Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to die alone with cats. She loved cats. Sure, she would sleep alone in a cold and empty bed for the rest of her life, but still. Cats. Those guys sure know how to warm you up. She just had to focus on the bright side: if she resigned herself to her lonely fate, she would never again lose sleep over her inability to ask a girl out. Because she would never ask a girl out and she would live her entire life alone and then die. Alone.

Seungwan sighed, willing the word “alone” to stop echoing in her mind. This always happened when she forgot her headphones at home and her brain was given free rein to just think. Sometimes the thoughts were a little more fun though, featuring fun activities with attractive people that tinted her cheeks red and caused her to lose track of her surroundings. The fun thoughts led to a lot of bumping into the corners of furniture. Then there were the more neutral thoughts, like “how much does a donut have to be altered in order to no longer be recognized as a donut” or “what is «are we humans or are we dancers» supposed to mean”.

On this particular day, as Seungwan returned from the supermarket weighed down by a few bags of groceries, her brain was occupied by the decision to give up on her love life, which seemed increasingly alluring now that she was trying to hype herself up to ask a girl out. On the one hand, a cold and empty existence. On the other, the possibility of failure and humiliation. It was a tough one.

Finally, she arrived at her building. She balanced her bags awkwardly while fumbling with her keys, trying to open the front door without dropping anything. A figure in the entrance hall stepped forward to spare her the effort, silently letting her in. Seungwan thanked her and quickly walked inside, then scrambled to a stop, trying and probably failing to look casual.

It was her. Her neighbour. Her super pretty, super probably-uninterested neighbour. Her neighbour who was very nicely dressed and clearly waiting for someone to pick her up. Just like the previous day. Of course it was just her luck that as soon as Seungwan seriously considered asking someone out they found someone else. And yes, she had been “seriously” considering it for a month, but still. The principle of the thing. And Seungwan had just walked in looking like a sack of potatoes in an old college hoodie and a messy ponytail, which was just. Great.

She walked over to her mailbox and put down her bags, searching for the key in her pockets. She wasn't even sure why she was trying to prolong their time together. So she could get a glimpse of the mysterious date and confirm that they were better than her in every way? Sure, sounded fun enough. She noticed the neighbour looking at her.

“Just, uh, checking my mail before I go up.” She chuckled awkwardly, immediately feeling like an idiot. The other woman simply quirked an eyebrow, as if to point out that not much mail would be arriving on a Sunday evening. “...I forgot to check yesterday. Or today before I left for my groceries.”

She chuckled again and made a mental note to stop chuckling forever starting immediately. She finally managed to open her mailbox, which was unsurprisingly empty. The appeal of dying alone with cats increased with each passing moment. She gathered up her bags then spoke up again, because she was an idiot with no self-control.

“So, you're going on a date? Just, because you're all dressed up and...” She let her sentence trail off and cleared . A few moments of silence stretched on as her neighbour tried to determine whether she was going to say anything else. As it became clear that Seungwan was done, she responded.

“I'm going out for dinner with my parents. They're in town for the weekend so I've been keeping them company.”

Seungwan nodded to make time for her brain to decode what the woman had just said, a bit distracted at finally hearing her voice saying something longer than “good morning”. It was a really nice voice. Matched her face. Then the meaning of the words hit her. Parents, not date. Parents! Not date!

“Oh, so that's why you -” She stopped halfway through her relieved exclamation. It was probably rude to say “that's why you actually left your home on a weekend”, right? Even if it was true. She paused awkwardly, then continued with “Er, why you were dressed so nice. Because, your parents. Dinner.” She chuckled nervously. She should have known she couldn't adhere to a chuckle ban.

“Yes,” her neighbour drawled slowly. She looked at her watch, then outside, like she was willing her parents to materialize and save her from the world's least articulate person. Seungwan carried her bags over to the elevator to grant the woman the small mercy of leaving, then turned around to say goodbye.

“So, speaking of weekends and doing things on them.” That was not goodbye, not even close. That was bad idea territory. “Are you... doing anything? On the next one, that's coming, after this one.” Seungwan's brain had abandoned all logical processes and was now just shouting out a continuous “no”. The woman looked at the empty street again and Seungwan turned away to push the elevator button. She wondered if she could get away with just pretending she hadn't said anything and leaving and then moving to a different apartment in a different continent.

Suddenly, an idea. “Because I am.” Seungwan, you genius. “Next weekend, I'm going out of town with friends. I need someone to feed my cat while I'm gone.” Amazing. A fool-proof save and a ticket to at least one more social interaction with her pretty neighbour. Sometimes, she really outdid herself. “I would ask my friends, but they won't be here. Because I'm going out of town with them.” Okay, so maybe not a genius. Still having a little trouble with the talking.

“Oh, okay. I can do that.” The neighbour sounded relieved, but maybe that was just her imagination. Seungwan was too embarrassed to turn back around and check. Finally, the elevator arrived and she started placing her bags inside.

“So, I'll talk to you later? To give you my apartment keys and stuff.”

“Yes, you can come by any day after 7.”

She attempted an awkward smile, but the other woman was once again peering outside. A car had just pulled up. Sticking an arm out to keep the elevator doors from closing, Seungwan called out “I'm Seungwan, by the way.”

“Oh, I'm Joohyun. Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

She saw her walk out the building as the elevator doors closed. Seungwan leaned against the wall, feeling her heart pound in her ears. She took a few deep breaths, attempting to calm it, then immediately grabbed her phone to text Seulgi.

«Hey, got any plans for next weekend? I kind of need a place to crash»

A fool-proof plan.

(…)

Maybe it wasn’t such a good plan. Sure, it was quick thinking, and saved her and Joohyun from the experience of receiving and delivering a humiliating rejection, respectively, but beyond that... Not her finest. And when she dropped off her spare keys, Joohyun just nodded at her instructions and didn't even want to come over and meet Mr. Fluffers, so that interaction lasted about 10 seconds.

And now here she was, at Seulgi's place, having a sleepover for no reason except that she was terrible at talking to girls. She sighed and gripped her pillow tighter. Seulgi poked her side gently.

“You can still talk to her when you pick up your keys next week,” she offered optimistically, easily able to guess at Seungwan's train of thought. “Trust me, this is just the start, now it's going to be much easier to approach her.”

Seungwan sighed again and dropped sideways on the couch. “I'm never going to be able to talk to her ever again. This is the end for me and love.”

Seulgi laughed and poked her again, this time on her legs. “Come on, it's going to be fine. And it's not the end for anything.” Seungwan groaned, but didn't move. “Look, even if it doesn't work out -”

“So you don't think it's going to work out!” Seungwan exclaimed, interrupting her and launching herself up to face her. Seulgi sighed.

“I didn't say that. I think it's going to go great. But even if it didn't, you'd be fine. Plenty of fish in the sea,” Seulgi concluded with a smile, patting Seungwan's knee.

“But she's the prettiest fish, Seulgi. She's just so pretty.” Seungwan shook her head slowly “And I'm one of the really ugly ones. With two eyes on the same side of my face.”

Seulgi frowned at Seungwan's words. “That's not true, Wannie, you're really pretty. You're like a...” she paused for a moment. “I can't think of any pretty fish, they all just kind of look like fish, I guess. But you're definitely not an ugly fish.”

Seungwan laughed at Seulgi's words, then let her head fall on her shoulder. “Okay, fine, I'm not the ugliest. If you insist.” She stretched her arms to reach around Seulgi and pull her into a side-hug. “Seulgi, you're such a good and supportive friend. You really know how to make me feel better.” She couldn't see Seulgi's face, but she could imagine her eyebrows raising warily. “You know what would really make me feel happy right now?”

Seulgi paused for a moment, then sighed. “No, you can't have the bed.”

She pulled away with a pout. “I thought I was your best friend. But I see you value your own comfort more than our friendship. I never expected this from you.”

Seulgi's brow furrowed as she seemed to struggle with some inner conflict. Then she sighed in resignation and turned to Seungwan. Before she could open , Seungwan spoke up. “I'll take the couch, don't worry. You're too nice and you make me feel bad for taking advantage of it.” She rolled her eyes and settled further down the couch, reaching back for her pillow.

Seulgi quirked up an eyebrow and smirked. “Maybe that was my plan all along.”

Seungwan snorted. “No, it really wasn’t.”

(…)

It was Sunday afternoon and Seungwan was on her way home. After her initial dramatic mood, the night with Seulgi ended up being pretty fun. She wasn't sure how she'd got it into her head that a weekend with her best friend would be some kind of punishment. Instead, they watched a bad movie, had a few beers, shared some fun work stories and stayed up well past Seungwan's typical weekend bed-time. Not that she'd admit that she had one, or just how early it was.

Walking into her building, Seungwan remembered the awkward conversation she'd had there almost a week ago. Maybe Seulgi was right and this was just a rocky start. She just had to play her cards right and mention something that could lead to further contact. Maybe find a common interest, or some neighbourly activity they could do together. She took the stairs to the second floor and started looking for her keys in her bag. Maybe she could take Joohyun out to lunch or something to thank her for her cat-sitting. Yes, that would be perfect! This hadn't been a bad idea at all, she thought as she opened her apartment door.

This was the worst idea she'd ever had, she corrected as she walked into her apartment to find a strange woman sitting on her couch and watching TV. She had long dark hair and thick lips and the way her legs stretched out in front of her suggested that she was much taller than Seungwan. Not that that was a rare occurrence.

“Of course. I gave my apartment keys to a woman I barely know and she gave them to a robber and now she's robbing me.” Seungwan nodded as though it made perfect sense. She'd brought it on herself, honestly. “Yep, did not think that one through.”

The woman on the couch looked up at her, then back at the TV. She seemed bored, but that might just be what her face looked like naturally. “Hey,” she said flatly. “I'm not robbing your apartment.” She paused, then added “I did consider snooping through your stuff, though. But I didn't.”

On second glance, her clothes were a little colourful for a robbery. She was wearing jeans and a red top with a heart on it, not exactly discreet. Seungwan looked at her expectantly. The woman continued watching TV for a while, then turned to her with a curious “What?”

“Who are you?” Seungwan yelled at the stranger. “Why are you in my apartment?”

The woman turned down the volume on the TV, although she didn't seem to get the hint that she should turn it off altogether. And leave. “I'm Sooyoung, I came to feed your cat,” she explained, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. As an afterthought, she added “Joohyun said you have to hang around while he eats, so I was watching TV.”

It all sounded so logical. Sooyoung and Joohyun were friends, they’d probably met at some convention for beautiful people, and now Joohyun had delegated the task of watching her weird neighbour's cat to her younger friend. Seungwan stood at the entrance to the apartment for a moment, feeling like she'd lost her grip on reality just a little bit. Finally, she endeavoured to ask just one more question. “So, why are you here instead of Joohyun, the person that I asked to come here?”

“Oh, she's terrified of cats.” Seungwan gave up on trying to interpret the information coming out of Sooyoung's mouth. Sooyoung leaned back in the couch and looked at the TV. “Do you mind if I finish watching my show? Since I'm already here.”

“Yeah, sure, knock yourself out.” Giving up on the conversation with Sooyoung, Seungwan decided to go to the source. She dropped her bag and immediately walked back out, marching to the other side of the corridor to knock on Joohyun's door. She waited a moment in silence, then knocked again.

Finally, the door opened, revealing Joohyun. In her bra. She looked at Seungwan, seemingly unconcerned. “Oh, Seungwan, you're back.”

Seungwan's eyes travelled at record speed from Joohyun's face to her cleavage to the apartment door, where they rested stubbornly. She felt her cheeks growing red and cleared . “You're, um, not wearing a shirt or anything.”

From her peripheral vision, she saw Joohyun glance down. “Oh, I was ironing. It gets really hot,” she stated, like it explained why she would open the door like that.

“Right, so do you want to maybe put on a top or, uh, so I could stop pretending to be so interested in the door? What is that, oak?” She leaned closer to the door, feeling her face get hotter and hotter.

Joohyun gazed at it herself, then pondered distractedly “I don't know, I suppose it's the same material as yours.” She reached out to rub at it, like that would help decipher the mystery. Then she shrugged and moved out of sight, returning with a shirt. She put it on and turned back to Seungwan expectantly.

She slowly moved her eyes back to her neighbour. Then to a point vaguely to the right of her head. “You're not going to close it or... That's fine too, your body your choices.” She had the feeling the conversation would go a lot better if Joohyun's bra weren't showing but then again, she couldn't trust herself to sound human on the best of days. She cleared . “So, your friend is in my living room.”

“Oh yes, she's feeding Mr. Fluffers.”

“Yes, I got that part from her, but I was under the impression that you would be the one to do it. You know, the person I asked and whom I actually know.” Who knew, maybe she was the one making no sense. Maybe it was perfectly normal to send your friends to strangers' apartments and she'd just missed the memo.

“Right, that's because I'm slightly... Afraid of cats. Didn't Sooyoung tell you?”

“Yes, but I just assumed she was making fun of me, it sounds so...” Joohyun raised a defensive eyebrow. “Legitimate. Super legitimate and reasonable. But a little unexpected. You know, that you would agree to feed my cat under those circumstances. And not say anything.”

“It slipped my mind at the time.” Joohyun began to toy with the bottom of her shirt. Now if only she'd button it up, so Seungwan could get a grip on this conversation. Not that she wouldn't mind getting a grip on some other things. What were they talking about again? “Seungwan?” Joohyun looked vaguely concerned. “I apologize for sending my friend to your apartment. I didn't know what to do and I didn't want your cat to starve. I'm not sure how long cats live without food.”

“Probably more than one day,” Seungwan mused, then tried to pull herself together. She brought her gaze experimentally to Joohyun's face, locking eyes for only a moment before she was looking away again, dazed by those inscrutable depths. “It's, uh, it's fine though. Thanks anyway.”

Joohyun flashed her a quick smile, which could be genuine appreciation as easily as polite acknowledgment. They faced each other in silence for a moment. Seungwan started to wonder if she'd overstayed her welcome, which on second thought was a bit unfair considering she'd come to complain. Then she remembered she was supposed to use this conversation to get closer to Joohyun, not antagonize her. Great. When would she learn to accept dying alone with cats and stop all this getting to know people nonsense that she was clearly terrible at?

Joohyun leaned against the door frame, probably wondering whether the conversation was over and she could go back to ironing. Seungwan made a split-second decision. “So, you're afraid of cats, huh? Are you afraid of all animals? Or just... Cats?” It was a bad split-second decision. It was dumb, she sounded dumb, she needed to leave right away.

“All animals,” she replied simply, with a small nod. Yep, conversation over, time to leave.

“Cool, cool. I mean, not cool. You would probably prefer not to be afraid of animals and all. But you're not missing much.” Babbling Seungwan was bad Seungwan. She needed to leave and start working on faking her death. Would Seulgi run away with her or would she have to find a new best friend? They'd never be as good as Seulgi, Seungwan hated this plan already. “I guess you can't go to the zoo. But it's like, super expensive anyway so... Yeah.”

As Seungwan spoke, Joohyun focused somewhere behind her, then looked down. She quirked an eyebrow and slowly started buttoning up her shirt, finishing just as Seungwan lamely presented her opinion on zoos. Then she looked back up, squinting confusedly before her face lit up in understanding. She turned to Seungwan and politely asked “Did you have a good weekend?” So, that was pretty suspicious.

Seungwan turned around to see Sooyoung standing by her apartment door in the middle of a thumbs-up. She didn't seem embarrassed to have been caught and simply walked up to them. She stood next to Joohyun, patting her shoulder. “She forgets to be polite,” she offered as explanation. Joohyun elbowed her half-heartedly.

Standing next to them, Sooyoung really seemed as tall as Seungwan as expected, but she also seemed a lot younger, probably younger than her. Her bored expression had vanished and she was now wearing an amused smile.

“I... had a nice weekend, yes.” This was getting weird and she was a little bit afraid of Sooyoung, so she should probably just go home now. But Joohyun's face suddenly looked soft and relaxed, bringing into relief just how closed off and distant it had been when it was just the two of them. Now her eyes looked bright and animated, which curiously made them even more distracting. Joohyun looked at Sooyoung, obviously expecting her to carry on the conversation from there. This was less good.

“So, where did you go? Not too far out if you're already home, huh?” Yes, Sooyoung was dangerous and asked dangerous questions. Well, not so much dangerous as regular polite questions that people ask each other when they're making conversation. Not dangerous at all if Seungwan had actually gone anywhere. Reformulation: Sooyoung was dangerous for people who had invented flimsy excuses and never bothered to flesh them out. Like, for example, Seungwan the genius.

“Oh, you know, just...” She coughed into her hand and mumbled something indistinct while determinedly avoiding eye contact. “Then my friend had a thing that she had to do, so we left a little early.”

A complaining meow sounded from her apartment, causing Joohyun to flinch and step closer to Sooyoung, who giggled. Mr. Fluffers must have finished digesting his meal and was now indignant that his mother hadn't come to greet him. Seungwan inwardly thanked his spoiled . “I should go check on Mr. Fluffers, I think he missed me.”

She made her goodbyes and quickly retreated into the apartment before the two women had a chance to respond. Inside, she scooped Fluffers up into her arms and petted his soft belly as his purrs died out and he nibbled at her hand, clearly displeased. “Who saved his mommy from being exposed? It's my fluffy boy, yes it is!”