Ayeon found herself thinking about Jaehyun too much for her comfort. 

He was the end of her every thought, no matter what it started with, it would finish with him. It fogged her vision and throttled .

She stared at the music box that she had carefully placed on her dresser. It looked out of place, childish and fanciful in a room full of adult responsibilities, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from it. It was the only reminder in her room of a past with tutus, slippers and the impounding fear of her father’s disapproval. She slowly twisted the key, winding it up before letting the music waft around her.

Ayeon closed her eyes and laid on her bed, letting herself sink into her mattress like the mechanical notes were pressing weights into her body. She hummed softly, nowhere near as melodically as Jaehyun typically did, along with the tune, lulled into a daze.

He found the most ridiculous ways to dig these little holes in her life, in her heart, and bury little gems for her, just for her. It sometimes disturbed her, how well he knew her and what she was thinking like everything about her made sense to him.

She wasn’t used to it.

Ayeon opened her eyes and turned her head to stare at the little ballerina spin on top of her table. Sometimes she felt like she was just spinning mindlessly, with no purpose, but she was feeling a little less of that lately. She faced the ceiling again and thought about Jaehyun standing near her, being around her, and his voice low and so, so close to . She squeezed her eyes so tightly that it made her head hurt. She tried to remember clearly the lurch in her stomach when she realized how close he was.

How suddenly, the thought of his mouth on hers became a very real, very vivid possibility.

It was the first time her mind had ventured in that direction about a man she knew more than a friend but less than a lover. A consideration that she had never made until he had ripped the chasm of probabilities open. And much to her detriment, it became all she could consider now.

Jaehyun was not a whirlwind. He didn't blow her away in one second and disappear the next. He did not leave her winded, nor did he leave her with debris that she needed to pick up on her own. He did not lift her off the ground and throw her where she didn’t want to go.

Jaehyun was a gravitational pull.

-----

COCKTEASE

“The shaming was surprisingly delayed.” Ayeon said with a humourless smile as she stared at her desk the next morning. She hated coming in to the precinct, it made hives break out on her skin.

Soya stormed up to her and stared at the words angrily scrawled on the desk, “What the is this?”

“Doesn’t bode well that the only single female detective in this precinct was the object of affection to the widely loved officer who died because of her.” Ayeon mused, wondering just how far rumours of her and Lucas had spread, she was truly curious to where they extended to.

“He didn’t die because of you.” She hissed. “Do you know who did this?”

She raised a brow, “If I did, I wouldn’t be standing here.”

“Oh.”

The two of them turned to Daemin who was holding a bucket of paint, “I’m sorry, I was hoping to get to it before you did, Detective Yoo.”

Her lips twitched as Soya gaped, “You tried to paint it over?”

His eyes darted to the other officers who were staring, “Try is the operative word.”

“Thanks, Daemin, but don’t put yourself out. It’s not going to help you get along with the others.” Ayeon said with a nod.

He frowned, “But they took it too far.”

She shook her head, “Self-preservation, Daemin. I suggest you try it.”

“Are you sure?” He said with a concerned look of uncertainty, it nearly warmed her heart.

“I’ll be fine.” She said gently.

He nodded, giving her a sad smile before walking away with the paint.

“Self-preservation?” Soya gasped before leaning towards her friend, “Please tell me he isn’t getting bullied too.”

Ayeon’s wince was enough, “Oh my god. What the hell is wrong with this precinct. I actually like Daemin. He knows how to keep his mouth shut and head down.”

“Well, leadership here isn’t big on punishing hazing and harassment. All we do is just move problems to different precincts instead of dealing with it properly. Are we surprised that the Commissioner has no plan for internal problems?” Ayeon muttered.

Soya watched Ayeon carefully, that was the closest she had ever gotten to lashing out against the months of abuse, “Well, that’s what happens when the Commissioner just sits in his office all day, smoking.”

Ayeon looked at the angry word scribbled on her desk in sharpie. She traced the vulgarity with her finger, wondering how selfish she was, inflicting pain on someone who only ever showed her respect and kindness, someone who simply wanted to be liked back.

“You know…” Ayeon started slowly, “I never led him on. I never made him believe that anything could happen between us, not even a little.”

“Honey, of course I know. I’m the last person you would need to convince. Everyone will one braincell knows how often you rejected him.” Soya said sharply. She pointed to the word, “That isn’t who you are or what your relationship with him is.”

“But I was cruel to him…wasn’t I?” Ayeon whispered, “He liked me, more than a crush. I rejected him every time and he’d have to work across from me everyday.”

Ayeon looked over at his desk, filled with flowers and little gifts that officers would leave him, to remember him. She wondered what he thought about whenever he saw her, she wondered if he ever resented her deep down.

Lucas didn’t think a human could be a powerful as Detective Yoo Ayeon.

He let his gaze fall over his computer screen to land on the woman across the room from him with her hair wound up in a bun held by a pencil. He wondered what it’d feel like to run his fingers through her hair, to be that close to her.

She had her fingers pressed against her lips as she frowned at her computer, eyes darted back and forth quickly as she scanned a document.

A lump grew in his throat as he looked away. He knew it was a losing battle, one where she’d roll her eyes with a small smile whenever he flirted. She did not like him, she did not want to date him, and she most certainly would not want his fingers in her hair.

But he did hope, an honest hope, that one day she would let someone run their fingers through her hair. His friends thought he was insane for wanting a woman who he liked to be happy with a hypothetical guy that wasn’t him. But it made sense to him, that he wanted her to feel about someone the way he felt about her.

Because Detective Yoo Ayeon was not just a detective, she was not just a woman that he liked. She had a moral compass, she fought for justice, for ethics, for fairness. She was what police officers needed to be. He liked to think that one day she’d find someone who appreciated her for all that she was, for all she was capable of, and for all the places she’d go in life. It wouldn’t be him, he knew that, and it was okay.

A new email popped up in his inbox and he distracted himself.

So, what if she’d never like him back? She was the reason he was the cop he was today, why he pursued justice with the type of vigor that he did.

And that was good enough for him.

“You were not cruel.” Soya said softly, “You were honest. Cruel would be letting him believe that he was more to you than he was.”

Ayeon swallowed her pity party down , embarrassed that she would be so selfish, needing validating when the officer was shot and killed. She picked up a tissue box and placed it over the word.

“There. Good as new.”

Before Soya could protest, Jinah’s voice came floating through the halls, the pair of them turned but Ayeon froze when the Commissioner entered the room first, Jinah walking a step behind.

“Ugh.” Soya muttered under her breath, “He’s been showing up around here too much.”

Everyone rushed to stand, bowing in respect, but Ayeon was rooted in her spot, feeling her skin crawl as she tracked him with her eyes.

Why was he showing up so much?

His eyes scanned the room of officers, nodding impassively until his sights landed on Ayeon. She took a sharp breath as he pinned her with his eyes, inspecting, judging. She couldn’t find it in her to move, to bow and acknowledge him. She could only stare, wondering what this man could do with $100,000.

Jinah intercepted his gaze by standing in front of her, blocking his line of sight while holding an arm out in the direction of the door. He grumbled something to her before she walked out with him. The minute he was gone, her shoulders unwound, and she noticed how her heart raced.

A sudden rush hit her, an aching need to expose every dirty skeleton in his closet, to hang them up on a stage for the world to see. Any doubt she had begun to clear.

He was a rotting limb, and she needed to cut him off.

-----

Jaehyun was thinking a lot about space lately.

Stars, planets, blackholes, galaxies, it all fascinated him after a long night of documentaries.

It’d be his 3AM thoughts when it would hit him that somehow, the perfect combination of things had come together to create the universe, to create a planet that could sustain life as complex as humans. That somehow, they had made the cut.

He stared, bewildered, as Ayeon stood in his bedroom, hunched over by his bed, talking to Triple, who was tilting his head, reaching a paw out to touch her face as she explained instructions to him with the utmost seriousness.

She was working out of his store like normal and when he came back from manning the front, he noted that both she and Triple had vanished and the door to his apartment was suspiciously wide open. He was certain, at this point, that Ayeon had somehow managed to make a copy of his keys.

“Are you ready?”

Triple just stared at her.

She hunched forward more, her hair swinging down as she reached and arm out and snapped her fingers with great flourish. On command, Triple, with his three legs, leapt gracefully onto her back, balancing precariously on her spine. Ayeon slowly straighten her back and Triple scampered up until he was perfectly balanced on her shoulder, perched like a parrot.

“Ohhhh, that’s a good boy.” She cooed softly, holding up a small treat to her shoulder.

It simply wasn’t fair, Jaehyun thought to himself as he watched her scratch Triple’s chin. The cat keened, pressing the side of his head against hers as a purr ripped through him. It wasn’t fair that it was starting to feel like every aspect of his life was made with her in mind. Like there was an Ayeon shaped hole in his life and it was just waiting for her to come and fit herself in perfectly, like she belonged nowhere else.

“Am I interrupting?” He finally vocalized.

She turned, her eyes wide and her face flushed with an embarrassed red, as if she was caught doi