"You seem to be smiling a lot today Mieun-ah" Mandy asked when we were in the set of our surpised comeback music video.

"I am not" I denied

"Mandy unnie's right, you are so happy lately. You're so happy you didn't scold me for not washing my cup earlier today." Mya added teasing me.

"Is it because of someone who's name is Hwang Minhyun?" Jia asked wiggling her eyebrow at me

"Will you guys stop teasing me? How's your new dog Mya "I asked Mya trying to change the topic. 

"I can't wait for our shooting tommorrow oppa. I actually miss you now" Miru read outloud

"Kang Mieun you do know this is only a show right?" Jia asked turning seriously all of a suden.

 "I know that unnie. Minhyun and I want to have fun while were filming. I don't want our stay on the show to be forced" I explained

"Miru, Mya take your places. We need to shoot your scenes in the garden. Mieun, Jia and Mandy go to the dresser and retouch your make ups" Our manager told us from the other room. 

The unnies literally dragged me to our dressing room. I can feel it already, This will be a long talk. 

"I understand what you wanted to do and I'm happy you wanted to be genuine in front of your viewers but I know you very well Mieun. I'm afraid you'll fall for him but then he can't reciprocate what you feel" 

"Jinnie I know all of you care for me but I'm a big girl already. I am not the same Kang Mieun who trips on her own feet. I don't know what would happen in the future but what I know is that I am ready regardless of the outcome" I told her using the nickname I have for her. We met when we were young by accident. I had a stutter growing up so it's hard for me to pronounce Jia Unnie. It eventually shortened to Ji (Jia) Nnie (Unnie) and up until now, I still refer to her as jinnie. 

"Staying in this show with Minhyun is dangerous for you Eun-ah. You've like him for 6 years now, these skinships and the whole show itself would guarantee you a heartbreak. I can't watch you do that to yourself"Mandy explained

"Unnie what are you trying to say?" I asked her nervously. 

"Come on Eunnie don't dare deny it. You had your eyes set on him since day one and we all knew that. Don't you think we knew that you were always keeping tabs on him thru jonghyun? We know you so well Eunnie" Jia answered

"It's just a crush unnie. I don't love him" I defended myself

"Yet, You don't love him yet. Can you say the same thing after a month? Minhyun is a very nice and lovable person. Anyone would be too blind not to like him. Just be honest to us, what do you feel about him and stop with the 'I don't like him' excuse" Mandy asked

"I like him... I like like him. It was a crush at first because I really find him interesting. Maybe I do feel something for him but that's it for now. I wanted to get to know him more with this show. I know I might break my heart if he didn't love me at the end but I'm ready. I don't want to have regrets. I don't want the 'what if's' to follow me for the rest of my life"

"Fine. I won't tell you what to do, you are a smart girl but please take good care of your heart. I don't want you to get hurt" Mandy unnie said patting my shoulder. 

"Let me fix your make up for you." Jia unnie offered when I didn't give them any audible response.

I am happy my unnies deeply cared for me but at the same time I feel guilty. 

I feel bad for not telling them sooner that I know how i feel and it's not just a "like", I feel more than that. 

I don't know how it was possible to feel this way about a guy who is so near to me yet so far. 

I love him but of course I can't tell anyone that. 

It has been a secret I'm keeping for the past 6 years and only one person know. 

It wasn't my members, it was his leader.

Knowing my secret made Jonghyun and I closer. 

I know I am walking straight to a trap but at this moment I don't want to think about it. 

I just want to hold his hand and freely say 'I Love You' even if it is just for a show. 

Author's Note:

Hi! Thank you to the new subscribers!

I'm really thankful that you guys are reading my story. Let me know what you guys think. All of your thoughts gives me huge motivation to update. 

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