*PICTURE CREDITS TO THE OWNER*

*SORRYNOTSORRY*

Kyungsoo fixes his hair, fidgeting with his sweater as he glances up at the ticking clock. 7: 23 it read. Half an hour more. JongIn would be coming back by around 8 PM today and Kyungsoo had messaged Baekhyun like a million times to confirm it. But never in these 7 days did he text JongIn. A phone call was far from it. Not because he didn’t want to, because he just couldn’t. Realizing his feelings for the alpha made him extra conscious of JongIn and he isn’t sure he can talk straight if he hears JongIn’s voice. So he decided to keep in contact with Baekhyun instead, and now that JongIn is coming back, the giddiness in his system is only making him nervous. He wants to tell JongIn that he is ready to give this relationship a try, try being the alpha's husband for real, but letting him know isn’t an easy feat.  His heart beats like crazy just thinking about it, can he even confess to the alpha without stuttering? So he decided, that maybe he can make his actions speak for him instead. He cooks a hearty meal for the alpha and puts on the wishbone pendant, making sure it stands out prominent on his neck.  Wouldn’t these tiny details, give JongIn the message he is trying to imply? He really hopes it works.

 The dining table was set with all JongIn’s favorites. He lights a sandalwood fragrance candle, not just to brighten up the atmosphere, but simply because he misses the alpha a bit too much.  He even puts on a baby blue color sweater, one of JongIn’s favorite colors to maybe try and impress the alpha as well.

As he arranges everything for JongIn, Kyungsoo realizes, that he knows quite a bit about his husband. He never really voluntarily asked what the alpha likes. He simply observed and learned them by heart. How JongIn loves fried chicken over anything. How despite being shy about it, he loves to cuddle the huge teddy bear in his bedroom.  How he hits the person sitting next to him when he is drowned in embarrassment. Just like that, these tiny things that makeup JongIn, every small thing about him is what made Kyungsoo fall for the alpha. Kyungsoo snaps out of his daze when he hears the main door lock beeping, indicating the arrival of his husband. He quickly glances towards the clock and realizes that he is back a bit early than he expected, but simply shrugs it away and jumps towards the main door in glee.

“Welcome home!” Kyungsoo greets the alpha cheerful, a huge smile on his lips but it slowly vanishes when he JongIn glances up at him with a grim look, nodding at him in acknowledgment and walking away.

That doesn’t stop Kyungsoo. He follows the alpha into the house, telling him to hand him his coat and suitcase; he must be tired from the long flight.

“It’s ok Kyungsoo-shi. I can carry them.” JongIn mutters, walking away in the direction of his room.

“But JongIn-shi, at least have some dinner. I understand that you must be tired but you should eat something before you sleep. Why don’t you take a shower and come down, I will set the table in the meantime.  Hmm?”

“I am not hungry Kyungsoo-shi. I am really tired and I would like to call it a day. Please let me go.” JongIn turns around, ready to leave but Kyungsoo stops him, holding his free hand tight.

“I made your favorites today JongIn-shi. At least have a bite..”

“DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND IF I SAY IT ONCE!?”  JongIn snaps and Kyungsoo jerks away, frightened at the alpha’s outburst.

JongIn’s enraged eyes briefly land on Kyungsoo’s neck, but he doesn’t give a mind about it. He simply lets out a heavy sigh, muttering a small apology under his breath, and walks away. Once JongIn walks away from his sight, Kyungsoo collapses onto the floor, the alpha’s enraged pheromones still hanging in the air, making him breathless.  He fists his sweater near his heart and tears fall involuntarily from his eyes. JongIn...JongIn shouted at him. All these months and not even once did the alpha raise his voice at him. So why? Why is JongIn suddenly behaving like this? He.. he didn’t even smile at him, not even a small one since he stepped into their home. Why didn’t..he smile at him? JongIn always, always had a pleasant smile whenever he is with Kyungsoo so why? What happened to that smile? Is JongIn just tried or is it..that smile was never real, to begin with? Did JongIn…pretend to be happy all this time? Did JongIn..ever even like him? Probably not, maybe he was just pretending, putting on a fake smile, his obligations forcing him to do so. Maybe…he never was happy with Kyungsoo. Why would he? Did he get to choose who he marries? He was thrown in a situation where the only option was this; no way would he be happy about it.  Is it slowly eating him alive? This suffocating life, pretending, acting, compromising. The frustration piling up in his heart must have finally broken loose. It was an obligation he had to fulfill. This marriage was not out of love.

What has he done?! How can he drag JongIn into this, knowing very well that the alpha is only doing this because of his promise? To fulfill his dead friend's last wish. JongIn… doesn’t have any feelings for Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo presses his palms against his mouth, hard sobs spilling out of his lips. He ruined JongIn’s life. He took away his chance to find his one true love. He tied him down into an unwanted marriage and made him suffer. Kyungsoo just cries harder, pulling his legs together and burying his face in his lap. He doesn’t remember how long he cried, but he cries until his eyes give up and he drifts off to sleep right where he was left behind.

***

Kyungsoo’s phone blares with a loud ringtone on a nearby coffee table, making him wake up with a groan. His eyes feel heavy, but he ignores the irritation in his eyes and walks to the table, grabbing his phone