(Sooyoung POV)

“Thank you for coming on such short notice,” Joohyun began, her hands clasped together at her front. She looked at her expectant audience of two, sitting side by side on the sofa. Yerim was slouched down on the pillows, just low enough for her shoeless feet to reach the coffee table, where they currently rested, but not for long if Sooyoung knew her restless friend at all.

“I called you here today because I wanted to discuss Seungwan,” Joohyun continued. A light sigh escaped Yerim at the words, though she at least had the decency to cover it up by stretching. Sooyoung turned to her and they shared a moment of silent communication in the way their eyes expressed the pure exhaustion living inside them.

It wasn’t that they didn’t know how to go about getting Seungwan and Joohyun together. They didn’t, obviously, but either way they’d sworn off helping those two. Well, “helping”. Regardless of nomenclature. They weren’t making any more attempts at matchmaking, so they didn’t need to waste any more brain power on their schemes.

No, the source of the exhaustion was much more direct and inescapable. It was Joohyun’s absolutely inscrutable behaviour regarding Seungwan. She liked her, clearly. In the years since she’d met her, Sooyoung had never seen Joohyun make such an effort to approach someone. Given the baseline, she was still far from overbearing, but it was still impressive.

But did she have any feelings or did they simply click? Maybe Joohyun just wanted a friend who wasn’t five years younger than her, to have someone to talk to while Sooyoung and Yerim were stuck with homework. She probably had a bunch of old-person pop culture references that finally someone would understand.

It didn’t help that, if there were any feelings there, Joohyun definitely wouldn’t be aware of them. Sooyoung was much better at identifying conscious denial than the subconscious alternative. Seungwan’s stuttering defensiveness and awkward glances were like an open book, but Joohyun was a riddle wrapped in a mystery. Even to herself, she’d guess.

Yerim’s furtive eyeroll before breaking eye contact reminded Sooyoung that her friend’s exhaustion probably had slightly different reasons. The younger woman didn’t bother so much with not knowing Joohyun’s feelings as she did with having to constantly devote her time and attention to more of the Seungwan/Joohyun – SeungHyun, if you will - romantic nonsense. That girl really didn’t have a romantic bone in her body.

“As you know, she has been having some troubles with her love life,” Joohyun elaborated with a look of sober concern. Yerim snorted and Sooyoung had to conceal a growing smile behind her hand. She silently smacked Yerim’s shoulder when Joohyun wasn’t looking.

“And, of course, our last attempt to help failed quite spectacularly.” At this, Joohyun raised her eyebrows and fixed her eyes on the duo for the first time. “I’ve come to realize that I can’t rely on your assessment alone when it comes to this,” she said ominously. Sooyoung at her bottom lip and looked up at Joohyun silently. “And that’s my fault. I forgot that you’re nearly as inexperienced as I am in this area. You probably get your ideas from tv shows or young adult fiction. None of us know what we’re doing.”

Sooyoung felt the urge to point out that she and Yerim had an infinitely better grasp of the situation than Joohyun, which she obviously suppressed. By her side, Yerim seemed too offended by the suggestion that she read YA to focus on anything else Joohyun had said.

Sooyoung opened to remind the room that Seungwan had very pointedly asked Joohyun not to “help” anymore, but she could barely get out a “uh” before Joohyun was talking again.

“Now, I know that Seungwan asked us not to interfere with her love life,” she remarked as if she’d read Sooyoung’s mind.

“Asked you,” Yerim corrected in a low voice which Joohyun would only have heard if she was actually paying attention to her audience. As expected, she proceeded with no notice.

“But that’s only because we’re bad at it,” she exclaimed with excitement. Sooyoung casually wondered how long it had taken her to reach that particular wrong conclusion.

“Why - “ was all Sooyoung could manage this time before Joohyun cut her off again.

“I know I might be getting a little ahead of myself. After all, just because somebody isn’t in a happy romantic relationship, doesn’t mean that they necessarily need to be driven to that situation in order to be fulfilled,” she continued animatedly, sounding a lot like she was just narrating her thought process, “but Seungwan seems unhappy at the mere mention of her love life. Clearly, she is not satisfied with the current state of affairs.”

“I - “ tried Yerim with a resigned look, clearly not expecting much success.

“It’s not good for her to be keeping it all in. Even if her friends can’t help in practical terms, she should still be able to depend on them for support. A sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on, a…”

Joohyun continued enumerating all the ways in which she hoped to help Seungwan with her crush, oblivious to how Yerim and Sooyoung leaned closer together and began talking in low whispers.

“She’s not even listening to us, is she,” Yerim said in a tone that indicated it was more a statement than a question.

Sooyoung’s drawn-out sigh was answer enough. She took another glance at Joohyun. “How much longer do you think this monologue is going to take?”

“How much do you want to bet that it ends with a dumb conclusion?” Yerim asked in return, eliciting a small choking sound from Sooyoung as she tried to push down laughter. “Anyway, do you think she’ll mind if I go grab my laptop? I have a presentation on Monday and this isn’t the emergency I expected it to be.”

The question was only half-serious, so Sooyoung didn’t bother answering with anything more than a quick raise of her eyebrows. She rested her chin on her hand and observed as Joohyun carried on, lost in her own world.

“What do you think?” Sooyoung asked after a pause, turning to read Yerim’s expression.

“I think if she keeps this up I might have to pull an all-nighter.”

She didn’t even bother rolling her eyes. “I meant about Seungwan, obviously, you idiot,” she replied drily.

“Takes one to know one,” Yerim retorted more out of habit than anything. “I think she created this problem and it’s beyond unfair that I’m the one suffering the consequences.”

“No, about Seungwan and Joohyun, ugh!” Sooyoung let out in frustration. Yerim’s mouth twisted into a mocking grin, clearly finding amusement in teasing her. She paused to take a deep breath, looking pointedly away from the annoying child by her side. “Why do I even bother talking to you?”

“Because you don’t have any friends?” Yerim suggested immediately, then shifted away just in time to escape Sooyoung’s attempt to shove at her side.

Still, Sooyoung’s arms were much longer than Yerim’s, and they were both well aware of that, so she quickly signalled her apology in order to avoid a losing battle. Shifting back to her original position, she glanced at Joohyun to check if she was still entertained then turned to Sooyoung to finally answer her question.

“Honestly, I have no idea. Joohyun’s definitely weird about it, but I can’t tell if it’s just her usual weird or something else,” she admitted. Turning to Sooyoung more fully, she raised a suspicious eyebrow. “But it doesn’t matter because we’re not messing with them anymore, right?”

“Yes, relax, no messing. They can beat around the bush until they’re 90 and we’ll just sit there and watch,” she said with an eyeroll, patting Yerim’s arm in mock comfort.

“Don’t even joke about that, I don’t think I could survive a lifetime of the awkward SeungHyun show,” Yerim replied with a shudder.

“You used the ship name!” Sooyoung exclaimed excitedly, although she still kept her voice barely above a whisper. Her friend refused to acknowledge her words, so she carried on. “Anyway, apparently it’s less awkward when it’s just the two of them. Although, I’m taking Joohyun’s word for it here, so who knows what it’s really like.”

“I don’t see how it could be more awkward,” Yerim pointed out, sounding unimpressed.

“If anyone can find a way, it’s those two.”

They took only a second to notice something was wrong, and another to realize that the apartment had suddenly fallen into silence. Looking up, they saw Joohyun staring at them expectantly, awaiting their reaction to whatever she’d just said.

Yerim’s lips moved, forming a very quiet “oops”. Sooyoung locked eyes with Joohyun for an awkward moment before she opened . “I’m sorry, you lost me for like a second, could you say that last thing again?”

“I said I should date,” Joohyun offered helpfully.

They sat in silence for a while, as they both waited for Joohyun to finish her sentence. “Date whom?” Yerim finally asked, as Joohyun didn’t seem inclined to elaborate on her own.

“Oh, I didn’t really think of that. Anyone, I suppose.”

Yerim’s expression was completely neutral and she simply sat motionless on the sofa, meaning that either she’d tried and failed completely to get a grip on the situation or she’d reached her limit of romantic nonsense and refused to spend any more energy managing it. Either way, it was up to Sooyoung.

“I think you might have lost me for more than a second,” she amended, still a little dazed. “Could you maybe back up a little, explain that reasoning again?”

“But, like, a condensed version maybe,” Yerim piped up at last. Sooyoung elbowed her. “My presentation,” she whispered in a pleading voice.

“Well, I can’t help Seungwan because I have no experience in the area. Logically, if I want to help her, I need to acquire this experience. I can do this by going on dates,” Joohyun concluded simply. Sooyoung vaguely wondered how it had taken her so long to explain it earlier. Exactly how many tangents had she missed? And how, if this idea was as ridiculous as she knew it must be, did it all sound so logical?

“Uh, question,” Yerim said with a raised hand. “Why do you want to help her if she expressly asked you not to?” Right, there it was. Sooyoung sighed in relief.

Surprisingly, Joohyun only shook her head impatiently. “I explained that too. She doesn’t want my help because I’m useless. Once I understand relationships, that’ll change.”

It sounded so simple. Was Sooyoung losing her mind? She looked at Yerim pleadingly, hoping her eyes communicated at least some of her panic, but the look on Yerim’s face was closer to resignation than anything else. She shrugged imperceptibly, clearly accepting their new reality.

With a glance at Joohyun and a lifted finger, as if to say “give us a minute”, she shifted closer to Yerim to whisper as low as she could. “Yerim, this is a terrible idea.”

“We said we wouldn’t interfere,” she pointed out with finality.

“This is different. I’d be opposed to this even if I didn’t want her with Seungwan,” Sooyoung argued, though she could see that her words weren’t making much of an impact.

“Sounds like a lot of ifs,” Yerim replied with a raised eyebrow, like her suddenly moralistic act wasn’t just because she wanted to witness the chaos. “No messing means no messing. No matter what.”

She turned to Joohyun and raised her voice. “Guess you’re dating,” she said cheerily. Joohyun’s pleased expression spelled out doom in Sooyoung’s eyes, though she was comforted by the thought that she’d probably have gone through with this ridiculous plan regardless of their opinions.

At that point, Joohyun seemed to realize that she’d been standing in the middle of her living room for a very long time and for no particular reason. She quickly made her way to the sofa, where Sooyoung and Yerim spread apart to make room for her between them. Once she was seated, she reached out her hands to rest on their legs. Looking from one to the other, she opened . “So. How do I date?” she asked a bit sheepishly.

Okay, maybe there was still hope.

(…)

(Seungwan POV)

The demon children were being suspiciously nice. Not normal human being nice, because only some cataclysmic event could bring that about, but nice enough to raise questions. Like when Yerim had caught Seungwan staring at Joohyun for what was certainly an abnormal amount of time and hadn’t bothered with any teasing beyond a knowing smirk. Or that couple of times when they hadn’t taken advantage of some ambiguous remark made by either herself or Joohyun to bury her in subtle digs and double entendres.

Sooyoung even texted her before dropping by her apartment. Well, sometimes. Not that often. And it was more a notification that a request for permission. But anything more than zero was already a welcome improvement, really.

Of course, all these events left Seungwan with a vague sense of dread over their cause. The most logical conclusion was that those two either pitied her as a hopeless case or were preparing an epic prank that required gaining her trust to some degree. Or maybe they felt bad for what they’d done or were warming up to her.

God, her naïve tendency to look for the best in people really was pathological. Seungwan sighed, her hands resting on the cool kitchen counter. Was it really that dumb to hope that Sooyoung and Yerim were making some sort of effort to meet her halfway? Probably, but she’d never been one to be stopped by petty things like infinitesimal odds of a positive outcome.

“They’re probably up to something, right?” she asked her only company, which was currently sitting on a kitchen chair, watching her silently. He didn’t bother to respond, of course. He was never very talkative unless she was holding his dinner. But he did hold her gaze unblinkingly, which she’d come to interpret as disagreement.

“Oh, what do you know?” she huffed in displeasure. The least her cat could do was listen without judgment, it wasn’t like he was that dignified. That very morning she’d watched him roll over in his sleep and fall off the sofa. “You’re just like that because you like Sooyoung, you think I don’t know? You’d fall for anyone who feeds you, you sell-out.”

Mr. Fluffers didn’t bother denying the accusation. Instead, he stretched out his legs then lowered his body until he was comfortably lying down. His eyes blinked once, slowly. “You always go to sleep when you don’t like the conversation,” Seungwan complained without much feeling. Honestly, Fluffy going to sleep had never done much to stop her from talking to him anyway.

Still, it was hard to keep the illusion when she was looking straight at his sleeping form, so she turned around to focus on her dinner. She started chopping vegetables slowly, her mind far away.

“Anyway, they’re definitely up to something,” she began again, her eyes still on the chopping board. “I don’t care what you say, they look guilty.”

As she said it, she realized the truth of her words. They really did seem like they felt guilty. So she could be the optimistic fool and assume that it had been the love intervention or the realistic sage and expect that some other storm was just around the corner. It really wasn’t that much of a stretch, given her life lately. And speaking of storms around the corner…

“Oh, I didn’t tell you, did I? Seulgi wants me to go on dates again,” she said with an eyeroll that was really for nobody but herself. Not like any part of talking to her cat wasn’t for herself alone. “She says if I’m giving up on Joohyun then our deal is back on.”

Throwing a quick glance over her shoulder, she found that Mr. Fluffers was watching her with eyes wide open. Too much excitement to nap quite yet, clearly. The unexpected attention made her somewhat flustered, though she was well aware of how dumb that was. Still, she dared anyone not to feel judged under the weight of her cat’s disinterested gaze. She turned back to the vegetables to make sure she didn’t slice off a finger.

“I’m not sure what to tell her,” she admitted, trying to sound casual. “I mean, I want to get over Joohyun, obviously. But I don’t think it’s working quite yet, so… I might as well just admit that to Seulgi and get out of dating for now, right? But I don’t want to sound like I’m still trying for anything either.”

She shrugged away her confusion and reached for a bowl to beat the eggs she’d left on the counter. A small creaking sound reached her ears as Mr. Fluffers straightened up in his seat, clearly hoping that her movements led her to his dinner. Right, might as well get that out of the way now, so he wouldn’t be weaving between her legs while she held a hot pan. It was never a good combination.

Leaving her own food on pause for a moment, she pulled a can of wet food out of the pantry and opened it quickly. Fluffy was out of his seat in a second, suddenly chatty. He meowed loudly as she poured a third of it into his bowl and set it down for him, only falling silent when he was munching away happily. The remainder of the can was left in the fridge and Seungwan returned her attention to her own dinner after washing her hands.

She cracked the eggs and beat them, her body relaxing into the familiarly numbing rhythm for a few seconds. Thoughts of her neighbour occupied her mind, with her best friend and the two younger women only contributing to the confusion. She felt like she was being pulled in all directions, though she couldn’t blame that entirely on the others. Her own brain did a good enough job of being completely contradictory.

After the eggs had been beaten and seasoned, the sliced vegetables joined them in the bowl, then the whole mixture was unceremoniously dumped on the frying pan. Seungwan scrambled the eggs with a wooden spoon, too distracted to try for an omelette.

“Joohyun’s just…” she started, then paused for a moment, unsure of what exactly she was even trying to say. The eggs started to solidify, quickly becoming dinner. She took another stab at pinning down her thought process. “I can’t tell what’s going on. She’s really confusing. Or more like I’m confusing myself over her. She’s a friend. She’s being friendly. I’m the one who keeps misunderstanding. Probably subconsciously on purpose. My brain would do that.”

She paused her incoherent rant to take a breath. The eggs were done. She scooped them back into the mixing bowl, which she’d quickly rinsed. Doing dishes was for dopes. Leaving the pan in soapy water, she took her bowl to the sofa, Mr. Fluffers close on her heels. He nestled by her side with a short burst of purring, then lapsed into silence as she ate slowly.

The quiet lasted for three or four bites. “You should meet her,” Seungwan finally said, her left hand loosely holding her fork against the bowl. “She’s nice,” she mused in a low tone. “Too bad she’s afraid of cats, I guess.”

Two bites was all it took for her pragmatic attitude to fade into nothing and for her hand to once again pause between forkfuls as her eyes unfocused and her mind drifted far away.

“She’s just… It’s like you never know what to expect. She’s quiet and serious and kind of, I don’t know, mothering with Sooyoung and Yerim. She seems like such a grown-up, but then she’ll get super excited about something really small, like winning some game or when I finally agree to do whatever dumb thing she wants me to do, and it’s like she’s a little kid.”

She dropped her hand from her bowl and let it settle on Fluffy’s fur, petting him softly. His purring vibrated slightly against her skin. She smiled distantly.

“She has all these different smiles. Like, this big fond smile that she gives Yerim whenever she’s talking about her studies, or this bright, kind of proud-looking smile, when Sooyoung praises her for whatever. Then there’s the complicit smile she gives me when we’re talking about the girls.” She paused, deep in thought, wondering when she’d even noticed and filed away the minute changes in Joohyun’s expressions of happiness. “When I let her get away with something, she smiles like she’s just so excited and careless. Like all that matters in that moment is that little victory. Maybe that’s why I’m such a pushover with her dumb ideas. God, I can’t believe I played truth or dare with them.”

She chuckled softly at her own weakness. Mr. Fluffers’s purring had reached its peak and was now dying away as he drifted off into sleep.

“And when she laughs, it’s like… I guess it’s her excitable side again. It’s a little strange to hear such an unrestrained sound come from such a composed and classical-looking person. But it’s a really good kind of strange. I don’t know, she seemed so closed off at first that it feels like every dorky side of her is a secret that I get to be a part of.”

Fluffy’s soft snoring finally pierced through her daze and she blinked away the thoughts clouding around her mind. “Oh, my eggs are getting cold,” she gasped out as she realized it, quickly charging back into her dinner before it cooled off completely.

Between bites, her thoughts dispersed in ever growing circles, casting a wider net around her feelings, her experiences, her past. At least this time she seemed capable of managing both the musing and the eating.

“Have you ever fallen in love?” she asked the sleeping cat by her side. “Probably not, since you’re a cat and everything,” she eventually concluded. She poked around the remainder of the eggs, then put the bowl down on the carpeted floor with finality, concluding her meal. Much to Fluffy’s distaste, she then shifted on the sofa, bringing up her legs so that she sat hugging her knees against her chest. She rested her cheek against her arm, looking away into nothing.

“I’ve never fallen in love,” she added casually, her shoulders rising in a small shrug. “Dated enough for it, but… I guess I’m not very good at it.” Fluffy, who’d woken up somewhere in the middle of her repositioning, gazed at her with unimpressed eyes.

“What?” she asked, feeling judged. “Yeah, yeah, it’s not necessarily my fault, Seulgi keeps saying that too. But I don’t know, I’m kind of the common element, aren’t I?” She reached out a hand to poke at her cat’s forehead, hoping to draw his indignation to more manageable sources, like her prodding finger. “If I only dated y people, that’s on me too.”

Mr. Fluffers batted at her hand half-heartedly but didn’t pursue it further. Not even a distracting nibble. Instead, he opted to move further down the sofa, out of her reach, where he promptly resumed his staring.

“What do you know, it was before your time anyway,” she concluded with a huff. She considered leaning over to pester him some more but gave up and opted instead to get up and clean up after her cooking. Mr. Fluffers quickly got the hint and hopped off the sofa towards the bed, the only place where his human knew how to sit still and spent 8 wonderful hours being the perfect pillow. He’d wait for her there, happy to avoid the soapy water that so often splashed dangerously near his precious fur.

As she dealt with the soaking pan as quickly as possible, thoughts of Joohyun continued to swirl around her head, mixing with memories, more or less recent. She smiled at nothing in particular, distracted by the contrasts that arose between past and present. The thought of Joohyun cheating, using her to get to someone or something else, disappearing without even bothering to break up, all seemed beyond ludicrous. A particular thought drifted just outside her reach, coming teasingly closer but never letting itself be captured.

Later, slipping into bed and lifting the covers for Fluffy to curl up by her side under their protective warmth, she finally managed to grasp it. She studied the notion in her mind, something unexpected but completely obvious. It felt a little silly to be so in awe of it, but she honestly hadn’t considered it before, and she observed it closely, like a child who’d found a strange new seashell at the beach.

“Joohyun would make a good girlfriend,” she finally said out loud, in a soft and shy voice. She scratched Fluffy’s forehead absent-mindedly, smiled as she felt more than heard his responding purr. Careful not to disturb him, she stretched out her arm to turn off the light, then stared at the darkness with a small smile. “That’d be nice for a change.”