Taeyong used to joke that Jaehyun was too loose with his emotions.

That he used serious words too easily but Jaehyun didn’t see it like that. He saw it as taking the pretentious overbearing nature of words that we held too close to our chests and being brave enough to speak them out loud. Sometimes words didn’t have to move mountains and shake the core of the earth, sometimes they didn’t need to weigh a thousand pounds. 

Sometimes words could just be words.

And such, Jaehyun couldn’t stop staring at Ayeon all Christmas day.

He loved this woman.

Taeyong would laugh and maybe Jinah would too if they heard, but he knew that giving him the picture of Haerin was something that he could never forget and filled him with more emotion than he could grasp. Made sense, considering the last few months were nothing but Ayeon pulling him closer and closer to her. 

And he loved her for it.

-----

She frowned and picked up the glittery card stock, “You’re throwing a party…”

“For New Years.” Jaehyun said, leaning against the counter, “I’d like to the start the new year with something happy for once.”

Ayeon set the card down, “Well, good for you. You should.”

“I’d like you to come, detective.”

She wanted to gag whenever he used that tone. Like he was telling her and only her a secret. “Why on earth?”

“You’re largely the reason I could try to be happy.” He said gently.

She rolled her eyes, “I’ll have to check my availability.”

His smile grew more affectionate the longer he stared, “How did you like the tea?”

She shrugged, “Haven’t tried it yet.” 

He knew she was bluffing, he could smell it from her travel mug. “Well, I need to head to the precinct, is this why you made me come here?”

He smiled to himself and picked up a daisy, a remnant of an arrangement he was working on earlier, and reached out, his fingers brushed her hair aside, tucking it behind her ear. Her eyes widened as she stared at him, her body shivering as she replayed the feeling of his fingers against the shell of her ear.

“That’s all I called you for. Have a nice day, detective.”

-----

Ayeon ended up spending the entire week thinking.

About work, sure. About her friends, always. About her father, unfortunately. But mainly about Jaehyun.

Ever since Christmas, it felt like something had shifted in their orbit. She wasn’t sure what it was, but it was driving her insane. She tried to escape the maze by distracting herself with Haerin, digging and digging through any police file she could find in her name. It was too minimal, probably because it was treated as an accident, but it surprised her that there was no evidence, no other avenues, no witnesses, nothing to indicate that they looked into anything else.

She stopped over the pictures, unable to look away from the gruesome scene of blood. Her jacket was falling off her shoulders and her body slumped over the jagged rocks by the water like a blanket. Ayeon had seen her fair share of gruesome crime scene photos before, she was good at steeling her stomach up.

This time, it took about 5 minutes before she ran to the bathroom, throwing up in the privacy of a stall.

-----

She ended up going.

She always knew she would end up going.

It was Jaehyun, after all.

She paced in front of his shop, nervously tugging on the silk blouse that was peeking out of her jacket. She had fussed over her clothes for an embarrassing amount of time. She couldn’t tell what was appropriate, she knew some people dressed up for New Years, but she didn’t want to seem like she was making it a big deal.

She didn’t know why she was so nervous, it had never been an issue before, she treated Maison De Fleurs like it was hers. But it took her far too long before she finally built up the confidence to open the door and walk in. It took her a while to take in what was in front of her, she wasn’t used to seeing the shop so crowded at one time.

Music was flowing as everyone mingled, sipping on drinks and nibbling on food. Laughter was sprinkled as stories were shared and acquaintances were made. She shifted nervously, unsure what to do surrounded by people she didn’t know.  Her instincts were telling her to turn and leave before anyone noticed her, she could come up with a flimsy excuse.

He saw her the minute she stepped in and felt his breath catch. Her hair was let down, curling over her shoulder and her eyes were dusted with something sparkly. Her cheeks were pinked from the cold and he did not hesitate to abandon whatever conversation he was in the middle of to meet her half way.

“Detective.”

Her eyes met his and her smile curled up cautiously, “Hi.”

His smile grew, his gaze warming, “I’m so happy you’re here.” 

She gulped under the warmth, “Is there somewhere I can hang my jacket?”

“Oh, let me take it for you.” She ed hers, holding her breath as he moved to stand behind her, but close enough to feel his heat. His fingers grazed her so gently as he helped her out of her jacket. She couldn’t see the way his eyes drank in the way the silk hung over her body, he had never seen her wear anything like it. His throat dried as his mind raced to compare it to a flower.

Something as smooth, as alluring, as glamorous.

He couldn’t.

“Do you want something to drink?” He offered with a bit of remaining sanity.

She faced him but she frowned when she saw a bottle of wine sitting on the counter, “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.” He said quietly to her, “I’m not drinking, I can be around it.”

Unknowingly, her hand gripped around his arm, “I don’t need anything. I didn’t expect the crowd.”

“It’s a lot, isn’t it?” He empathized.

She smiled again, “I’ll be fine. Just…don’t go too far.”

“I won’t but Taeyong is lurking around here somewhere, stick with him if you need to.” He offered.

She nodded and was about to speak when someone cut in, “Jaehyun we’re out of the little cakes.”

“I’ll be back.” He said softly to her.

She looked uneasy before nodded again, dropping her hand away, watching him retreat with her coat.

“You are an incredible woman, Detective Yoo.” She turned and found Taeyong approaching her with a cup in his hand and an uneven stagger in his step.

“Call me Ayeon.” She said gently, twisting her fingers. This was new to her. Trying to be more open. Letting someone be friends instead of defaulting into professionalism.

“Ayeon.” He repeated, tipsy.

“And how am I incredible?” She mused, charmed by his blinding grin.

Taeyong handed the cup to her, “Well, the fact that you got the man notorious for hating cops to literally brighten at the sight of you, your power is too strong.”

Her friendly smile slowly shriveled, “I’m sorry?”

“Jaehyun? I couldn’t believe my eyes when I came over and he was making dinner for a detective, he hates cops. Thinks they’re corrupt and what not. How did you change his mind? Aside from being gorgeous, I imagine you have some technique.” He asked.

Her heart pounded and a feeling so close to humiliation sunk in. She thought back to when she told him about Lucas, and about how people thought she was at fault. Did he think she was corrupt? Is that why he pushed her to speak to Mina? Was he on her side, waiting for her to expose some sort of dirty conspiracy?

No.

Step back.

Think.

This was Jaehyun.

“He doesn’t hate cops.” She said with more confidence than she had.

Now it was his smile that started to fade and his expression sobered up, “Wait…”

“He…he doesn’t…” Her voice weakened. Taeyong knew Jaehyun a lot longer than her and a lot better, but hating cops? That was absurd. “He never acted like he hated me.” Her voice just sounded softer and more unsure.

And the panic in Taeyong’s eyes didn’t help her mind, “Please tell me you’re joking. You said you’ve known him months. He didn’t mention this?”

She looked over at Jaehyun, who was in the middle of chatting with someone when his eyes slid over the person’s shoulder to lock with hers. He had a smile but, like everyone in that room so far, his own started to fall when he saw the pained and confused look on her face. His eyes shifted to Taeyong who could only look at him with sympathy and mouth a “sorry” for him to know what just happened.

He looked back at Ayeon and watched her set the cup down on the counter before walking into the back of the store, where the coats were being kept.

“Right? I mean my niece adored the flower crown I got from here.”

Jaehyun had no capacity to engage in this meaningless conversation now, “Excuse me.” He mumbled distractedly as he pushed passed everyone to follow her to where it was quiet.

“Ayeon.” He said softly, his hands shaking. He wasn’t ready for this conversation, he knew it was creeping up on him, he knew it had to happen eventually, but he wanted to pretend it wasn’t a real concern he had to worry himself over.  

She shook her head, keeping herself distracted with the coats stacked together, “It’s okay, I should go.”

“Please.” He whispered. “Talk to me, I can explain.”

She stopped fidgeting and just squeezed her eyes shut, collecting her thoughts before turning to face him, “Is it true? That you hate cops?”

The silence was enough. No immediate denial, no incredulous laugh, just silence. “Oh my god.” She muttered, pressing her hands against her eyes.

“It’s not like that. It’s…complicated.”

“I’m a cop.” Obviously, but she felt like she needed to drive the point home. “If you hate cops than you ha-“

“No.” He said sharply, “I don’t hate you.” He couldn’t think of anything more ridiculous, he had never hated her. His mind would spin in conflict whenever he was around her, but he never hated her. In fact, he liked her so much that it was the root of the conflict.

She scoffed weakly, “Oh nice, what did I do to deserve the exemption?”

“Ayeon.” He begged, wanting to touch her with every fiber of his being. He felt his chest constrict, he had never been on the receiving end of her untrusting gaze.  

She shook her head, closing up, “How come you’ve never said anything to me? Why did you let me get clos- why did you let me come in here every day for months?”

“Jaehyun, you wouldn’t happen to have another bottle of red?” Someone called from the door.

Ayeon turned away, taking deep breaths. Jaehyun fisted his hands and turned, giving the person a polite smile. “I’ll grab it from the fridge and bring it out in a second.”

He turned back to Ayeon and felt his gut churn at the look she was giving him. A look that said that she was dancing with the idea to just run and cut him out of her life completely if what he said next was wrong.

“We should talk about this tomorrow.” He said softly.

Her face darkened and she took a sharp breath, he could see her deciding to just walk away, feeling brushed off, so he scrambled to keep her there. To make sure she wasn’t gone for good.

“No, please. You deserve to know. We need to have this conversation but it’s loud and crowded and someone is going to interrupt us every five minutes. Please. I’ll open up late tomorrow just come in the morning and I’ll tell you everything.”

He could see her balance tilting back and forth but she was still unreadable. He hated this, that he kept this from her to the point where he tested her trust. Where she’d look at him uncertainly like suddenly, he could be the enemy.

“I should go now.” She whispered.

He didn’t think his heart could break over this. He just didn’t think it could break at all. But he could hear it cracking. “Please come tomorrow.”

She just stared at him, proving him with no assurance before grabbing her coat and walking through crowds of people getting ready to count down the new year until she was gone.

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