Chapter 2: My Heart Flutters

I was happy, blissfully so, in the early days of our marriage. I was a young bride, madly in love with her husband. We were happy together, or so I thought.

But everything changed the night of the ball, my first ball at the palace, held in my honour to celebrate my debut as the new Empress of Korea. My marriage started unravelling that night. He changed that night; the warm, kind, loving man that I knew disappeared overnight, and in his place, a stranger stood; icy, distant, silent, someone I did not know, someone I grew to fear.

It made me shrivel inside, that coldness, that iciness, and die a little, day by day, until one morning I woke up and realized that it didn't matter anymore. I didn't care anymore. That girl whose heart had hung on his every word, who had lived only for the moments she had spent with him, basking in his affection in the early days of their marriage, died that morning. My Prince Charming did not exist, had never existed. He had crumbled to dust, and the ashes had cleared to reveal a cold stranger, a man that I did not know. That naive, gullible girl, who fell in love with her prince, died that day; and in her place stands this new, hard, cynical woman, who will stop at nothing to uncover the truth of what happened that fateful night, the night that So Hyun, the late Empress of Korea, died.

Chun Woo Bin is my only friend. He is the only person that I can trust in this cold, lonely place.

And then the inconceivable happened.

I faltered in my quest to discover the truth.

It was the second day of my live chat podcast. My first live chat had been quite a success, and I had enjoyed myself tremendously, apart from garnering a new fanbase who said nice things and were very supportive.

For my second live chat podcast, I had roped in Princess Ari and Emperor Lee Hyuk, who had reluctantly agreed; after all, we have to keep up appearances; nothing matters more to Hyuk than our image: that of a happily-married royal couple with an adorable, cherished daughter.

"Good morning," I beam at the camera. "I have two special guests today."

I train my camera on Lee Hyuk and Ari. Ari giggles. Hyuk smiles awkwardly.

"We're taking our morning walk," I say breezily. "We're going to play a game, and see who's the winner."

I unveil my surprise from my pocket: it's a jaegi ball, complete with glitter and tinsel.

"Each of us will bounce a ball with one foot. The ball falls off and you lose."

Ari starts first; she is giggling so hard and collapses on the ground after a few vain attempts.

I train the camera on Hyuk. 

"Your turn, Your Majesty" I grin.

Hyuk looks desperate.

He conjurs up a weak smile, stretches out his right foot stiffly, and kicks the ball.

Plop.

The ball falls dejectedly to the ground.

He stares at it, stunned.

Ari is rolling on the ground, howling. 

"First attempt fail," I yell. "You lose." 

I shove the camera in his face.

"Enough," he says weakly, and tries valiantly to smile.

"Coward," I snort. "Here, take this." I shove the camera in his hand. 

"My turn," I say sweetly. "I'll show you how a professional kicks."

I hoist my skirts up, and reveal my track pants in their full glory.

And then I'm a whirlwind of flying kicks, mindboggling twists and gravity-defying moves. The jaegi ball slices through the air in a blur of speed and light, always landing daintily, perching like a shiny, glorious bird on my right, then my left foot.

The final masterstroke has Ari gasping in awe: the ball lands majestically on my nose, right on its tip. I freeze, and hold the pose, opening my arms wide to Ari's applause. 

I straighten, just in time to catch Lee Hyuk smiling at the camera.

He's smiling at my silly pose on camera, and he can't stop smiling; it's like he can't help himself.

He catches my eyes on him, and looks up, the smile still on his lips.

I have never seen him smile at me like that in a long, long time.

He used to smile at me like that all the time, back in the early days when we were first married.

It is the sweetest, most genuine smile ever. His face lights up, lightening the sombreness and the seriousness, chasing away the shadows, dispelling the darkness. His eyes are alit with light and laughter and happiness. He looks young and boyish, standing there, smiling at me, the sun glinting on his dark hair, bathing him in a glow of radiance and bright light.

It makes me sad, that smile, because it makes me remember what it was like before, what we were like before. And it makes my heart flutter, just like it did in the old days, when I was young and foolish.

His smile fades. He looks away, a slight flush on his cheeks.

He clears his throat, and says brusquely to the camera, "This time the Empress won. I did not win because I was not prepared. I will practise more so that I will be prepared next time. Goodbye."

I lunge at him.

"Hey, I didn't say goodbye," I yell. "You turned it off before I could say goodbye."

Ari giggles.

"Are you two having a lovers' fight? You look like you are," she giggles, and runs off.

He looks at me, and his eyes are different, somehow; they are soft and gentle, and his eyes linger for a moment on me. He looks happy. He looks like he had enjoyed being with me and with Ari. 

"Shall we?" he asks politely, and extends a hand to me.

I collect my wits.

Remember your plan.

I ignore his hand, and dash past him, running to catch up with Ari.

He follows close behind.