When she made it to his apartment, the door was unlocked, and he was seated on his couch. Triple looked over at her, and she smiled slightly to herself, it was like the little feline was watching over him until she made it here.

She dropped her belongings on the counter, kicked her shoes off and climbed onto the couch, crossing her legs before pulling Jaehyun against her. “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t speak, but he closed his eyes, his body sagging limply against her. Minutes ticked by before he finally spoke, his words slow and his voice scratchy, “I don’t know why I thought it would be fine being back there.”

She ran her fingers methodically through his hair as he leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling, “I thought I’d be stronger than this by now.”

“Okay.” She leaned over him, bracing her hands on either side of his head so she could stare into his eyes, “You want to know what real strength is? It’s waking up every morning and getting out of bed after your sister was brutally murdered. It’s working across the street from the police precinct when you’re sure one of them killed her. It’s fighting for her, every day, even as years pass by. It’s finding something from within that allows you to continue living your life even though sometimes it feels like your entire world has stopped. That’s what real strength is, and you’re going to have to do a lot more to convince me that it’s something you don’t have.”

Jaehyun’s eyes were wide and his lips were parted, stunned before he leaned up to kiss her and soon, she was on her back and he was hovering over her, moving his mouth against hers to a beat of a song that the two of them could hear in their minds. He dragged his hips against hers surreptitiously as his mouth moved headily with hers, it was everything she could want, the most delicious onslaught she’d ever experienced as he inched her shirt up.

Surprisingly, it was Ayeon who pulled away first, holding him back with the palms of her hands trying not to look at his lips because they were a siren song of their own, dragging her to her demise, “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I don’t think we should, tonight.”

He caught his breath and stared at her, confusion filtering his gaze. She touched his face before shaking her head, “I just want to be next to you tonight. I just want to be…here.”

He sat back on his knees and took her hand, pulling her up so that they were sitting shoulder to shoulder. “I’m sorry today was so hard.”

He shook his head, “I’m sorry I’m making you deal with this.”

“We could go back and forth like this all day, apologizing.” She mused, bumping her shoulder with his.

He smiled slightly, taking her hand and staring at it closely. He touched each finger, squeezing them one at a time, lingering on her ring finger in deep thought.

“I like to think that she was looking at the ocean before she died.” He said under his breath. “Thinking she saw anything else is unbearable.”

Ayeon laced their fingers together and leaned her head against his shoulder, “I bet it was beautiful. I bet the last thing she saw was beautiful.”

-----

She contacted Kyung Gyu’s partner late at night when Jaehyun was passed out next to her, but anger and adrenaline kept her awake. He had replied quickly the next morning, citing a date and place for them to meet, ending the email off with how he had heard so much about her and was more than happy to chat.

Ayeon shifted in her chair as she sat by the window of a small café, across from retired officer, Yook Sun Do, trying to pretend that the long and in-depth history of his career was remotely interesting to her.

“After spending 30 years in homicide I finally moved to Robbery which was a lot better because that sort of doesn’t give you nightmares, let me tell you.” He chortled.

Ayeon’s cheeks were sore from the smiling, “And that’s where you spent your years left before retirement?”

“Yup, it was a cake walk, a nice way to spend my last golden years on the force.” Shaking his head in disbelief, “I can’t believe I spent 40 years in uniform.”

She took a sip of her drink, “Did you ever want to be a detective?”

“For a while, when I first started, but I realized that it wasn’t something I liked. If I thought being a homicide police officer gave me nightmares, being a detective was worse. Tell me I’m wrong, in all the years you spent as a detective, didn’t some of it you up?” He asked.

Ayeon blinked, hearing his words for the first time, “I mean, sure, but that feeling fades when the person responsible for the horrific things I’ve seen is brought to justice.”

“You’re young, your track record for cases might be good now but eventually you’ll face one that will shake your faith in your badge to the core, I’ve met many detectives like that.”

“Did you ever face one as an officer?” She asked quietly.

He stared at his mug before shaking his head, “Not exactly, but sometimes you notice things that shake your faith.”

“I guess it’s easier with a partner, huh?” She casually mentioned.

He gave her a grim smile, “I’m sorry about yours. I heard it all over the news.”

“He wasn’t my partner.” She corrected stiffly.

The man just smiled sympathetically, “But he was that night.”

“And how did your partner handle your retirement? Was it hard for him to see you go?” She diverted the topic quickly, she wasn’t here to analyze her partnership with Lucas.

He clucked his tongue, “He wasn’t there for it, he was transferred long before I finally kicked it.”

She blinked, feigning surprise, “Oh really? Where’d he transfer to?”

“I don’t really remember, he sorta left without a word.” He said, shaking his head, “I guess he must’ve put in a transfer request or something. After all that time working together, you’d think he’d give me a heads up.”

.

This was a waste of time.

“Sometimes you can do everything as a mentor and still fail.” He said tiredly.

She frowned, “What do you mean?”

“Not everyone is cut out for this work, Detective Yoo. Some crumble from seeing the true depravity of humankind, others let the power of the badge give them a God-complex like they have the power to decide who lives, who dies and who rots behind bars. But there are some people, who just see this job as a means to an end.” He said forlornly.

“What does that mean?” She asked, leaning forward.

Sadness flashed in his eyes, “Just because I’m no longer with the force, I’d never turn my back on an officer but I can say that some people only become police officers so they can be protected when they commit crimes.”

“Wh—”

He stood, dusting himself off and gave her a firm smile, “I’m glad I could offer you some advice, Detective. After hearing so much about you, it’s an honor to meet you in person but I ask that you don’t reach out to me anymore. I’d like to retire in peace.”

-----

“Hiya darling.” Ayeon sang when she answered Jaehyun’s call. She spent her day lazily running errands and cleaning her apartment, catching up on things that she had been too occupied to do with everything else on her plate. Cleaning, doing groceries, making plans with her friends, it all kept her mind off of Yook Sun Do’s haunting words and the reminder that she was no closer to finding the one person who she could actually tie to Haerin’s murder.

She had her feet up on her coffee table, her arms stretched over her head, her tense muscles unwinding. Jaehyun had the uncanniest ability to just melt every bone and tendon in her body with his voice, it’d wipe her mind clean out.

“Hey sweetheart, my heater is broken.” He murmured.

She frowned, glancing out the window at the quivering branches of the trees, “Really? It’s freezing, do you have a backup generator? I can lend you some space heaters.”

“Or you could just come over.”

Her eyes widened and little sparks electrified her cheeks, “Wh—do you want me to come with the space heaters?”

He hummed lowly, “No. You could come over and keep me warm yourself.”

She flinched when liquid fire spilled down her veins. She let out a breathy laugh before closing her eyes and tilting her head back, flushed with the type of butterflies that only he could illicit, “And how would I go about keeping you warm?”

“I could make us tea and we can wrap ourselves in layers of blankets together and cuddle.” His voice was already a kindling fervor.

“And there’s a new nature documentary out.” She whispered.

He groaned, “Tea, blankets, a nature documentary and you in my arms. Sweetheart, please tell me you’re already on your way.”

Her laugh bubbled through before she stood up, grabbing extra blankets and searching for a space heater she had packed away somewhere, “I’m coming over.”

He met her at the door with a kiss, she sighed against his mouth and slowly wound her arms around his neck pulling him near until he touched her cheek. She reeled back and stared at him taking in his reddened cheeks and nose, “You’re freezing.”

“Hmm so let’s hurry and cuddle.” He mumbled against , kissing her again while closing the door behind her and pulling her towards the little nest he had made of blankets and pillows and thick fuzzy socks.

It was utter bliss.

She was going to be forever grateful that she came over. She was leaning against Jaehyun’s chest, seated between his legs with thick comforters cloaking the two of them on the couch. She had a steaming cup of tea in her hand as she rested her head against his neck. He had slipped a hand under her shirt, palming her stomach while burying his face against her hair.

The pair of them watched the documentary in a comforting silence except for the steady hum of the space heater she had demanded be plugged in, “I think this is quite literally what heaven must feel like.” He whispered in her ear.

She hummed, reaching under her shirt to trail the tip of her fingers down the veins on the back of his hand. She could feel her eyes grow heavy to the rhythm of his heartbeat and breathing, “Oh, heaven has nothing on you, darling.”

“You almost sound like you’re flirting with me.” He mused, watching the grand waterfall being shown on the tv.

She hummed, twisting her body so she could bury herself closer against him, “To be clear, I am flirting with you, I’m quite good at it.”

“I like who I am when I’m with you.” He whispered it, almost like he didn’t think she’d hear him. He leaned down and kissed her, moving his hand from under her shirt to cup the side of her face, pulling her close before pulling back.

“Thank you for coming over.” His lips brushed against hers as he spoke.

“Of course, how could I turn down an offer to cuddle?” She said with a little laugh.

He shook his head, “No, I meant the other night.”

Her smile fell as she drank the sincerity in like a woman stranded on a beach, parched, “If you think, for a second, I wouldn’t come running the minute you call for me, you’re an idiot.”

“I hope you know I’d do the same in the blink of an eye.” He sighed.

She touched him like a piece of delicate glass, “I know, you would. You have. Many times.”

“I’ve had a lot of nights like that night.” He admitted, “A lot of nights feeling helpless and empty thinking about Haerin. Missing her.”

She pushed herself off his chest and sat up, crossing her legs to face him. He was still laying on his back and reached out to tug the blanket tightly over her shoulders. He took a shaking breath, “But last night was the first time I spent a night like that with someone next to me.”

Ayeon ran her hand down his chest and he smiled, “It hurt less with you there with me.”

“Really?” Half the word got trapped in .

He took her ha