Jasmine smiles as she lifts both of her shoulders as a sign that she has no clue. She looks at Mrs Yvonne who looks confused but still calm. “To be really honest, I took my time to think about it and to check if I actually like him more than I am supposed to do especially when my cousins asked me the same thing. They thought it was weird and so not me to be close and comfortable around a male that is not them. I thought it was their childish jealousy but I was wrong. They were genuinely curious. At first, I was so confident denying but then, I gave it a thought. But mama, he is in a relationship right now. It would be a waste to fall in love with someone’s man. So I decided to take a step back and I failed to find the real truth. Up until this second, I don’t have the answer for that question and I am comfortable not to know about it.” She says being honest. Mrs Yvonne looks at her with denial written on her face. “Are you saying that you are actually avoiding yourself from digging the truth of your real feeling for him?” She asks her for a confirmation. Jasmine nods. She feels like she doesn’t need to deny it. That is the truth. “I know it is one of the most coward things I have ever done in my life but honestly I don’t want to treat him awkwardly in the future. I want it or not, I am going to meet him soon. I believe I will be acting differently if I am sure about my feeling towards him.” She lets her know what she has in mind. “Are you scared to find out that you actually love him more than just a brother or a friend?” She decides to ask this direct question to this clueless girl. Jasmine nods. She is being cool. She goes straight to admitting it. “To be fair, I don’t know. I have no clue. But I am scared to find out, that’s true.” She says being honest. Mrs Yvonne looks at her. She feels bad for her as she can guess that Jasmine has never experienced this before. “Jasmine, can I say something?” She asks for her permission. Jasmine nods again. “Don’t you think by finding out the truth you can move on with your life? It will ease your mind. You won’t stay in this uncomfortable space of not knowing but still feeling curious for not getting the truth. Why are you afraid of the result? If you really love him, so what? Loving someone is not a sin. Yes, he might be someone’s boyfriend right now. It won’t be an issue if you fall in love with him as long as you don’t do any stupid things like seducing him or flirting with him with an intention for him to leave that girl for you. I dare to say that there are thousands of girls out there are actually in love with him right now, his fans. Are they making something sinful? Nope! But building your own happiness on top of other’s misery doesn’t normally last forever. It is fine to love him from far. It is up to you to keep that feeling or to throw it away. And if you get it checked and find out that you actually don’t have any special feeling towards him as a man, you got nothing to worry about. Just continue the relationship you are currently in with him. He stays as your senior, brother and friend. You won’t lose anything. Fullstop!” She shares what she feels the best for her situation right now.

Mrs Yvonne’s words make Jasmine thinking. She is right. Finding the truth doesn’t seem to be a bad idea at all. It looks like it is actually a better option. She is normally not a coward girl. She usually goes for the brave option. This is so not her. She takes a deep breath as she is making her final decision right now. She closes her eyes before opening them slowly as she takes a look at her mama. She gives her a beautiful smile. Mrs Yvonne seems to know her decision. “Do you have any easy ways to find it out?” Jasmine asks as she doesn’t have any idea how to do it in a very not complicated way. Mrs Yvonne smiles this time. As she thought, Jasmine is this kind of girl who actually has no fear to find the truth. It is just that she doesn’t have the courage to do so as she is confused. And she is here to help this young lady. “I will be asking you some questions and just answer me as comfortable and honest as possible. Can you do that?” She asks Jasmine who seems to be really ready. She nods with sparks of fire in her eyes. She likes this view of her wanting to know the real deal here. “Here goes the first question. When he kissed you, did you feel like he was taking an advantage over you? Did you feel bad about the whole situation? I know you two kissed because of the commercial but still you two kissed.” She asks. Jasmine thinks for a while. She recalls every moment that she can think of before shaking her head. “I never felt that way. Actually mama, as an adult, we actually kissed a few times. The one you saw was the first one which was the only recorded version. An unexpected dare led to our second one. And guess what, I didn’t feel bad about it. And we kissed again with no solid reasons that same night when we were left alone. Though he was the one who initiated for that kiss, I didn’t say anything about it. I didn’t refuse. At first, I put all the blame on the alcohol. But I was actually totally sober that night as I didn’t drink even a drop of it and it amazed me how I still didn’t stop him from claiming my lips. I don’t know why being kissed by him seems fine to me.” She shares with her. Mrs Yvonne is surprised to hear that. It is very unexpected. “Did he drink that night? How much? Do you remember?” She asks her. Jasmine thinks for a while. “Just a bit, maybe a can of beer. I don’t really remember but I am very sure he didn’t drink that much that night.” She lets her know. Now it makes Mrs Yvonne doubting something. “Is he a good drinker? Or does he normally get drunk pretty easily?” She needs to know. Jasmine nods for the first question. “I believe so. He admits it and s approved it. You know how being a good drinker is a plus point for a man. I don’t understand why. But I never saw him intoxicated before even when his other members were already showing their drink habits after being drunk despite drinking a similar amount of alcohol.” She recalls what happened in the past. Mrs Yvonne nods. “He was actually as sober as you that night Jasmine.” She utters it out but she still doesn’t know why Kyungsoo actually did it. Jasmine just looks at her without saying much.

“Next question, what does he normally do when someone tries to get close to you? In this kind of situation, I want to know how he usually reacts.” Mrs Yvonne shoots the next quiz for Jasmine. She then gives it a thought. “If he is aware that I am uncomfortable, he comes forward to stop them from disturbing me. And to protect me, he would just take me away from that estranged situation. Most of the time, I don’t have to tell him. He does what he thinks the best to look after me. I guess it is just a part of him being responsible of me, his little sister.” She carefully and calmly answers. “Have you ever shared anything about boys with him? How does he react?” She asks another question. Jasmine gives her the answer. “I can say that he is very uncomfortable about it.” She replies. “Why do you think so?” Mrs Yvonne wants to know what she feels about it. “He doesn’t like to hear anything about it. I guess he can just care less about it. He is not interested as it gets nothing to do with him. It is not his problem.” She shares. Mrs Yvonne smiles as she listens to this clueless girl making her own judgement which seems far from the truth. “Let’s move to another question. How does he normally treat girls who like him? I know he treats his fans like friends. He is known to be someone who likes to friendzone his fans. Other than that?” She continues with the Q&A session. Jasmine is so into the Q&A session not knowing that Mrs Yvonne is also trying to find out what Kyungsoo is feeling towards her as she can already tell what Jasmine actually feels about him. “I don’t know much as it has only about a year since we become close. Generally he just treats girls respectfully unless they cross their boundaries. For those, he would teach them lesson in an indirect but understandable way. He doesn’t like to engage with negativity. Other than that, I am not really sure. I got nothing to say about his current girlfriend. I don’t know her. He never talks about her. Maybe it is his way to protect her. It is something he would normally do.” She answers. Mrs Yvonne listens to her well. “My final question for you is here. What did you feel when you first found out that he was in a relationship?” She asks the question that will lead to her actual inner feeling for Kyungsoo. For this question, Jasmine takes a longer time to respond. Mrs Yvonne waits. “I was dumbfounded for a few seconds before I tried to push myself to be happy for him. I was very disappointed with him for not sharing that big news with me. To find it out from someone else, I felt very much betrayed, not because he was mine but because I thought he cherished our relationship like I do. I was wrong about it. I was just a no body. He didn’t need to share his personal life with me. I know that but I was still mad at him. I was mad at myself for thinking too much no matter how much I tried to ignore it. It still bothered me for a very long time. When he started to be unreachable without any notice which never happened before, I felt used. He was so heartbroken when I left. He asked me to keep in touch. He asked me to contact him regularly. And I did because I didn’t want him to suffer from it. Now that I think about it, maybe I mistook it. I was mad but I didn’t realize that it was serious. I was angry but I still miss him. And that makes me even more furious at myself. Though I think that I am being ridiculous, I can’t help but to still think about him especially when I need someone to talk to. It is seriously exhausting. I don’t think this is familiar to me. I never experienced this before. What is this mama? What am I experiencing right now?” Jasmine is truly in need of answer.

Mrs Yvonne is not surprised at all to hear that from Jasmine. This young girl is experiencing a process that normally happens to ladies of her age but she doesn’t realize it. As an experienced one in life, she needs to present it to her in the simplest way possible so she can digest it well and lessen the percentage of confusion. She holds Jasmine’s hands right and left as she starts giving her the result from this Q&A session but before that she wants to ask her one final question. “I have one last question to ask you before giving you the answer you are curious about. Can I?” She asks Jasmine. She just nods. “What was your first impression of Kyungsoo when you met him for the first time as an adult? I believe it was way before you remember that he was actually a part of your childhood. Has it changed throughout the journey?” She wants to know if she was unknowingly interested in him in a natural way. Jasmine doesn’t take long. She gives her the answer almost immediately. “Kyungsoo oppa was a very serious man. That was my very first impression of him. It might sound weird but I really like that about him. When others were very playful, I could see a mature gentleman. He shone really brightly. As time goes, I got to know him better. And I found out that his seriousness has reasons. He knows what he wants and despite taking a different path from others, as long as he knows that he is not doing something illegal or wrong, he will stand up for his decision. He is very firm which I find very attractive. I like that trait in man, someone that can lead you in life type. He is very gentle, caring and very much understanding. I like how he treats me very respectfully wherever we are. He always makes sure that I am comfortable in my own skin. He also unknowingly reminds me that I am beautiful in and out without being someone that I am not. And I really appreciate that. He reminds me a lot of my uncles and cousins. I can also see my daddy in him which I never thought I would find in any males I encounter in this life. My daddy is my hero and he is definitely one in a million. I still remember how he always made sure to give mommy a first class treatment at home or somewhere else. It amazes me each time I find the resemblance between him and daddy especially in the way he treats me. He is very gentleman. I have always wanted that same aura male to be my partner because I believe he will match me well. I know it is hard to find one and when I realize that he has been in front of me all this while, it kind of scares me honestly. In terms of his appearance, I got nothing to comment. It never bothers me. For me, everyone is special. But I can’t deny that his look is extraordinary and with the beautiful heart he owns, it definitely makes him a dream guy for females. If I were to be in a committed relationship, I would like that person to be just like him. I have always believed that someone he loves and picks to be his loved one will be the luckiest girl on earth. Wait, why am I talking about this?” She suddenly questions herself as she feels like something has slipped from her own mouth. She feels bad. It seems like she has done something sinful when she is talking about someone’s man. If his girlfriend heard it, she wouldn’t like it. She feels ashamed of herself. She doesn’t know what to do.

“Relax, Jasmine. You’re not doing anything wrong. Guess what? I think I know why. But you have all the freedom to agree and disagree because by the end of the day, you know yourself better. I can only share what I can get from this whole situation. Jasmine, your worries brought me to one and only conclusion.” She first says that to Jasmine as the introduction. Jasmine is listening to it well as she nods. “From my observation, actually you have fallen in love with Kyungsoo without you realize it long ago. Even if you sometimes do, you keep on denying because you are not ready to involve yourself in a committed relationship. You are aware that you have so many responsibilities lie on both of your shoulders for you to actually care about being in love. I am not saying it is a bad thing because you know yourself the best. But Jas