Seungcheol grew up under the care of his only brother, Seungmin. He didn't need his parent's love since he only needed Seungmin. Because if that, it also meant he didn't hold any kind of feeling for his parents. Including awareness.

It wasn't sudden, when his brother changed. He'd been changing little by little the whole time, but since Seungcheol was with him through it all, he didn't find the changes weird, he just thought he was learning more about him. Seungmin went from soft and caring into a more careful and timid character. He use to smile brightly regardless of who he was talking to, putting everyone in a good mood. He suddenly started frowning when certain people approached him. He started putting Seungcheol behind him when others got too close, even though the other was someone familiar. 

"You look so cute, I don't want others to take you away from me."

This protectiveness, Seungcheol chalked it up to love. He had always knew that his brother loves children, so much so that he dotes on him a lot. Seungcheol didn't hate the love, he enjoyed it since Seungmin was the only one giving it. Seungmin once spoke for a long time about children, making Seungcheol love them too.

"They are so tiny you know? Well, you're a monster for growing so big. I'm kidding! Haha, I love it. Makes me want to hold them tight and help them grow up. Once they grow up, they'll learn to walk, learn to talk, and one day they will say that one thing to you. I want to hear it. That one sentence."

"What do you want to hear, hyung?"

"....Thank you for raising me so well, I love you."

"Hyung, thank you for raising me! I love you the most!!!"

"Haha! Thank you Cheol."

Something about returning love for effort, it was something like that that tickled Seungmin's heart. Seungcheol kept reminding him of his love and thanking him everyday for being with him, but it wasn't enough to make him stay.

It started when their father arranged a marriage for Seungmin. 

"Why not? I heard you like children. Marry this girl and have some of your own. Make sure to have sons so they can inherit the company later."

"I don't want to."

"....You've never disobeyed me before. What is it? What do you need?"

"You won't understand."

Seungmin had stormed out that day, completely missing Seungcheol who was peeking from the door. The look on his face wasn't pretty. 

The next time Seungcheol saw his brother since then, was over a week later. Seungmin was the one to take care of him the whole time, the sudden loneliness hit him hard. He had searched for some attention from his parents for once, but they threw him out and punished him for disturbing them. No dinner, his father said. He remembered that day for the rest of his life. It wasn't a huge punishment, but it was the first time something like this happened to him. This was how neglect felt like. Seungmin was saving him the whole time.

"I'm so sorry, Cheol are you okay? Did they do anything to you?" Seungcheol couldn't say anything, only holding onto his brother, crying softly. "I'm here now. I'm sorry for leaving you here all alone."

Seungcheol wouldn't let Seungmin go so Seungmin couldn't help but sleep with him that night. They talked for a long time before falling asleep.

"Hyung, father said some nasty things when I went to them the other day. What does that mean?"

"....you don't have to listen to them. They don't know how to raise children."

"Then hyung, where did you go? I was all alone."

"Hyung was out thinking. There's something I haven't told you before, and I'm sure you will come to understand it one day. I love children, I love you. But I don't want to have children with someone else. You have to love someone to have a baby right? I...don't think I have the heart to love someone."

Seungcheol really didn't understand, and even until today, he didn't really know either. It was too vague, too short for little him to understand. Either way, back then, he didn't want his brother to marry. He'd lose someone if he did. They continued to live their days there together for a while.

"Hyung, your hair has gotten so long."

"I know."

"Won't you cut it?" Seungmin placed a flower behind his ear and posed for Seungcheol. He didn't answer his question.

"Isn't this cute?"

"Hyung, it's kind of girly."

"....It's ok to like pretty things too."

"Then hyung, I think pink suits you." 

It didn't take long for their father to come for them again. Regardless of what Seungmin told his father, this father continued with the arranged marriage, not telling Seungmin anything of it. Not until the day before the wedding day.

"What are you doing?!"

"Don't look at me as if I'm kidnapping you. I'm your father and I'm preparing you for your wedding."

"Stop it!!!"

Seungmin had struggled against their hands, but he was still young. He couldn't push away full grown adults. Seungcheol couldn't help either, he was held captive by others.

"Hyung!!!"

"Seungcheol?!!!"

With everything he loved taken from him, Seungmin stopped resisting. Seungcheol watched his brother break that day. Seungmin didn't look like Seungmin anymore.

Pushed about and dressed like a doll, Seungmin was forced onto the aisle. His eyes were dead, looking forward somewhere, not at the pastor glaring at him. Standing at the alter, he didn't look at his bride who was coming down either.

Seungcheol watched the whole thing happen. The doors slammed open. Another man about his brother's age showed up. Seungmin's face held shock. The man shouted.

"COME HERE SEUNGMIN!!!!!"

Seungmin didn't even hesitate, he ran straight for that man. Everyone else was still stunned. Seungcheol ran over as well. "Hyung!!"

Seungmin took one look at him and pulled him along too. They ran away from the wedding hall, it wasn't far enough but they had to stop. 

"Seungcheol, listen to me. You can't come with us. I'm sorry but you have to stay here."

"Why?! Why can't I come with you?!"

"Sorry kid, I don't have to money to support both you and your brother."

"Don't say that!!!!" Seungmin hissed. "Cheol, listen to me. I'll come back for you. I promise."

"But hyung!!!"

"Cheol, I love you. I promise you. I've never broken a promise."

Seungmin and a foreign man left him there, his father caught him but not his brother.

It took another 2 weeks before his brother sought him out again. He was waiting for him outside of school. Dressed differently.

"...Hyung?"

"It's me Cheol. This is the real me."

Seungmin had a wig, a dress, and high heels. It really shocked Seungcheol. Seungmin took him to a coffee shop to explain.

"I said I didn't have the heart to love. I learned what it was that was stopping me. It was women. I couldn't love women. I want to have children, but I don't want a women." Seungcheol couldn't understand but he had to understand.

"If I could, I wish to give birth. So I'm working really hard to get money for gender reassignment. Do you still want to come with me? I have a place, but I'm sharing it with a friend."

Seungcheol didn't have to think very deeply. Gender reassignment right? That means surgery right? It will cost a lot. Their father wouldn't give them money for that. If Seungcheol went with his brother, he would only be a burden, slowing him down.

"I'm okay hyung. I'll stay here to stop father."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'll be fine."

He hasn't seen his brother since.

Back at home, he constantly heard abuse, aimed at his brother. 

"That useless wimp!! I knew he wasn't right in the head!!!! You!!! You are no different from him!!!"

"Hyung isn't a wimp!!! He's very strong!!!"

"SHUT UP!!!"

After several years of listening to his father verbally abuse his missing brother, he gave up trying to argue and began changing as well. His brother must of been really sad, not being able to tell anyone what was going on inside his head. Lucky for him, he had a friend that bailed him from the wedding. Was that his true love? Seungcheol though long and hard. He had Joshua at this point and knew loving another man wasn't wrong. Looking at women acting all frail and everything, trying to gain sympathy and all that nasty stuff, he didn't mean the right people. If there was a more approachable, more caring character, maybe he could have loved a woman. But since there wasn't such people around, all because of his name and status, he also began looking for a man.

"Father, you can't stop me. I only like men."

"You're also sick in the head!!!!"

"I don't care what you say to me. I'm me and I'm going to do whatever I want."

Seungcheol was diligent with his work so his father couldn't kick him out, he was the last son in the family so he had to compromise.

"Fine. I'll fine you a man to marry." (This turned out to be Jeonghan.)

His brother must be better off somewhere else other than here.