’s room instead of Jisoo’s (she habitually locks her door now after complaining that her sheets smelled like buttery popcorn).

They were laughing beforehand, both slapping each other whenever a particularly funny scene shows up. Lisa has been immersed in a giggle, bits of popcorn darting out of , unbothered that they have scattered all over her bed. Then she backpedals a little, lips flattening into a tight line as if something bothersome is pulling at her subconscious.

“Um, Rosie?”

“Hmm?”

“I wanna talk to you.”

Rosé has never heard of her voice so gentle (a foreign concept to Lisa; her voice might as well have a built-in air horn). There’s this urgency in the manner the Thai says it, so Rosé pauses the movie, transfers the laptop from her lap and gives her undivided attention to Lisa. “What’s up?”

Lisa gulps thickly, her hands toying with the material of Rosé’s blanket. Anxiety is creeping onto her features and she lets out a long, dragging huff.

“Something happened in Thailand. With Jennie.”

Rosé’s mouth hangs open. The words echo in her head over and over again. This shouldn’t come off as astonishing to her, but she couldn’t restrain the surprised gasp that has escaped her (and it would be inappropriate to yell: “I knew it!”).

“Whaaat?”

“I’m not sure if you could tell. I have been acting really, really weird.”

“There were some signs.” Rosé confesses. “I did have a hunch.”

“How’d you know?” Lisa angles her head to one side, as if she hadn’t given them anything to doubt about.

“You told me: nothing happened in Thailand!” Rosé mocks Lisa’s sudden outburst, which causes the younger girl to blush at the memory. Rosé couldn’t ever erase that from her recollection. As embarrassing as it was, it’s embedded in her mind forever.

“Yeah it was eating me alive.”

“And what is it exactly?”

Lisa stirs to fold her legs underneath her with Rosé mimicking her movements and it’s beginning to look a lot like Lisa’s a shy middle schooler in the midst of sharing to her best friend a potentially earth-shattering secret.

“So Jennie’s mom was out with a friend and Jennie wasn’t feeling like going with them so she called me up. They had a two-bedroom suite and she said I could sleep in her room if I wanted to. Then I went to her hotel and when I got there, Jennie was drinking this expensive wine and she’s sorta tipsy but manageable. She said we each had a bottle to ourselves.” Lisa pauses for a moment to recollect her thoughts. She continues, “I can’t recall how many glasses I was in and you know I’m a weak drinker and I’m blabbering and blabbering so I…so I-I can’t say it!” Lisa shuts her eyes.

Rosé scowls. She’s been wanting, waiting for an explanation for months. Out of impatience, she throws her hands up dramatically and says, “For the love of God! If you kissed Jennie, it’s totally cool as long as you don’t make out in front of us—”

Lisa’s snaps her eyes open, growing horrified. “Oh my gosh, no! I told her I liked girls okay,” she says in a rush. “Not exclusively but yeah I said how I’m attracted to girls too and she’s asking me all these questions and I freaked and passed out—why do you look so disappointed?”

Rosé shakes off her dejected image and tries not to worry about losing 50,000 won to Jisoo. So it’s not the confession Jisoo might be searching for but it’s still a confession nonetheless. God, Rosé will have to endure being Cinderella for a month.

“Sorry, um, what made you decide to tell her?”

“The alcohol maybe? I don’t know. I’ve kept it to myself for a long time. I should have told you guys sooner but I got kinda scared. I’m sorry,” Lisa laments, looking away from Rosé.

“Don’t be.” Rosé reassures her with a sincere smile, taking Lisa’s clammy hands in hers. Lisa raises her gaze at Rosé’s comforting expression. “It’s your decision and we love you no matter what—”

“Aww, Rosie…”

“—no matter how weird you are.”

“Okay, you’ve ruined it.” Lisa pouts but the rest of her face says otherwise. A notable weight has been lifted from her shoulders, made apparent by the ear-splitting grin that is now spread to her cheeks. Rosé is glad Lisa is able to fully admit to her.

Then a surge of curiosity tugs at her.

“So who is it?”

“Who?”

“The girl you like, duh.”

“Oh. Well.” Lisa nibbles on her bottom lip before answering. “It was just a realization. I liked someone way before. You remember that ex-trainee who was a dancer too?”

Ahh, that makes sense.

There were many instances in the past during their trainee days when Lisa would overly applaud this dancer who was mediocre at best, if Rosé were to be honest. To her credit, the girl had her unique style and was pretty popular among male trainees (and female too, Rosé supposes).

“Here I thought you’d explain you were confessing to Jennie,” Rosé states truthfully. If Lisa were to like one girl, Rosé would bet another 50,000 won for that girl to be Jennie.

“Come on, Chaeng. Jennie’s my best friend,” Lisa says as-a-matter-of-factly. “I acted weird around her only because we never got to talk about it after that. We still don’t. So I didn’t bother bringing it up. It seems like she forgot about it.” She sighs gloomily. “And I don’t want to ruin anything, she’s my first friend here.”

Lisa’s face softens solemnly, staring off into the distance, probably reminiscing her first encounter with Jennie in their pubescent years before Jisoo and Rosé came into the picture. She says, “She’s like…an angel to me. Minus the wings.”

“So like a person?”

Lisa glowers sardonically. “You really do know how to make me sound lame.”

“That’s all on you, mate.” Rosé winks.

“And yet, you still love me.”

“Someone has to.”

“Hey! I’m sure someone out there does too!”

And Rosé has to agree that yeah, she’s sure someone else does too.

***

You

Unnie

The bird is in the cage

I repeat. The bird is in the cage

10:05 pm

Jisoo-unnie

wtf do you think you’re doing chaeng

we have 2 dogs n 2 cats our dorm is not a zoo

take that back

10:12 pm

You

ohmigosh it’s a code!

I meant lisa talked to me! She’ll tell you herself

10:15 pm

Jisoo-unnie

oh why didn’t you say so

10:16 pm

and your military language

10:21 pm

You

it does not :(

10:30 pm

Jisoo-unnie

right and joohwang is the smartest animal on earth

10:32 pm

You

Oi!! Don’t bring my child into this!!

10:33 pm

Dalgom’s not the brightest either…

10:35 pm

Jisoo-unnie

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY

10:35 pm

***

As soon as Kuma barks at the newly arrived person, Rosé squeezes Lisa’s arm, motioning her to go ahead and have her long overdue conversation with Jennie. She assumes they’ve spent the entirety of the night talking since Lisa exits Jennie’s room the next day, Kuma on her heels. Although she’s clearly had less sleep, Lisa appears to be refreshed, even better when she had finalized her talk with Rosé.

“Jennie and I are cool.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s great! So please don’t throw another watermelon.”

Lisa also narrates her story and enlightens Jisoo before they attend to an outfit fitting that same morning. Rosé was present because for some unfathomable reason, they discussed it in her bedroom, like their own separate bedrooms aren’t just as available (“The children are taking a nap so we can’t disturb them.” Lisa said. And by children she meant Dalgom, Leo and Luca).

Jisoo undergoes the same procedure as Rosé did, wordlessly listening intently to Lisa as she retells her account of their Thailand trip.

And Jisoo’s reply isn’t what Rosé had hoped for.

“So do you think I’m hot?”

“Uh…yes?”

“But not in a way that you would date me?” Jisoo clarifies, earning a befuddled stare from Lisa.

“No.”

“Alright, I’m good.”

“You’re not my type.”

“What do you mean I’m not your type?!”

Rosé groans, shooing both of her bandmates out of her room while Jisoo argues about Lisa’s horrible taste in women.

So the case has reached to its conclusion and Rosé unwillingly spends for Jisoo’s lunches for the remainder of the week (“When did you get so generous, Chaeng?” Jennie took notice) and does the cleaning of her and Jisoo’s shared bathroom (“Whoop, you missed a spot there, Chaeyoung!”).

However, her senses are still heightened whenever she sees Jennie and Lisa caught in their own bubble. It’s turned into an impulse. But Rosé knows it’s high time for her to retire being the awesome master detective that she is and discard her invisible magnifying glass because there’s really nothing going on.

Right?

***

The upcoming promotions for Ddu-Du Ddu-Du Du has made their schedules hectic more than usual. It must be the change in their laxed routine, after spending an entire year of a slight hiatus, that they haven’t adjusted yet to the earlier wake-up calls and the multiple workloads given in a single day.

Their calendar is a nightmare to look at, various events scribbled on each day, hardly any room for vacancy (“Wow, it’s like peeing is impossible to do with all this,” Jisoo commented).

Sometimes, Rosé just wants to breathe and stop everything for a second, then she remembers the agonizing months of not doing anything remotely productive because YG kept pushing back their comeback that she reenergizes herself.

But despite Rosé’s muscles screaming in absolute pain, voice hoarse from rehearsals and having sleep close to non-existent, she still gets a sense of fulfillment at the end of the day. It’s exhausting, yes. The good kind though.

And she’s confident that this year, they will surely dominate.

Blackpink is going to have one hell of a comeback.

***

When they were trainees, there were stories about male idols sneaking in their numbers inside the sandwiches, which were highly praised and in-demand at the Ingkigayo cafeteria. Rosé remembers how they fantasized and shrieked at the thought of having this modern-day Romeo and Juliet romance going on (they have to abide by the dating ban; if Rosé didn’t love performing, she could right then and there surrender herself to the convent).

It had been thrilling to daydream about, but now that it’s become a reality, it’s actually sort of…irritating? Not that she abhors any interest from the opposite , it’s just that she’s been waiting for these Inkigayo sandwiches since eternity or whatever and to have her meal interrupted sours her mood.

“What the…” Jennie fishes out a piece of paper that’s been wedged in between the bread and plastic wrapper.

“If you don’t want it I can eat it,” Rosé offers, consuming the remains of her sandwich. Not that she has to offer, it’s become a routine for everyone to give their leftovers to the human dump truck.

“Ooh, who gave that to you?” Jisoo asks, referring to the half-eaten sandwich and the semi-charred paper in Jennie’s fingertips.

“I was caught up with talking to Miyeon. Someone handed it to me.” Jennie searches among the crowd of artists who have gathered at the cafeteria.

Lisa approaches the three (after taking the longest piss in the world, Rosé notes), swiping the small paper out of Jennie’s hold. “What’s this?” She scans the writing keenly, then a teasing smirk forms on her lips, nudging Jennie on her ribs. “Unnie, so popular! Are you going for it?”

Jennie barely regards the scribbled phone number with interest. It’s something she’s accustomed to on several occasions. She’s entertained some in the past but she eventually leaves them hanging in the end. Relationships aren’t Jennie’s thing, Rosé can attest to this, so she crumples the paper from Lisa and dumps it in the nearest trash receptacle.

“You can have the rest of my sandwich, hubby.”

***

Lisa is requested to promote X Academy.

No shocker there.

She’s YG’s undisputed dancing machine, flawlessly snappy with undeniable charisma on the centerstage so who else would be befitting to endorse their prestigious dance academy? She choreographs her own routine for the collaboration, and she completes the choreographing, practicing, staging and recording all within twenty-four hours.

When Lisa returns home, Rosé is still awake, working on her calligraphy skills on the floor of her room. Lisa jumps on her bed and they talk for about ten minutes then Lisa stops replying altogether. Rosé peeks at her and she’s snoring against Rosé’s pillow.

“Damn, okay, nice talk.”

Rosé tucks her in with a blanket, which she snuggles into upon taking it.

The crew also films this dance bit starring YG’s famous dancers. Along Lisa, comes Winner and iKon members, Hoony and Donghyuk. They’ve had brief convos before but mostly comprising of greetings in the hallways of the YG building. A curt nod even, when their managers are there. So through X Academy, Lisa becomes more acquainted with the guys.

Still, not a shocker.

The shocker here is when Rosé begrudgingly wakes up in the middle of whatever ungodly hour it is, stomach growling for sustenance. She lugs herself to the kitchen, eyes heavy in a post-sleep haze. She absent-mindedly crashes into a furniture (almost says sorry, remembers that no, tables don’t have feelings so screw that) and hears a muffled voice causing her to stop in her tracks by the threshold.

“Haha—you saw that? What I said was nasal spray, I didn’t mean, you know… Hey, Donghyuk was right, you can be mean!”

It’s Lisa.

Rosé’s snooping days should be over but it’s so intriguing that, minute by minute, she is losing her drowsiness. Who could Lisa be on the phone with at the crack of dawn? She debates whether to make herself known, or to pretend she witnessed nothing. Her nosiness (a trait she’s acquired from Jisoo) gets the best of her as she struts into the main space of the kitchen, cornering Lisa who has her back to her.

“Anyway, we can continue later? Cool. Okay. Haha yeah, good morning. Bye, Chan.”

Chan?

As in, Chanwoo?

“Good morning to you too,” Rosé croaks groggily.

Lisa twitches in a panic, startled at the unforeseen appearance of Rosé. So startled that she nearly drops her phone, her hands struggling and fumbling until she clutches it to safety.

“I, uh, I—when did you..?” Lisa stutters, eyes blinking in rapid motion.

Rosé doesn’t beat around the bush. “So, Chanwoo, huh?” She teases.

The other girl relents, putting her guard down, shoulders flopping in defeat. She sighs, “You got me. Donghyuk gave him my number, which I permitted. He’s nice and all so why not?”

Rosé nods, understands that hey, they’re in their early twenties now and it’s not like other idols haven’t ignored the dating ban. “Just be careful, but you have to tell the unnies. No more secrets this time.”

“Aye, aye, Chaeyoung-ah!” Lisa responds in mock-salute.

Can’t believe this dork has gotten herself a boy.

***

As promised, Lisa shares to the rest of the group about her current situation with Chanwoo, gushing about the conversations they have to sneak and how mature he can be although she’s a year older than he is. Rosé could not resist but squeal at the giddiness of her best friend. Jisoo joins in on the fun too and Jennie does the same with a little too much enthusiasm, Rosé thinks. And the fact that she excuses herself to the bathroom in between Lisa’s stories makes it even more bizarre.

Has Jennie’s normal-sized bladder (she hardly has to tinkle most of the time) shrunk to a peanut?

“But he’s cute isn’t he?” Lisa asks the members for affirmation, her shy schoolgirl smile reaching her crinkling eyes.

“Totallyyy.” Jennie affirms easily then turns to Jisoo, “Scoot, I gotta go pee.”

“Again?” Jisoo inquires, somewhat annoyed that she has to get up again.

“Too much water.”

It’s odd, though it doesn’t alarm Rosé anyway so she lets it slide

***

The weeks go by and Lisa is becoming more and more open towards her bandmates, seeking for their advice occasionally. Because of former experiences, Lisa almost always runs to Jennie for her expertise and deep knowledge in the world of dating and going under the radar. The two are the closest and have known each other the longest to begin with.

Lately, however, Rosé notices some tension in the air. Like a mist, you can’t physically see it but it’s there. It differs from the tension then. It’s dark, it’s brooding and Rosé could deduce that it has something to do with the older girl this time.

“Is it only us for today?” Jennie asks.

“Yup. Unnie is at a shoot and Lisa is on a,” Rosé leans in to whisper, technically unnecessary since it’s just the two of them but does so as an added theatrical effect, “secret date.”

Jennie visibly stiffens at the last part of Rosé’s sentence. It’s quick and it lasts for about a millisecond, something you would catch if you have been observing her intently.

Rosé tilts her head quizzically. “Everything okay?”

Jennie shrugs, feigning indifference. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

***

“He says we should go to Everland soon.” Lisa shares excitedly.

“Fuuun.” Jennie picks at her nails, doesn’t bother sparing Lisa a glance.

Rosé could be dreaming but there was this underlying heat in her tone. A hint of sarcasm too. She’s not a fan of where this is going so she swerves the topic to something unrelated.

“I’m thinking Joohwang should stay here at the dorm.”

Jisoo snorts. “Sure, if you want him to be Leo’s breakfast tomorrow.”

And that was the end of that.

In the beginning, Jennie was happy to give her insights in Lisa’s varying dilemmas in dealing with her new arm candy. She had welcomed her questions without judgement and had provided her tips she deemed necessary. Then without any warning, like the unpredictable Seoul weather these days, there’s a sudden shift in Jennie’s demeanor. Her answers had become short and abrupt, in contrast to her long and detailed ones, and Rosé swears she’s seen Jennie roll her eyes at the mere mention of Chanwoo’s name.

Lisa’s not blind, but she doesn’t confront Jennie either, and chalks it up to exhaustion.

Rosé calls bull.

“You gonna finish that?” Rosé gestures to the pitcher containing orange juice. She’s sat across Jennie at the dining table, eating brunch.

“I’m full. You finish it,” Jennie says, setting down her chopsticks.

“Nah, I’m full too.”

“Never thought I would hear the day.”

“Shut up.”

“Any more orange juice?” Lisa walks in to the dining area, a glass in hand.

Jennie pours the rest of the contents into her own glass, emptying the pitcher. “Nope, sorry. All out.” She stands up tersely, the chair scraping against the hardwood harshly, and walks out of the room without another word.

Lisa’s confused puppy-like expression says: what did I do?

Rosé reacts with a shake of her head.

The reason for her clear-as-day­ display of passive-aggressiveness can mean one thing: Jennie is pissed and she doesn’t even look a tad bit sorry.

Rosé’s master detective senses are tingling again.

***

Jennie’s door is open.

And being the decent human being she is, Rosé goes to close it for her before heading to bed. Her hand scarcely makes contact with the doorknob when a low grumbling noise comes from the direction of Jennie’s bed. Rosé initially speculates it’s Kuma tossing and turning in his doggy dream.

“Pork skewers umnomnomnom.”

Unless Kuma’s gained a wider range of vocabulary, the voice most definitely belonged to Jennie.

Everyone knows that Jennie sometimes sleep-talks. They have mentioned it previously on numerous occasions in interviews and it’s downright hilarious, especially to Rosé who takes the time to conversate when given the chance since Jennie half-consciously formulates a response. So Rosé hangs back for a few minutes, making out the dark silhouetted lumpy figure underneath the duvet to be Jennie’s sleeping form.

“Mmm, get me some nomnomnom…”

Rosé bites the insides of her cheeks to keep herself from giggling. “Some what?”

“I’ll punch you in the ing face.”

That escalated quickly. Rosé coos amidst Jennie’s so-called threat. “Aww, how sweet of you, unnie.”

“I said go away Cha...”

Go away, Chaeng?

Is Jennie actually conscious?

“You want me to leave?”

“No…I said Chan.”

Chanwoo?

Does that mean Jennie doesn’t approve of Chan? Rosé hasn’t expected her to feel this way about him. Maybe it was her overprotectiveness of Lisa that she found Chanwoo to be unable to meet her standards for the maknae. That could be it.

Then again, Jennie could just be rambling nonsense.

“I like milk.”

Rosé snorts. She is definitely convinced for it to be nonsense.

“That you do.”

“I like Chanel.”

“We know, unnie.”

“I also like…like…”

“Liiike?” Rosé urges on.

“Like…”

Jennie’s voice cracks, like she’s about to cry in her sleep. There’s something about it that conveys a raw honesty and also a tiny hint of fear.

Now, Rosé is aware she shouldn’t take advantage of this. It could be something Jennie has to discuss with them in her own time, as in when she is fully awake and not buried deep in her duvet. Rosé cautiously moves to shut the door, ensuring it doesn’t make that creaking sound their doors do.

And just seconds until the door clicks shut, Rosé hears a very faint but very audible:

“Lisa…”

edited.