behind the scenes

***

"Have you seen them?"

"Nope."

"I thought I heard people here. Where could they be?"

"ing each other's brains out, I suppose."

A slap.

"Unnie!"

"Ow, what? Wanna bet on it, Chaeng?"

"We are not having another—"

"Chaeyoung! Jisoo! Can you come here for a sec?"

"Coming! Unnie get back here."

As soon as Rosé and Jisoo's footsteps fade away, Lisa exhales in her place. She wasn't even aware she had been holding in her breath. It must have been when her very attentive ears picked up Rosé 's unmistakable voice coming closer to the hallway, widening her eyes in a panic, and so did Jennie's which prompted the older girl to drag them into a thankfully unlocked room.

Lisa had no time to process what sort of room they had gotten themselves in, though she made a good solid guess upon catching a couple of buckets shoved in the corner, some dry mops on her right and a shelf with varying bottles of cleaning solutions were more than an indication of where they're at.

"That was a close one, don't you think, Nini?" Lisa chuckles at their predicament, her hands remaining firm on Jennie's hips as they had been minutes ago. She looks down to Jennie who has her features scrunched up.

"They bet on us?" She mutters, squinting her eyes into slits. "Those bastards."

"Yeah, we aren’t what I would call discreet." Lisa admits, grinning at the adorable pout that has appeared on Jennie's lips. She cups one hand delicately onto the side of Jennie's face, her thumb softly at her dumpling-shaped cheeks. "Shouldn't we tell them?"

Jennie nudges her head softly to lean onto Lisa's touch. "They already know anyway."

"They think they know." Lisa couldn't help but lightly pinch Jennie's cheek. "There's a difference."

"I just..." Jennie starts, biting her lip. Lisa lowers her hand back to its original position on Jennie's hips as she notices the worry in her tone. She draws Jennie closer to her front, and Jennie immediately buries herself onto the crook of Lisa's neck, wisps of warm breath tickling the taller girl’s skin.

It amazes Lisa how perfectly their bodies mold together in a perfect fit, how there's an adequate amount of space for Jennie to tuck herself like this, like she’s the missing piece to her jigsaw puzzle. Lisa couldn't believe she had been blind to her own feelings until several weeks ago. Her previous relationship hadn't exactly been a good one, not because of her significant other at that time (Chan was the best first boyfriend she could ask for), but because she couldn't take her mind off of her bandmate.

Lisa had genuinely liked Chanwoo. He was a gentleman with a great sense of humor and had considered Lisa's feelings before advancing into another step in their relationship. He made sure she was comfortable during their dates, yet there were moments when her thoughts would drift elsewhere. And whenever she was alone, her brain would dive into a series of what if's, mind unsteady about a girl only a few rooms over. It wasn't fair to Chan while he did everything to make it work. So Lisa broke it off before she could hurt him even more.

That didn't mean things with Jennie went on smoothly.

The process was rocky, confusing mainly due to the hot and cold attitude Jennie had. There had been an instance wherein their feelings didn't meet nor matched, and when Lisa had realized how deeply she had felt for Jennie, the girl was unfortunately dating someone else.

Jennie and Kai’s relationship didn't last long either.

At the opening, Lisa was quick to make a move and was hellbent on taking her chance, which brings her back to the present.

Jennie huffs against her chest, her hot breath sprouting goosebumps on the exposed flesh by Lisa's collarbone. "I don't want to mess this up, Lice. I want to deal with this with just you and me first."

"And not for the thrill of sneaking around?"

"What thrill? We're in janitor's closet, Lisa."

"And whose fault is that?" Lisa raises an eyebrow at her.

"I pulled you in the empty hallway to talk to you in private about the potential of Rosie or Jisoo-unnie walking in on us and about that big mouth of yours to shut you up."

"You sure shut me up by pinning me against the wall..."

Jennie momentarily avoids Lisa's gaze as a shade of pink blooms on her cheeks, most likely remembering the rushed kiss she had planted on Lisa. She then rolls her eyes in defeat. "Okay, so maybe I do like the thrill. It's kind of fun when we're trying to live in this world of our own, trying so hard not to get caught like some giddy lovestruck teenagers. It's fun." Jennie repeats, then stares with some gentleness into Lisa's eyes, bearing her heart and soul only for the younger girl to witness. "But it's mostly fun because it's with you."

Lisa grins at Jennie, already tasting a slice of heaven from those words alone. The sensation is indescribable, feeling light on her feet that she wonders if she would be ascending to cloud nine any minute now. To avoid from getting too mushy, she coos comically. "Aww, babe, being stuck in this janitor's closet with a pipe leaking on my head suddenly feels so romantic. Is this what modern-day romance feels like?"

"How am I dating you?" Jennie shakes her head, although with a hint of fondness adorning her pleased smile. "And we have to make up an excuse why we were gone for thirty minutes. They already think we're screwing."

"Aren't we heading towards that?" Lisa's voice drops as she inches downwards to Jennie's jaw, trailing her fingers along the length of the brunette's torso.

A groan rumbles from Jennie's throat. "Oh my God, I'm dating a hormonal teenage boy."

"Okay, okay." Lisa relents, giving in to the shorter girl's wishes. "Don't you have a list of food you wanted to try here in Thailand?"

"Oh yeah, I do." Jennie suddenly recalls the mental list she had made days prior to their flight for Lisa's hometown. "We could say you were helping me with that, and we went around asking the staff what else they could recommend."

"Which is unnecessary, truthfully speaking, when you have a hot local in your area to show you around." Lisa throws a self-assured wink at her.

"Alright time to get out. This tiny space has gone to your head."
 

***
 

Lisa savored the days, sometimes only hours, whenever she could have Jennie all to herself. During their day-offs, they would constantly share these silent exchanges, communicating with their eyes, basically a code to set up their rendezvous. And in the company of others, they have gone creative with their excuses, sputtering out stories of needing to do this or being called to do that. Lisa would say she would be going somewhere, and Jennie would say she would be out with Chahee or her mother (they would get into separate cars and meet within the one-kilometer radius of their meeting place).

But lying behind Jisoo and Rosè's backs isn't something Lisa is fond of doing. However, neither she nor Jennie are ready to come clean just yet, so they will have to keep up with their charade.

Besides, their friends have the faintest idea of what goes on between them. It’s just the lack of concrete evidence that is probably giving them second thoughts of their suspicion. Lisa is having too much fun hiding to give them the satisfaction, continuing to dance around with Jennie on their tiptoes.

"Can't we go hang in my room?" Lisa whines from Jennie's bed as she smoothens Kuma's fur, the fluffy Pomeranian busying himself by his paws beside her.

Jennie deadpans, unimpressed by her request. "Babe. Your room is a dump. And you have haunted jeans in your closet."

"My jeans aren't haunted." Lisa corrects her. "Something threw them at me."

"Still, some jeans-hating ghost could be residing in your room." Jennie argues, tossing her shopping bags aside (she really went on a shopping spree with Chahee this time). Since the two knew no one would be at the dorm, they agreed to come home early to take advantage of the hours of uninterrupted alone time. "By the way, did you bring home some food from a pastry shop? I was searching for something to wash off the awful taste in my mouth from whatever it was I ate for lunch.”

"No, I might’ve heard Rosie stop by a little before twelve. I was in my room then so I'm not too sure."

Jennie plops herself onto the mattress, the foam dipping at her weight, rolling to face Lisa and sporting the gummiest grin she could ever muster. Lisa also mimicks the mischievous grin she has adorned, propping her elbow and resting the side of her head on her palm.

"What?" Lisa asks all too quietly, despite being alone with Jennie in the comfort of her bedroom.

"Guess we have the place to ourselves..." Jennie states the obvious.

"Oh, so who's the hormonal teenage boy now?"

"Oh my God!" Jennie slaps Lisa's propped up arm, knocking her head back down to the pillow. "I wasn't insinuating anything." She proceeds to poke Lisa on the nose.

They stay like that for a good hour or two, alternating from kissing to having these mindless conversations.

Lisa has never felt this content.

"Wow, I'm loving your lipstick." Lisa husks out, pausing their kiss briefly. She hovers over Jennie, peppering her neck with short pecks as the older girl runs her hands around Lisa's back and hair. As much as she loves feeling and hearing the quickening of Jennie's breathing, she darts to Jennie's once more. "It's like cheesecake."

"Yeah, well because it is—"

"I'm hungry.” Lisa grumbles at the corner of Jennie’s parted lips, her stomach demanding to be fed. She can’t focus with the idea of a nice cup of orange broth floating through her imagination. “I'm craving for some ramyeon."

"We're out of ramyeon,” Jennie says, impatience littered in her tone. She tugs at Lisa’s neck to urge her to move forward, but the girl is too distracted by the information that they have run out of supply. “Chaeng ate everything.”

“But why?”

“Because it’s Chaeng?”

A drawn-out grunt bounces off the walls of Jennie’s bedroom. Lisa slumps herself sideways on the bed, completely dismayed. They had ordered a box of ramyeon about a week ago. How can someone finish all that? Did she consume it in one sitting? Why does Rosé have to eat like she has been deprived of meals?

"Did you just stop kissing me because you're upset we're out of ramyeon."

"Priorities, Jen."

"Okay."

"Wait, don't leave, I'm kidding! Your cheesecake lips are better!"
 

***

In the succeeding months of being together, Jennie refuses to let that incident go. It’s not everyday they could freely make-out (maybe go a little further), and to be prioritized over a bowl of noodles? Jennie can’t disregard the strange bruise it inflicted on her ego. She reminds Lisa every now and then of the choice she had made, to be rebutted with a, “I wasn’t thinking straight, babe, I was hungry and confused!”

"How about we pretend we're on a date?" Lisa proposes, breaking Jennie from her stupor, intertwining their fingers together amidst pushing through the crowd of the Coachella venue.

"In public?" Jennie clarifies if she understands what Lisa is implying.

"Scratch that, let's make this a date. A legit one." Lisa's eyes sparkle at her own proposal. She squeezes Jennie's hand in hers to put her at ease, as she habitually does. "I hold hands with Jisoo-unnie. Rosie too. We would be like two regular buds hanging out. Except we make out when others aren't looking. No one will figure it out. Just us."

"Confident aren't you?"

"Babe, playing lowkey is our thing."

Jennie has no choice but to agree. She's not wrong. They have learned the art of keeping everything on the down low, taking her up on the offer, tugging at their joined hands.

"Well, alright as long as you're paying."

"Of course, we will be eating as buds."

"So where are you taking me, bud?"

“Any requests, bud?”

Playing lowkey is definitely their thing.

***

(Somewhere down the line)

Interview with Seoul’s It-Girl and Chanel Ambassador, Jennie Kim

Last month saw fans go into a frenzy as Korean fashion icon, Jennie Kim, and photographer slash model slash choreographer, Lalisa Manoban sealed the deal the nature of their relationship through social media. While former bandmates, Kim Jisoo and Roseanne Park, have given their statements, the masses have yet to hear from the couple themselves. A moment of privacy had been asked by the girls’ respective managers in addressing the numerous requests for interviews.

And now, it seems like Miss Kim is more than ready to give the answers everyone has been so eager to hear.

Hi, Jennie we’re so glad to have you with us today.

Jennie: Thank you for having me.

Nervous?

Jennie: (Smiles shyly) I am. Anyone in my position would be. But I have to get this over with. Not just because the fans have waited long enough, but I’m also doing this for myself.

Alright, let’s begin. How has the past month been?

Jennie: Hectic, actually. After our posts went viral, we had to meet with our managers to sort everything out. They knew of our plan, and we did expect some kind of commotion to erupt. I could say we were prepared for it. We all decided it was best to let everything sink in for everyone, and a month’s worth of going under the radar was what we needed.

Exactly how did you two get under the radar?

Jennie: If I have to get into detail, we’ll be here all day (laughs). But to summarize, there were a bunch of security measures we had to follow to ensure we wouldn’t be caught or be hounded by reporters out of nowhere. New York is a city full of people, we couldn’t have our guards down. It was a meticulous process, which I completely understood to maintain our privacy. As much as I wanted to talk, Lisa and I agreed it would be better to give it some time before any of us would address the public.

I take it that a month is enough time?

Jennie: Definitely. This is a huge step for us, considering the culture in my hometown. The topic is still slightly taboo, but I can see some changes leaning to a more positive note so there’s that. And knowing we have a huge following, we wanted to lead as an example for people in the same boat as us, to be able to face their fears and embrace who they are and who they love. It shouldn’t have to be complicated.

Do you have fears from going public?

Jennie: It’s normal to be scared, right? I love our fans, I wouldn’t be here without their enormous support. At the same time, I did have this initial of fear of how they would react, if they would be disappointed. Then again, I thought, this is who I am and I shouldn’t change for anyone. If someone doesn’t like it, then tough on them.

That’s some impeccable bravery you have.

Jennie: People pleasing is exhausting in the long run, and I don’t want to lose myself through that. Lisa has taught me to stay true to myself, no matter what other people think I should be.

Now that you’ve mentioned Lisa, let’s move on to the next part. We’ve seen the different sides of Lisa on variety shows, but how is she as a partner?

Jennie: Oh gosh, where do I start? (giggles nervously) She’s amazing and very patient. Also very supportive in everything I do. Despite our busy schedules, she sneaks in a call or two per day even if it’s only a minute so I could feel she’s really there with me. She has been my number one cheerleader ever since we were in our teens.

Was it an easy transition to move from being friends to being a couple?

Jennie: Not quite. It was complicated. We both had a lot going on in our lives at that point. What remained clear was our main priority bein Blackpink. We didn’t focus on our relationship too much, but I guess a time came when we couldn’t hold it off anymore. The funny thing was, our members were just waiting for it to happen.

You both were still in Blackpink when it began. How did you manage to keep it a secret from your fans?

Jennie: From our reality shows, fans could see how the for of us are affectionate with one another. Especially Lisa. We kept that up. It evens everything out, lessens the suspicion. There are those who pay super close attention to what we do, and we just couldn’t control that. We just leave everything to our imaginations. Some are spot on with their suspicions, while some have looked to deeply into coincidences. It’s honestly funny how right and wrong they were (laughs). Like yeah, we’re together, but we’re not wearing matching bracelets that one time. I can’t blame them for coming up with those since we did leave subtle hints.

“Subtle my ,” Jisoo mumbles in amusement on the screen of the iPad, preventing Rosé from proceeding with the online article. The older girl’s hairdresser, who could partially be seen blow-drying Jisoo’s hair, briefly casts her a look of astonishment. Rosé sends her an apologetic smile on her friend’s behalf.

There are these moments where Rosé somewhat regrets teaching Jisoo some English slang. If she and Jennie hadn’t, the oldest might be learning them from another source in the form of their youngest member.

“If someone doubts your acting skills, unnie, just tell them, ‘ please!’ and flip your hair.”

Had Rosé not been there for that conversation, Lisa’s words of wisdom could have tainted Jisoo’s increasing vocabulary.

“You should be careful in saying that. It’s very inappropriate there.”

“Inappropriate my .” The make-up artist clears to somehow conceal the scowl developing on her unimpressed features, leaving Jisoo on the salon chair for a second. Jisoo finally realizes she has taken it too far. “Yeah, okay, my bad.”

“Told ya.”

“Are we still on for the 20^th?”

Rosé rests deeper into the cushions, almost drowning herself in the comfiest waiting chair she has ever sat on. She could hear the crowd buzzing on the outside of the waiting room, singing along to opening act’s soulful ballad. Her guitar is splayed on a table, strings tuned to perfection, the customized instrument glittering under the illumination.

She could never get quite used to this, get quite used to doing what she loves, performing to her heart’s content. The stage may feel blaringly empty without three other figures performing alongside her, but she is more than elated to see her best friends be happy in the different paths they have chosen, even with the oceans and hours between them.

No time zone nor distance could destroy the bond they have created.

“I’m flying Seoul on the 19^th, and Lisa did tell me she and unnie will be spending a few days in Jeju with unnie’s mom, so we could have our intimate reunion on the 20^th as planned.”

“Nice. I’ll inform the security of the apartment to let you guys in through the second entrance. Paparazzies won’t have any access there. You won’t have to be cautious about flashing lights suddenly popping out of nowhere. Though the receptionist is a fan, but she’s really friendly. She’ll maybe ask for a photo or an autograph.”

“Noted.” Rosé nods. Fans have always been close to her heart. She could gift the receptionist a signed album on her arrival. “Thanks for allowing us to use your penthouse, unnie.”

“It’s not everyday Blackpink gets to live under one roof again. In separate bedrooms.”

“Be sure to brief those lovebirds.”

“I’ll encourage them to have as many y times as they can in Jeju.”

A grimace graces Rosé’s glossy lips. “Gross, but like yeah. Good thing you pressure washed the couch from our old dorm before selling it.”

“I was tempted to burn it.”

“Rosé, you’re up in five!” Rosé’s manager peeps into the room, gesturing to the clock for her to be mindful of how much she has left to settle the bundle of nerves tingling her bones.

It’s still incredibly surreal after all these years, her dreams that were once just spoken promises to her younger self are now a reality. The crucial minutes before a performance still gives her the jitters, but the excitement that courses through as she gets lost in a song on stage overpowers it, eliminating her worries in an instant.

A notification on her iPad fills the top of the screen, baring a short message from Lisa:

go get it chaeng! we love you! -jen & lili

This is the shortest message she has received for tonight, her sister penning a long- essay about taking deep calming breaths and remembering to pee before the show. But God does she forget about her nervousness from being able to hear from her other two best friends regardless of the length of their message.

“Gotta go, unnie. Stay warm during the shoot!”

“Good luck on your show, go break an arm!”

“It’s break a leg!”

And as Rosé makes an appearance on stage, guitar slung over her shoulders, she could still feel the ghost of her best friends supporting her by her side as the crowd screams their lungs out into the venue.

“What’s up, Melbourne, are you guys ready?!”

unedited.

the first part is actually from the one-shot collection "i see you see me". i deleted that chapter and placed it on this story instead, considering not a lot were aware of the snippet shown in lisa's perspective. the interview was a draft that had been rotting in my notes for almost 2 years lol my writing style since the completion of this story has changed, but while i've had the urge to edit the entire story including the draft of this chapter, i figured it would be best to keep it as it is to remind myself of how my previous style had been.

as always, thank you for reading! and remember that this is a work of fiction, folks, so please ship responsibly!

if you wanna know what else i'm working on, you can follow me on twitter