“There’s something that I need to tell you.”

 

Sungjin’s words have been replaying in his mind like a broken record. They’ve set a time to meet on the next day and Wonpil is already dreading it tremendously. He also regrets saying the same thing. Will he have the courage to tell the truth? What about Jae, shouldn’t he tell him about this first? But he’s doing it for Jae’s sake more than anything. He’s the one who’s put him in this situation and he’s the one who will get him out of it. Wonpil has promised himself that. Plus, Jae looks miserable enough, he doesn’t need to make it worse for him. 

 

Okay, he takes that back. Since they’ve came back, Jae has been sitting on his bed, grinning like an idiot while texting. Wonpil is done questioning his mood swings and weird behavior. 

 

“Did you at least change the bed sheets?” he asks in irritation. Jae has taken advantage of his absence to change the room’s layout and make a double bed. The last thing Wonpil will do is sleep in a bed contaminated with Jae’s germs. 

The taller hums, so he takes it as a ‘yes’ and allows for his body to lay down. It was a long day and he’s exhausted, still, he’s in too much distress to sleep. This is worse than the exams’ stress. 

He tries to do a social media checkup to distract himself, but Jae’s occasional giggles and chuckles are so hard to ignore. 

 

“What are you smiling at? Is it Sungjin?”

 

“Nah, it’s just Brian being an idiot.”

 

Although he did reply, Jae didn’t spare him a single look and is just typing away on his phone, his grin never flattering. Wasn’t he upset just a few hours ago? 

Wonpil uses the new close proximity of their beds to kick Jae’s side. It works at getting a proper reaction this time.

 

“OW WHAT THE HELL DUDE!!”

 

“I finally have your attention. Thank you.” 

 

Jae dramatically rolls his eyes, “What do you want Wonpil?”

 

“I want answers, that’s what I want,” he firmly demands, causing his friend to visibly panic. Did he really think he’ll let it go so easily? Where did all of his Wonpil-knowledge go? 

 

“What question do you want to answer first; why did you call the other day? or why were you upset today? or maybe you can start by telling me what’s going on between you and Brian?”

 

He lists the questions he’s the most curious about. Apparently, the last question seems to pull a string. 

“W-what do you m-mean?” Jae stutters, and Wonpil rolls his eyes.

 

“When will you ever learn that you can never hide anything from me? You thought that I really won’t notice?” 

 

“Wonpil, it’s nothi-”

 

“Don’t, hyung, just don’t,” he stops him before he starts uttering any lies. Shameful, Jae lowers his gaze.

 

Deciding that it’s better to cut straight to the point, Wonpil doesn’t hesitate to ask, “Do you like Brian?” 

 

As expected, Jae’s head whips up in a second. And if his reaction wasn’t a clear answer, then his whispered, “H-how did you know?” is more than enough.

 

“Please, hyung, you’re so obvious,” Wonpil states, causing another alarmed look on Jae’s face, so he quickly adds, “for me I mean. Since I’m your best friend,” he reassures, even though he’s not being one hundred sincere about it. He’s sure as hell Dowoon and Sungjin have noticed the way Jae looks at Brian. But that didn’t matter, as long as Brian himself didn’t notice. That guy is so damn oblivious!

 

“So, are you going to tell me?” he asks this time softly, putting a comforting hand on Jae’s knee. Now that he’s got a confirmation for his doubts, he can only guess how disoriented Jae was when he’s realized his own feelings, especially since he wasn’t there to help him through it.

 

There’s a moment of hesitation before Jae starts talking, and he doesn’t stop for almost an hour. He confesses how confusing it was at first, how hard it was to admit and to accept his feelings toward Brian. 

 

“Let me guess, you didn’t want to tell me because you think he likes me, right?” it’s not even a question, Jae nods nevertheless, pouting.

 

“He does like you. It’s so obvious,” Jae ends it with a dry chuckle. He doesn’t look amused either. 

 

“Listen Jae-”

 

“Wonpil I’m okay. I can handle this much, so don’t worry.”

 

Wonpil purses his lips together so that he won’t say anything rushed. For now, he’ll pretend to believe Jae and won’t interfere. However, if those two keep their oblivion game, he swears he’s going to step in. 

 

“What about Sungjin though? Where did all that love go to?” he asks teasingly, trying to shift the mood. 

 

Jae’s smile still displays his fondness for Sungjin. Yet, it’s incomparable to those smiles he’s seen him give Brian. Wonpil wonders how he’s never noticed the difference until now.

 

“Sungjin is an amazing guy and we had great time together, but-” Jae stops mid sentence, struggling to find the right words.

 

“But he’s not Brian?” Wonpil finishes for him, and Jae nods with a sigh, bit his smile and shoulders dropping down.

 

“Everything is going to be fine,” Wonpil promises, and he really means it. He’ll do anything in his power to make everything fine again.

 

 

 

 

- 

 

 

 

 

“How do you like the video?” Sungjin asks over the video chat, sounding and looking excited. Brian can’t blame him. He’s feeling the same at the moment.

Earlier that day, Sungjin has dropped a lyrics video for his new song -another one produced by Brian- and now he’s calling to ask for his feedback, like he always do.

 

“It’s really well done this time, I like it,” Brian replies, busy scrolling through the comments, “and the fans seems to think so as well. They’re loving it!” He exclaims, happy about the positive reactions of the fans, “There’s already too many views and likes as well!” 

 

“Well, it all goes back to you, doesn’t it?” Gratefulness is written all over Sungjin’s face, which makes Brian more emotional than he already is.

 

“But you still didn’t tell me what inspired you to write this song. Everyone seems to notice how different it is from our previous ones,” Sungjin fixes him with a suspicious look, “Usually, you’re not this secretive. Are you hiding something from me?” 

 

“What?” Brian starts to panic. He didn’t intend to hide anything from his best friend, but he didn’t want to tell him as well, “Of course not! Why would you think so?” he laughs uncomfortably, afraid he’s got caught. Sungjin doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t get the chance to call Brian for his lie since they get interrupted by Jaebum entering the room.

 

“Is that Sungjin hyung?” he asks as soon as he sees his face on the phone’s screen, “Congrats on the new song it’s amazing dude!” he gives him two thumbs up, successfully distracting him from further questioning Brian. 

The three of them keep chatting for a while before he gets an upcoming call. It’s from Jae.

“Hyung I have to go, talk to you later!” he ends the call abruptly, ignoring the older’s protests, just to answer the call.

 

“Hey, wassup,” he casually greets, although he’s buzzing with excitement. However, his smile falls immediately when he hears a sniffle and a weak, “Bribri,” from the other end of line. 

 

He’s on his feet in a heartbeat, alarmed and concerned, “What’s wrong? Are you crying? is everything okay? where are you now? Are you hurt?” he bombards him with questions, ready to fly to wherever Jae is at the moment.

 

“I-in my room,” is all he can make out between the sobs.

 

“I’m coming.” 

 

Brian bolts out, leaving behind a confused Jaebum. He climbs up the stairs in record time, and as soon as he reaches Jae’s room, he opens the door without even knocking.

 

“Jaehyung what’s going on are you ok-”

 

He doesn’t finish his sentence, nor makes more than three steps inside the room, taking in the situation in front of him is. First, there’s Wonpil sitting at one of the desks, playing a video game, and then, there’s Jae, sitting on his bed with his laptop, surrounded by used tissues, eyes and nose red due to crying. Both guys seems surprised by his sudden barging in, but he’s no less confused than them.

 

“He was crying over the phone,” he says to Wonpil while pointing at Jae, hoping that’s enough explanation for his weird entrance. Wonpil shrugs before going back to his game, totally unbothered by his presence, nor his weeping roommate. 

 

Brian carefully walks to Jae, “Are you okay?” he asks softly, sitting by his side, a comforting hand finding its place on the taller’s back.

At first, Jae doesn’t react, still recovering from Brian’s grand entrance, but he then shakes his head and he’s crying again. Brian’s hand starts running up and down his back, in hope of bringing him any type of comfort.

 

“Are you going to tell me why are you crying?” although he’s desperate to know the reason behind Jae’s tears, he tries to be as considerate as possible. He can kill whoever made Jae cry later. 

 

Wonpil scoffs, “He’s just being a drama queen. Don’t mind him.” 

 

“It’s just-.. This is so … I’m- I don’t know-” Jae points to his laptop, incapable of forming a coherent sentence at the moment, and when Brian takes a look at the screen, he’s torn between two opposite reactions; strangling Jae or hugging him. 

 

“Is this why you’re crying?!!!” he cries in disbelief -and relief-,“I can’t believe I ran all the way here because of this!”

 

Jae smacks him hardly on the back of his head, “What’s wrong with this? The song is so beautiful and emotional and just perfect, okay!”

 

“There he goes again,” Wonpil huffs, seemingly sick of Jae’s rant, “He’s been listening to it over and over and crying all the same,” he mumbles.

 

“Do you really like it that much?” Brian asks a pouting Jae, and the taller’s eyes lights up at the question.

 

“Do I really like it?! Bri did you even listen to it?”

 

‘Uh, I wrote it?’ Brian internally answers. He can’t risk revealing such a detail right now. Jaehyung will probably faint.

 

“It’s so comforting and heart warming. This is the kind of songs that you need to listen to when you’re having a hard time,” his voice gets a notch lower when he adds, “I need this kind of songs in my life, especially right now.”

 

“I know,” Brian says understandingly. He knows more than anyone else all the the older has went through recently. Hell, watching Jae struggle on daily basis was Brian’s main inspiration in the first place. He wanted to write a song that brought comfort to whoever listens to it. So hearing that it served its purpose sends a wave of relief into Brian’s heart. Jae’s feedback means a lot to him, he can even go as far as saying it’s the most important one -for this song of course.

 

“What would you do when Sungjin sings it live?” Wonpil questions, and that’s enough to set Jae on again.

 

“Oh don’t get me started on Sungjin’s voice! It will only make me cry more. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it,” he exclaims, voice dreamy and eyes glazed. 

 

And Brian doesn’t like it. 

 

He can’t believe he’s getting grumpy over this, but he really wants to get all the credits for this song. From Jae, he means. He shifts uncomfortably in his place, trying to kick the ugly feeling away. 

Staring at Jae as he rewatches the video, crying once more, does make the feeling vanish. There’s something about him in that state that makes Brian’s heart swell in his chest. His hand keeps comforting the taller, as if he’s trying to comfort him about all of his recent struggles and not just the song. 

 

It takes Brian two replays of the video to realize that he’s been staring too much. It doesn’t help that he has that stupid fond smile on his lips. Not to be caught, he diverts his gaze, only to find Wonpil looking at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes. To be very honest, he almost forgot about his presence. 

Wonpil grins at him knowingly and it confuses him. It’s as if he knows one of Brian’s deepest secrets but he’s reassuring him the he won’t tell anyone.

 

Brian is sure he has nothing to hide. He’s an open book after all. 

 

An open book that anyone can read, but not himself.

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

“Can you please stop fidgeting? You’re stressing me out!” 

 

If Wonpil didn’t mention it, Jae wouldn’t have noticed his restless jumping from a leg to another. 

 

“Sorry,” he forces himself to stand steadily despite his nervousness. 

 

Sungjin has invited them to his ‘small Christmas hangout’ -that’s what he’s called it- and no matter how much Jae wanted to decline at first, he couldn’t do it. Plus, Wonpil wanted to come so badly. So here they are, at Sungjin’s doorstep on Christmas day- late afternoon to be more exact- not knowing what awaits them on the other side of the door.  

 

Jae is not nervous because of Sungjin -or maybe a little, but for a different reason than the usual oh-my-god-he’s-my-crush. He’s still aware that the mess between them still needs solving and he’s planning to come clean as soon as possible. Sungjin doesn’t deserve being lied to for this long. 

Moving to Brian, things between them have gone back to normal after his birthday. They still have the internship together, and they always talk or meet outside. Jae even went Christmas shopping with him and Sungjin. That day, he became more certain about who he has in his heart, and it definitely wasn’t Sungjin. 

Wonpil is his best friend and Dowoon has been a constant visitor in the last few days. 

Then why is Jae so stressed right now? 

 

The problem is that as much as he enjoys everyone’s company, Jae fears their gatherings. Meeting them individually isn’t the same as having everyone together in the same room. This means Jae has to witness Brian giving heart eyes to Wonpil once more, has to watch him flirt once more. 

Inhaling deeply, he wishes Brian has learned how to be less obvious. 

 

Wonpil gives him one last worried glance before pressing the door bell. Not a minute pass before an excited Dowoon opens the door for them, his face lightening up as soon as he sees them. 

 

“Jae hyung! Wonpil Hyung!” he gives them each a brief hug, “Come in Come in!” 

 

They take their shoes and coats off before following him inside of the apartment. Surprisingly, Jae doesn’t feel any awkwardness coming inside. The aura and smell of the place is so welcoming. There’s few decorations as well as a small decorated Christmas tree.

Sungjin is chopping vegetables on the kitchen’s counter while something is boiling on the stove, which explains the smell. He breaks into a happy smile as soon as he sees them, “Jae ,Wonpil, merry Christmas guys!” 

 

“Merry Christmas Sungjin hyung!” Wonpil literally jumps on the guy and hugs him. Sungjin whimpers in surprise but hugs him back nevertheless. The sight warms Jae’s heart. Those two really look good together. 

 

“Merry Christmas Sungjin,” Jae opts for a brief side hug, deciding that Sungjin had enough surprises for now.

 

“What are you cooking hyung?” Wonpil peeks at the big pot on the stove curiously, “It smells heavenly!”

 

“It’s a secret family recipe, can’t tell you,” and with that, he pushes him softly to the side to dump a variety of vegetables inside of it. Wonpil pouts dejected and crosses his arms, “You’re so mean hyung!” 

 

His sulking doesn’t last as he’s distracted by Dwooon’s question, “Did you bring your PS4?” 

 

“Yes it’s in the backpack,” he points to where he’s dumped the said item as soon as he came inside, “We brought some snacks as well, and this,” he opens the second bag and takes out the wine bottle, “My sister gave it to me last time I went home,” he puts the bottle and bag on the counter, then goes to help Dowoon in turning the living room into a gaming station. 

 

“Where are the others?” Jae asks distractingly, noticing the emptiness of the house. He remembers Sungjin saying he’s inviting his other friends. Maybe it’s still early? 

 

Sungjin sighs, “Well, Mark’s parents came to pay their son a surprise visit, and Jackson is staying with them. Jinyoung said he has a family emergency and Jaebum was invited to spend the day with his girlfriend’s family. So it’s just us today.”

 

Jae nods apprehensively, although itching to ask for a certain someone -the one he’s asked the question for in the first place. 

 

The doorbell rings and Dowoon runs to open it in a heartbeat. Jae hears the door opens and then the younger’s excited squeak, “Brian hyung!” followed by a happy laugh “Merry Christmas Dowoonie”. 

Jae can already feel his heart leaping in his chest, and that’s only by the sound of Brian’s laugh. They’ve practically spent the whole previous day together, yet Jae misses him. 

 

“Sorry for being late. I spent the night talking with my family and I overslept,” he apologizes to Dowoon, who’s latched to his side. 

 

“It’s okay hyung. Wonpil hyung and Jae hyung are already here,” he adds grinning. 

 

At the mention of their names -or maybe just Wonpil’s?- Brian scans the room with his eyes, beaming as soon as he spots Wonpil walking to him. Jae watches as they greet each other, his best friend refraining from hugging Brian too tightly or for so long. 

Hopefully, Brian doesn’t look as flustered as he usually get around him. It seems that he’s finally learned how to be discreet. 

 

He then turns around, “But where’s Ja- Oh there you are!” 

 

Jae doesn’t realize what’s happening until Brian’s arms are encircled around him, a cheerful “Merry Christmas Jaehyung,” said next to his ear. This is the second time Brian surprises him with a hug in the span  of a week. He’s not complaining though, no matter how much it exhausts his heart.

To his misery- or great pleasure- Brian doesn’t let go as quickly as last time. Instead, he seems to be waiting for his reaction. So, Jae relaxes a little bit and loosely warps his arms around the other’s waist, mumbling a “Merry Christmas to you too”. 

He makes sure to inhale as much as possible from Brian’s scent before their hug ends. He’s not even sure how long it lasted, maybe time drags when he’s in such situations, or maybe it really did last longer than it should. 

 

Brian acts as if nothing has happened, attention snatched instantly by the fancy bottle of wine on the counter, but Jae, he feels like he’s on fire. Forget about his face- which by now should be crimson red- every part of his body that came in contact with Brian is tingling, and it’s about to drive him nuts. 

He inspects his surroundings, making sure that the rest didn’t give what just happened as much attention as he did. Sungjin is stirring the boiling soup, although there’s a small smile tugging on his lips that Jae tries his best to ignore. He then turns to the other two, and regrets it instantly.

Dowoon and Wonpil are the worst kind of embarrassing friends. They’re both not so discreetly grinning at him, Wonpil even winks at him before he nudges Dowoon, and they go back to their task, whispering then giggling to each other. 

 

Kill me now!

 

“Oh my god this is so good! Where did you buy it?” Brian’s delighted cry catches everyone’s attention. He’s practically hugging the cookies’ jar Jae brought as he’s busy stuffing his face with cookies. He munches it with a blissful moan, intensifying Jae’s blush.

 

“Jae made those,” Wonpil announces joyfully and he almost strangles him. 

Maybe the reaction he gets from Brian is worth it though. He turns to him, pleasantly surprised, eyes literally shining. Jae loses count of the beats his heart skips this time.

 

“It’s a recipe I found on Youtube,” he explains shyly.

 

“You’re definitely teaching me how to make these!” 

 

Jae chuckles at Brian’s determination, “Are you sure you can handle the complexity of it though?” he teases, to which the other pouts, but still stuffs two other cookies into his mouth. It takes all of Jae’s willpower not to pinch his cheeks, or kiss his lips.  

 

Sungjin forcefully snatches the jar from Brian’s arm when he doesn’t stop eating. The younger releases a protesting whine and mumbles something incomprehensible, mouth full.

 

“Wait till after dinner, and this is for all of us, not just you!” Sungjin scolds, making him pout more, and Jae’s heart can’t handle it anymore.

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll bake more for you,” he whispers to Brian, gaining another dazzling smile in return and something close to a “thank you”. 

 

Sungjin seems to have heard him though, “Stop spoiling him!” 

 

“I’ll give you some, don’t worry hyung,” Brian winks to Sungjin. The latter just rolls his eyes, smiling nevertheless.

 

“Just go set the table. Dinner is almost ready.”

 

Jae helps Brian set the table, loving how domestic it feels. Maybe he’s not home, nor spending Christmas with his family like he used to do since young, but this is not bad. Spending it with this bunch is actually joyful. It feels homy, having Sungjin cooking for them, the younger two playing and singing some Christmas carols, him setting the table with Brian, the decoration and the tree, the company. Jae likes everything about this Holiday. 

Sungjin turns out to be a decent cook, as the food is as delicious as it smells and it reminds him of Wonpil’s mother cooking. Definitely not like his mother’s, but it still fills his heart as much was it filled his stomach. 

During their delightful meal, Jae thinks that this night is going better than he’s expected, way better than Brian birthday’s dinner. 

 

Oh wait, he’s forgot about his ability to jinx things. It’s too early to say that anyways.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

After dinner, Brian helps Jae doing the dishes while the other three clean the dining table. There’s a comfortable silence between them, the friendly banter going in the living room serving as a background noise. Brian doesn’t mind the lack of conversation between him and Jae this time, not when the older is radiating with joy. Seeing him this happy makes Brian happy as well. It’s as simple as that, there’s no need to overthink it.  

 

“Thank you for inviting me over,” Jae speaks suddenly. If his tone wasn’t that tender, it would’ve startled the out of Brian, “I seriously didn’t want to spend Christmas in my room doing nothing,” he confesses.

 

Brian softens when he hears a hint of sadness in the other’s voice. He’s never thought of things from the Jae’s perspective, how hard it must be for him to be away from his family.

 

“Do you miss home?” Brian asks before he can stop himself. Jae stops scrubbing momentarily, releasing a small sigh.

 

Great now you made him sad!

 

Brian is mentally kicking himself for being so thoughtless when he finally gets a reply.

 

“Of course I do, especially during this time of the year,” Jae alternates between scrubbing and looking at Brian while speaking, “I’ve never spent Christmas away from them, that’s until I came here. Last year I spent it at Wonpil’s. His family tried their best to celebrate it like my family does. It was so heartwarming,” the memory brings an affectionate smile on Jae’s lips.

 

“I’m glad you have them,” Brian genuinely says.

 

“Yeah, me too,” Jae stops for a second before adding, “I’m also glad that I have you.”

 

If Brian’s heart does that weird thing it’s been doing lately, he completely ignores it. Jae surely didn’t mean just him. This ‘you’ obviously included all of his friends. 

 

“W-well, that’s what friends do, right?” he tries to give his best grin to hide his stutter and his shyness. Jae’s expression falls for a fraction- it was too fast Brian thinks he’ just imagined it- before he smiles back at him. 

 

There’s another silence afterwards as they go back to their tasks, Jae scrubbing and Brian rinsing. But then the taller starts murmuring a very familiar melody that Brian recognizes yet can’t exactly remember. The murmuring turns into fierce singing as Jae waits for him to remember and start singing along, a look of disbelief on his face. Brian is as frustrated, he sure as hell know the song! 

 

“I see a little silhouetto of a man-”

 

Of course!! Bohemian Rhapsody!! How can I forget??!

 

Without missing a beat he sings the next part, even Jae has stopped singing, “Scaramouch, Scaramouch will you do the Fandango!” 

“Thunderbolt and lightening,”

“Very very frightening me!” 

“Gallileo!”

“Gallileo!”

 

Too excited that he’s finally remembered the song, Brian doesn’t miss a single high note nor a background sound. Both their voices get louder as they go through every single twist of the song, dishes long forgotten, except for the two spoons they’re using as mics. They’re facing each other, doing some exaggerated moves and singing whole heartedly, still butchering the song whatsoever.

 

When the final note hits, they’re both breathless but still grinning like idiots. Jae’s whole face is red and he’s about to say something when a slow clap at the kitchen’s entrance interrupts him. Turning around, they find Sungjin, Wonpil and Dowoon starring at them dumbfounded. Sungjin is holding his phone- he high probably has filmed them-, while the youngest is the one hesitantly clapping. 

 

Brian has literally forgot they were not alone. If he blushes, it’s because of the embarrassment more than anything else. 

 

“That was…. impressive?” Sungjin comments, struggling to find the right words to describe their prompt performance. 

 

“Yes, impressive,” Wonpil echoes back, still recovering from what he’s just seen. 

 

Jae snorts, “Well I’m glad you found our singing impressive, but the show ends here, now go back to your game and let us finish the dishes, will you?” 

 

Surprisingly, they comply without much teasing, excluding Wonpil’s mumbled “Just say you want to be alone with Brian,” that makes heat rise into the said guy’s face. 

That’s definitely not what Jae’s meant just now, right? He just wants to finish washing the dishes. That has to be it. 

Hopefully, not much is left, so they finish fast and join the other’s in the living room, no more words exchanged between them during those few minutes. 

Even though they just ate dinner, the coffee table in the living room is littered with snacks and cans of beer as they indulge themselves into video games. This is definitely a new way to spend Christmas. Jae likes it all the same.

 

After few hours of gaming, they get tired out by their own competitiveness, so they decide to watch ‘Home Alone’ to bring back the Christmas spirit. 

While everyone’s busy setting the movie or taking a bathroom break, Brian sneaks into the kitchen to get the cookies jar and downs another quarter of it before anyone takes notice.

 

“You’re going to have a stomachache if you keep eating it like that,” Jae comments in amusement when he catches sight of him. 

 

“Worth it,” Brian replies between bites, a sheepish grin on his lips, “And you’re still baking more for me.”

 

The taller shakes his head in disbelief.

 

“I’m starting to believe you’ve put some drug inside of those cookies. You’ve got Brian hooked!” Sungjin suddenly walks in, snatching the almost empty jar from him. Again.

 

“Or maybe they’re just too good?” Brian suggests, glaring at Sungjin.  

 

The latter curiously eats one slowly but his face literally glows up when the taste hits him. He gives Jae two thumbs up as he eats another one.

 

“SEE! My addiction is justified. Now give it back!” Brian whines, wanting his cookies back. 

 

“Okay I get why you love it so much, but that doesn’t mean I’ll let you eat more of it,” Sungjin says sternly, “Now go get us more blankets and pillows from Dowoon’s room.”

 

“FINE!” just like a teenager going through puberty, Brian stomps to the younger’s room, complying but not without throwing a fuss.

 

“I said I’ll bake more for you,” he doesn’t notice that Jae has followed him, “Whenever you want and as much as you want.”

 

Brian cheers up immediately, “Really?” 

 

Jae nods, beaming, “That’s a promise from me to you.”

 

“Thanks hyung! You’re the best!” he almost hugs the taller again, but refrains, remembering how shocked Jae got in the two times he’s hugged him. Maybe he’s not a big fan of physical contact?

 

“You’re so cute,” Jae coos at him, his hand ruffling his hair like he’s some kid. 

 

Okay, he takes that back. Jae won’t do that if he doesn’t like too much skin ship. The gesture itself, no matter how innocent it is, feels so intimate for Brian. 

The moment seems to drag on and Jae’s hand is literally caressing his hair now, soothing the mess it just created. Brian finds himself basking in the feeling of Jae’s long fingers brushing his hair. He unconsciously tilts his head to the side, encouraging Jae to keep doing whatever he’s doing. 

 

He notices the shift in Jae’s expression, his playful grin turning into a soft smile and his gaze switcheing into a loving one. Brian can physically feel the change in the atmosphere and is suddenly aware of the distance -or lack of it- between them. His heart is jumping in his chest and his eyes are refusing to look anywhere but into Jae’s. Even if he wants to move now, he’s sure his body won’t listen. 

So he stays still, even when Jae’s hand falls to cheek, even when their faces are so close that he can feel the taller’s breath hitting his skin. 

 

There’s a sense of Deja vu, like that time back in Jae’s room when they were so close, maybe even closer than this, but they’re getting there. Brian doesn’t question who’s inching closer to the other. Maybe both? 

 

His eyes unconsciously flutter closed when he sees Jae’s doing the same, he’s even stopped breathing for a few seconds, afraid anything as simple as an inhale of air would ruin the moment. If he stops function those few seconds, every sense and cell in his body anticipating what to come, then the sensation of Jae’s lips on his is definitely worth it. 

They’re as soft as they look -not that he’s ever wondered about that- they’re the kind of lips that were made for kissing, and Brian has concluded that by just a soft innocent kiss, just lips on lips.

 

So usually in such situation- having your friend, that you don’t know if they have feeling for you or not, kiss you, while your crush is in the next room- one should panic and pull away before things escalate. However, in Brian’s case, he panics because Jae ends the kiss so quickly. He can’t do that to him! Brian needs a proper kiss now that he’s got a taste of such luscious lips. 

That’s why, before Jae could pull away properly, Brian uses his hands to keep him in place, as he pushes his lips back onto Jae’s. There’s a surprised whimper from the taller that he barely registers as he kisses him hard and passionately, in a way only lovers do. 

To his greatest pleasure, Jae kisses back with the same fervor. He uses both of his hands to cup Brian’s face so he can take better control over the kiss, while Brian tiptoes a little bit so he can have a better angle, his arms encircling around Jae’s neck. 

After minutes of passionate kissing, his lungs start to burn with the need for air, but Brian refuses to end the kiss so soon. He’s sure even if they kiss for hours, he’ll still have a hard time detaching himself from Jae’s lips, or Jae’s body. 

Everything about this moment feels so surreal he’s starting to think he’s dreaming. Maybe he’ll wake up any minute now?

 

“The movie is starting where the hell did you guys go?”

 

Sungjin yelling from outside the room is what brings them back to reality. They both jump away realizing what they’ve just done. This time, there’s a good distance between them, as they stare at each other in pure terror and fear, in Jae’s case, and shock, in Brian’s case. 

With the lack of a better reaction, Brian points to the closet, stuttering lamely “W-we should get the b-blankets,” before opening it, hastily taking the first one he finds and bolting out of the room, leaving a still frozen Jae inside. 

 

Brian has just ran away from one of the most confusing situations in his life, only to face a more confusing one. One that makes him unconsciously drop the blanket he’s holding to the ground.

 

From the spot he stops at in the living room, he has a good view of a part of the kitchen- of Sungjin and Wonpil in the kitchen to be more specific. They’re alone together, Dowoon is nowhere to be seen, and they’re standing in a very intimate position. Wonpil is trapped between the kitchen’s counter and Sungjin’s body, and they’re talking in hushed voices. 

Sungjin says something that makes Wonpil blush before he drops a peck on the side of his lips bashfully, and Sungjin kisses his nose in return. 

 

Brian loses it. Completely.

 

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?” he yells, not caring how angry he just sounded, because he is angry. 

 

There’s panic on both of their faces as they turn to him, Sungjin saying his name, but nothing more. There can’t be any other explanation to what Brian has just witnessed other than the obvious one. He’s not going to believe whatever lie or excuse his best friend will come with.

 

“How can you do this to me?” 

 

Betrayed is an understatement for what he’s currently feeling, and he makes sure it shows on his face and in his tone.

 

“Brian let me explain first,” Sungjin takes a tentative step in his direction, so he takes one backwards, although he’s in the other side of the room. He can feel Jae’s presence looming behind him. 

 

It feels like he’s trapped between two dilemmas. Literally and figuratively.

 

“What’s there to explain?! You know very well that I like him and you go on behind my back and-” Brian can’t find the right words to describe what has just happened between the two. They kind of kissed, are they dating? They have to be, they looked too familiar with the gesture not to be. He can’t believe Sungjin has done that to him!

 

“I trusted you…” he says weakly, his throat closing on him. He’s feeling too emotional to formulate more words.

 

“Hyung,” he hears Dowoon’s concerned voice by his side, but he can’t tear his eyes from Sungjin’s. He wants him to see how much he’s hurt him. He wants him to feel guilty about it.

 

“Brian hyung listen,” Wonpil interferes when Sungjin doesn’t try to explain himself more, “Sungjin has told me everything.”

 

What? Is he talking about-

 

“Yes, I know that it was you texting me all this time, not him,” Wonpil confirms his doubts right away. Suddenly everything feels way worse. Wonpil knew and he still chose Sungjin? Why? 

 

Brian hears a small “what?” from Jae, but he doesn’t give it much thoughts. That until Wonpil speaks again.

 

“But the one you’ve been talking to all this time is not me either. It’s Jae.”

 

What the actual ?

 

After taking a good moment to process Wonpil’s big revelation, he whips his whole body around to look at Jae, hoping the latter will deny it. But Jae doesn’t. He’s just looking as shocked as Brian at the moment. He opens his mouth to say something but then closes it again. 

 

“You too? You’ve been playing me all this time as well?” 

 

Brian is starting to hope for this to be a prank or something. He doesn’t think he can handle this amount of betrayal. Jae looks offended by the accusation but he still doesn’t utter a word, doesn’t deny it.

 

“Jae doesn’t know about it. Only I and Sungjin know the whole truth,” Wonpil defends his best friend. Brian doesn’t believe him. 

 

“That doesn’t change the fact he’s played me!” 

 

Jae visibly winces at his harsh tone, but it seems to finally snaps him out of his shock, “I didn’t play you! You still as guilty as me in this, you know,” he retorts, a hint of irritation in his tone.

 

“HAH! Don’t you dare compare our situations!”

 

“And why not? It’s true that I’ve been pretending to be Wonpil, but I’ve thought I’ve been texting with Sungjin all this time as well! ” he strongly defends himself.

 

“Yeah but it’s still not the same!” Brian’s voice is getting angrier and louder, “I’ve only done it because I really like Wonpil, while all you got is a celebrity crush. That’s incomparable.”

 

Jae seems to be getting angrier the more he hears him talk, he even rolls his eyes before speaking, “Stop victimizing yourself, will you? And if you really like Wonpil, why did you kiss me just now?”

 

Too soon. Jae’s asking that question too soon. He should give Brian a chance to think, to find an answer. It’s impossible to do so now. 

 

“That’s- because- because-…” he tries to come with an excuse, or a lie, but he doesn’t find any. Sungjin and Wonpil’s questioning eyes are only wrecking him more. 

 

this! 

 

“You kissed me first! What does that say about you and your love, huh?” he demands, because he shouldn’t be the only one getting those looks. 

 

“I only kissed you because I love you, you bastar-”

 

Too late. Jae stops talking too late. Everyone’s heard his confession. Brian has heard his confession. And how is he supposed to react to that? to everything that’s happening? 

There’s a deafening silence during the moments following Jae dropping his bomb. They all stay frozen, waiting for anyone to react with bated breath, even Jae, who looks like he wants to vanish into thin air more than anything else. 

 

If it were under any other circumstances, Brian would’ve apologetically rejected him, or given him a chance if Wonpil wasn’t in the picture. But the last few minutes have been a rollercoaster of surprises and Brian has lost all rationality. So he does something so unlike him. Something cruel. 

 

Brian scoffs. 

 

“You? out of all people? Why?” he says it with a mocking, humorless laugh. He then turns to the others, “Mission failed everyone! I got the wrong guy to fall for me!” he lets out another maniac laugh, getting worried looks because of it.

“I’m out!” he raises his hands then let them fall to his sides, expressing his defeat, “You deal with whatever huge mess this is by yourselves!” 

 

With that being said, Brian leaves the apartment without looking back, closing the door with full force.  

 

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I'm sorry again for taking too long x/ I know everyone's been anticipating this chapter so I hope it didn't disappoint. Feel free to tell me what you think about it =)

FUN FACT: The kissing scene is totally unplanned, my fingers just went with the flow and I was like "It's a mess anyways, let's make it messier" so I kept it hehe ;)

Have a good Monday everyone ^___^