University is like another world. Donghae lives in the dorms and there is always something to do or someone to talk to. He gets a roommate called Kyuhyun who is always getting him into trouble, and neither of them ever have any money. Passing trains rattle the room and keep them awake, it’s too hot in summer and too cold in winter, and Donghae loves it. He enjoys most of his classes, there’s pressure but not too much, he’s within walking distance of the most amazing taco place, and it’d be perfect if only-

If only Hyukjae was there too.

Yeah… Hyukjae. Donghae frowns. Things have never felt quite the same since that night. Is it just Donghae’s imagination or is there some sort of distance between them now?

Apart from the very real physical distance, of course.

On the surface, nothing has changed; they still laugh and gossip and make plans together. They still bicker and tease and complain to each other. But sometimes, when they talk, Donghae feels sometimes like there’s a shadow between them, some sort of wedge that he was responsible for putting there. Maybe it’s university, or the stress of being apart, but Hyukjae is quieter somehow, more reserved.

He keeps his end of the bargain though; he calls or messages Donghae every day. For almost a whole year he has called or messaged each evening without fail. But Donghae still misses the sound of his rusty old car pulling up outside. He misses Hyukjae’s wardrobe full of things to borrow and how Hyukjae falls asleep at the movies, he misses how Hyukjae grumbles but pays for Donghae’s meals anyway.

He misses Hyukjae.

Hyukjae, who he has only seen five times in eleven months, and who has classes and roommates and new friends of his own.

‘You don’t even care that we’re drifting apart,’ Donghae says to Hyukjae that night, because he’s stressed and tired and he misses him. Hyukjae protests, but then somehow they’re arguing until Hyukjae ends the call and Donghae feels even worse.

On the other side of the room, Kyuhyun groans and reaches for his headphones.

‘You and your damn boyfriend,’ he says. ‘Take your couple drama somewhere else.’

‘He’s not my boyfriend,’ Donghae snaps. Kyuhyun knows this already; Donghae is not the sort of person who can live so closely with someone and keep such big secrets. Kyuhyun knows there was a kiss. He knows that Donghae panicked the next day, unable to explain or laugh or say it didn’t mean anything so instead had ignored Hyukjae’s calls and messaged him wow, I must have been so drunk last night, I don’t remember anything, sorry Hyukjae I’m so hungover!!

‘You’re a ing idiot,’ Kyuhyun tells Donghae when Donghae gets sad and lonely and starts analysing the one word response Hyukjae had sent that day. ‘He said okay. So either tell him it’s not, or move on.’

It is Kyuhyun who buys him a box of tissues when Hyukjae starts his endless cycle of short-lived girlfriends again.

‘Why?’ Donghae asks. ‘I’m not crying.’

‘They’re not for tears,’ Kyuhyun says smugly.

Their friend and classmate Sungmin shakes his head.

‘Don’t wait too long, Donghae,’ he says. ‘He’ll eventually find someone else.’

Donghae tells himself it’s not gonna happen.

Only, one day it does.

It’s Christmas and Donghae is alone in the dorms. Everyone else has gone home for the holidays, but Donghae’s mom and brother are abroad. He sort of hoped that Hyukjae might invite him to stay with his family, but Hyukjae apparently has not gone home either.

By 3.00pm Donghae has all but given up on life. He is lying on the sofa, bored out of his mind, eating the chocolate-covered coffee beans Kyuhyun had given him (they’re truly gritty and disgusting which is why Kyuhyun had not eaten them himself) and sending Hyukjae sad, needy messages. It’s Christmas. They’ve always spent it together. He looks down at his wrist and plays with his worn, faded friendship bracelet (it’s been repaired so many times there’s almost none of the original leather left) and suddenly, urgently, needs to know if Hyukjae is still wearing his. He grabs his phone and dials, but Hyukjae doesn’t answer. It makes Donghae feel even more bored and lonely and dejected.

Less than a minute later though, his phone rings.

‘Hyukjae!’

On the other end of the line, Hyukjae laughs, and Donghae’s bad mood evaporates with a pop. Another train rattles by outside and Donghae settles down more comfortably.

‘I’m really bored,’ he tells Hyukjae. ‘What are you doing, where are you?’

‘I’m driving,’ Hyukjae says. ‘I- um- actually I was going to call you.’

‘I should ing think so!’ Donghae pops another disgusting chocolate in his mouth. ‘I’ve been waiting all day.’

‘Sorry,’ Hyukjae says. He sounds… distracted. ‘Sorry, Donghae. I’ve- I’ve had a lot on my mind.’

Donghae frowns.

‘Is everything okay?’

‘Yeah,’ Hyukjae says. ‘Listen Donghae, there- there’s someone I like.’

Donghae has heard this many times before.

‘Oh?’ he says, trying to sound interested as he flicks through the channels on TV. ‘Who is it this time?’

Hyukjae is silent for a moment.

‘It’s not like that