Chapter 1: I Was Lonely

I wake up and the room is pitch dark.

"You're awake," a deep voice says.

I open my eyes wide, startled.

My heart starts to pound.

What is he doing here, in my room, sitting there by my bed in the dark?

He meets my gaze.

"I couldn't sleep," he says. "I wanted to see you, to talk to you, to hear your voice."

I say nothing.

"I was waiting for you to wake up, but you kept on sleeping," he says.

I look at him impassively, my face a frozen mask, and he looks away, his face tightening.

"Why are you here?" I grit through my teeth. "I thought I said that you are never to enter my bedroom."

I clench my fists on the sheets.

"Get out."

He reaches out and pulls me to him. I can smell whisky on his breath.

He lays his face against my neck and holds me tightly.

I can feel his body trembling.

"I was lonely," he whispers. "Please don't tell me to go. Please let me stay here with you like this, for just a while. Please."

I feel something warm and wet on my neck, my shoulder.

Tears.

He is crying.

I hold my body rigidly, but my hands tremble at the sides.

I am lonely, too, I cry inside. Against my will, my eyes fill with tears.

What would he do if I put my arms around him, hug him to me, breathe him in, inhale that scent of his, spicy, and mixed with the potent heady tinge of wine? Would we be able to forget all the hurt, all the anger, all the pain that have come before this moment, that have built that insurmountable wall between us, and broken my heart into a million pieces?

There is a discreet knock on the door, and then it opens.

Chun Woo Bin strides in, and stops, when he sees us. 

"Your Majesty," he says softly. "Let me you to your room. The empress needs to rest."

He puts his hands on Lee Hyuk's shoulders, and helps him to his feet.

I feel Lee Hyuk's arms fall reluctantly from me, and a cold draft of air where his body had rested.

Lee Hyuk turns at the door and our eyes meet.

He smiles sweetly at me.

I catch my breath.

"Have a good rest, my Empress," he says softly.

The door closes, and I am alone again in the dark.